PPD

C. - posted on 06/12/2010 ( 27 moms have responded )

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I have known quite a few people to tell me to my face that Postpartum Depression (PPD) isn't real, that it's all in the woman's head. Just curious about other women's opinions on the matter?

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Charlie - posted on 06/12/2010

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I think their views are wrong and dangerous , for those of us who have experianced this its VERY real .

It can be detrimental to a woman sufferring PPD to not get the support she needs and even worse when made to feel her condition isnt real .



And secondly saying " its all in their heads " is one of the most idiotic things ive heard , of course its in their heads PPD is depression a mental disorder , mental pertaining to the brain , and where is the brain located ? IN THE HEAD .



Thats like saying " oh brain tumour isnt real its all in the head "



Honestly people astound me .



Next time someone says that to you , you can remind them of how stupid their comments are .

Krista - posted on 06/13/2010

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People are like that with a lot of emotional disorders. Because it's not visible, they think it's not real. And of course, it doesn't help that the term "depressed" is thrown around so lightly in our society, as in "Man, I'm really depressed -- my favourite show just got cancelled!" I think that leads people to just not take it seriously and to think that depression means that you're just down or in a bad mood, and can "snap out of it" or go for a jog and you'll feel better. My mom, sister and husband have all suffered from depressive episodes or long-term chronic depression at some point in their lives. So hopefully I'll never have PPD, but if it does happen, I don't think I'll have a problem with them as far as support goes.

I think PPD is very, very real. I mean shit, think about all the changes in your body and in your hormones -- why is it surprising that this could affect your brain chemistry?

Johnny - posted on 06/12/2010

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I just feel fortunate that I didn't get PPD. My mother had it, and I think it actually translated into a life time of depression and other issues for her. It is a really serious shift in a woman's emotional/psychological balance, and if it isn't treated seriously and with respect, I think it can become a lasting problem. Hearing people just brush it off as being all a woman's imagination really irks me. They have no idea the harm and hurt they are doing. Just someone has not experienced something themselves doesn't mean that it is made up. I mean, I'm never going to get prostate cancer, but I don't go around telling men that its all in their heads.

Tamara - posted on 06/15/2010

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wow reading all these comments makes me feel so much better it's so hard when being diagnosed with ppd or pnd in my case and then bi-polar on top of it, i felt like my life was crashing down around me n being stubborn i was determined i cld do it, til my bf walked out and i miscarried twins(it was hard enough finding out that i fell pregnant 2 months after having my son let alone losing them), the totally lost it. and had to somehow manage to function. it is so real and so dangerous when ppl don't understand how serious it really is.. kati ur so right when u have ppl like tom cruise saying it's all in their head n not real just makes it so much harder for ppl suffering.

Rosie - posted on 06/13/2010

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people like tom cruise perpetuating the myth that it isn't real , or medication isn't the answer or whatever. i had it all 3 pregnancies. first one was really bad and i didnt' get help. i didn't know what to do, i was single, and too proud to ask anybody for help with anything. i continued to be depressed until after i had my second child almost 5 years later. then about a year after i had him i finally got help. i went of medication so i could have my third child and after i had him i went on my medication again. i'd say about a year ago is when i got off medication completely.
ppd is very real and anyone who doesn't think so might need to have their own head examined. like kriata stated there are so many hormones and such going on after pregnancy i'm surprised it doesn't happen more.

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C. - posted on 06/15/2010

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Wow, Caitlin.. I didn't realize you were going through all that. That's a lot of stress on top of PPD. I really hope everything works out for you and your family for the best!!! And I think it's really sweet that your hubby does that for you :)



My family also struggled with bills, even now. I know it can be hard, but I know you can make it through. Good luck!!!

Caitlin - posted on 06/15/2010

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I had such a hard time breaching the topic with my husband, because of course we barely have the money to buy food and pay our mortgage and car loan (all our other bills are at least 1 month behind). I was also worried that he would feel I was trying to guilt him into having a third. It helped once I talked to him a bit about it, though it was really hard for me. It helps that he understands that it is a very real thing, and has been looking out for me. Hee spots when i'm feeling down and drags me out of the house, always thinks me when I get the chores done and overly hypes my "accomplishments" (like putting away the laundry) llike it's the greatest thing I ever did, because he knows it makes me more likely to get stuff done, making myself feel less lazy and useless. I may drop my course in the second summer semester, because I don't think it will help matters any. I'm sure i'll get through it, i'm sure it will help when the bills get paid!

