Popping on the Mouth? Yes or No?

Lacye - posted on 12/31/2010 ( 45 moms have responded )

2,011

31

164

I was in another community and I was looking at this post where the mother was asking how to get her 10 month old to stop screaming. I saw that one woman told her to tap his mouth! I'm sorry but to me that is not acceptable. I have never, and will never, pop my daughter in the mouth. I'll pop her on her hand or her butt in a heart beat but I don't agree with the mouth. What are your thoughts on this ladies?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Nikki - posted on 01/01/2011

5,263

41

574

That's considered child abuse in Australia, and so it should be. I understand that at times parents have reactions which they are not proud of and that's one thing, but it's quite another to be accepting this type of behaviour. I find it truly disturbing and sad.

Sarah - posted on 01/01/2011

5,465

31

344

No, I would never "pop" my children in the mouth. I wouldn't "tap" them on the mouth either.

I don't understand why anyone would feel the need to. If you're doing it to get their attention, why not tap them on the shoulder? If you tapped an adult on the mouth or face to get their attention, I think they'd have a few words to say about it!

Obviously doing the "wa wa wa" thing is completely different, it's a GAME. Popping, tapping, or whatever isn't a game. Why do people feel the need to hit/tap/pop in the mouth or face?!? If you feel justified in smacking, why not do it on the bum, rather than their mouth or face?

I guess I just don't see any reason, ever, that would warrant me striking my child, however lightly, in the face. I think that's plain wrong.

Charlie - posted on 12/31/2010

11,203

111

409

Absolutely not , cutsey little names like popping doesn't mask the act .

I find the whole idea repulsive .

Tiffany - posted on 12/31/2010

435

41

10

I have tapped my daughter on the mouth before when she bites. It wasn't a pop, slap, smack, hit or punch. Sometimes when people say a tap, they mean a tap. I like the example that was giving when you put your hand to your mouth and do the 'wa wa wa wa'. I play that game with my daughter all the time.......so as you can imagine, trying to tap her mouth when she bites just makes her think I want to play that game lol. So, instead of doing that now I get on her level and say 'no bite Amaya, that hurts Mommy' and I scrunch my eyebrows to look like it hurt and she has stopped. Every Mom has to find something that works for them, and every Mom has a stance on whether they think spanking is acceptable or not. I don't spank my daughter on the hand or the bum, cos she just laughs at me when I have. I find getting on her level and redirecting her attention is working for me. To each his/her own.

Joanna - posted on 12/31/2010

2,096

19

137

I will admit that I have done this a few times with my 3-year-old. Right before I had my baby she went through a stage of extreme tantrums. I would be kneeled down in front of her trying to get her attention and calm her, and she would be screaming hysterically to the point I didn't know if she realized I was there. So I'd gently rap my fingers on her cheek a few times and she'd kind of snap out of it enough to listen to me and tell me what was wrong. I didn't use it as discipline, I used it to get her attention. It worked, and although the tantrums have stopped, I'll do it again in the future if I need to, when all else fails.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

45 Comments

View replies by

Nikki - posted on 01/01/2011

5,263

41

574

I have just re read the original post again, I must have missed the age of the child. That woman must be on crack, seriously a 10 month old, feed him, change him, cuddle and comfort him. For god sake what is wrong with some people.

Ez - posted on 12/31/2010

6,569

25

237

Ugh.. I don't smack/spank/tap/pop/whateveryouwanttocallit at all so I certainly don't think popping a child on the mouth is ok. If I ever felt the need to I would give MYSELF a time out.

[deleted account]

I would have to agree that there is no real clarification here and tapping a babies mouth can be one extreme or another. Or maybe the woman that mentioned just tapping his mouth meant it as a tap. I remember my mom actually doing that with my youngest sibling and it wasn't in anyway violent, it was no more then a touch to his lips and it got his attention.

Nicole F-He must be a mellow kid for that to work.



Edit to add-I can't remember how old my brother was:/

Krista - posted on 12/31/2010

12,562

16

847

I think this is one of those things that really depends on semantics, and what people MEAN when they say "tapping" or "popping". For one person, "tapping" the mouth might mean touching the mouth no harder than when you repeatedly put your hand over your mouth to make that "wa-wa-wa-wa" sound. To another person, "tapping" the mouth could mean something very different.

