Punishment Vs successful outcomes

Sal - posted on 06/27/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have noticed in a couple of threads on the welcome page that there is a definite divide or trend in punishment being the default mode for dealing with difficult behaviours, it seems to me that the parent doesn't mind too much if the behaviour is altered or not they just focus on the consequences... I was particularly appalled in the thread where a mum had trouble where her children were waking during the night and raiding the kitchen amongst other mischief, or where another mum was asking what to do when a young child uses I hate you" a lot of the advice was simple punishment, ranging from "mr belt" face slapping not giving the children breakfast and taking away toys...
I am totally for consequences for action, where it is appropriate and effective ( my son continuosly gave lip during driving lessons and trasted my opinion with scorn... i stopped the lessons indefiatly until he can act with maturity and respect, my daughter missed library day as she wouldnt pack her school bag, they also had to go to a party dressed in house clothes after getting muddy..but see the point of punidment in place of solving the behaviour very well stupid, I feel punishing instead of solving is lazy and makes them feel like they have dealt with the problem when really they have not..

What are your thoughts.. Is punishment more important than successfully dealing with the problem...


Jenny - posted on 06/29/2013




Sometimes people have no idea how to successfully deal with the problem to correct the behavior and use punishment instead because at least it can stop the behavior. Correcting behavior can take a lot of time and imagination which stressed out parents don't have the time for, on the other hand punishments can provide immediate results so its understandable that the general population turns to punishments. It provides immediate gratification.

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