Polygamy

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Jaime - posted on 09/14/2009

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Monogamy and polygamy are both socially constructed. There is nothing natural about either one. It is societal ideals that credit 'monogamy' as being the norm...but what is 'natural' is subjective to each individual person that exists on this planet. There really isn't anything right or wrong about being monogamous or polygamous but the social hierarchies that have influenced society's views about marriage and relationships have dismissed the continuum of acceptable vs. unacceptable--and the widening gray area. The elite theory is that, only what is deemed normal, acceptable and economically sound will be tolerated as a moral base for which people will construct their lives around. Being monogamous, meaning that (for the most part) two people meet, date, wed and mate is a term that is slowly being replaced by "freedom of expression" and a break away from the crushing ideals of socialism. It would be easier if the world didn't operate on a labeling system all the time because then monogamy and polygamy would cease to have any bearing on the core values that we define our lives with. If everyone decided for themselves what was appropriate for their own lives, there would be no need to determine the legality of such personal practices.

Johnny - posted on 09/18/2009

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Just because many Mormons in the mainstream LDS church do not consider FLDS members to be Mormon does not mean that they are not still Mormon. It is merely the opinion of some members of the LDS. Some of my Mormon friends will insist the FLDS nut jobs are totally not at all Mormons, but most people I know admit that while they are not currently the same, they share a history, a holy book, and much similarity in doctrine. I would compare it to Catholicism in some ways. There are those who strictly follow the Pope's teachings and would state that those Catholics who are pro-choice or pro-gay rights are not Catholics. Some even believe that someone who is divorced is not a real Catholic. Many religious groups have spliter or sub-groups. If they agreed on everything, there would not have been a split. But that doesn't mean that they don't have a shared faith and history.

Rachel - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Amie:


I'm not a Mormon, Are you? No? Ok, well here's what I learned while I was doing Bible study with elders in the Mormon faith when I was on a journey to discover other beliefs.. The FLDS are mormons. They are the mormons who did not want to go along with the churches decision to ban polygamy. So they broke off and started their own church. They are the extremists who still follow the old mormon bible. Mormons now a days have a new bible, are devout in their faith and do not practice polygamy because they chose to follow the laws put in place by the government. In the (old) Mormon Bible it states that God told them to practice polygamy. To populate the earth with more believers. Translation: men go marry many women and have lots of kids and raise them in the mormon faith. Today they just send out missionaries all over the world to try and convert people. So while they practice the same "faith" there are the extremists (FLDS) and the regulars. Just like any religion really.




Well as I may not be a member of the LDS church my fiance' was raised LDS and literally ALLLL my in-laws are LDS including his grandpa who was president of the Jordan River Temple and a member of the Quorum of the 70. So I think my knowledge in the subject is a little overwhelming. The FLDS are not considered "Mormon."  We don't consider muslims extremists the same as an everyday muslim just because they worship the Koran (not sure is that spelling is right or not). And sorry to burst your bubble but there has only ever been really one book of Mormon (its not called the mormon bible either). The only changes from the "old" book to the "new" book is that it was broken into chapters and versus. You can still go buy the "old" book of Mormon at Deseret book actually.  No where in the book of Mormon does it state that they should practice polygamy either. The only real mention of polygamy is when Nephis brother Jacob is preaching that practicing polygamy will bring condemnation on there families.. in a nut shell of course. The only real reason they practiced polygamy in the first place was because there were not enough good LDS men to marry all the women, so in order to take care of all of the women they practiced polygamy. (Although Im sure the men wern't arguing lol)

Amie - posted on 09/16/2009

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Quoting Rachel:




That in its self is predijuce. "Mormon" women are not raised to be submissive at all. The FLDS..maybe but not "Mormons". There is a difference..a major difference! The "Mormons" banned the practice of polygamy a long time ago.  But to legalize polygamy the way it is practiced with the FLDS is wrong but in other circumstances then yes it should be. The number of people you "get" to marry is just another decision the gov gets to control.





I'm not a Mormon, Are you? No? Ok, well here's what I learned while I was doing Bible study with elders in the Mormon faith when I was on a journey to discover other beliefs..



 



The FLDS are mormons. They are the mormons who did not want to go along with the churches decision to ban polygamy. So they broke off and started their own church. They are the extremists who still follow the old mormon bible.



