Persuaded to change your mind?

[deleted account] ( 182 moms have responded )

Obviously some of you will know why this came to mind.

Since joining CoMs, have you ever been willing to admit you were wrong or changed your mind about certain topics or aspects of certain topics as a result of a convincing argument? Which topics do you feel passionately about and are not willing to budge? OR, for arguement sake, do you choose not to admit defeat?

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Sharon - posted on 11/21/2010

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No offense Marina... I have zero respect for those who don't speak up when their opinion differs. Especially when a member of their their team is taking a hit. At the least speak up. "I'm with Marina." and never post again if you're afraid of being beat up online. I'm frequently in a rush and post my opinion and POOF I'm off to soccer games & work. When I feel strongly about something I make an effort to get back and post a more extensive opinion/argument.

If you can't tell your opinion to an anonymous group of women, then you aren't doing it in real life either.

Jodi - posted on 12/01/2010

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I think you will find, Leah, that most people don't say abortion is "ok". You are interpreting pro-choice for thinking abortion is ok. They are two totally different concepts.

But anyway, this wasn't the thread for debating that......

Serena - posted on 11/21/2010

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I agree it can feel like "mob mentality" sometimes, especially when you are the only opposing one. But the way I see it is not so much ganging up but the fact that everyone has their opinion when there is only one person to debate it with, everyone debates it with the one person. (I know what I am trying to say, just can't get the words out right) But I have learned from another mom chatsite that its just their opinions. I let something once said about me on a site like this bother me for over a year wondering why she would have the nerve to say that but one day finally realized that it doesn't matter. I agree that sometimes you have to be thick skinned and realize that this is just a debate forum. Thats the beauty of it, we can turn off our computers and forget about it (or at least we should be able to).
But as for the question at hand, I don't think I have changed my mind so much as learned different perspectives on subjects. But the most important thing I have learned since being on here is how many different ways to spell the same word. I actually think some of the other spellings are prettier like behavior vs behaviour (so much prettier)...

Isobel - posted on 12/04/2010

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oh, and Leah, telling people they are wrong and why is the very definition of debating...if you don't like it you need to stick to groups where everybody agrees...I'm pretty sure Christian Mommies bans all disagreement...go there.

182 Comments

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Rosie - posted on 12/04/2010

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at least i'm pretty consistant with pro-killing and mutilating babies!! lol! sorry, couldn't resist!

Stifler's - posted on 12/04/2010

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I've changed my stance on spanking a fair bit. I used to be one of those people who was like JUST SPANK YOUR DAMN KID THEY'RE WALKING ALL OVER YOU... maybe because my kid isn't old enough for discipline yet. I still may spank my kid in the future but I'd be more inclined to do a time out and other stuff first.

Nikki - posted on 12/02/2010

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I am pretty stubborn on some subjects. I am pro-spanking but do not use it as a sole means of discipline. I think to each his own. I am pro-life and not afraid to admit it, I am a traditionalist. I think a husband should support his family financially and a mother's place should be in the home, raising the children, IF it is financially possible. I was raised by a single mom who worked her butt off and still took care of everything at home.

I will always have an opinion but am willing to listen to other sides if they are rational.

[deleted account]

I love the way Carol put that, more people need to pay attention to both sides of the debate and be willing to learn because sometimes admitting that we were wrong in doing/ thinking something is the only way to grow as a person. I am not afraid to say I was wrong or actually I never considered that.

Also disagreeing with someone and believing you're right is not rude it is a fact of debate, if you don't think you're right why would you debate your side? So even if it goes unsaid when I debate with you I am right and you're wrong obviously duh...(jokes)

Johnny - posted on 12/02/2010

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Are you addressing your comment to me??? I did not mention the abortion issue anywhere in my post. I am extremely confused.

[deleted account]

@ Leah I don't get it...it's ok to mutilate a baby but not to kill one? pro-choice is far different...and would that be a hint of you judging me for what i did cos any pro-lifer could see that my daughter would of had no life either way

Charlie - posted on 12/02/2010

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Oh weapons as toys I was so against it but I really want to get Cooper a cutlass to go with his pirate gear .

[deleted account]

*shaking head*
Abortion is wrong but Circumcision is ok?
Cool glad i get that now.

Carol i really like the way you said that.

Nikki - posted on 12/02/2010

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Leah what's the point of a debate if you are not trying to persuade the other side??

Any way, I have been thinking about this thread over the past couple of days because I have realised I have changed my views on a few things. The rear facing car seat thing (didn't really change my mind, I just didn't know about it before being from Aus) Sex before marriage, I thought it was downright old fashioned and a little strange in this day and age, I no longer feel that way, I can see it's merits for those who choose that lifestyle. There was another one, but I can't remember it right now......

[deleted account]

So what you're TRYING to say, Carol, is....grab some self awareness and hold on tight because it will most likely be a rough ride!

Johnny - posted on 12/01/2010

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I am really impressed by the number of women on this thread who have actually changed their minds about issues. I think that we often don't really weigh all of the possible information about issues we are dealing with, and sometimes, when given the chance, we are able to see that our pre-conceived notions were a bit off track. Obviously, those things may be few and far between, but I think if you are a person who is unable to consider new information and different perspectives on anything, it is time to sit down and take a good look in the mirror.

Kudos to everyone who has opened their minds & hearts to new ideas!

Leah - posted on 12/01/2010

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People TRY persuading me to change my mind that circumcision is wrong and abortion is okay. Really killing an innocent baby is alright!? I guess everyone has their own opinions. There will never be defeats in debates,people will always be debating and arguing their opinion. My opinion on certain subjects will NEVER change no matter how much information or others opinions on the subjects I have. That's just the way it is. I don't want to change anyones opinions and I don't really care to. I only wish they would calmly listen to my side before they start telling me that my opinion is idiotic.



I listen to their side but I don't agree with it doesn't mean they need to tell me I'm wrong and their right,that's rather rude.

[deleted account]

The only thing I can say has actually changed is my view on is spanking. And it hasn't completely changed but I am more willing to find other options first. For most topics I'm pretty open minded though.
Breastfeeding is one that I won't budge on. It's a personal choice but I don't think it should be done past a reasonable age (that age will vary in different cultures). I will always be pro choice.

Hannah - posted on 11/30/2010

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I have been on here for awhile with my third handle. I can't seem to keep one straight.

What I have learned most is to be more tolerable. I see every viewpoint and honor it and respect it. I have never had very strong opinions on anything but this place has taught me to be passionate and to hold firm.

It has been great!

Dana - posted on 11/30/2010

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That's awesome Laci! I don't recall seeing you post about it but, if you worried enough to post about it then it must be a huge relief to you that he's talking now. It's always nice to get that weight/worry off your shoulders and resolved. :D

LaCi - posted on 11/30/2010

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I'm becoming less and less pro spanking.

On another note though, I should say thank you to everyone who told me to chill out when I was freaking out about my kid not talking. His vocabulary has exploded over the last week (bout time!) but I'm glad I just waited for him to do it on his own rather than taking him to specialists and therapists. So, thanks for calming me down, whichever group it was on.

[deleted account]

the only time i change my mind is when my paed presents the facts...im passionate about women who bottle feed, i tried breast feeding and my son wasn't putting weight on and i absolutely hate it when the breast is best brigade comes around with their awful demeaning facts about how im harming my baby.



Edit: I might also add as a side note I was a passionate pro-lifer before i fell pregnant with a baby that had down's syndrome i knew i did not have the financial support nor the emotional support or maturity to be able to look after her, nor did i think i could go through with adoption (as my doctor pointed out she would of more than likely spent the first 18 years of her life being shuffled from home to home as no one really adopts "sick" babies) and ended up aborting her. It hurt like hell both physically and emotionally and not a day goes by where i don't regret doing it either being with me or adopted she would not of had a good life and i felt and still feel that i made the best decision for both of us. I'd never ever get another abortion again but i better understand the circumstances in which some people get abortions under and i would say now im a passionate pro-choicer

Krista - posted on 11/27/2010

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@Laura: we need to find that abortion stance continuum that I posted awhile back...I wish it would catch on, because pro-choice and pro-life are such simplistic categories, and people have such a broad variety of thoughts on this matter.

Isobel - posted on 11/27/2010

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Most people fall in the gray area in between...they just WANT to identify with a certain side...doesn't change the proper definition :)

[deleted account]

THANK YOU, LAURA! That is EXACTLY what I've been saying forever about the pro-choice vs. pro-life. Everyone always argues with me though...

[deleted account]

Passionate about getting YOUR children off bottles by 12 months, or are you insisting that ALL children should? For your children, fine, but you are actually passionate about other people toddlers and their bottle routine?

Isobel - posted on 11/27/2010

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If you don't believe that abortion should be made illegal, then no matter how much you hate the term, you are pro-choice.

