Pregnant Woman gets Kicked Out of Bar

Katherine - posted on 01/13/2011 ( 129 moms have responded )

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This pregnant woman walks into a bar ... and gets kicked out. No joke, that's what happened to Michelle Lee, 29, at a bar in Roselle, Illinois. It wasn't because she was swilling wine or taking shots of tequila (she was sipping water), but rather because she was pregnant.

She had flown into her hometown for a baby shower and joined friends at the Coach House Restaurant to do some catching up. Just about 15 minutes into her stay, a bouncer came up and asked her if she was pregnant.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Lee recalled him asking. "Are you pregnant?"

At eight months along, it was pretty obvious she was, and she confirmed the fact for the oaf. He then informed her of their policy against pregnant women on the premises, and she was escorted out.

Outraged yet? It gets worse.

"I was stunned," Lee told ABC. "He said, 'If anything happened to you here, we would be responsible.'" 

So poor pregnant women can't take care of themselves? They need to stay at home and knit booties or something?

At the time Lee said she didn't put up a protest because she thought there was perhaps some kind of ordinance that prohibited pregnant women in bars. Thankfully, there's not, and Lee says she's considering getting an attorney.

Hopefully she does. While there are plenty of frivolous lawsuits out there, this is a fight that should be fought to help stop the discrimination against pregnant women that happens all too often -- from the workplace to getting a mortgage to a bar.

"There are certain things for which you are not able to discriminate against someone, and one is their gender," Ed Yohnka, an American Civil Liberties Union spokesman, told the Chicago Tribune. "And only women can have babies. You can't discriminate against a pregnant person."

Yet they did, and whether the bouncer acted alone or it was the policy of that bar, a message needs to be sent loud and clear that if you do, we're not going to take it ... anywhere.

What do you think about this pregnant woman being kicked out of the bar?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/114...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

~Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2011

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Shauna...you must hang out in some pretty low class bars, if all you can talk about are 'bar fights'.
I've been a bartender for 20 years, and have seen **maybe** 5 actual fights in those 20 years in all the places I have worked.....and that's a lot of places.

Krista - posted on 01/14/2011

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@Shauna: "Pointing fingers and snickering"...? Seriously? Well, it's that sweet of you.

Pregnant women can be knocked over and fall just about anywhere where there are other people -- the sidewalk, the subway, the mall. Should they avoid crowds altogether while pregnant?

And as for the trashy thing -- well, heaven forbid that a pregnant woman want to socialize in the evening.

This comment is EXTREMELY telling about your mindset: Be a mother and meet up with your friends the following day if your friends want to go out and get smashed.

You've got a big madonna-whore complex going on, I think. A mother is a mother, but that is not ALL that she is. So if she likes live music and playing pool and socializing with her friends, why on earth should she give that up just because sperm met egg? But maybe she should just stay home and knit booties and "be a mother", right?

Tara - posted on 01/14/2011

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Okay Shauna,
I have a better chance of getting in a car accident or tripping on the stairs when I'm preggo than I do of getting in the way of some crazy bar brawl. I'm a responsible woman, I take care of myself.
Smoking has been banned in bars for almost 12 years now where I grew up and where I currently live.
I have another flaw with this policy, what if the woman in question were not obviously preggo. what about women in their first or early second trimester? Should all women of child bearing age have to pee in a cup in order to be allowed in?
I don't know the stats but I would hazard a guess that unnecessary surgical procedures on infants or on pregnant women are far more risky than going out for a celebration with friends at the local watering hole, or the local dance club. I loved to dance when I was pregnant, and just because people could drink in the place where there was music, did not deter me from doing so.

Johnny - posted on 01/14/2011

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I'm signing on to the "it's ridiculous" crowd.



Although I fully disagree with drinking when pregnant, I do not think that there should be a law prohibiting it. Firstly, the most vulnerable period of pregnancy for alcohol interacting with the fetus is when a woman is not showing, so how could we possibly hold bars and pubs to account for that?