 



Mormons now a days have a new bible, are devout in their faith and do not practice polygamy because they chose to follow the laws put in place by the government.



In the (old) Mormon Bible it states that God told them to practice polygamy. To populate the earth with more believers. Translation: men go marry many women and have lots of kids and raise them in the mormon faith.



Today they just send out missionaries all over the world to try and convert people.



 



So while they practice the same "faith" there are the extremists (FLDS) and the regulars. Just like any religion really.



 



 



OH and as for this thread. I haven't posted other than this because I have no real opinion on it. There are people who could practice it responibly I'm sure but there are also people who would abuse it.

JL - posted on 09/16/2009

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As long as no one is being physically or mentally abused and all involved are consenting adults then I really don't care who or how many you choose to marry. It is not my business and I don't feel like I should prevent someones idea of happiness if it does not hurt me and mine just because it does not adhere to the standard social ideals concerning committment and marriage. But I do agree with Joy that the first thing we should do is legalize gay marriage before we start talking about multiple marriage.

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Meghan - posted on 10/18/2010

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My husband grew up in a polygamist household. His dad married another woman with 4 kids because god told him to. To this day my husband still has so many emotional and physiological problems because of it. We have been married for 5 years and just recently he has been able to talk with his dad after kicking him out of his life when he was 18. This may be a special case, and perhaps the circumstances would be different in a not so screwed up way. Seeing how this has affected my husband and my father in law. I would say no. BUT I do so hate the government telling me what I can and can not do in my life so I would say legalize it. As long as nobody gets hurt, mainly the children.

Iris - posted on 10/18/2010

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I'm conflicted on this one.
Even if it was legalized, do you really think that the FLDS communities would practice it within the laws? Right now many have 10 - 20 wives and over 50 children. To make it work the women collect welfare and other benefits as single mothers from the government. They would never be able to afford so many wives without the support from the government. I don´t think it that legalizing it would change anything in their communities. They are still going to have child brides and milk the welfare system for what it´s worth. The FLDS community doesn't look for our approval now, why should they do it then?
As for the rest of us. I don't see it working except for very few people out there, but I could see being a divorce lawyer, becoming a blooming business...

Bonnie - posted on 10/18/2010

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I don't feel polygamy should be legalized. The whole meaning of marriage would be thrown out the window if it is. Marriage is two people coming together to share your life as one. You give your all to one another, not share it with a group of people.

[deleted account]

No polygamy shouldn't be legalized. Just in the same way it shouldn't be legal to marry your brother or sister.

Here in the UK gay marriage is legal and I think that's great! But to be married to more than one person ruins the meaning of marriage. If people wish to live a promiscuous life that's their choice but should they be able to marry more than one person...no.

Nikki - posted on 10/18/2010

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Absolutely.

In today's society, it is okay not to pray at football games and other events, for fear of upsetting people. We fight that same-sex couples should me able to wed, we look the other way when people have children out of wedlock.

If all parties are willing and are open to the relationship, why shouldn't they be allowed to live their beliefs without fear of persecution of prosecution.

Tawny - posted on 09/21/2009

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Personally I don't know why anyone would want to have more than one spouse. It is hard enough already to be married to one person let alone married to more !

Amie - posted on 09/18/2009

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That's where I'm heading soon! She finally just fell asleep. She's in her big girl bed now and not taking to it as well as our older two did. =)

As for the whole religious thing. I understand wanting to defend your family. My grandparents were extremely devout Zion Lutheran's. So much so my mom switched from Unitarian to Zion Lutheran. I was baptized and confirmed to that church, which I later left. Boy did grandma have something to say about that. haha.(I may not officially be one but I will defend sane Christians in a heart beat because of my grandma) It's what started my journey though through varying faiths. I never looked by myself I always studied with someone from each prospective church. I always thought I'd get a better education that way. Apparently not though. I did not mean to offend you in any way Kelly.

I'm off to bed. Have a good night.

