Ok...Santa or no Santa for your kids??

Chantel - posted on 12/07/2009 ( 39 moms have responded )

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So I was reading another post on this subject in a different community and wanted to bring it up here. Do you have Santa for your kids? We do. I love Christmas and everything involved. I love Santa and all the Santa movies and all the Christmas magic. Love it!! I understand some people not having Santa for religious reasons but some people say they just want their children to know who worked hard to buy all their gifts. What exactly is that teaching them? Christmas is about giving, it shouldn't matter if your kids know you bought it or some magical man came and brought it because they were good. Another couple of people said there wouldn't be Santa Clause for their family because they don't want to lie to their kids but they'll tell their kids not to ruin it for the other kids at school. So you don't want to "lie" to your kids but you're going to tell them to go to school and "lie" to the other kids?? Hello!!
I just love Christmas and everything about it. Its such a magical and exciting time of year and I don't see it as lying to my daughter. I'm helping her develop her imagination and we're having loads of fun while we do it:)
(For the record, we'll also have the easter bunny and the tooth fairy visit our house as well)

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Charlotte - posted on 11/07/2011

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has nobody ever heard of the story of St. Nicholas? He was real, and I tell my children that the "story" of Santa is just to celebrate all the good of people like him, and thats why his other name is St. Nick. I ask my children as they learn the "truth" to continue the lessons and traditions of the toughtlessness of this man and others like him by continuing the "story" of this Saint, AKA "Santa"

Sara - posted on 12/07/2009

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I'm going with New Year's Panda, he likes to shop at the after Christmas sales.



This is been a issue I've been turning over in my mind. I think I have decided that I'm not going to discourage Santa, but I'm not going to encourage him either. If she wants to write him a letter or leave him cookies, ok. I'm more comfortable going with Santa as the "spirit of christmas" rather than an actual guy in a suit that comes down your chimney at night.

Charlie - posted on 12/07/2009

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Sara i will be in on new years panda LOL .

I love the holiday traditions of Santa and Easter bunny even the tooth fairy .
I dont see it as lying i see it as fueling the imagination , sharing tradition , creating memories and bringing a little magic , kids will usually grow out of it .

I say that if you think its lying then dont read stories , watch movies , let children have imaginative play or have dress up costumes because they too would all be lies .

Johnny - posted on 12/07/2009

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Quoting Diana:

Eh. Santa. I don't buy the idea that lying is always bad. =) I think sometimes lying is useful. "Yes, you look great in that dress!" "That is one cute baby." We all tell little lies that make life easier both for us and for others. I think that "lying" in this context allows children to experience a bit of fun and magic, and if it's handled well I don't think it's detrimental at all. I was a little sad when the game was up for me as a child, but I wasn't overwhelmingly depressed about my parents lying to me or anything of the sort. I think I'll probably handle things with my son in a similar way.


I very much agree with this.  And what Loureen said. When I was pregnant, my father gave me a book called, "Lies to Tell Your Children".  It is all about how magical childhood is and fun of finding out about the fibs that your parents told you.  It makes you feel like you're growing up when you find out the "truth". 



I have never personally met anyone who was "upset" when they found out about Santa.  Most people I know still like to make believe.  Life would be so devoid of joy without that kind of magic.  I certainly was not upset with my parents when I found out.  And I never stopped making believe.  When I was 17 I lost my last baby tooth and I still got a dollar put into my pillow by the "tooth fairy". And when my husband came over for our first Easter brunch with my family, my mom put on an Easter egg hunt for him because he'd never had one growing up.  Frankly, it was still just as much fun as it was when I was a kid. 



 



I think some people take the fun parts of life far to seriously and the serious parts of life far to lightly.



 

[deleted account]

Eh. Santa. I don't buy the idea that lying is always bad. =) I think sometimes lying is useful. "Yes, you look great in that dress!" "That is one cute baby." We all tell little lies that make life easier both for us and for others. I think that "lying" in this context allows children to experience a bit of fun and magic, and if it's handled well I don't think it's detrimental at all. I was a little sad when the game was up for me as a child, but I wasn't overwhelmingly depressed about my parents lying to me or anything of the sort. I think I'll probably handle things with my son in a similar way.

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Iris - posted on 12/19/2009

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We do Santa, well we do Santas. We have 13 Santas were I'm from. My children put their shoe in the window 13 days before Christmas and every night, one by one they come to town and each has a little gift or sweet to put in the shoe. My husband is American so we also do the stocking and Santa gifts. Best of both worlds, right?

[deleted account]

We do Santa. We have two stockings up for the kids that will have lollies in and one pressant from Santa.

I remeber as a kid, trying to stay up all night waiting for Santa to arrive.

My SD is scared of Santa and I was determined not to have my son scared of him (if he saw her scared then he would most likely follow suit) so I sat my son down on my knee and watched Santa parades on you tube for about 5 mins every day for 1 month. And it worked!

La - posted on 12/18/2009

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Quoting Krista:


You could compromise by having most of the gifts come from Mom and Dad, with just one or two from Santa. 





Yeah I was thinking that the main gifts would be from us and the stocking stuffers would be from santa.  I don't think he would object to that especially since the bigger gifts wouldn't be the ones in the stockings.

Krista - posted on 12/18/2009

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Quoting Laura:

I don't have a problem with letting a kid believe in Santa, but my SO has a problem with a random old guy who has a cookie addiction taking credit for bringing all the gifts that he works hard to make the money to purchase. He insists that gifts be addressed from mom and dad, not Santa.


You could compromise by having most of the gifts come from Mom and Dad, with just one or two from Santa. 

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Being a child is the only time in life where we are free to believe in the unbelievable and dream the impossible. If my child wants to believe that some fat guy that lives with elves and has flying reindeer brings her a gift once a year, I don't take issue with that. Personally, I was not raised to believe in Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Birthdays etc. . And quite frankly I feel like a bit of my childhood was withheld. The chance to dream big and anticipate wondrous things. . it's the magic of it. . . no one says Santa has to bring an Xbox each year. You have control of the story you tell and the tradition you pass down. . if you tell the story so it's in line with your core values then I think it's a wonderful gift to bestow upon a child; a gift of wonder and delight . and though Santa will not live forever in your child’s life, perhaps you will have left them with memories that will, and they will last a lifetime. Who would want to take that away from a child??? Trust me, they will have plenty of time to learn the cold hard truth about life in general. Let them have their childhood, let them have their innocence and their unquestioning belief in something.

Lindsay - posted on 12/18/2009

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Quoting Laura:

I don't have a problem with letting a kid believe in Santa, but my SO has a problem with a random old guy who has a cookie addiction taking credit for bringing all the gifts that he works hard to make the money to purchase. He insists that gifts be addressed from mom and dad, not Santa.



We just figure that they'll eventually learn that the things came from us. But then again, I don't like the idea of giving and expecting something in return. We also try to teach the kids the importance of giving to others by getting the tags off trees at a local church or the mall and always give anonomously.

La - posted on 12/18/2009

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I don't have a problem with letting a kid believe in Santa, but my SO has a problem with a random old guy who has a cookie addiction taking credit for bringing all the gifts that he works hard to make the money to purchase. He insists that gifts be addressed from mom and dad, not Santa.

Krista - posted on 12/18/2009

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Either way, you're in a pickle. Either you lie to your kids, or your kid has to lie to all the other kids, in order to avoid you having an angry mob of parents on your doorstep when your kid spills the beans. I prefer to think of it as just spinning a little bit of fantasy, to be gently and gradually put away as the child matures.

[deleted account]

Quoting Krista:



Quoting Mary:

I don't think Santa is a good thing...sorry...I was horrified to find out at a very young age (from my asshole older brother) that Santa wasn't real, and my parents had been lying. I was only 5 or 6, and I knew the truth for ages before the rest of the kids my age, and I had to participate in the lie for a long time afterward because of the number of younger sisters I had.
I also, and even more importantly, have a problem with teaching my child that some magical individual he doesn't know will be dropping off unneeded, and undeserved toys and gifts for absolutely no reason each year. I have a serious problem with raising a greedy, demanding, child who believes he is owed gifts for any reason. I tried to discourage gifts from his first birthday party, and was sorely disappointed when people showed up with tons of expensive toys that blink and flash and NO receipts. This year we will either not be throwing a party, or asking people to donate money to St. Judes or some other hospital in Miles' name. I am marginally concerned that my child(ren) will go to school and get in trouble for telling the truth...but, then again, wtf! I shouldn't have to discourage my children from being honest! I also don't agree with lots of things others teach to their children, but I have little control over that, and will have to spend time and energy deconstructing some of this stuff for my kids as well...what's one more thing?!?!?!





Sorry, but I have to disagree with some of the things you've said.  Never have I heard that Santa OWES you presents.  In fact, isn't it common knowledge that Santa only brings you things if you've been good?  This actually ties into the bible in some ways.  The thought of Santa teaches you that you should obey your parents, be nice to others, do your chores......yadda.  Isn't that what kids are supposed to strive for?  Why not reward them for good behaviour?






