Parents thinking their children are better then others by the way they look, dress, and grades.

Monique - posted on 03/20/2011 ( 37 moms have responded )

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I can't stand when a mother judge a child on how they may look or if the child makes good or bad grades, who the child's mother or father may be. What does this has to do with the type of child they are?

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Sharon - posted on 03/20/2011

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I don't judge the child. I judge the parents.

You shouldn't take your kids out in clothes so dirty they are shedding dirt, with hair matted and snarled, with dried crusty snot on their faces.

If a child isn't getting GOOD grades, as in not failing, it is more than likely the fault of the parents. You don't just turn a child loose in school. You have to keep on them and with them after school and be involved.

I don't judge the child. I judge the parents. Stop being lazy fucks and raise your kid. They don't raise themselves.

Sharon - posted on 03/20/2011

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No offense? But how loved can they be if their parents can't be moved enough to clean them or their clothes?

Meghan - posted on 03/21/2011

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I know a woman who always complains about other moms being late (yet she is NEVER on time) and other moms letting their kids run around dirty and snotty (yet her kids are always snotty and dirty)...I always say that bitching about someone else all the time is a sign of your own weaknesses or insecurities.

Jenny - posted on 03/23/2011

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"If you can't have running water and electricity... why are you having kids!!"

A few of my cousin in laws were raised in a teppee in the Yukon, their Dad was the cheif. I know several people in the Kooteneys right now in BC who do not have running water and electricity and live more full lives than we can dream of. They live with the land instead of off it and contribute far more to this planet than any of us do.

People have lived fullfilled lives long before taps and electricity were around. Don't judge them, learn from them.

Jenn - posted on 03/23/2011

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I don't know that anyone is judging the kids - except maybe other kids - but the adults would be judging the parents, not the children.

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[deleted account]

well thats quite an extreme sentence.
not judging people has nothing to do with being a perfect human....

Jenn - posted on 03/26/2011

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OK then, you're the only perfect human being who NEVER judges anyone for any reason.

[deleted account]

actually jenn...certian points i was trying to make were blown out of proportion making it seem like i was being judgmental when in reality what i was trying to say was so far from what people were assuming of me. i may have a little trouble getting across what i mean but its not being judgmental. words being twisted by others is not judging people.

Merry - posted on 03/26/2011

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I fully admitted I judged parents. I believe I said so in both of my posts. I never claimed not to judge people.

Jenn - posted on 03/26/2011

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Point being - you WERE judging them - just because it's only in your head doesn't make it untrue. And Julianne - you didn't specify that you don't judge certain things - you said you don't judge anyone. I've seen you make all kinds of judgmental statements on here. It's human nature to judge others - it's how we compare ourselves to the rest of the world.

Merry - posted on 03/26/2011

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Yeah I believe it's possible to not judge, I mean if I start judging someone in my head it usually takes only a few seconds for me to correct myself and stop it. I could imagine in a few years being able to look at everyone openly and not even start judging them based on appearances or actions.
Like Julianne said, something made them that way, babies arent born like that, they become it through their circumstances and if you get someone's full story I believe you will always come to an understanding of why and how they became like they are.

[deleted account]

you can go right ahead and say its bull...fact of the matter i could care less how someone looks or dressed. Even if someone was a horrible nasty person...something happened to them to make them that way...i don't know what that is. I don't know what happened to anyone to give them bad personality traits.People aren't born assholes. I don't know if their customs or beliefs are different and what i say is bad behavior, is actually respectable...

Caitlin - posted on 03/26/2011

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My 2 1/2 year old make it her personal mission to get as dirty as possible when I dress her nicely for an occasion.. She'll smear her food everywhere, drool on purpose to make a mess and all that. In her defense, she's 2 1/2 and she's learning. I don't like her being dirty, I do bathe her, but she loves smearing her snacks everywhere, and sometimes she just looks like pigpen no matter when I do.. I can't wait till that "I want to be clean and pretty" stage kicks in.. or maybe it's too late..

BUT in my mind she's the cutest liveliest thing i've ever seen.. I wouldn't say the smartest, but she's already recognizing about half the alphabet, which is pretty awesome in my mind, considering she's picking it up on her own...

Merry - posted on 03/26/2011

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I don't judge the kids, I judge the parents. I don't think it's ok to judge others, but I still do it even if I try not to. At least I don't tell them my thoughts!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/26/2011

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Every parent wants to think their child is the smartes, prettiest, most handsome, funniest, bravest...whatever. It is in our...how do I put it.....mother gene? I think it keeps us from seeing our own flaws within our children. People who point out other kids flaws are just very insecure IMO. I am not the perfect mom, and I can openly admit I compare my son to other kids. It is more to see if he is on the same learning level, and to make sure he is keeping up with the other kids. If a parent tells you your kids flaws, they are a fucking insecure douche bag....no wait....vinegar douche bag.

Jenny - posted on 03/25/2011

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My standards must be lower. If you can supply shelter, food, clothing and water I think that's adequate. Everything else is a bonus we are LUCKY to have in the first world.