Secondly, what about people who are mistaken for being pregnant? One of my closest friends passed away three years ago from cancer. The tumor grow on her ovary (a recurrence of bowel cancer) and made her appear very pregnant. She actually looked like a pregnant anorexic. After a life time of being an exceptionally "clean liver", a vegetarian (almost vegan) non-drinker (no drugs either), yoga practitioner, when she was dying she decided to let loose. Why not? Well, you should have seen the looks she got from waitstaff in restaurants and bars. Can you imagine that conversation? Ma'am, I can't serve you alcohol because you are pregnant. No sir, I'm actually dying of cancer, bring me the wine. Yeah, that would be a pleasure.



Sorry to get off topic, but I had to address this problematic concept of criminalizing or regulating the actions of pregnant women. I can tell you how thrilled I'd be by the sanctimonious twit who succeeds in banning me from Starbucks when pregnant.



Back to the issue at hand. I was in plenty of bars while pregnant and never drank. I spent a week in Mexico, 90% of it in a bar while the very kind and pregnant-woman-friendly bartenders brought endless virgin margaritas & chi chis to my table "so I wouldn't have to get up". How about treating people with respect and dignity which might lead to them treating their baby and themselves that way?

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As for the smoking in bars thing, many states banned smoking in bars not long after they banned smoking in restaurants and workplaces. I know in Florida, that was back in ohhhh 2001 or 2002. So by the time I was pregnant in 2007, there was no smoking in bars, no second hand smoke for anyone, pregnant or not. I went out with my friends several times when I was pregnant. For one, I don't have friends who drink a ton or get sloshed. The bars we hung out at were definitely bars, not restaurants. There was pool, karaoke (sp), darts...typical bar activities. I got some looks, especially the bigger I got. But you know what? I really didn't (and still don't) give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of me. I'm free to go where I want and it's nobody's business. I was in a bar with two of my girlfriends when I was about 6 months along. We were sitting at a table, watching people sing and this guy sent me a drink. I smiled, raised the glass at him in the "thank you" fashion, pointed to my belly and passed the drink to my friend. He came to the table and proceeded to lecture me about how my man must not be a man to let his pregnant girl go to a bar. I calmly told him that I was 36 years old and that NO MAN had ever LET me do anything.

I hope the lady in the article gets a lawyer, more to prove a point than for her to win a bunch of money.



Shauna, you're the only one here with the opinion that pregnant women shouldn't go to bars at all. And I'm not trying to bash your opinion (which you are entitled to), but since this is a debate forum, I have to ask if it's possible for you to be open minded enough to realize that not all bars are like the ones you have experienced. Some places DO have bouncers and they aren't clubs. Like Jenn M., I've worked at many bars in my life and I've seen exactly what she said. Most bars don't have bouncers, they have bar backs that serve many purposes for an establishment. Everything from kicking out roudy customers to filling ice to stocking supplies to re-filling toilet paper in the restrooms. And in my 20ish years working in bars, I've only ever seen 3 fights. Fights aren't as common as you may think they are (at establishments other people experience).

129 Comments

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JPatrick - posted on 11/12/2013

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Everyone else's personal anecdotes and preferences aside, if this woman wanted to be out in public at this place, she had every right. If it were me, I would have declined to answer the personal question, or declined to leave and subject this place to the spectacle of this bouncer 'escorting out' a pregnant woman over her protest due to their prejudice. Yes, being out (anywhere) is typically more dangerous than being at home. In fact, the drive to/from this establishment was likely the most dangerous part of the night for mom and baby-to-be. I guess we should have laws prohibiting pregnant women from driving? As others point out, it's OK for moms to continue working often in demanding jobs throughout pregnancy, but we can't trust them to make their own decision on leisure time? I really hope she sues, if only to bring attention to this kind of BS.

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Even if the woman was drinking, I don't think they should have kicked her out. People are increasingly trying to police other people's behaviour, especially pregnant women, and it really is no one else's business.

Bonnie - posted on 01/17/2011

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I often stayed up past midnight for both my pregnancies. Okay half the time I fought myself to do it, but I did. Just because a woman is pregnant, doesn't mean she needs to have a curfew.

Natasha - posted on 01/17/2011

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Oh boy, where to start. I think that I made it abundantly clear that I do not have a problem with this mom going out to a bar. I think it is ludacious that just because she went out with her girlfriends people are claiming she is going to be a bad mom, does that mean when I leave my son home with my husband and go out for supper with my girlfriends while I am pregnant, I am a horrible mom?Or does it make me a bad mom because I have a business where I occassionally drive 3 hours to do a show? And I am planning a trip to Vegas when the baby is about 4 or 5 months old? Sometimes in order to be a "good mom" you need to put yourself first, and do what makes you happy. And sometimes that involves going out, and I am a HUGE homebody. Always have been and probably always will be.

