Okay...I don't really want to post this...but I am desperate for help!

Amanda - posted on 12/08/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son will be 7 this month. He has always been happy go lucky. Loving towards me and his sisters. His bio dad was abusive to me and I ended up leaving him after my oldest daughter was born. He was in and out of my kids lifes, and I finally just quit letting him see them just to get their hopes up.

Well about 3 months ago he started seeing them again. He actually got the balls to take me to court and the flippin judge actually gave him every other weekend even AFTER hearing about his past. I was soo mad but there was nothing I could do. Listen I am ALL for fathers being in there childrens lifes but to come and go so many times is just not being a good father.

Anyways, since he's started seeing his dad again, he has turned into a completley different child. He yells, screams, slams doors, and the biggest problem is that he's obsessing and CONSTANTLY talking about private parts, and wanting to touch girls there looking at them there and wanting to kiss them. On tv, magazines books, anything and everything. I don't trust him with his sisters. I'm getting to my wits end with "Mom I think I looked at her butt", and "Mom I think I touched her private part"...DAY IN AND DAY OUT!

At first I was actually embarassed to talk about this to anyone else. My fiance is fed up and doesn't know what to do either. He can't even be around him right now because they argue and fight constantly. My son hates his sisters. He hates me, and tells me he wants to move to his dads.

Okay so I've been the one there for him, and I've been there through everything. I've tried talking to him, telling him that we only talk about that stuff in private. We don't look at that stuff and go tell everyone. That it's not okay to constantly talk about it and that there is LOTS to talk about.
That didn't work. I tried ignoring him. Nothing. I tried time outs in his room. Nothing. I tried taking privelages away. Nothing. I tried praising him for everything good he does, which now is rare. Nothing. NOTHING I do works!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm at my wits end and don't know what else to do! He's in counseling now, and his counselor says it's going to take him some time to figure out what's really going on since he's only seeing him weekly. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm failing as a mother. I don't want to feel like this but I feel like I'm going to end up having to choose my daughters safety over my son. I don't want him to live with his dad. that's giving him what he wants. But I don't want to keep him home with us when as soon as he walks in the door everyones mood changes, and you can slice the tension with a knife.

Please, if anyone has any ideas I'm open to hearing them!!! I'm already nervous for posting this but I jsut hope not to get criticized, but helped. Thanks in advance!

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/08/2010

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Have you thought about maybe taking the father to a counseling session and talking about this with him (the father) and the couseler? Beings that this behavior did not start until his father came around...it is safe to think that is where he is learning it from. Hopefully the father doesn't realize how damaging he is being and he just needs to be told???

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Jodi - posted on 12/08/2010

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Just keep doing what you're doing sweetie, don't give up! Keep up with the praise for good behavior, however rare, keep up with time outs, or loss of priveleges or any variety of discipline you choose, keep the communication lines open with your son as best you can and keep him in counseling. Perhaps if you're insurance will cover it and/or you can afford it, try to up his visits to twice weekly? Don't give up, he needs you now more than ever it seems.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/08/2010

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.....so you are in a safe place too...do not make it threatening...make sure your fiance is in the building...or car so your ex does not resort to his previous behavior with you.

Dana - posted on 12/08/2010

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I'm glad to hear he's in counseling, that's the only advice I could offer. Hopefully he's seeing a good counselor who can get to the bottom of it all, quickly! Good luck!

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