Personal attacks

[deleted account] ( 93 moms have responded )

From me? Anyone got any.... that I haven't said in a brief heat of the moment and come right back and apologized for.

Please.... link me here. ;)

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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I actually think that sometimes, in this group, it is a matter of getting to know one another's styles.

Put your hand up if Sharon Grey has offended you in the past because she's the straightest shooter I know. I'm betting every single person here would put their hand up....until you get to know her (sorry Sharon, but I know you will forgive me for using you as an example - has Sharon EVER actually flagged someone else's post???).

I think that the better we get to know each other, the easier it is to determine the mood of the post based on how it is worded.

And then there are some people, no matter how hard we try, who are ALWAYS going to rub us up the wrong way.....and that's when things really go to shit.... :P Well, maybe not totally, but there are always going to be people that are our absolute polar opposites that we struggle to deal with.

But then, that's what makes this such a great debating community - the fact that we DON'T all agree all the time, and that we DO have different parenting philosophies.

[deleted account]

Jodi- Just want you to know that I wasn't talking about any issues we've had in what I just posted. I thought we had moved past that.



Edit To Add:

What I was talking about is that I made a comment that I feel like a single mother right now bc my husband is working so much atm and I was attacked for it. And no matter how much I tried to explain that I wasn't slighting the struggles of some single mothers and meant no harm, they just wouldn't accept it.

[deleted account]

I've had probs with being personally attacked by people who took my post way, way far out of context and no matter how much I explained to try to diffuse the situation, these people were hell bent on tearing me apart. There was no debate to it, it was just 2 people saying awful things to me. I still don't get it.

Then there was a time when I gave my opinion on a post which was taken as a personal insult, although I didn't mean it that way. I will be the first to say that sometimes my delivery sucks. I could word things differently sometimes. I am not good with words, that's why I end up explaining, re-explaining and over-explaining when I offend people. If people here knew me in real life they'd know that I wouldn't hurt a flea.

Rosie - posted on 05/19/2011

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johnny she was directly called dumb 3 times in a post yesterday. i totally agree that she was personally attacked in that thread.

Tah - posted on 05/21/2011

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Some people do choose to be offended...some choose to act like they don't know they were offensive or have attacked someone...but more often then not,they know.

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Mel - posted on 05/21/2011

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I agree with you Krista about the spelling thing I try to check more so then I used to now but still get letters around the wrong way alot since I type quick, but someone corrected my spelling in a really rude way once of something I genuinly didnt know I had spelt wrong. Relaly pissed me off but I ignored it. Some people are really self righteous

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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I can't use text talk - I have to think too hard about it, where I don't have to think with the real words....:P

Johnny - posted on 05/20/2011

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@ Marina, I've never noticed ever that your spelling or grammar is bad. Must have a good spell checker ;-)

@ random American from other communities, No you are NOT the centre (spelled CORRECTLY) of the universe.

And finally an apology to everyone for all the random periods in my posts. If you see them it means I've been posting from my phone where the keyboard is small, the period is right next to the space key and doesn't flash and it is really hard to edit.

And finally, now that I' ve been posting from my phone for a while I know that anyone who claims that they use text talk is a lame twit because it isn't any easier than writing properly.

Rant over.

Vegemite - posted on 05/20/2011

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No Teresa I've never seen you being offensive.

MARINA"...my work criticized, told I was uneducated about things that I am...the list goes on. When you debate topics with people you do not know, it is bound to happen."
Sorry Marina. *Insert sheepish look

Sometimes I think it's a choice to be offended. We can have something said that we don't like and chose to deal with it like an adult or chose to get offended and take things personally.

Krista - posted on 05/20/2011

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Jodi's got a good point. I've seen a lot of U.S.-based COM members correcting Brits and Canadians on their spelling, not realizing that a) COM is an international site and not everybody here is American and/or b) that Brits and Canadians do spell some words differently.

Personally, I think it's pretty petty to correct people on their spelling. If someone is just about indecipherable, however, I'll point out to them that they'll get better responses if people can understand what they've written.

Or, if someone keeps misspelling or misusing the same word over and over and over, I might gently point it out to them, as it's obviously not a typo or an error, but a case of genuinely not knowing the word or its spelling. And if I was continually misspelling or misusing a word, I would hope that someone would gently set me straight so that I don't make that same mistake in a public setting, where it actually DOES matter.