Jenn - posted on 01/17/2011

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"Just read that Lee stated she was kicked out when it was after midnight... sounds like perfect "mother" material"

Please tell me that you're kidding. I don't understand what the time of day has to do with anything. When I was pregnant with my first, I worked in a bar up until I was 6 months pregnant, carrying cases of beer even - AND I didn't get done work until about 3:30am!! OMG - how dare I?!? *rolls eyes* Want to be even more terrified? I flew to Europe and traveled to London, Paris and................wait for it..............here it comes..............AMSTERDAM!!!!! I guess I'm not good "mother" material. Too bad, so sad that I think I'm a great Mum and have been told so by friends, family and even strangers - so stick that in your pipe and smoke it! :P OK - I'm done with this thread because it's just annoying me that people can be so judgmental about something so silly that has zero impact on their life.

Barb - posted on 01/17/2011

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Since we are going to inject our own personal experiences into this situation and judge this establishment's actions as inappropriate, i'll go ahead and toss my own in there.

This restaurant/bar is in a suburb of Chicago, but close enough where you can't tell where one suburb ends and another begins.

I went to highschool near Chicago and have many friends there. A long time ago, when Doug and i were first together, i went up to visit my friends and he came along. i was not pregnant.

My best friend invited us out to this bar she had heard about but never been to. We went, it was packed. Doug noticed things i didn't. I was too busy having a great time with my girlfriend to notice bars on the outside AND the inside of the windows. and when Doug went to get our drinks, he came back with cans. He said, we finish this drink we will find another bar.
Do you understand why he came back with cans and not bottles of beer? Can you guess what the bartender told him the reason why was?

I have worked in a male dominated field for years. As soon as someone tells me i can't do something, that is the first thing i want to do just to prove them wrong. I'm strong willed and bullheaded. But that doesn't mean it's the safest or the best thing for me to do for myself or my unborn child. Sometimes we want to think ourselves invincible when sadly reality proves to us we aren't, it is too late. We don't live in a fairytale unicorn world where everywhere is safe for everyone.

THIS place does not sound like a place i'd want to go, pregnant or not. I could also name off places in town i have stayed away from for years because of the fighting i know goes on. Murders, stabbings, blood.. just not a good place to be. But we still go out for drinks and a good time, just other places that don't have those kinds of issues.

Carol, i'm really glad you had a great time at the jazz bar, i've never been to one but have always wanted to go. Doug isn't "hip" enough to do it, but i have a friend who is really into it so i need to hit her up and go with her. Only problem is, she is in Florida and i'm in frozen ass Indiana LOL

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Jackie i would stop judging this mother if i were you. i often stayed up past midnight as an expecting mother...am i bad mother too?

Charlie - posted on 01/17/2011

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"I guess I cant be too judgemental since her baby was prolly made after a "family restaurant" night out. "

Did you mean " probably " ? just wanted to clarify .

When I was pregnant with my first I still went out with my fiancee and friends to bars just to meet up and hang out , I sipped my juice or water , most of the time I went home early because I was exhausted but occasionally I stayed until after midnight having a laugh .

Honestly anyone who thinks there is something wrong with that can bite me , I love * note sarcasm * when mothers try and get all sanctimonious and think being a Martyr makes them a better mum ....... like Carol I am glad my parents showed me they were individuals with outside interests that they were amazing enough to be able to be the best parents AND respect their own individuality .

Jodi , Jamie and I just had a weekend away too it was blissful and our children are happy because they have two very happy parents who shower them in love everyday .

Jodi - posted on 01/16/2011

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Seriously? Mothers and pregnant women shouldn't be allowed out after midnight now? Sheesh, imagine what they think of me, I've left my kids overnight before for a dirty weekend with hubby, someone call in the authorities, my kids have TWO irresponsible parents!!!

Johnny - posted on 01/16/2011

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Well, Sherri. Pigs are flying and hell hast frozen over. I completely and totally agree with you. I was out past midnight last night. Undoubtedly my child should be removed from my care. Growing up, my parents often were out once in a while until well into the early morning. No wonder I turned out so terribly.