Kelly - posted on 09/18/2009

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It is late, and I am sorry your toddler can't sleep. I'm up because I'm in month 8 and can't get comfortable. At least my 3 year old is sleeping...... Maybe Canadian Mormons are different, I don't know. I have never met or come across a Mormon in Utah or anywhere else that has said the FLDS are Mormons. I would say just the opposite. (Especially after the Warren Jeffs debacle). I know that the FLDS sect in Colorado City has a sister city somewhere in Canada, maybe they have a stronger influence or something. I have a lot of issues with the Mormon church, which is one reason I never chose to be an active member. I have since been re-baptized and attend Catholic church, actually. I too have talked with missionaries that come to my door from time to time, and it shocks me how inaccurate they are on their own religion and its roots. (Not to say that I am an expert by any means) I just feel the need to defend my family that is active in the church when I see inaccuracies. There is so much crap about the Mormon religion floating around out there. Anyway, hope you get some sleep soon.....

Amie - posted on 09/18/2009

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No it's not. I'm tired, I'm bitchy and probably shouldn't be posting but I'm at the point where I don't care. I just want my toddler to go to sleep finally. It's been going on for quite some time.

I really don't care what you guys think and I am fully aware the age of there missionaries. I'm also fully aware they had to put $10,000 into the pot to be able to be missionaries. That's dedication to your faith. Crazy but devout.

It might be a culture thing, even HERE the Mormons in the church will concede that the FLDS are mormons. Just because you (or anyone else) choose not to accept that fact does not change it.

Again I will state it was the missionaries and an elder in the church who taught me this. They came to my house 3 times a week, guess they were hurting for converts, if they are teaching it wrong look within the church for that, don't look at me and get snotty.

Kelly - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Amie:e

Right.. I'll go tell the elders what they are teaching is wrong and to let them know their church is wrong because two people in the states said so.

Kelly you are in Utah I believe. Tell them to better educate their missionaries then. I spent 6 months with the whack jobs. And the last 2 of those months with an elder of the church. That is what they taught me. I could go find the Book of Mormon they used but quite honestly, like with all religions, I got rid of it when I was done asking questions.

Just because the FLDS are extremists does not change the fact that they are classified as Mormons. Just like Christianity there are different sects. Does not change the fact that they are Christian though.



I grew up in Utah yes.  Did I grow up active in the Mormon church? No.  The problem with missionaries is that they are often kids, straight out of High School, that don't know crap.  They go to MTC for a few weeks and are sent out to spread the word.  You don't have to agree with what I have said, if you want to rely on what little info you absorbed on your "religious journey" or whatever, that is fine.  I just can't stand people who spout off on subjects they know nothing about.   The FLDS are not classified as Mormons by anyone EXCEPT the FLDS themselves, and people who don't know or care to know the difference.  As far as Mormons being "whack jobs" you are entitled to your opinion.  Looks to me like its a defense mechanism since your "vast knowledge" on the Mormon religion was blown out of the water by two people in the States. 

Amie - posted on 09/17/2009

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Right.. I'll go tell the elders what they are teaching is wrong and to let them know their church is wrong because two people in the states said so.

Kelly you are in Utah I believe. Tell them to better educate their missionaries then. I spent 6 months with the whack jobs. And the last 2 of those months with an elder of the church. That is what they taught me. I could go find the Book of Mormon they used but quite honestly, like with all religions, I got rid of it when I was done asking questions.

Just because the FLDS are extremists does not change the fact that they are classified as Mormons. Just like Christianity there are different sects. Does not change the fact that they are Christian though.

Kelly - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Amie:



Quoting Rachel:





That in its self is predijuce. "Mormon" women are not raised to be submissive at all. The FLDS..maybe but not "Mormons". There is a difference..a major difference! The "Mormons" banned the practice of polygamy a long time ago.  But to legalize polygamy the way it is practiced with the FLDS is wrong but in other circumstances then yes it should be. The number of people you "get" to marry is just another decision the gov gets to control.









I'm not a Mormon, Are you? No? Ok, well here's what I learned while I was doing Bible study with elders in the Mormon faith when I was on a journey to discover other beliefs..






 






The FLDS are mormons. They are the mormons who did not want to go along with the churches decision to ban polygamy. So they broke off and started their own church. They are the extremists who still follow the old mormon bible.






 






Mormons now a days have a new bible, are devout in their faith and do not practice polygamy because they chose to follow the laws put in place by the government.






In the (old) Mormon Bible it states that God told them to practice polygamy. To populate the earth with more believers. Translation: men go marry many women and have lots of kids and raise them in the mormon faith.






Today they just send out missionaries all over the world to try and convert people.