So I guess to me, the question is not what the person SAYS they do, but what they actually mean by it.

Mrs. - posted on 12/31/2010

1,767

6

30

So, I guess this is going to turn into another spanking, no spanking debate. I only commented because I thought it was a thread for moms who sometimes use spanking as a tool and to see what they think. Now it's changed.....I think I'll bow out. I know where this one is headed.

Meghan - posted on 12/31/2010

3,169

33

202

If I was popping or tapping my kid I would fully expect him to call me a bitch...I am not setting a good example on how to treat people, couldn't expect him to know better.
I would never ever do that- no matter the age. It doesn't even make sense. Really, the logic makes ZERO sense. You are screaming, so to teach you not to, I am going to lay my hand on you?

Jenn - posted on 12/31/2010

2,683

36

96

No, I don't think it's OK to do. And if a child is having a tantrum and "time out doesn't work" it's because you have lost your patience and gave in. If they get out of time out- put them back until they stay - even if that means you put them back 50 times. Chances are you'd only have that issue arise once and they'd quickly realize that you truly mean what you say because you didn't just give up and move on to something else.

Kylie - posted on 12/31/2010

2,391

81

190

Ugh thats is revolting. Hell no it's not acceptable. And i don't like the word popping, its seems like a way to make striking a child sound less violent.

Katherine - posted on 12/31/2010

65,420

232

5195

It's so hard when they're not listening and pushing your buttons (my 5yo) not to get angry and spank or hit. I try so hard but sometimes I spank her butt.

Sara - posted on 12/31/2010

9,313

50

586

I make it a practice not to strike my daughter. I do raise my voice when warranted, but I don't ever want to hit her.

Becky - posted on 12/31/2010

2,892

44

93

I have patted my sons' lips before - like seriously, barely touching them, about the same or less intensity as you'd tap your lips or chin while in serious thought. I've done it to get them to stop yelling or spitting food. It didn't work because I didn't do it hard enough to get their attention! I've done the same under their chins when they bit me while nursing, but again, it had no effect.
When I hear pop, I see "punch". I'm sure that's not what the poster meant, but that's what I think of. So no, I would never pop my child in the mouth! I would never hit them in the mouth either.

Nicole - posted on 12/31/2010

736

6

98

I would say no. If my baby is screaming I feed her, change her diaper, burp her, cuddle her and if I need to get things done, I put her on my back in her snuggley and I go and do the dishes.

I have been accused of spoiling her by always responding to her cries but I am making my own decisions about how I want to raise my baby.

When my son is crying, he is four years old, or having a tantrum I: listen to what he has to say, repeat back his feelings to show him he is heard "you feel angry. You wanted to stay here and play. You want to stay and play" then when he has calmed down I say, "but it's time to go home. Let's go home". Then I smile and we go home...or move on to the next activity.

[deleted account]

Everyone does at some point. It was just another learning experience for me. She didn't even cry so it couldn't have been really hard but I did get a "i can't believe you just did that" look.

[deleted account]

No problem Katherine. I'm a little edgy these days anyway. Just barely over 24 hours til my kids are home though.... then I 'should' be back to normal. ;)

Katherine - posted on 12/31/2010

65,420

232

5195

I was just clarifying, Teresa.
I have had knee jerk reactions as well, Liz.

Lacye - posted on 12/31/2010

2,011

31

164

I changed the name of it. It doesn't really matter if the person agrees with spanking or not. lol. I get what you are saying now Teresa. Sorry for not getting it at first. A touch isn't bad like you said. but this woman was talking about a tap.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 12/31/2010

4,455

6

402

Oh I see the title of the thread has been changed.......

Corinne - posted on 12/31/2010

1,288

14

121

No, no, no. A bop on the bum or hand as a last resort or shock tactic, never, ever in the face.

[deleted account]

Even on the hand can be questionable, even if you're not using force (if you are wtf?). Little hands are very sensitive and you can damage the nerves in them that happened to someone I know. If you are going to spank the bum is the safest place, theres plenty of cushion and you're not going to do any unintentional damage. I don't agree with any sort of tap on the mouth, I understand to each their own and such but I see too many people do that and it just looks like hitting to me, again there are nerves in their lips that would hurt even if you just did a small tap. I don't know of anyone who caused damage by doing that but I could see someone accidentally hurting their kid because they hit them on the mouth. I'm not getting into a spanking debate lol there's too many on here to begin with but my belief is bum is best, it gets the message across without pain. I like how a few of you mentioned just touching their mouth, hand etc. that's how it should be, just to get their attention by touch not pain. At 10 mos old is pretty rediculous, what is the child doing that warrants a spank/tap/pop etc. to begin with? crying? much too young what happened to trying other methods and using spanking as a last resort?