Either that, or this "mother" will successfully demonstrate to her children, just like parents did for me, that becoming a parent doesn't mean that I need to stay at home knitting by myself. It is entirely possible to behave like an adult, show responsibility and still have a blast.

I've always considered it a plus that my name isn't Cinderella and my carriage doesn't turn into a pumpkin at the strike of twelve.

Please enlighten me, are night shift workers automatically poor "mothers" or does this simply apply to women who dare socialize while pregnant after the clock chimes twelve?

Jackie - posted on 01/16/2011

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Just read that Lee stated she was kicked out when it was after midnight... sounds like perfect "mother" material

I guess she will have her baby's first birthday at a different bar... err "family restaurant". I guess I cant be too judgemental since her baby was prolly made after a "family restaurant" night out.

Johnny - posted on 01/16/2011

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I was out last night at a blues show at a bar. I know I know, the horror! A mature mother like myself setting a bad example going out to a bar dancing. The shame.

Anyway, there were actually 2 pregnant women that I saw there, one of whom, I found out was the lead singer's wife celebrating her birthday. It is a bar, it has bouncers, and I'm sure that over the 100 years that the place has been open, there has been a few fights there. And it was entirely possible that some idiot would have too much to drink and get in a punch up. I suppose it could be considered a risk. I'm pretty sure though, statistically speaking, that those pregnant women were at greater risk during their transportation to and from the bar than they were when they were actually in it.

I find this whole idea that it's a "bad environment" just about the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while. Seriously, aside from the extremely low chance of violence (at least at the places I go), I'm not really sure what people are referring to? Are you concerned that your fetus might hear someone swear? Is your little bun in the oven going to learn about the evils of alcohol? (if you are not drinking yoruself) What's the worry?

I sort of think that this is more about the image that people think mothers should have, rather than any actual threat to the child. The vast majority of pregnant women are aware that drinking is bad for their child's fetal development. If they are going to make the bad choice to drink while pregnant, they aren't likely to actually do it out in public where it's very likely that a server or even a stranger will take them to task for it. So really, what's the problem here?

Laura - posted on 01/16/2011

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I've found that people are going to disagree with what you do when your pregnant no matter what unless you sit in the house all day knitting booties. I unloaded truck for a retail store up until the day I delivered my first, climbed ladders, stocked freight, and pretty much ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. Had a very easy labor and attribute that to the work I did. My coworkers and customers however tried to berate me at every turn. You know what, I'm not going to put my child at risk, I know my limitations. If I were to walk into a restaurant/bar that was getting rowdy I would probably walk out. It's just another example of trying to protect people from themselves, sure some people are stupid and will go into a mosh pit or drink while pregnant but we can't legislate everything and we can't protect people from themselves all the time.

We also can't protect ourselves from everything. I can't tell you the number of times I've missed a step at home or slipped going up the stairs. Am I supposed to just stay on the main floor of our house because I could get hurt? (not going to happen cuz there's no bathroom :) )

Barb - posted on 01/16/2011

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I am by no means saying one should stay home and knit booties and live in a bubble while pregnant. I am suggesting this particular place does not sound like a good place to go if you are wanting to look after the well being of your child. Perhaps going to a more upscale place would be more appropriate, this place sounds like a roadhouse fightclub.



This place has bouncers, plural, more than one, and it's open until 4am. The reviews talk about drinks and dancing. Perhaps early evening is "kid friendly" later at night is not so much?



Here is another review where people had to show ID to get in? Not sure what is "kid friendly" about that.



I have been there twice! First time I went they wouldn't let me in because they said I needed to show 2 forms of ID and my boyfriend had to show a passport. First off my boyfriend is African American why would he bring a passport. Then the second time I went there with some … show full reviewof my girls friends with the same ID I used the first time and same bouncer they let me right in with no hesitation. So if you are not white please bring your passport!

Jenn - posted on 01/16/2011

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OK - decided to do some googling myself and found another review where it was called a child friendly place - so there you have it folks. ;)

Jenn - posted on 01/16/2011

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And just for the sake of argument, we have a Boston Pizza in town which is a family style chain restaurant - that also has a bar side to the restaurant and I have heard of there being a fight there - this is a family restaurant! So you just never know where something bad will happen, and you shouldn't let the possibilities of bad things stop you from living your life.