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Wow Sarah, it seems someone wasn't doing their job properly. Think of the consequences! I'm glad your friend helped you though.

I had the baby blues pretty bad but no PPD thank God. I felt like a crazy person for about 3 days, then I was fine. I couldn't imagine going through PPD as three days of extreme hormones was hard enough to handle.

Sarah - posted on 06/14/2010

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@Cathy.
I couldn't have done a very good job of lying, because when the same health visitor came to see me after I had Shia, and she asked me the same questions, she said "You seem a lot better this time, you had signs of depression last time." !!!!!!!
Why she didn't point that out the first time is beyond me!

Sara - posted on 06/14/2010

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You know what? It's BS for someone to discount another person's experience. PPD is real, I had it and it's dangerous. It's so wrong for someone to say something so hurtful.

Lea - posted on 06/14/2010

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Wow. I doubt that very much. Its a chemical imbalance. Now, I think that in some cases it has real tangible causes such as no one helping the mom out, and those need to be corrected or medication just ends up being a bandaid.

Sarah - posted on 06/14/2010

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I was never diagnosed with PPD, but I think I probably had it to some extent after my eldest was born.
I felt like I was the worst mother ever, was crying all the time, wasn't sure what I was doing, I was SO tired and I just felt like I couldn't say anything because then they would see what a bad mother I was. So I kept my "happy" face on, and pretended I was fine.

I remember the Health Visitor coming round and asking me all these questions about my state of mind, and just lying for each one!!

Luckily for me, my best friend saw that I wasn't coping, and she just said out right "You're not coping are you?" I broke down and told her how awful I felt etc. Once I had told her all my worries and fears and insecurities, she helped me see that I wasn't the first person to feel that way, and that I wasn't a terrible mother for feeling down.

PPD is TOTALLY real, and I think completely understandable. Having a baby is such an emotional rollercoaster, that it's bound to stir up all kinds of feelings, and not all good ones! :)

C. - posted on 06/13/2010

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I also agree, Krista.. My family has suffered from depression for a while now at various points of our lives ever since my dad passed away 12 years ago, so at least to them it's real and I had some support. My mom and sisters have gone through it, and especially each of my sisters having 3 in a such a short amount of time.. I know that must be hard.



My husband was one that thought I could just snap out of it.. I guess he thought I wouldn't take a shower for two or three days b/c I liked it?? After being used to taking showers every single day of my life for how long? It didn't dawn on him that it COULD be real until he had to get the MPs to go to our house one time b/c I threatened suicide (I think he's still iffy on the whole thing though).



And Caitlin.. I was the same way as far as not wanting to go on any kind of medication, I also didn't want to talk to my doctors about it b/c I thought they would think I was insane for feeling that way.. PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR!!!!!!!! Don't be afraid to go on a low dose of medication or at least talk to your doctor about it b/c it CAN get worse.. A LOT worse. Speaking from experience, it literally started to tear my marriage apart and just made me feel even more hopeless.. You don't want to go through that. So please, if you start getting worse, please get some help before it escalates into something even bigger.



Kathy.. I think giving up BFing had the opposite effect on me. I felt like a failure and would cry every time I had to make a bottle! But that was my own choice b/c I wasn't making enough (I could pump 1/2 an ounce from each breast and pumped more blood than milk). I don't mean it in a 'good for you' tone at all, so please don't take it as that.. I'm just putting that out there that it didn't have that effect on me and may be why I fell deeper into depression before even moving to HI.



Now, when I was going through really bad PPD (up until my son was almost a year, after that it was still there just half as bad until a few months ago when it FINALLY went away for good!!! Now that my son's almost 2! I'm just glad I am starting to have a seemingly normal relationship with my son and it's WONDERFUL!!!) Anyway, when I was really bad off, I would literally spend almost an entire day on the computer or watch TV all day. There were a couple times when my son didn't even come out of the highchair between breakfast and lunch b/c my hubby was gone for two weeks due to training and I literally felt like if I let my son crawl around, I would go nuts those days. Anyway, I need to get going, as it's almost 0130am. I just wish more people would take this seriously. Having had such a horrible time with my first up until recently, it really hurts that some people can brush it off so nonchalantly. It amazes me at times, you know?



