Personal family debate.. Harsh subject

Jessica - posted on 02/20/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )




Hi Guys,

This is a rather personal subject but id really like to know what you think on this.

My Mother is 47 and has severe brain damage that has worsened over the years The seizures she has had over the years have really done a number on her. My mother found really old medical records in my grandmothers belongings that stated my grandmother tried to self inflict abprtion with a coat hanger :( (remember this was almost 50 yrs ago) Obviously it was unseccesful but had caused harm to the fetus- pre term labour and such. My mother has never been able to work and has had difficulty maintining finincial assistance her entire life... When my mother had me she gave me up because she was unable to care for a new born obviously.

Do you think that that was the reason she has mental issues .. does my mother have the right to sue my grandmother? This is a very harsh subject I know but i dont knowwho to ask...


JuLeah - posted on 02/20/2011




You have to be from America ... we are all on the sue wagon here. What good would come from your mother taking this action? Is your mother in a place that she can, mentally and physically, handle the stress of such a thing?Does your grandmother even have money? I guess I just don't see how this action would make the world a better place, make your family stronger, improve your mother's health .... 9 times out of 90, no one wins in a court of law but the attorneys.

Louise - posted on 02/21/2011




I think this is best left alone. Your grandmother must be in her late sixties or older I don't think you will find a judge that will put her on the stand. I think your mothers problems stem from the abused life she has had, terrible to think that this goes on but it does. The best why to help your mother now is to find a charity or support group that deals with mental health daily and can find someone who can councel and support her.


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Jenni - posted on 02/21/2011




I would suspect the trama she endured could have had an affect on her mental issues. But I think you'd be hard-pressed to prove that it was indeed the cause.
My brother was abused and now suffers from skitzophrenia. So I can understand how hard this must be for you and your family. I'd never beable to prove he developed a mental illness from his tramatic child hood, but I definitely suspect it had something to do with it.

Tara - posted on 02/21/2011




I doubt she would even be able to take it to trial. Unless you grandmother tried to abort her in the last trimester than I can't see it being allowed to go to court.
I feel awful for your mother, but she would have more luck taking them to court for the abuse she suffered than a botched abortion.
I agree with the others though, it isn't going to change your mother's outcome now.
And can she really handle the stress of a trial?

Katherine - posted on 02/20/2011




What a difficult thing to find out. She could go and see a neurologist and see what kind of damage she has. I can't see there being any repercussions though.
I would definitely talk to her about it....ask her if it's true.
The beatings could have brought on the seizures and problems too though.
You could TRY to pursue it, it can't hurt.

Sal - posted on 02/20/2011




this is a very hard place to be in, think of what good would come from any action verses what harm and stress it would cause, are there any other siblings? if there are no other siblings she is likey to get her mothers estate so there is no real point, if there is nothing in the estate why sue, there is nothing to get, i really feel that life isn;t about the pastt but about the future, look forward, if there was no reason for the brain damage, just plain bad luck she would have to just get on with life so i would think of it that way, i can't imagine anyone would try and sef abort without real reason so i feel for your nan too,

Stifler's - posted on 02/20/2011




I think this is awful and I wish she could sue and be successful but the likelihood of winning is not very high.

[deleted account]

I think that whether or not she has a chance to sue (since I'll admit that I have no clue about the laws on that)...... the difficulty, length, stress, etc.... of the lawsuit would be more trouble that it would be worth. I'm so sorry for all that your mom has gone through and is continuing to go through. :(

Jessica - posted on 02/20/2011




Thanks a lot.. yes i just recently learned this and i am in complete shock.. not only that, She went through life being sexually abused and beat by her parents... FYI i am not at all involved in there lives, however MOTHER TO MOTHER.. my god how could this have happened :(

Sharon - posted on 02/20/2011




Nope. She doesn't.

I feel horribly for your mom. How awful to know she birthed & raised by a woman who didn't want her so much she tried to self abort.

[deleted account]

Wow....that is difficult. It could very well be the reason she has mental issues, or it could be totally unrelated. If she were to sue your grandmother, she would have to be able to prove in court that her mental disabilities are a direct result of the botched abortion. Even if she could prove that, it would be difficult to determine if she could press charges against someone for harming her before she was a sustainable life form and thus entitled to rights. As the law is now, if the abortion was attempted before you mother was 28 weeks, she was not yet considered a "life" and thus had no right to protection at the time of the "attack".

If you can prove the mental issues are a direct result of the attempted abortion, I could see the other side of the debate going as far as the Supreme Court and having a major impact on the abortion debates.

Iridescent - posted on 02/20/2011




Since law varies so much, you really need to speak with a lawyer to determine that. a lot would depend on if you can prove that the journal was written by your Grandmother, and also if you can prove it was based on facts (she could play it off as a story). Next would be if the cause of the preterm labor can be definitively linked to the health problems your mother suffers from AND from the attempted home abortion.

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