Parenting with No handbook!!

Amanda - posted on 01/03/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I've often heard that young women shouldn't have kids. My parents as well as some family members and friends have often told me what the hell was I thinking to have 4 children so close at such a young age! I have 4 beautiful kids, ages 7, 4, almost 3, and 2 next month. Yes it's rather chaotic at times, and I don't have the answers to everything. But in my opinion who does?! I mean no woman has the answers to perfect parenting anyway right?! I mean there are times when I hve to call my mom, or friends or a dr to get answers. It's difficult and there is no such thing as a perfect mom. If kids were easy than there wouldn't be so many abuse cases, or runaway kids, or deliquent ones. You can't please your child 24/7 it's near impossible! Unlike a computer, or cellphone, or tv, or video game system, or even a coffee pot, kids don't come with user manuals! Now if they did there wouldn't be so many different opinions on what works and what doesn't! I know that I probably do things that other moms wouldn't do. And I'm sure there are momsout there that do things I woudlnt' agree with. But where the heck would we be if there was a manual to go by! Where would the differences come from? I just got to thinking about how different the world would be if there was actually a handbook for parenting! Anyways what's your take on this!? Is parenting such a bad thing since there really isn't anything to go off of? Do you like hearing others opinions? Do you think you're doing the best you can for your children? WHat is your expertice level when it comes to parenting? I know I'm no expert and probablyw ill never come close to being one....but parenting comes with new challenges everyday and I absolutley love it! :)

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[deleted account]

I actually feel like I have found what I am truely best at and that is being a mum, I am by no means perfect and I make mistakes and I am always learning new things but I am really good at it (and I'm not being big headed honestly, everyone around me says I was born to do this. Some of it is due to my past experience (I have had contact with children and babies my whole life and have always been interested in helping look after them), I also studied child psychology as part of my degree at university as well which gave me a great insight into how children learn and some of it is due to me having a great support network - if you can't have family try and get friends (new friends or old friends it doesn't matter) and partly due to my instincts.



I honestly think most women are capable of being great moms, IF they want to be because at the end of the day if you don't want to be then you won't try. But I feel if you are trying and are educating yourself on new techniques and ways to parent you will be good, manuals aren't necessary because every family is different and what works for one doesn't and shouldn't work for another, so the manuals would have to be the size of a house to cover everything :-) Follow your instincts they are usually right and if more people did follow them there would be less issues.

Emma - posted on 01/07/2011

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I was never a kid person im still not a kid person except for my kids.
Everyone was shocked when i got pregnant and i got stupid comments regarding my lack of interest in baby's pre pregnancy.
And well it turns out im quite good at being a mom,
I hate unsolicited advice. when i need help i will ask for it..
I have 1 big mistake i will own and that was my rejection of a routine as im paying for that one now. my kids are about to start pre school,
Admittedly i still have no interest in other peoples kids.

[deleted account]

I have absolutely no experience with parenting. I hardly have any experience with kids in general. I've never babysat, I've never changed a diaper, I bottle-fed my little brother ONCE (and only know about that because they took a picture of me holding him) and have only held a baby twice (my little brother that one time I fed him when I was like, 7, and once at church when I was 12). I have my own opinions looking at how I was raised and turned out and how my brother was raised and has turned out (I was raised by grandparents, he by our mom) so hopefully I can find a happy medium. I don't have mom friends so I can only hope for the best and talk to my doctor and people on CoM because my mom sucks at parenting IMO and I don't know that I want to rely on my MIL for advice when she has a psychological disorder that's worse than my own...

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