Tah - posted on 11/27/2010

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Nope...i still beleive in God and the bible, still feel the same about breatsfeeding..like..not doing it until the kids are 15....etc. I will say that i have learned alot because some of the labels you ladies have had never even heard of addressed in that manner..like attached parenting...i guess we just called it being overbearing..lol... I do learn, I get a clear view of why people think and feel certain ways, i can see why they would, but i haven't changed my views on anything

Dana - posted on 11/27/2010

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Getting a baby off the bottle by 12 months is something you're passionate about? Very odd one there Sherri! :)

April - posted on 11/24/2010

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that reminds me...before COM i didn't believe in bedsharing. i am now armed with research on how good it is and safe it is when practiced correctly

A - posted on 11/23/2010

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I am willing to admit my parenting mistakes. Just to give an example- I used to let my son cry it out in an attempt to get him to STTN. It was a mistake and I admit it and I have changed my behavior and now cosleep.

I also made another mistake in the past. I listened to some well-meaning people and started putting my son on a feeding schedule instead of feeding on demand. The day my son was able to point and communicate he wanted to eat, he stopped sucking his thumb immediately. So I realized that I should have fed my son on demand and offered the breast more.

I will not budge on the importance of breastfeeding. I am a fan of attached parenting now. I think its very important.

April - posted on 11/23/2010

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I just changed my mind completely on the circ'd debate! i've been "on the fence" about circ'd any future boys and now I am certain I will never do it again.

Stifler's - posted on 11/23/2010

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I agree with Amanda, I just learned new things and had an ignorant or intolerant opinion before. I agree with April's stance on abortion but I'm all for it (or just taking the morning after pill) in the case of rape.

April - posted on 11/23/2010

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omg...I've learned so many new things on COM! i def have learned to see things how other people may and sometimes end up agreeing with them after all.

@Marina...i guess pro-life with a few exceptions and pro choice with a few exceptions are really the same thing. So..I think we are both right. Maybe there should be another name for people who don't think abortion should be illegal, but believe in limited choice

[deleted account]

I have to say I'm very close to April's stance on abortion, so I may not be what you consider "pro-choice" after all, Marina.

For me, once a woman decides to begin a pregnancy, she has made her choice about what she wishes to do with her body. I DO, however, feel abortion needs to be legal because I do not want to see women who are that careless become parents. Sometimes the babies life just isn't worth the burden it will be on society and the baby is better off dead than in the mother's arms.
That is what I have taken from the debates on here.
I used to think that life was very important no matter who it belonged to, but now I realize that most people do not value the life of a new baby enough to care for it when the mother doesn't, and while I do not know if I believe in God, the baby is in less pain dead than in the arms of someone who didn't want it, and society is better off not having to find someone to care for it.

Charlie - posted on 11/22/2010

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I just remembered one i have changed my mind on .

Leashes ! I was firmly in the " your child is not a dog" camp but now i really couldn't care less LOL.

Charlie - posted on 11/22/2010

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Marina she says she doesn't support it after 8 weeks not that it should be illegal , lots of pro choice people are not comfortable with abortion but understand there needs to be a choice to abort for the reasons April has given , As far as Im concerned she is pro choice .

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/22/2010

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@ April....it does not sound like you we pro-choice to me at all. That is fine to be pro-life with few exceptions...but to say you are pro-choice....but only if it is medical, or after rape...but only if the fetus is 8 weeks or under sure sounds pro life to me.



Pro choice is giving a women a choice what she wants to do concerning her pregnancy regardless of convenience or circumstances. I just needed to express that. I am not debating this, I just think you may be confused about your stance....hell...it is a hard issue!

April - posted on 11/22/2010

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i changed my mind on circumcision. I used to think it wasn't a big deal because my husband is and our fathers are and so on. Now that I have a son, I have regrets.



I won't back down on "extended breastfeeding" or natural duration breastfeeding. I'm extremely passionate about that one.



abortion: i am pro choice but would never have an abortion and would NEVER suggest one to anyone. The fetus starts to feel pain around 8 weeks...I am extremely uncomfortable when i learn of an abortion that occurred after that.



I really don't support choice after 8 weeks and I won't be changing my mind on that unless the mother has some medical condition in which an abortion would save her life. as for rape, i have such a hard time feeling comfortable with an abortion occuring for a reason other than medical/life saving

[deleted account]

Yes, on some issues. I'm happy to admit that I've changed my mind on some things to do with parenting and politics when I've been presented with the other side of the argument.



I might not have admitted to it in a thread, but I have made slight changes to my opinions in sbsequent threads on similar issues.



The religious debates have helped me to examine some of my beliefs, but they have not changed. If anything the examination has caused me to read my bible more and affirm them.

[deleted account]

@ Jackie-Rae : Agnostics basically say, "I cannot know whether a deity exists or not, and neither can you." An athiest doesn't believe in the existence of any god or entity.

Ez - posted on 11/22/2010

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It's ok Kate, I'll back you on the epidural argument. I think they're dumb too ;)

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