 






So while they practice the same "faith" there are the extremists (FLDS) and the regulars. Just like any religion really.






 






 






OH and as for this thread. I haven't posted other than this because I have no real opinion on it. There are people who could practice it responibly I'm sure but there are also people who would abuse it.





Amie, I am sorry.  The FLDS are not "Mormons."  I was baptized Mormon, and I have a lot of family that are practicing Mormons.  Believe me, my Grandmother, Aunts and other female relatives are not submissive women, and they would be highly insulted to be put in the same catagory as the FLDS.



 



The FLDS claim to be the "true" Mormons, and you are right about them being extremists.  They can be equated to any group of nut-jobs out there.



 



As far as Mormons being "ok" with polygamy, they are not.  The book of Jacob in the Book of Mormon addresses polygamy.



Jacob 2:24-30




24 Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord. 25 Wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of Joseph. 26 Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old. 27 Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none; 28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts. 29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.



 



Basically, they believe (ed)  that God wanted them to live monogomous lives, unless He commanded otherwise.  Of course these days, only monogomous relationships are necessary.   When the Mormons were being massacered in Missouri, it was common for a brother (or other family member or friend) to take on his fallen brother's wife and children as his own.  What the FLDS practice is child abuse, and pure domination.  Quite a difference.

Kelly - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Brenda:



Quoting Kelly:

I personally don't think that polygamy is a good idea. And the fact that it is currently illegal doesn't seem to stop groups like the FLDS. I grew up in Utah and went to school with some kids that were from a poly family. They were just a little wierd, and I felt really sorry for them. In our area, they kinda hid I guess, each wife had her own house and the husband went from house to house.... that way they kinda blended in better I guess even though we all knew what the real situation was.

Some of the books I read have really opened my eyes though. "Stolen Innocence" was a really good book written by a girl who escaped her poly family in southern Utah. A lot of the women claim they want to be there, but the jelousy and spite that exists between the wives can't ever totally be avoided. Honestly if my husband brought home some 20 yr old not only would I be pissed, I would probably castrate him :-) lol.





What part of Utah Kelly? I lived in Sandy & South Jordan.






 





Park City...... Don't hold it against me. lol  I have a friend from HS that lives in Sandy, that is a pretty nice area.  Did you have any poly families?  I thought it was quite odd in Park City, especially since we didn't even have a very large Mormon population........ Not to confuse the 2 of course......

Shannon Cassidy- - posted on 09/17/2009

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Polygamy might be ok for some people but I personaly would not want it. Sharing my husband with other women , Knowing that he would make Love to them. I just would not want it. To me it seems a Unhealthy way of life going back an forth from one women to another or how many they are married to.

Rachel - posted on 09/16/2009

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Quoting Evelyn:



That being said, No I don't think polygamy should be legalized. Mormons women are raised w/the submissive mentality to sustain that type of marriage...the rest of us? Not so much. We'd like to think we could I'm sure...but not gonna happen. Jealousy would be the number one issue I'd think..then it would come down to finances, kids, power struggles, etc...Yeah they glamourize it on HBO, but that wouldn't be the norm in "real life".





That in its self is predijuce. "Mormon" women are not raised to be submissive at all. The FLDS..maybe but not "Mormons". There is a difference..a major difference! The "Mormons" banned the practice of polygamy a long time ago.  But to legalize polygamy the way it is practiced with the FLDS is wrong but in other circumstances then yes it should be. The number of people you "get" to marry is just another decision the gov gets to control.

Charlie - posted on 09/16/2009

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It just seems to me the only ones who get to marry many people are men , i just think its a mans way of dominating women for their own benefit .
just like so many other things *coughreligion*

[deleted account]

Quoting Carol:

I agree with Amanda, I could use a few more husbands to get things done. I'm sure mine wouldn't mind if we got one to finish the basement, one to clean the cat litter, and one to wash the car. As long as they pick up their own socks and look good from the behind in their jeans, I'll be happy.



I can hear ya in wanting more men to actually get something done around the house! My auto mechanic husband doesn't even want to fix OUR cars! Jerk!!! And I've only been trying to get him to get stuff for the new baby out of our sons closet for a few wks :( But seriously... would your husband mind you having sex w/all your other husbands? I know my husband would TRIP!!! That being said, i had 4 bros. (no I wasn't sleeping w/em) but I couldn't imagine having a house full of men! It'll be bad enough w/my husband and soon to be 2 boys!