I agree, Krista. And, to "piggyback" a little on what you said (and play devil's advocate)...Isn't the most basic of Biblical principles that because of Christ we *don't* get what we deserve? I mean, the cornerstone of Christ's death is that it was a sacrifice for all who sinned, and because of the grace and mercy shown by Christ, no one is given what they rightfully deserve. According to Biblical standards, we all dserve to go to hell...And the ultimate undeserved gift is salvation. (And Mary, I'm not picking on you, really...You didn't say anything about Christianity as the reason for you not "doing" Santa...But Krista's reply got me thinking of what you'd said and what I have heard Christian mothers give as reasons for not carrying on the Santa tradition.)

Krista - posted on 12/18/2009

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Quoting Mary:

I don't think Santa is a good thing...sorry...I was horrified to find out at a very young age (from my asshole older brother) that Santa wasn't real, and my parents had been lying. I was only 5 or 6, and I knew the truth for ages before the rest of the kids my age, and I had to participate in the lie for a long time afterward because of the number of younger sisters I had.
I also, and even more importantly, have a problem with teaching my child that some magical individual he doesn't know will be dropping off unneeded, and undeserved toys and gifts for absolutely no reason each year. I have a serious problem with raising a greedy, demanding, child who believes he is owed gifts for any reason. I tried to discourage gifts from his first birthday party, and was sorely disappointed when people showed up with tons of expensive toys that blink and flash and NO receipts. This year we will either not be throwing a party, or asking people to donate money to St. Judes or some other hospital in Miles' name. I am marginally concerned that my child(ren) will go to school and get in trouble for telling the truth...but, then again, wtf! I shouldn't have to discourage my children from being honest! I also don't agree with lots of things others teach to their children, but I have little control over that, and will have to spend time and energy deconstructing some of this stuff for my kids as well...what's one more thing?!?!?!


Sorry, but I have to disagree with some of the things you've said.  Never have I heard that Santa OWES you presents.  In fact, isn't it common knowledge that Santa only brings you things if you've been good?  This actually ties into the bible in some ways.  The thought of Santa teaches you that you should obey your parents, be nice to others, do your chores......yadda.  Isn't that what kids are supposed to strive for?  Why not reward them for good behaviour?

Kelsey - posted on 12/15/2009

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There is something oh so magical about santa and I loved it as a kid. I wasnt scared for life when I figured it out either. I dont want to deny that to my child.

Betsy - posted on 12/14/2009

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I love Santa and all the magic of Christmas. My parents made a huge deal about Christmas, and now I do. I don't see it as lying. I see it as a gift because I am heading towards 40, and I still feel like a giddy 6 yr old in December. That's nice to feel like a kid again, in the midst of busy jobs, family responsibilities, etc. It keeps you young! In fact, every year I send my parents a thank you for giving me that gift of magic and teaching me how to give it to my children. I like having magic in my life, even just once a year, and I still can't sleep on Christmas eve because I am too excited!



BTW, I still refuse to admit to my 19 yr old that Santa doesn't exist. OK I know he knows, but you have to just believe at Xmas. My mother still refuses to admit it to me either lol.

Lindsay - posted on 12/14/2009

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This is my daughter's second Christmas and we are doing Santa. In my family, we did Santa, but my cousins did not. Now that they are gown they really wish their parents had done Santa with them (they also had never gone trick-or-treating until they were in HS and were sad they had never gone before). Christmas in my family wasn't about writing lists (even though we occasionally did) to Santa, but telling him the things we liked. I really like Barbie's (what girl didn't) so for Christmas one year I got a Barbie bed-handmade by my dad. When I told him I liked to draw, I got a wooden caddy for my art supplies-also made by my dad.

We are continuing the tradition of getting handmade gifts for my daughter. This year she is getting a table and chairs-made by my husband- and a table cloth and felt food-made by me. I think Santa is a great tradition and it is only blown out of proportion by some parents. Anyone can easily adapt him for their own family. (we also have a Christopher Popinkins elf that hangs out from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve to make sure kiddos are behaving-our daughter loves getting up and looking all around the house to see where he is hiding that day).

Krista - posted on 12/14/2009

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We'll definitely be doing the Santa thing with our kids. However, when they get to the point where they're starting to ask if Santa is real, we won't lie to them in order to prolong the fantasy for another year. My husband's parents did that. He was pretty sure that Santa wasn't real, and asked his folks, and they kept insisting that he was. He doesn't really like that they kept trying to push it, as opposed to recognizing that he was ready to hear the truth. I think if you tell them the truth in gradual stages, as the child is ready, and let them draw their own conclusions, it's fine. My nephews no longer believe, but they have a lot of fun talking about Santa with their two little stepbrothers.