Jenn - posted on 01/16/2011

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And if you read the reviews that you posted, here is what one person said "My experiances at the Coach House have always been a joy and with out incident!" and another said "It seems to me the only people giving The Coach House a Black Eye appears to be people who have had confrontation. Guess thats what happens when 1 can't hold there liquor!" And keep in mind, that people who typically post reviews for places like this are those who had a bad experience. More people will loudly complain about something than they will to loudly give it praise.

Bonnie - posted on 01/16/2011

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As Jodi K. mentioned the establishment is called a restaurant, not a bar, so really the average person that is not familiar with the area or had just never heard anything about the place before, wouldn't know what to expect there. I personally think they need to change the name of the place if this is rep they want to have.
As Barb mentioned with the review she found, I find it helpful to have read that, but honestly, people can have a bad experience anywhere and on a busy night, any place can get rowdy. I think if they are having problems with their bouncers, it might be time for them to hire new ones that can control the place. I mean I am sure you have all seen how some house parties can get when some people get liquor into them. Does this mean pregnant women aren't suppose to go to house parties either? I think maybe we all just need to stay home while pregnant and look at the four walls all the time then nothing will happen to us; we won't slip and fall on someone's property, we won't get pushed around when shopping during a sale, and we won't get kicked out of places to name a few. I wouldn't avoid it personally.

Barb - posted on 01/16/2011

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I decided to do some googling on this. My thought was that perhaps this bar had recently been sued by a pregnant woman who had been injured at their establishment, or perhaps her unborn child had been injured and when they saw this lady, they wanted to mitigate their damages.

We can speculate all we want about our experiences and about our local establishments, but this is about this bar, this experience and from reading reviews, it does NOT sound like a good place to be. I'll post the link, but here are some of the reviews:

rsofia517

1 of 1 users did not find the following review helpful:

* Your Rating: 0/5 Stars
* Overall Rating: 5.0/5 Stars

My Take on Discruntal Patrons
5.0
It seems to me the only people giving The Coach House a Black Eye appears to be people who have had confrontation. Guess thats what happens when 1 can't hold there liquor!
Unfortunatly inoccent bystanders get in the middle when you get bouncers and drunks who refuse to … show full reviewleave. Now, I have been a Police Officer over 27 years, Not in Roselle! and I do not condone, bulling or beating on women but I have had "115LB" Drunk red neck trash try taking me on and I'm over 240 lbs! Again, Liquor some how brings out the Beast in many. Now with that said, My experiances at the Coach House have always been a joy and with out incident! The food and Service has always been Great with NO
dissapointments. In Fact, I'm looking forward to a nice St Patty's day dinner tonight!

BEWARE people. This place is a joke. u have no rights when u are in there, and the bouncers are out of hand, they dont know how to control anything without getting into fights, they lie to the police and have cameras which they try to use to there advantage. Only sheriff … show full reviewpolice can go there, and they are in with the owner there, and only side with them. This place shouldnt be open, they need to learn ow to run a place, specially being open late.

this place is open late, average prices, good location, fast bartenders. Sometimes the people that attend mess it up for the people who have been going there for years. The bouncers are nice & so is the mangement. Good time if you respect others and dont try to ruin other people's time and can handle your alcohol

Went there a couple of times giving it more than one chance. Bouncers were very nice to me(I'm a female)but saw how they handled others inappropriately. No TY!

http://www.restaurantdb.net/restaurant/c...

Are there no other places that they could have had a good time at that might have been a better choice?

Jenn - posted on 01/16/2011

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@Hannah - that same logic could apply to any place - say even a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol. Should pregnant women be banned from going out into public? It might put their baby at risk.

Jodi - posted on 01/16/2011

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Jaime, being in a restaurant bar doesn't necessarily mean you are in a bad environment......shouldn't a parent/pregnant woman have the right to decide for themselves if it is a bad environment or not? Going to a bar (especially a restaurant bar, or bar/cafe) doesn't mean there will be drunk people there. It is dependent on circumstances.

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...it's the atmosphere that should be avoided. just like you should avoid smoking if you're pregnant. but if you're still around people who smoke...doesn't make too much difference, you're still putting yourself and the baby in danger.

yeah i know you can't get "second-hand drunk" like my husband just decided to throw in, but you're still in a bad environment. sigh.