Mother - posted on 12/31/2010

1,627

79

30

Oh jeeeeeeeeeez Liz....poor you. I can only imagine the guilt you felt but it was a reflex, you're only human after all.

[deleted account]

I slapped my oldest on the mouth at about 11 months old by total reflex and felt horrible after. She had just got teeth and literally got her first 3 at the same time. She bit my shoulder hard enough to make it bleed so yeah it was a reflex but I don't see the need to slap anything at that age. Maybe a hand if it's the most stubborn child in the world.

Usually the best way to stop a child from screaming is to not give them attention for it.

[deleted account]

"My vet told me never to smack a dog's head, too fragile."

I have to apply firm pressure to my dog's skull/eyes during his seizures. Sometimes when he jerks my hands off, it does cause a slap/hit. He has a pretty thick head though!

[deleted account]

NEVER to a baby EVER! I had to lightly pop my son in the mouth a few weeks ago after a never-ending screaming match tantrum becasue he simply does not get his way. He refused to stay in his room. Time out didn;t work. A swat on the butt didn't work. I was not going to tolerate my son throwing handfuls of toys down teh stairs. A pop on the mouth stopped the screaming, got his attention, and got him to calm down after I hugged & kissed him. But, he is almost 6 years old. NOT an infant. And I never ever had to resort to a LIGHT pop on the mouth until this past summer. Again, there is a huge difference between a light pop/tap/swat versus a downright beating.

Mrs. - posted on 12/31/2010

1,767

6

30

My vet told me never to smack a dog's head, too fragile. I sort of apply that to my kid. Of course, if she has something in her mouth that might choke her and I have to reach inside her mouth, I guess that's not all that much more force than a little tap on the mouth. I'd just do it on the hand or bum.

Mother - posted on 12/31/2010

1,627

79

30

Eeeeeeeeep....was is a tap or a pop?? When my daughter went thru her spitting and sticking out her tongue phase I would touch my index to her mouth and say "No". It wasn't a tap it was more like when you gesture someone to put something beside you on a table when you're on the phone or otherwise engaged like eating or speaking.

Popping implies hitting.....which IMO is wrong.

[deleted account]

No, I don't TAP their mouth's. That's why I said in my last paragraph of my first post that I'm against it.

[deleted account]

What difference does it make? I squeeze my kids cheeks to pucker up their lips for a kiss w/ about a million times more force (obviously an exaggeration)....... It's been in the midst of discussion and done maybe once or twice and I guarantee my kid's have never had an objection to it.

Have you never touched your child's face for any reason whatsoever? A touch is literally what I am talking about. NOT a tap. Not even close.

[deleted account]

It's not a spank when I do it. I disagree w/ that entirely. It literally is a TOUCH. I've tapped a stranger's shoulder w/ more 'force' to get their attention than I've ever touched/tapped one of my children's faces.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 12/31/2010

4,455

6

402

Um...no not when they are babies...but a TAP Like Teresa said then yes.

when my boys or feature kids get older 11, 12, 13 and so on....If they ever talk out of term around here they are likly to get some teeth knocked out...homie dont play that aound these parts!

but they really have to say some thing like

"MOM YOUR ACTING LIKE A BITCH"

Lacye - posted on 12/31/2010

2,011

31

164

LOL Katherine. No. Not really a spanking debate. Just wondering others opinions. LOL

Teresa, I kinda disagree. I'm all for spanking but I don't agree with anything besides the hands or the butt and even then not hard.

[deleted account]

I've 'tapped' a mouth (on my girls at a recent age... not younger), but when I say tap it literally IS a tap like a tap on someone's shoulder to get their attention w/ no force involved whatsoever. Not done as a punishment at all, but as a 'hey. don't say that.' type of thing.

A tap, pop, slap, etc.... w/ any force and as a punishment.... I'm not ok w/ that.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms