Pregnant because they're stupid

Sharon - posted on 07/20/2010 ( 73 moms have responded )

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Yeah I figured that would get your attention. I thought of this while reading that teaching kindergartners about anal sex and blow jobs thread.



I want to take a poll of the ladies on this site alone. I want you to answer "yes" or "no" and possibly give anecdotal testimony below your answer.



Do you know any one who got pregnant because they didn't know how to prevent it?



How many girls/boys did this happen to that you know?

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Isobel - posted on 07/21/2010

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and that's why it's important for the information to be presented AT SCHOOL! where the children are graded for their attention :)

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2010

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I absolutely agree with you Meghan, but I think the point the doctor was making was that often, doctors aren't delivering the information in a way the patient either understands or hears the important points. So yes, it is the patient's responsibility to ask questions, but he was trying to say that often, doctors could do a bit better too.

Jane - posted on 07/21/2010

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Yes, I know several girls/boys that have engaged in sex, not knowing that 1) you could get pregnant the first time, 2) that taking 1 birth control pill took care of it, 3) that pulling out was 100% affective, 4) that the boy hadn't gone through puberty yet so it must be ok, 5) that a girl could not possibly get pregant while on her period and 6) that it was before 14 days after my period so I was safe. The sad part is...each of these are all scenarios that have occurred with people I've known over the years.

How many? Enough to know that NOT TEACHING ABOUT SEX in some form and in age appropriate ways is a huge mistake!

I can say the youngest person I known (a child of a friend of mine) was 10. And ya know what? Their whole premise when she and their other children were in grade school was "she's just a little girl/he's just a little boy, she/he doesn't need to know and when it's time, we will teach abstinence only because the bible says so". Worked great for them...NOT....she had the baby but gave it up for adoption!

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[deleted account]

Our 17 month-old really was a pill baby though - no antibiotics or anything that is known to decrease the potency of BC! We didn't know we were pregnant with her until we were 20 weeks along becuase I was still having periods (light ones, but 4-5 days long like my regular periods). We figured it out when my breasts were all of a sudden very tender and I started to get a belly. I was on BC still the whole time, but it didn't affect our daughter at all - thank God!!!

[deleted account]

Uh, oh... I guess I'm guilty of pregnancy by stupidity then... We have our 2 1/2 year-old because instead of going to the doc to get antibiotics I just took some that were already in our medicine cabinet (left over from a previous tonsilitis infection). Didn't bother to read the bottle (except for what med it was lol) and got pregnant while on the pill... Oops :P

Rosie - posted on 07/22/2010

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The funny thing is, the belly grew about double in the 2 weeks after she found out. Always makes me kind of wonder if some of our pregnancy symptoms aren't a bit psychological.-carol

i know someone who had that happen to her as well, except she was 8 months along. she found a "mass" in her stomach and went in to see what it was, they did an ultrasound and low and behold, she was 8 months pregnant. her friend worked with me as well, and said that she wasn't showing AT ALL, and then as soon as she found out , like 2 days later she grew a belly. really strange...;)

Sharon - posted on 07/22/2010

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Tara - that is awesome & sweet!!!

Out of all the teen pregnancy couples I know - only ONE has stayed together and frankly - I know to many to count. Its horrifically sad to me. Love is so awesome and what most teens think is love, just isn't.

Tara - posted on 07/22/2010

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yes it's true. I also grew up in a small town 1 stop light, about half a dozen last names!! We were not locals but moved up from a big city when I was in grade 8.

The guy who thought he couldn't Make a baby until he was married, actually went on to be a great father to the baby. He had the mom were only 16 when she got pregnant. His parents kicked him out, hers took them in. They got married when they were done school and her mom helped them buy a house. He is not a religious person now. lol
They also have 3 more children (all planned pregnancies in their 20's.) it's a sweet story with a happy ending. But when he talks about how dumb he was, he really does blame his parents. Even though he had sex ed and knew the mechanics of how a baby is made from sperm and egg and penile insertion, he still believed that until he said I do, he could not make a baby. And his parents' decision to kick him out really hit hard for him. He had been raised with a very family oriented mentality. They were the quintessential christian family. Tons of children, farmers, church socials, prayer meetings, family gospel lessons etc. etc. And he was never talked to about sex, except when it came to marriage. He was told only that people have babies when they get married. Nothing about sex before marriage etc.
Tara

Krista - posted on 07/22/2010

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The guy, he thought he would be shooting blanks until he got married cause he was told "you can't have a baby until you are married". He took that literally to mean that he simply COULD NOT make a baby until he was married. (Christian family)

That guy is a walking advertisement for comprehensive sexual education.

[deleted account]

My cousin didn't know until she was 5 months along. She has PCOS and irregular periods. Plus she had just been put on a medication with weight gain as a side effect. She eventually figured it all out though.

LaCi - posted on 07/22/2010

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Anybody been watching "I didn't know I was pregnant"

Freaky. The girl who was a size 6, didn't think she could have children and dropped to a size 4 right around the time she popped out a normal sized baby... nuts!

[deleted account]

OMG! Sorry Tara but that's hilarious about your male friend....I won't even make the joke I wanted to! That's obsurd....seriously? lmao.

Tara - posted on 07/22/2010

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yes
Just one girl and one guy (different situations)

Girl-- she was new to our school, about 15 years old. Was raised by her grandparents as her parents both died in a fire when she was 3 or 4. Her grandparents had never talked to her about sex. She had a boyfriend within 2 weeks of starting our grade 10 year. She sat beside me in French class. The guy she was with was a sleaze bag. He had her wrapped around his finger.
Well in midwinter she seemed to be gaining a lot of weight (her guy and her had split about a month after they go together, he found some one new) she had a few friends by that point. When she started throwing up at school and complaining that she felt like she had "worms" moving around inside her, our homeroom teacher took her to the guidance department. Who then took her to the sexual health nurse.
Who confirmed with a urine test that she was preggos.
She was 6 months along and didn't know. She said there was no way she could be having a baby cause Tim had only put it in her for a few seconds at a time and she "knew" he had to go in and out a long time to get someone pregnant.
The guy, he thought he would be shooting blanks until he got married cause he was told "you can't have a baby until you are married". He took that literally to mean that he simply COULD NOT make a baby until he was married. (Christian family)
So yes, I know some people who while not "stupid" were certainly mis or un informed about sex and baby making procedures!!!
:)Tara

Sharon - posted on 07/22/2010

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Cathy - what was her build? Big girl or tall girl? or just super small baby?

[deleted account]

Most men do! lmao. Chad and I have the same arrangement....although when it comes to doctors or anything medical *I'M* usually the one who needs someone with me to help listen to all the information. For some reason when I'm worried or stressed about something I tend to blank out.....Chad says my "eyes just glaze over and I go to a different place"...lmao. It's always good to have someone else with you for any important medical or doctors visits where you need to retain a lot of information OR if the information is stressful to hear. When I was pregnant Chad came to almost every doctor/pre-natal check up I had.....he was my best friend through my pregnancy and my ear and voice because I had a hard time retaining everything and ALWAYS forgot to mention things to the doc....Chad would step in and remind me of the things I wanted to mention to her. Also, when I was having all my kidney problems, my mom often came with me to my specialist appt. and was there during my surgery and recovery. I was so high after there was no way I could remember what the doc said.

Thanks for listening to my rambles....carry on.

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2010

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That's how it is here too with a prescription. It's also why *I* take care of my husband's medical info and have his permission to talk to his doctor on his behalf. Because he has selective hearing!!

[deleted account]

Jodi- "that patients often don't take in about 75% of what a doctor tells them, so that maybe it is time that doctors stepped up more and developed ways to ENSURE that patients received and understood the information they are provided"

I've heard the same thing and I totally agree, AND I'm pretty sure that's why whenever you get a prescription filled now the pharmacist comes and speaks with you and gives you verbal instructions as to how to take the medication, accompanied by some literature for you to read explaining EVERYTHING about the drug you are about to take. They also ask if you have any questions before you go. At least that's how it is in Canada.

Too bad doctors can't have their appointments typed out and given to us to browse over after we leave!?!

Isobel - posted on 07/21/2010

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One of my best friends is tall and thin...when she was pregnant, we teased her that she looked like a snake that swallowed a gopher ;P

Johnny - posted on 07/21/2010

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My cousin, who is a pediatric nurse and one of the smartest people I know was 30 weeks along when she found out she was pregnant. She had the BC shot and wasn't on any medications that should have affected it. She is tall and slim and just thought that she was getting a paunch and an ass because she was getting closer to 30, lol. She is a competitive runner and does not normally menstruate. She noticed the linea nigra and freaked. She figured she would have been 20 weeks max, but the ultrasound showed a 30 week fetus. The funny thing is, the belly grew about double in the 2 weeks after she found out. Always makes me kind of wonder if some of our pregnancy symptoms aren't a bit psychological. But even just before the birth at 42 weeks, she still only looked 20 weeks pregnant max!

Meghan - posted on 07/21/2010

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while I somewhat agree with what you said Jodi...I didn't go to medical school. If I don't understand what a doctor is saying I ask questions...if I chose not to listen-well that is my own ignornance!

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2010

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Dana, I was listening to a report on TV last night, and a doctor made the point that patients often don't take in about 75% of what a doctor tells them, so that maybe it is time that doctors stepped up more and developed ways to ENSURE that patients received and understood the information they are provided.

Meghan - posted on 07/21/2010

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Well when I said to her..."you do know that antibiotics can counteract bc" her response was "I forgot"....then there was the second time...

[deleted account]

Ya, I agree....from a young age anytime I was prescribed antibiotics my doctor made sure to remind me to be careful because the birth control pill became less effective. There's a ton of risks and responsibilities that come along with taking birth control and I'm surprised that doctors aren't more on top of it?!! Or maybe people just aren't paying attention....either way...

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2010

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Sharon, I always knew my BC pills would be affected by antibiotics, and that's well over 20 years ago....I am pretty sure it was printed on the instructions even back then.

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2010

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Somehow??? I love that... "I somehow got pregnant". Well, duh, sex will do that to people!!

Sharon - posted on 07/21/2010

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Dana - I wasn't that far along. All the docs said I couldn't have kids. So they looked everything else that could be causing my sickness and pain and they decided breastcancer was it. I had all the markers for it and during a routine pregnancy test before starting treatment - they found out I was pregnant. I was nearly 3 months pregnant and not showing at all.

LOL But I sure as hell didn't get all the way to going into labor and was still clueless!

The antibiotics thing doesn't really count - that is almost a new discovery. Well, in the prescription drug world anyway. I knew about it but I had forgotten about it until you guys brought it up.

Although - I can see it as a potential "excuse" for getting pregnant for some women who are rather immoral. "OH! I had no idea antibiotics would negate my BC pills!"

Nowadays - I'm pretty sure its printed on the warning labels and bottles they give you ? I should go dig some of my old ones up to see.

Meghan - posted on 07/21/2010

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does because the girl went on antibiotics and they "some how" got pregnant count???

[deleted account]

Ummm.....I didn't find out I was pregnant until I started showing right around 20 weeks. The ONLY thing that gave it away was my belly starting to show.....everything else could be explained away or was ignored. It can and does happen......and I wasn't overweight, Sharon! ;)

Sharon - posted on 07/21/2010

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Jane - I wondered about that too. I watched that show on TLC a couple of times to see what it was about.

usually its about overweight women with multiple health issues confusing the issue + bad pregnancy tests.

But I saw a couple that just left me going "HOLY CRAP!"

the best one was a skinny older woman (late 40s to early 50s) had two kids all grown up. Docs thought she had a tumor, baby only developed on one side of her body (not in the middle? wtf? I never did understand that) I can't remember the full story - but it was cool/crazy.

[deleted account]

Hahahaha! I have asked this question sooooooooo many times! I know there is that show on TLC, or something like that, that has women telling their stories about how they didn't know. I'm thinking, you missed your period, you are getting bigger, you are hungrier, you feel kicking, ummm, what?



Totally off topic, but I thought it was funny.

Jane - posted on 07/21/2010

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Off topic but had to ask...how do some women go through an entire pregnancy and NOT KNOW they were pregnant and the next thing you know, they're delivering a baby? I haven't figured that out at all. I mean...come on...when there is some alien thing kicking inside, how do you not know?

Sharon - posted on 07/21/2010

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OMG. I'm sorry emilie - was she dropped on her head as an infant? You seem so bright?

Sharon - posted on 07/21/2010

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I've heard the antibiotics thing before - that sucks.

I've also heard the "It can't happen to me" thing - which is just fucking moronic.

Mind you - these people i'm speaking about were not my personal friends. Somehow - my number got passed around for this sex stuff. My highschool bf kept people for calling for the other sex reason, lol.

Aliska - posted on 07/21/2010

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I'm a sort of...

I knew a number of girls, supposedly above average intelligence as they'd all completed high school and got into uni who went through that 'hippy, vegetarian' phase in their early '20s. This meant that everything that went into their bodies had to be 'natural' so the birth control pill was out. Trouble is though these girls stopped taking the pill they didn't stop having sex with their boyfriends so guess what.........And these were all girls who had the benefit of education. To this day I can't work out what they were thinking......

ME - posted on 07/21/2010

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I do...

I may have told this story here before...but for the new folks...

I used to work at a teen mom's half way house...We had a young woman (age 13) come to us who was pregnant with her second child. She didn't understand the female reproductive cycle in the least. She didn't realize that if she wasn't having her menstrual cycle, that she was probably pregnant. She didn't know that condoms could prevent pregnancy. It turned out that she had an IQ somewhere in the low 70's. She wasn't the only case like this, but she was the most extreme.

Amie - posted on 07/21/2010

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Yes. Me.

My oldest. No one, including my doctor, told me that antibiotics fuck with BC. 3 months later, my friends finally convince me to go to the doctor. Voila, I'm close to my 2nd trimester and no turning back.

It happens. Even with the most comprehensive sex ed some small details sometimes fall through the cracks.

Other than me though, I'm not sure. I'd like to say no but it's not exactly something my friends and I sit around talking about.

[deleted account]

Oops, correction: One woman I know is pregnant with her fourth and is married, but she didn't know you could get pregnant while BF.

[deleted account]

No. I knew girls that just didn't care and one of my friends wanted to be a really young mom. Other than that, all of the people I know were married before they got preggers and it was on purpose.

Isobel - posted on 07/21/2010

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shoot...Michelle made me realize I have to count myself as well...I had number 2 because I thought you couldn't get pregnant while breastfeeding ;P

Sharon - posted on 07/21/2010

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damn - this is cool! :: sigh :: still... it holds up my theory that my backwards strict catholic neighborhood is every bad joke ever conceived - sorry, lol I HAD to use that word.

[deleted account]

Yes and No.

The 26 year old was on birth control, but she was uniformed that a herb she was taking would decrease the effectiveness of her birth control.

But she was 26, not 16. Her "baby daddy" is loaded, and she has a great teaching job. Not a bad situation for the baby to be born into.

LaCi - posted on 07/21/2010

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Nope. Never met anyone who wound up pregnant because they didn't know what they were supposed to do, only those who were pregnant because they didn't do what they knew they were supposed to do.

well... maybe that girl in the 6th grade. I didn't know her well, so I couldn't tell you.

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