[deleted account]

Jackie - not everyone who goes to a bar drinks alcohol. I went to nightclubs when I was pregnant for younger friends birthdays and never consumed alcohol there at all. I only ever drank bottles of water and offered my services as a Designated Driver. Mind you bubby loved all the music he could hear and was always "Dancing" to his favourite songs

Jackie - posted on 01/15/2011

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doesnt say what time she was there... but from the reviews I have read on this place, it is a "drinking" establishment in the evenings with a loud, party vibe. IMO... not the place for a preggo.
Just because you have the common sense to not drink when preggo doesnt mean all the other preggos do so if "punishing" the majority for the sins of a few saves lives then I wish more businesses would refuse sale of alcohol or entrance. FAS is a preventable problem but there are so many who are not aware how one drink can endanger their baby.

[deleted account]

i know im new here and all but i think ill be hated reall quick. i think buisnesses do have a right to turn anyone away legaly that is. if they dont want that libility on them if she gose into preterm labor or if she wasnt as far along lose her baby then they have that right its there buisness.

Jodi - posted on 01/15/2011

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Gah, I am really bitchy and hormonal tonight and REALLY wanted to go out with my husband (*gasp* to a bar! To grab a burger and soda and shoot some pool. ) But, out babysitter got sick and so here I am at home. :(

Jodi - posted on 01/15/2011

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"She had flown into her hometown for a baby shower and joined friends at the Coach House Restaurant to do some catching up. "

" He then informed her of their policy against pregnant women on the premises, and she was escorted out."

It was a restaurant...with a bar. I can hardly name a restaurant in my town that doesn't have a bar in it, either for waiting on busy nights to get a table, for those that are alone and would like eat at the bar instead of a table or for those who want a drink or two. And why is there a restaurant (let's reiterate the fact it's called The Coach House RESTAURANT, not The Coach House BAR) that doesn't allow pregnant women to eat at it's establishment?

I don't drink (irregardless of the fact that I am currently 8 months pregnant myself, I don't drink, not before I got pregnant and I won't after), and I can tell you for certain, that the main objective at a bar is not to get drunk for everyone. In fact, most mature, responsible adults I know dont' go to get drunk, might have a drink or two and socialize, but they don't go to get drunk.

Again, it's up the woman to make the decision to be in that bar (I do agree that drinking while pregnant should be illegal, but how do you enforce that one for anyone who isn't showing?) but a pregnant woman should be allowed to drink some watet, tea or heaven forbid some caffinated soda wherever she so chooses. Be it a bar (where her friends were gathering and she wanted to chat with them too), a cafe (guess what, the cafe's in this town sell alcohol, and most have a bar in them!), a popsicle stand or a picnic bench. Again...it's a RESTAURANT with a bar, I can't name one in my hometown that doesn't have a bar, even the cafe's do, and the pizza place sells alcohol too, I guess I can't go out with my friends then if I can't be in a place with a bar.

[deleted account]

...sigh. i think people are too quick to call a lawyer nowadays. too quick to get their panties in wads. why was she in a bar anyway? don't they have little cafes or something where she could relax? i mean even where i live we have a doughnut shop or a dairy bar somewhere. sigh. you can get water there just as easily and with less drama waiting to happen.

Hannah - posted on 01/15/2011

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Going against the norm on this one but I have to agree with Shauna :) Not because I don't think a pregnant woman doesnt or shouldnt have the right to be on the premises but because I genuinetly feel that a bar is looking in her best interest and for the safety of her baby. Heaven forbid something did happen to her and she was pushed and shoved and she did lose her baby, well I can just see it now...She would be looking for compensation as she should be. With that being said I feel that they do this to prevent lawsuits from happening. What if someone slipped something into her drink EVEN if she was drinking water or soda, it can happen. If that happend to you when you were pregnant and you're baby was affected would you not do anything about it? Would you just say oh well? I don't think I would. I would be happy that they were looking out for my child's best interest and would not take it as discrimmination. But that's just me ;)

Jodi - posted on 01/15/2011

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"There are lots of places people can go to "hang out" or socialize where getting drunk is not the object of the evening/day."



How is going to a bar equal to getting drunk as the object of the evening/day? I've been to bars where we can get a meal, who is to say she wasn't having a light breakfast. Heck, here you can go to a bar and order coffee if you choose to. It doesn't HAVE to be about alcohol. Some of our bars are actually bars and cafes. The one she was in was actually a restaurant, so it was not primarily a bar only. No-one said she was drinking. In fact, she wasn't. So how is what she did wrong? She had every right to be on the premises. I could understand the reaction and refusal if she had requested a drink, but just being ON the premises?

Jackie - posted on 01/15/2011

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barroom: a room or establishment where alcoholic drinks are served over a counter
As someone who has fostered kids with FAS, I find it disgusting that a pregnant woman would choose to socialize at one. There are lots of places people can go to "hang out" or socialize where getting drunk is not the object of the evening/day. Some women should be required to take a test to get preggo so if the law needs to step in and tell them "NO" then that is what is needed. Maybe this one chick wasnt going to drink but there are A LOT of dumb females out there and do not realize how their actions affect others (baby inside included).

Natasha - posted on 01/15/2011

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I have to say that if I was this woman I would be cying "foul" to every body who would listen to me. I think it is ridiculous to ask her to leave just because she was pregnant. I went out with girlfriends through my first pregnancy, usually to the pub down the block from our office. I only once got a wierd look from another patron, and my friend went over to talk to them about thier rudeness. I was not drinking anything stronger than an extremely weak iced tea (I still think they forgot to put the tea in it), and I had some wings and other appetizers that they ordered.

With my second baby on the way, I don't get out often, but when I meet up with the girls it is usually in a resturant lounge, as that way we can enjoy each other's company without having to hear kids crying. I love my son and will love this baby just as much when it gets here, but sometimes you need to go somewhere they don't allow children :) (or is that just me?)

Now, I have to point some thing out, just because a bar has a bouncer does not mean that there are bar fights. The city that I live in now (which is the same one I lived in while in college) has a bilaw that states if your business is classified as a bar you must have a "bouncer" on during every open hour. That means that the bars that open at 11 have to have a bouncer there for the customers who come in and drink coffee while playing VLTs. This legally has to be someone other than the bartender, and this person is not allowed to serve any drinks. They can carry out other duties; ie cleaning up glasses, spills, mopping, etc, but usually they are just bored out of thier minds.

While I am trying not to jump on the bandwagon in regards to Shauna, I would be livid if I were told that I was not legally allowed to go some place because I was pregnant. I understand that you are in a community where there is so much crime and would not feel safe, but to every person has the right to choose thier own choices.

Mary - posted on 01/15/2011

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I'm also going to have to disagree with you Shauna. The area where I live most people have the same preconceived notions about bars/pubs/clubs that you do. And in back my single days, I had been to some bars that are exactly as you describe. However, not all parts of the country have this preconception, nor are all facilities that serve alcohol as raucous as you think...whether or not they have a bouncer. (Bouncers are hired as a preventative measure as well, & usually "bouncing" is a very small part of their job duties..they are actually diningroom managers, hosts, and in large, crowded clubs, they ensure that max. occupancy isn't exceeded, & that any spills & broken glasses are cleaned up promptly & if live bands are involved, that stage shows don't violate fire codes.) When you live or grow up in an area where there is alot of stigma attached to drinking alcohol at all, anyone who enters a bar is stereotyped as a drunk looking for action. Which is what you seem to have done. But my experience, even in the more raucous places, these people are the minority, most are just out with friends having fun. You are very much entitled to your opinion, but you cannot force another person to live their life in accordance with your lifestyle choices. Unfortunately for this woman, if the place she was at is a private club (membership required), they do have the right to refuse service to whomever they choose. It is businesses that are open to the public that are legally bound to anti-discrimination laws.

Sorry if I seem to be jumping on the bandwagon of comments that are firing at you, Shauna. But you have illustrated a big pet peeve of mine. It's disconcerting to me when segment of society wants to control the actions of others through legislation, based, not on illegal actions or "doing harm"; but based on lifestyle appearances. In your opinion, a pregnant woman in a bar looks seemly, so therefore is unacceptable and should be banned, regardless of whether that woman's behavior was harmful. Your suggestion was that "she should go out during the day"? You can disapprove of a pregnant woman in a bar all you like, however noone has the right to tell her she's not allowed to go out at night just b/c she's pregant. Besides if something were to go wrong with her pregnancy, it would happen regardless of where she is. As long as she has access to call for help, the risk is the same. People get into fights in other places as well.

[deleted account]

if i was at that bar and a bouncer asked me if i was pregnant i would of told him it was none of his business if i was or i wasn't! this is definitely discrimination

Nicole - posted on 01/14/2011

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I lived in Vancouver for a few months, hated it and left. I remember walking to work one day and there was a homeless person, dead on the street. He had died from cold:(



My family is all in Australia. My sisters grew up in Echuca, and that was as bad of a town for a woman to live as can be. I hear it has developed a great deal since then and is now a much nicer place to live

Mrs. - posted on 01/14/2011

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I heart Canada too and all it's meth head neighbourhoods. I love Canada so much, I choose to live here even though I could live in the states. Not to mention, the hot ass men, my fiance is a fine piece of Canadian ass. Just wanted to clear that up.

[deleted account]

I'm not sure what Rebecca is on about....I LOVE Canada and I especially LOVE British Columbia. It's the best province by far! ;)

ALLLLLLLTHOUGH, I'm sure Australia is lovely! ;)

Mrs. - posted on 01/14/2011

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You're right Dana, Abbotsford is a bigger chunk of sand in BC's vagina. BC has a beautiful vagina and all...it's just really full of sand (and meth).

Jenn - posted on 01/14/2011

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Like I said, I don't want to move there. Anyway. let's just say we'll agree that maybe a woman in Omaha shouldn't go out to bars, but in most places it isn't a big deal.

Shauna - posted on 01/14/2011

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exactly. Most towns are full of crack heads and hookers in the poverty stricken part of town. Omaha is no dif. Its pretty bad. Only its prety much everywhere now.

Mrs. - posted on 01/14/2011

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No, the neighbourhood I lived in is one of the worst in North America. It's around a street called East Hastings (and Main), they just have a junkie/hooker city there, it's pretty rough. A lot of the parks are littered with needles and pipes, lots of crime and craziness. Vancouver is a beautiful city, it just has a big divide between rich and poor.

Shauna - posted on 01/14/2011

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and thats not including the amounts of rapes, and vilolent activity, i can go on and on. And most go unreported. LIke i said you just get used to the sound of gun shots.

Ive had my car stolen 3 times with doors locked. House broken into. Sexually assualted at a gas station... you name it. And that was only living their 2 years.

Shauna - posted on 01/14/2011

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If it wasnt murder, its a shooting that almost resulted in a murder. There is high crime rate, every morn when i turn on the tv there is at LEAST 1 SHOOTING. so sorry not a killed person just a "SHOOTING" when i lived in omaha i lived in the "nice area" and you just get accustomed to gun shots. You dont live here, so i guess you really wouldnt know. Talk to anyone that lives here, and they will say the same.

Jenn - posted on 01/14/2011

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Just for the sake of interest, Omaha ranks 42nd for murder rates in US cities. And at about 43 murders per year, that's hardly a murder "practically every night." Not saying I want to move there, just sayin'.

Shauna - posted on 01/14/2011

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well, im not going to argue roughest neighborhoods b/c its kind of embarassing, i would love to get out of here, but money is the issue. or lack of money i should say. Omaha has become worse than LA with crime per capita.

Plain and simple i wouldnt go out to a bar pregnant thats all. Every one has a diff experience. and i respect that. I kinda have a bad scenario. And never thought i would conceive so when i did and had a miscarriage i lost it. When i finally got pregnant again. I worried that i would miscarry so often i was scared to do ANYTHING.

Mrs. - posted on 01/14/2011

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I guess I don't think of it as rough. I lived in one of the worst neighbourhoods in North America, in Vancouver, BC and everyone thought I was f'd. I never got assaulted, I even went to the local bar that was full of some crazy people managed to avoid ever getting in a fight. I guess in the grand scheme of cities you can live in, go out in and possibly be pregnant doing so...Omaha wouldn't top the list of OMG that place is a dangerous snake pit.

[deleted account]

If the responsibility didn't fall on the business in the event something might happen then no they shouldn't have that right. People are so sue happy these days and a lot of times don't take responsibility for there own actions or choices.

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