Evelyn - posted on 12/14/2009

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Didn't we have this same thread last Christmas? LOL Anywhoo....of COURSE we believe in Santa....what parent wouldn't want their child to experience all the fantasy and wonderment of childhood? It's harmless fun. Seriously...if someone was "damaged" by finding out Santa wasn't real...then they are the exception... it's a fantasy...relax. People SERIOUSLY need to stop overanalyzing every little thing. You'll go gray early,,,,just chill out.

Krista - posted on 12/14/2009

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Quoting Loureen:

We leave a beer out for Santa some cookies and carrots for the reindeer .


No wonder he's so jolly...(and no wonder he has a "nose like a cherry". All those broken blood vessels from the booze!)  ; ) 

Jodi - posted on 12/08/2009

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But we also leave out some chocolate......



And of course carrots for the reindeer!!

Charlie - posted on 12/08/2009

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Haha , its pretty traditional to leave a beer out for Santa in Australia all though i think the daddies who have to drink and eat the Santa food made that little tradition up .

Charlie - posted on 12/08/2009

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We leave a beer out for Santa some cookies and carrots for the reindeer .

ME - posted on 12/08/2009

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Wow Erin...I love that idea...good for you...maybe I will reconcider...It's not that I want to be scrooge or anything...I have tons of xmas spirit...but for me, it's always been about family and family traditions, and not about imaginary people who bring expensive gifts...I had a huge family as well, and we always got some great big expensive toy from Santa...I knew my parents were Santa, and getting us things they claimed not to be able to afford...guilt, confusion, expectations...all of these things don't belong mixed up with Christmas!

[deleted account]

I also had the thrill of Santa ruined by older siblings...brothers none the less...I was also young and it was slightly devastating...I felt deceived...It was always really disappointing when we'd write our Christmas list and never get anything off of it! My mom was one of those ppl that thought she knew better what we wanted and would get us HER idea of fun gifts... When I believed in Santa I didn't understand why he never got anything on my list, then when I knew it was mom & dad I got real mad that they blatantly ignored my wishes EVERY YEAR! We grew up in a big family so there weren't many times we'd get gifts and stuff so Christmas was nice because it would kinda make up for the year of going without while a bunch of our friends had TONS of stuff and we had little...so it was always a little depressing when you would make the effort of a list and then come up empty handed every year. I don't mean to say this like I was unthankful for the items I would get, but when I asked for Mall Madness one year like age 9 or something and then got it when I was 14 it was REAL LAME!!!

I've been one of the people fighting with lying to my child about Santa...after many discouraging parents, family members & friends I think I have a good compromise!

One of the issues is lying to my child...so I will play a pretend game of Santa Claus coming down our imaginary chimney...we don't actually have a chimney so we can make a fireplace for Santa to come down :) This will help foster the imagination and giving them the story of Santa and blah blah blah all without lying!

I don't want my child to think that Santa is going to come and give them some extravagant gift that I could never afford! And thereby being disappointed every year w/Santa's gift...Santa's elves do not have technical degrees to make gaming systems and some other ungawdly expensive toy. Elves make wood toys and stuffed animals, etc. old school stuff! So Santa in my house anyways will not be bringing the most expensive gift, but rather some wood toy or plush animal? This I think will help my kids keep the value of gifts in perspective. And like others have said, when leaner times come they will not be surprised when their list of 5 things? all being something horribly expensive and unreasonable will not be gotten. I have boys and if my boys are anything like my brothers or their father as they get older the gifts get more expensive and well I'd just like to prepare them for it now!

Cassie - posted on 12/08/2009

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Our children will be raised believing in Santa! :) My husband and I both look back fondly on our childhood and our excitement over Santa. Even once I knew that there was no Santa Clause, it was still fun to try to continue the excitement in my younger brother and sister. I don't think there is anything wrong with allowing children to use their imaginations and believe in something that isn't easily explainable and has very little proof. That is part of childhood. I want my children to experience the excitement of listening for Santa's reindeer's hooves on our roof, waking up Christmas morning to find the tree stuffed with gifts.
I don't think that allowing a child to believe in Santa and hoping for great gifts on Christmas morning creates a child who is greedy or demanding. I think it is all about how the parent approaches Christmas. For us, Christmas gifts will be those things that the child may really want or need that they don't get in their day to day lives. We will not and do not go overboard, my daughter this year is getting only a few presents and some of them will be bought secondhand (but she will never know the difference). I think that what a child "expects" from Christmas all depends on how parents handle it.
I think it is also a great opportunity to teach children that they can give gifts to those they don't know just as Santa gives gifts to people he may not "know." It is a great time to take children to the tree in the mall with the names of children in need and allow your child to pick a child and buy a gift for them. Santa gives us the opportunity to teach children about compassion and gift giving. I love this holiday for that reason! :)