Sarah - posted on 03/25/2011

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I think all parents have the duty and responsibility to make sure their children are clean, fed, clothed, and have shelter. However, if you aren't exactly a wealthy person, society tends to look down on you if your clothes aren't name-brand or if you don't have the latest hairstyle or the nicest house to live in. I know, I was raised in a poor family. It wasn't fun being the brunt of everyone's jokes growing up. I was clean, fed, and clothed, but it just wasn't up to the middle-classed society's standard's. Who are we to judge someone on their appearance? You cannot change anyone anyway, so why get on this site and complain? All you can do is raise your children the way you think is right and don't worry about what others think. If you are doing everything necessary to care for your kids, then there is no reason others should be so harsh, just b/c they think they are better. I agree that if you cannot keep a decent home (meaning, adequate shelter), running water, electricity-or candles, lanterns,etc, clothes, and food then you really shouldn't have children until you are able to provide for them. But that also gets hard to do if you are so poor that you cannot get the health insurance to get on BC ...so anyways, my point is, stop being so freaking harsh and judgmental and start having compassion and love for others! How about being adults for once!

[deleted account]

I judge kids on their personality, & behavior. Cleanliness, is a a must when around my kids. Their grades? Really? I have never had the opportunity to see other kids grades but I would judge the parents by those grades.

Brandi - posted on 03/23/2011

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I totally agree with Sharon Gray's 1st comment.

It is not the child's fault, they don't know any different. BUT, the parent does. So, yes, I judge the parents and I feel sorry for the child.

Monique - posted on 03/22/2011

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I just think there is different walks of life and different situations as for being a parent myself i couldn't imagine my children living like that. My main concern is why are the children being judged for the way someone taught them to be? That's what I feel isn't fair.

Desiree - posted on 03/21/2011

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Emma I'd like to see you tell that to people who live in the squater camps and rural Africa. Just because you don't have running water and electricity does't mean that you are not clean. Some of these people are more clean than those who live in the cities and in the greatest houses. If you teach a child to be clean then he will be clean. Clean does not always mean a wash, you can be the cleanest person on the outside and the dirtiest person on the inside.

Stifler's - posted on 03/21/2011

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If you can't have running water and electricity... why are you having kids!!

Jenn - posted on 03/21/2011

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Where was I telling you how to care for your children Ashley? *shakes head*

Jenn - posted on 03/21/2011

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April, unless you live in an area that requires you to have a well and a pump, the electricity turning off doesn't mean you don't have water. And if you are so poor that you have no electricity or running water, there's always a public bathroom or a friend's house or the school bathroom or somewhere to have a quick wash so that you don't look like Pigpen from Charlie Brown. There are people who live on the street or in a car who look cleaner than some people who have the privilege of having a roof over their head and running water.

Sharon - posted on 03/21/2011

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Ashley, you are far more generous than I. Around here mudbogging, motocross, long distance horse trekking are popular and I frequently see those dirt, dust & mud encrusted people stopping off for necessities. I can still see the difference between them and the family with a baby in a stroller so crusty I wanted to vomit. Followed by 3 kids who... well, it made my heart break. I had to send an employee on break after she stopped to pick up a toy the baby had dropped. Between the stench and grime she lost it. She wanted me to do something about it but that was beyond my scope... WAY beyond my scope.

People who grew up in filth KNOW BETTER. They just don't see a reason to change because no one challenges it. They figure they're still alive with a roof over their head despite flunking out in the 6th grade so its ok for their kids too. They KNOW better, they just don't care. If we were all less accepting of these minor crimes, maybe people would make the effort to change.

Although I did once work with a woman who claimed her religion forbade her to bathe.... omg... there wasn't enough perfume in the world....

April - posted on 03/21/2011

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Knowing how to wash doesn't mean you have water at home or access to water elsewhere. Some of the families I've worked with have been so poor that their electricity would be turned off sometimes!

Jenn - posted on 03/21/2011

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Ashley - I don't care how rich or poor, or how intelligent or dull you may be, everyone knows how to wash and that it's something that needs to be done. If you don't have the basic knowledge of personal hygiene, then maybe you shouldn't have kids.

Desiree - posted on 03/21/2011

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Our children are a reflection of who we are at home. If we give them everything and they are not taught to look after themselves and become increadibly spoilt. Sometimes the old values are not bad at all.

Monique - posted on 03/20/2011

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@ Sharon Grey I don't understand these parents as for me being a parent I love my children so much and what they do, what they look like, how they look, their education, everything about my children is important to me. I just couldn't imagine it at all.

Stifler's - posted on 03/20/2011

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I agree with Sharon. People who a gross aren't good parents. Being gross and lazy is not a parenting style.

Monique - posted on 03/20/2011

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@ Ashley Middleton lol you're right I would like to say it would be too expensive.

[deleted account]

Its sad that adults feel the need to treat children in that manner.Passing judgement is wrong especially about children..if they had to pay to talk the wouldn't be doing much of it.lol.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 03/20/2011

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Nothing at all…to me anyway, but we live around many people who feel there child is better by those standards.

Its not true at all, so of the most lonely, sad, depressed, alienated children are well dressed, straight A students…ect

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