Tah - posted on 05/20/2011

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who cares how something is spelled, are we defending a thesis around here. Sometimes im on my ipad and it always thinks it knows better than I what i am trying to say and i dont realize the word is wrong until 2 days later when i go back to that thread..or im running out the door and typing, or i have rylan trying to jump on my lap, or my dog doing the same....if i wanted someone to correct my spelling id take all my English classes again...and btw, i have seen the worse and most non-sensical arguments and comments made with perfect spelling...so does it really matter???...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2011

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It still shouldn't matter period. Sometimes I am holding my daughter, or chasing her around trying to get a thought out, or on my phone and it is very difficult to type on it. It really doesn't matter what the reason is. It happens, and people should not be judged on typing skills, grammar, or spelling. Just don't leave the caps on all the time. Hard to read.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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Right now, I have a strapping on my hand because I have a thumb strain, so my typing is slow and awful. I am seeing my doctor about it next week, but I suspect it is an ROS of some sort. But in the mentime, my typing isn't perfect.

But there IS the issue of different spelling in different countries. It is a minor thing IMO. I think it sometimes shows a LOT of ignorance to start correcting minor erros, or spelling differences (color vs. colour, favor vs. favour....my point). There is European spelling and American spelling. End of story. Get the fuck over it.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2011

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It does not make me unintelligent because I suck at spelling, nor does it tell you anything about my personality, or who I am.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2011

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See, that is a personal attack. No need to be rude like that about spelling. I am a terrible speller. I don't care.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2011

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I really HATE went people correct spelling and grammar. It is so completely ridiculous when people get bent out of shape when others spell something wrong, or are not grammatically correct. THAT gets MY panties in a bunch.

I don't care how you spell things, as long as I can tell what the fuck you are trying to say.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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Oh, she just pulled me up on my spelling. It wasn't in this community. She had also told me I graduated from the idiot academy. Totally hilarious.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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Is it wrong of me to have just said this to someone who tried to correct my spelling?:

"Oh, and just for the record...

Where I come from the word is *judgemental*. That IS the correct spelling. We are not all from the US where you practice barstardised English."

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2011

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Yeah, she was a looney! I am glad her community went down, and she got the boot!

I will totally defend a friend, or protect the one getting attacked (friend or not) It is hard to see that we may be ganging up on someone in a heated debate. When there are 2 very differing opinions, it is easy to lose sight of how we are all acting.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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I remember her Marina, she was a total nut, and her community ended up deleted and so did she, because the community was specifically to violate THUMPS.

I rarely flag posts either, but having said that, I did flag some today - not in this community though. There's a big difference between attacking an argument and attacking a person.

I don't get offended by much - but ladies, thats does NOT give you permission for anything :P

Mabel - posted on 05/20/2011

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I remember her and yes I flagged her too.Oh she had some nerve didn't she? Calling me a bitch has never hurt my feelings but if you go after a friend or family thats when I will be up your A@# in a second and you won't like the pain...=)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2011

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I think I can count how many posts I have flagged.....there was this one girl on here a couple of months ago that actually started her own community to prove a point. She called Joy a bitch...that pissed me right off....I flagged her ass for that. I think I have flagged 3 posts total, and it was on someone else behalf...oops 4 times....one time because someone called me a bitch...I was sick of it. I am more likely to flag a post that I see someone else being attacked rather than myself.

Jenni - posted on 05/20/2011

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I wish she posted more. I think her posts are my favourite to read out of anyone's on DM. Even when I don't always agree with them... still a riot!

Amanda - posted on 05/20/2011

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Sharon and I don't always see eye to eye on topics, but she has never offended me, actually she makes me laugh a lot even when shes disagree'ing with me LOL

Jenni - posted on 05/20/2011

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heheh I think she did, but I also laughed my ass off at the same time. Never flagged any of her posts. Come to think of it the only posts I've ever flagged were solicitations, spam and possible perverts. I'm not easily offended.

Jenni - posted on 05/20/2011

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If I'm not sure how someone might take one of my jokes or take it seriously. I make sure to include a good ol' "lol" or a "j/k" although sometimes that kind of ruins the joke. :/

Amanda - posted on 05/20/2011

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The problem with text based chat, you cant show scarasim very well, passive aggressive behaviour is hard to read (my biggest pet peeve in the world is passive aggressive behaviour). What I might find funny someone else might find as a personal insult because you cant hear me laughing after it. Also its hard to hear someones tone of voice when reading text. :0)

And no I have never felt insulted or offended by you Teresa.

Bonnie - posted on 05/19/2011

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I don't think i've ever witnessed you attacking anyone Teresa. You always seem calm to me and make sense in relation to the topic.

[deleted account]

I know what you mean. I edited my post, in case you didn't see, and there is an example of that. It's really a bad feeling when you are sincerely trying to make things right and the other person / people would rather instigate a fight than accept that you didn't mean any harm.

Jodi - posted on 05/19/2011

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I've been around here a long time Stephanie. A lot of people do it and have done it - I've seen it a lot. I was generalising. I just wish people wouldn't take it all so personally, and when someone apologises, leave it at that instead of continuing to beat up on it.

Jodi - posted on 05/19/2011

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And Teresa, I have NEVER seen you attack anyone. I have seen you question opinions and facts, and disagree with viewpoints sometimes (very respectfully), but I haven't ever seen you personally attack anyone at all.

Jodi - posted on 05/19/2011

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I really hate it when you realise that you MAY have been wrong in interpreting something someone said, and you apologise for it once it has been pointed out to you, and yet that person decides to attack you, rejects your apology and then cries a river playing the victim.

[deleted account]

Oh and Teresa I haven't been here very long, only 5 minutes or so, and find you to be very eloquent with your posts and never attacking anyone.

[deleted account]

I called someone a braggart. I got really pissed off at some immature nincompoop bragging about how easy it was for her to raise twins and how she could not understand why people need to vent from time to time because of the stress of it all. i just couldn't hold back any longer. I didn't feel I was totally out of line but got a pm from the admin. Oh well...

[deleted account]

Ok I've received 2 'helpful' ratings...does this mean it's helpful to know that I'm not a vicious bitch? ; )

Sneaky - posted on 05/19/2011

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Is accusing someone of making personal attacks a personal attack? Particularly when they don't . . . .

Mabel - posted on 05/19/2011

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Haha j/k no I am glad we can get on COM and joke around like this.I don't think there has ever been a Really offensive attack against me that I know of.

I am just picking at you Marina..=)

Mabel - posted on 05/19/2011

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haha I can tell the truth and say YES you are Marina !!!! You is the shit woman!!! =)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/19/2011

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The truth is, I am the meanest unkind bitch that you are saying ;P

Mabel - posted on 05/19/2011

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Yeah I agree .I mean we all get our nickers in a not some times and I admit half the time I am right in the middle of it.SORRY! =( But we get to be such good friends on here that we learn not to take each other so seriously when in a debate ,,,,now there are times when a new person can come in and really believe we are the meanest and most unkind bitches in the world but we know the truth..=)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/19/2011

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I read this all wrong...Teresa, I thought you were asking about if anyone has made personal attacks, or received them. I don't think that I have ever seen you give a personal attack. I have seen you get heated about a subject that is very dear to you (like religion) but I haven't seen you attack anyone from my memory. We all get heated at times.

Jenni - posted on 05/19/2011

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Mmmmm I love me some good 'ol passive aggressiveness. Very delectable in a debate.

I take mine with a little chardonney.

Krista - posted on 05/19/2011

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I don't doubt for a second that I've been guilty of dishing out some personal attacks. In some heated debates, it's hard to keep one's cool.

And yeah, the passive-aggressive "I'll pray for you" always cracks me up, because you KNOW that they really mean "I'll pray for you to come around to my way of thinking, you ignorant, godless heathen!"

Jenni - posted on 05/19/2011

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Oops, I forgot to answer the OP. No, Teresa I've never seen you personally attack anyone.
and no thanks, I won't bite you. I prefer wild game.

Johnny - posted on 05/19/2011

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I'm sure that all that heat in hell might help me get rid of my pasty white skin.

It's funny. Over the years so many people have told me they'd pray for my soul, and yet I'm still the same godless heathen.....

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