ME - posted on 12/08/2009

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I don't think Santa is a good thing...sorry...I was horrified to find out at a very young age (from my asshole older brother) that Santa wasn't real, and my parents had been lying. I was only 5 or 6, and I knew the truth for ages before the rest of the kids my age, and I had to participate in the lie for a long time afterward because of the number of younger sisters I had.
I also, and even more importantly, have a problem with teaching my child that some magical individual he doesn't know will be dropping off unneeded, and undeserved toys and gifts for absolutely no reason each year. I have a serious problem with raising a greedy, demanding, child who believes he is owed gifts for any reason. I tried to discourage gifts from his first birthday party, and was sorely disappointed when people showed up with tons of expensive toys that blink and flash and NO receipts. This year we will either not be throwing a party, or asking people to donate money to St. Judes or some other hospital in Miles' name. I am marginally concerned that my child(ren) will go to school and get in trouble for telling the truth...but, then again, wtf! I shouldn't have to discourage my children from being honest! I also don't agree with lots of things others teach to their children, but I have little control over that, and will have to spend time and energy deconstructing some of this stuff for my kids as well...what's one more thing?!?!?!

Heidi - posted on 12/08/2009

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We always do Santa for our kids even for the 2 older ones that don't believe anymore they are 10 and 19, but Santa always brings them a gift. We also do the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy and St. Nick(on Dec 6th). Its good for the kids imagination. Besides Christmas is a time for giving. My boys know the meaning of Christmas and how it came about, but even though Santa isn't real the spirit certainly is.
When I was a kid I use to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth Fairy and St. Nick, and I turned out just fine, or at least I like to think I have.
For those of you who don't know about St. Nickolas, it happens on the night of December 6th every year. Kids are suppose to put there shoes at the end of there beds when its time to sleep and in the morning if they were good they will get fruit candy and chocolate and if they were bad(which has yet to happen) they would get coal in there shoes instead. My boys love all the traditions we do and I sure hope when they have kids of there own they will carry on these traditions!

Chantel - posted on 12/08/2009

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In our house Santa brings the "big" gift and fills stockings and the other gifts are from mommy and daddy. That was how my mom always did it so I just kept the tradition.

Sarah of course Santa is real!! I still believe in Santa Clause;)

Savannah - posted on 12/08/2009

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I think Santa is fun! Of course we will have santa! My husband is on the ropes about it, the same with Halloween, but kids need to have fun and be kids! I can't wait until my kids are old enough to be up all night waiting for santa! :)

Sarah - posted on 12/08/2009

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Hang on!! Are some of you suggesting that Santa DOESN'T exist??????????????????
*cries*

Isobel - posted on 12/08/2009

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We TOTALLY do Santa...usually we leave out carrots for the reindeer and cookies with a glass of wine for Santa ;P

The kids fall asleep in front of the tree waiting for him, then I carry them to bed.

I think it's fun...they're not little for long. I suspect that my oldest is already just playing along (she's 8).

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2009

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We do Santa, but we also give gifts from us too. Not having Santa take all the credit!!! Besides, it makes it much easier to explain in the leaner years.



Our oldest two know the story of Santa, so know that it is us buying ALL the gifts, but understand that there was once a "Santa". I get the feeling this will be the last year with the 3rd one. Taylah, it will be a few years yet, and the older ones have fun keeping up the pretence.



Regardless, though, there is still magic in Christmas, and the kids all have a lot of fun, and treat it as a special family day.

Lindsay - posted on 12/07/2009

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We do the Santa thing because it's a lot of fun for the kids. I have fond memories of waiting for Santa as a child and don't have any feelings of devastation from discovering that my parents were actually getting us the gifts. Now, I'm reliving that magic through my children and it's even better this time around. I agree with Amie on giving the history behind it once they get to a certain age but while they still believe, I will do whatever I can to contribute to the magic of Christmas! =)

Amie - posted on 12/07/2009

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My kids still believe. Though our oldest knows the History of Santa. I've written about that in other threads. Here's the link again: http://www.northpolesantaclaus.com/santa...

In turn as my kids get older they will hear the history of Santa too. But I'll wait until they start having doubts.

Christmas is supposed to be about giving, something Santa has always represented. I don't know how anyone could keep that from their children but whatever.

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