Anyway, PLEASE keep posting!!!! It's very encouraging to hear how some of you have come out of it so well :)

LaCi - posted on 06/13/2010

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Having had it, I say punch those people in the face.





*That might be a good way to redirect all the negative emotions.

Caitlin - posted on 06/13/2010

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I didn't get it with my first, and for that I'm glad. After my second (3.5 months old now) was born I started to feel down. Though I dont' want to go on medication, i'm going to have to get up off my ass and talk to someone about it. It's not horrible, I can feed my kids, I can get out of bed (very reluctantly) I feel down a lot and all I want to do is sleep, I know it's real! I can't even imagine having it worse than this. I think mine stems from the fact that originally I only wanted 2, now I want a third, but the hubby says no way, and I'm ahving a heck of a time reconciling that i'm finished having my babies!

*Lisa* - posted on 06/13/2010

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I agree Krista that the term 'depression' gets thrown around so much that people are starting to not take it seriously now. It's a very real problem and it is horrible when people you care about don't take you seriously or think that you are 'looking for attention'. Most women who face these kinds of things don't want the attention at all and it takes so much courage to actually talk about the thoughts that are going through your mind.

C. - posted on 06/13/2010

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Loureen, my mom is like that a lot, too :)

I want to write more, but I need to go for now.. Keep the posts coming!!!

Jocelyn - posted on 06/12/2010

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PPD is very real. Some people are just ignorant, uniformed and flat out idiotic. I've had both PPD and "normal" depression and if anyone had told me it was all in my head, I would have hit them in the head (with a very heavy object) and then when they complained about a concussion I would have told them to walk-it-off because it's all in THEIR fucking head LOL

Amie - posted on 06/12/2010

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PPD is real. /:) It never fails to astound me though how absolutely stupid some people are.

Joanna - posted on 06/12/2010

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My husband is one of those who thinks things are in people's heads, especially something like post-partum depression. So he was just dumbfounded when I was diagnosed, and didn't get why I had to take medication. He didn't understand why I would call him at 2 in the afternoon bawling telling him to come home because I didn't want to feed our daughter and she was hungry. He didn't understand that instead of eating or showering I wanted to put earplugs in and sleep instead. I still don't think he truly understands, but he got used to it as I dealt with it for almost 2 years before being able to come off my medication.

It is a hard thing to deal with, and being told it's not real is a real slap in the face for something going through it - just like someone saying cancer or asthma or scoliosis isn't real.

Charlie - posted on 06/12/2010

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she says things before she thinks about the consequences , i should be used to it , Jamie is very understanding , he knows if he says anything idiotic about something so serious i WILL start ripping heads off and using them for bowling balls hahaha , but seriously he saw how it affected me everyday , it hurt him to see me hurting so much , i would often end up curled in a ball crying hysterically and he would feel so powerless as all he could do was hold me , a few times he was in tears watching me in so much emotional pain , if it wasnt for him and my sister supporting me im not sure how i would have dealt with it .

C. - posted on 06/12/2010

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Loureen, my mother understood b/c she went through it.. But my HUSBAND of all people was one of those telling me it wasn't real!!! He thought I was just making it up b/c I wanted attention! And yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean about those types of comments sending you into a deeper depression.. It's really hard to hear that from someone so close to you.

C. - posted on 06/12/2010

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Carol, I am glad you didn't have to go through that.. It was very difficult to function most days when I was suffering PPD.



A friend of mine just had a baby in January and I was talking to her about a bunch of stuff (labor/delivery, etc..) and I began to tell her that if she ever started experiencing symptoms of PPD, don't be afraid to let someone know (I just didn't want her to feel the way I did, I didn't get proper care b/c I was too afraid and wanted to be able to 'fix' my problem by myself.) She looked at me funny and was like, I though that was just women trying to get attention or something! It just floored me that someone would say that. I don't know, I just couldn't get that, and many other comments, out of my head, that's why I wanted to know what you ladies thought.

Charlie - posted on 06/12/2010

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When i was diognosed i told my mother and she said " pfft what have you got to be depressed about ? "

I can tell you that sent me into an even bigger tailspin and made me want to keep it to myself for fear of being brushed off again , luckily i have a more considerate partner , sister and father although honestly i dont think she meant to hurt me like that or deny that depression wasnt real , just that she couldnt understand MY depression .

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