Brenda - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Kelly:

I personally don't think that polygamy is a good idea. And the fact that it is currently illegal doesn't seem to stop groups like the FLDS. I grew up in Utah and went to school with some kids that were from a poly family. They were just a little wierd, and I felt really sorry for them. In our area, they kinda hid I guess, each wife had her own house and the husband went from house to house.... that way they kinda blended in better I guess even though we all knew what the real situation was.

Some of the books I read have really opened my eyes though. "Stolen Innocence" was a really good book written by a girl who escaped her poly family in southern Utah. A lot of the women claim they want to be there, but the jelousy and spite that exists between the wives can't ever totally be avoided. Honestly if my husband brought home some 20 yr old not only would I be pissed, I would probably castrate him :-) lol.


What part of Utah Kelly? I lived in Sandy & South Jordan.



 

Evelyn - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Katie:

Has anyone watched the HBO series Big Love? I love that show!

As for it being legal-- I'm not sure. I really do think that too many people would abuse the right to marry multiple partners and the legalities would be too hard to sort out.


I LOVE LOVE LOVE Big Love!



 



That being said, No I don't think polygamy should be legalized. Mormons women are raised w/the submissive mentality to sustain that type of marriage...the rest of us? Not so much. We'd like to think we could I'm sure...but not gonna happen. Jealousy would be the number one issue I'd think..then it would come down to finances, kids, power struggles, etc...Yeah they glamourize it on HBO, but that wouldn't be the norm in "real life".

[deleted account]

This is gonna sound superficial as hell....but of all the polygamist husbands I've ever seen, the ones on tv....why is it that they are always pasty, icky, round looking men with bad hair? If that was my only option, hell, I wouldn't have a problem "sharing" him lol That's wrong, I know. Sue me. :P

Johnny - posted on 09/14/2009

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I agree with Amanda, I could use a few more husbands to get things done. I'm sure mine wouldn't mind if we got one to finish the basement, one to clean the cat litter, and one to wash the car. As long as they pick up their own socks and look good from the behind in their jeans, I'll be happy.

Johnny - posted on 09/14/2009

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It isn't really that he wants polygamy legalized. What he really hopes is that child rape will be legalized, because that is what they are doing. If their version of polygamy was so wonderful for the women, they wouldn't have to hide them from society, brainwash the girls from birth, and teach them to always "keep sweet" so that the little 16 year olds who are being married to 60 year old men who already have 20 wives won't protest. Blackmore, Warren Jeffs and their cronies are pedophiles not polygamists.

?? - posted on 09/14/2009

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Yet Winston Blackmore -- a husband to 26 and father to 118 children -- hopes to do one better than his uncle. He wants polygamy legalized.

Disgusting.

Konda - posted on 09/14/2009

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My husband...and brother for that matter, say hell no they don't want polgamy, they said one aggravating damn wife is too much, LOL....can you imagine them trying to watch LSU play with several wives, LOL.

Louise - posted on 09/14/2009

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There are so many good answers but to the wrong question. Legalization, I don't understand why the government or the church decide who you get married to. Same with gay marriage.

As for is it a good idea to be involved with polygamy? Just think of this, if there are lots of couples out there struggling to have a good relationship with each other, add 1 or more person to that mix, i can say it's much more complicated.

Sara - posted on 09/14/2009

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I don't see why it is illegal to begin with. Why does it matter if people want to marry more than one person and have a blended family to begin with? The only problem I see with it is that it reinforces a patriarchal system because it seems that a likely scenario would be MEN with many wives and not vice versa...but as far as people marrying more than one person, I don't really see an issue with it.

Isobel - posted on 09/13/2009

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I think it should be legalized...then everything would be out in the open and there could be a legal age limit put on it...Consenting adults can make their own decisions (same as gay marriage)

[deleted account]

Quoting Joy :

Maybe someday it should be legal. But for now, I think we need to concentrate on making it ok for one man to marry one man or one woman to marry one woman before we start fighting for multiple marriages.....IMHO.



Hear, hear...



But it is fun to speculate ;)

[deleted account]

By my stipulations and definition, polygamy would be a marriage between all parties rather than several separate marriages linked by one man (or woman, as the case may be.) Cheating, on the other hand, would be being underhanded about seeing a new person (or persons) or having several separate marriages rather than one marriage with all parties as participants. I guess it would be kind of like now-different people have different definitions of what they consider cheating: for some it's a kiss, for others it's sex, and some people (those who are polyamorous) only consider it cheating if it's done without the knowledge of the other parties one is involved with.

Charlie - posted on 09/13/2009

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Where do people draw the line , how do you distinguish Polygamy with cheating ?

[deleted account]

Maybe someday it should be legal. But for now, I think we need to concentrate on making it ok for one man to marry one man or one woman to marry one woman before we start fighting for multiple marriages.....IMHO.

[deleted account]

I definitely don't think it should work for someone marrying a bunch of different people. I question the liklihood that 3 ppl could really find themselves loving each other that much, but eh? I agree w/one of the other moms that questioned how that would all work out legally? I would be pretty pissed if I divorced my wife & husband and they were able to keep MY kids that I bore because they would be 2 and I only 1! That would be pretty shitty! I also think that they should all live in the same house, I mean if we're ALL married and tied to eachother through the eyes of the law wouldn't that make sense? I don't think it should be ok if you have 1 guy trying to live w/multiple women in different households w/different children! People have a hard enough time supporting their ONE family I couldn't imagine trying to cover two+ households! And that would also make me think that the wives were NOT OK with it, making me think it should NOT BE OK! And again, I don't think it is something that should even be considered if we can't all agree that same sex couples can get married...in my book, if same sex couples can't get married then why should 3+ppl get that right? um NO

Jocelyn - posted on 09/13/2009

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Quoting Erin:

I don't think that polygamy is something that needs to be legalized. If a group of people wish to be together in a polygamous relationship they can do so w/out a license! Why in the hell would we be more willing to allow multiple people to hold a license that people think should be held against same sex couples? WTF? I'm personally against polygamy and think that it often results in over powering men and very young, nieve, subservient women. So many women will get into situations of threesomes and swinging to try to keep the man they want, how many people are going to end up married for the same reason? And how would that work? Would the 3+ marry @ the same time, so all 3 are tied together? Or could a couple marry and then the man go off and marry many other wives and the wives are not tied together except for through the husband? It also pisses me off when married people swing, I just don't understand why the hell you bother to get married if you are not willing to stay faithful to your ONE spouse? I just don't get it??? If you want to have multiple sex partners WHY get married???


I believe that if it is three ppl that are in love with every other member of the group, and they all want to marry each other, then why should it not be legalized?! 



but i don't agree with if it is just one person marrying a bunch of other people. 



if a man wants two wives, go for it, but the wives have to be in love with each other as well!



i also don't agree with the poligamy cults out there... 20 wives, 50 kids, underage "marriage" that's just wrong... but that's a totally different topic lol

Amanda - posted on 09/13/2009

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I sure could use more then one hubby...

One to mow the lawn

One to play with the kids

One to repair the house

One to cook

A few to bring in the cash

and a few just to look good around the house. :0)



I have no issues with more pural marriages as long as everyone are equal, and no one is being abused, and adults.

[deleted account]

Quoting Erin:

I don't think that polygamy is something that needs to be legalized. If a group of people wish to be together in a polygamous relationship they can do so w/out a license! Why in the hell would we be more willing to allow multiple people to hold a license that people think should be held against same sex couples? WTF? I'm personally against polygamy and think that it often results in over powering men and very young, nieve, subservient women. So many women will get into situations of threesomes and swinging to try to keep the man they want, how many people are going to end up married for the same reason? And how would that work? Would the 3+ marry @ the same time, so all 3 are tied together? Or could a couple marry and then the man go off and marry many other wives and the wives are not tied together except for through the husband? It also pisses me off when married people swing, I just don't understand why the hell you bother to get married if you are not willing to stay faithful to your ONE spouse? I just don't get it??? If you want to have multiple sex partners WHY get married???


I'm with Erin on this one. I don't have a problem with polyamory among consenting adults. People can do as they please in their own bedrooms. However, I have no idea how a marriage contract involving more than 2 people would work from a legal standpoint (at least in the US). Which of the partners is first in line for inheritance or making medical decisions? How do you decide custody of children if one spouse dies? As it is currently, I don't think marriage makes sense as anthing other than a contract between 2 people.

[deleted account]

Meh...It's not a way I would choose to live, but I don't see why it can't be legal, provided *all* parties are married to one another-that way they all share the same legal responsibilties for the marriage and the assets gained during the marriage. It's hard enough getting divorced from one person, though-imagine divorcing several!

Kelly - posted on 09/12/2009

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I personally don't think that polygamy is a good idea. And the fact that it is currently illegal doesn't seem to stop groups like the FLDS. I grew up in Utah and went to school with some kids that were from a poly family. They were just a little wierd, and I felt really sorry for them. In our area, they kinda hid I guess, each wife had her own house and the husband went from house to house.... that way they kinda blended in better I guess even though we all knew what the real situation was.



Some of the books I read have really opened my eyes though. "Stolen Innocence" was a really good book written by a girl who escaped her poly family in southern Utah. A lot of the women claim they want to be there, but the jelousy and spite that exists between the wives can't ever totally be avoided. Honestly if my husband brought home some 20 yr old not only would I be pissed, I would probably castrate him :-) lol.

Charlie - posted on 09/12/2009

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It would throw a whole new spin on family dynamics wouldn't it ! do you think it would be for the better ??
I am still unsure about Polygamy to me seems a little one sided and tends to be a more male dominated practice i am still unsure if i am for it or against it .

Johnny - posted on 09/12/2009

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I agree that women should also be legally allowed to take more than one husband, if they were to legalize polygamy. But would any of you want to have another husband?!?

Charlie - posted on 09/12/2009

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ONLY if it is equal and women are also aloud to marry more than one man !

[deleted account]

Has anyone watched the HBO series Big Love? I love that show!

As for it being legal-- I'm not sure. I really do think that too many people would abuse the right to marry multiple partners and the legalities would be too hard to sort out.

[deleted account]

I don't think that polygamy is something that needs to be legalized. If a group of people wish to be together in a polygamous relationship they can do so w/out a license! Why in the hell would we be more willing to allow multiple people to hold a license that people think should be held against same sex couples? WTF? I'm personally against polygamy and think that it often results in over powering men and very young, nieve, subservient women. So many women will get into situations of threesomes and swinging to try to keep the man they want, how many people are going to end up married for the same reason? And how would that work? Would the 3+ marry @ the same time, so all 3 are tied together? Or could a couple marry and then the man go off and marry many other wives and the wives are not tied together except for through the husband? It also pisses me off when married people swing, I just don't understand why the hell you bother to get married if you are not willing to stay faithful to your ONE spouse? I just don't get it??? If you want to have multiple sex partners WHY get married???

Sharon - posted on 09/12/2009

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I just realised I'm going to have to delete my history so hubby won't see I've been researching polygamy - GAH!

Sharon - posted on 09/12/2009

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I have to say I first looked up Polygamy and took a peek at the mormon site that popped up and I was so disgusted.



Women want polygamy. They do it to gain a rich husband. omg omg omg I'm gonna hurl.



the final quote...



"Instead of chastising men for being obsessed with sex with multiple women, try for once telling the women to stop giving it out so much to these men, and be satisfied with their "own" husband."

Dana - posted on 09/12/2009

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This is a hard one. I hate to say it shouldn't be legal but, I think it's a bad idea. I think with more than 2 people there is too much going on. I don't seriously believe that someone isn't getting jealous at some point and so is that healthy for all those involved, including children. I'd like to hear from someone who's been there done that....first.

Jeannette - posted on 09/12/2009

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I think I am not sure on this one. I believe that Polygamy opresses women...they can't have their own.

I know there are women out there who love being submissive, subservient, and 2nd class citizen is not a status they abhor. I could never handle being in a polygamist relationship because 1. I work to provide for my kids - I expect he will be doing the same. 2. I don't think so little of myself that I don't deserve all of my husband's affections, attentions, gifts, and effort in rearing our children. 3. I would not want my daughters to be raised in a situation where the women are deemed powerless (moreso than a one woman household making rules for her home) - because these women are not just making compromises with their male partner, they are also making compromises with the other women and their children. 4. I wouldn't want to be with a man who just screwed another woman. 5. I would constantly question his sincerity and commitment to raising children with good self worth and got quality time with their father. 6. What is the point? 7. We have to maintain a level of civility to be a functioning successful nation, not act like animals in the wild who are incapable of self control.

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