R.S.V.P Does anyone still know what this means?

Aliska - posted on 05/17/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

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I don't know if it is only us Aussies that have forgotten our manners or if this is an issue world-wide. In Australia so many people ignore the R.S.V.P request at the bottom of invitations so the host/hostess is left guessing the numbers to cater for. It makes no difference whether it is a small party for a child's birthday or a formal event like a Christening. I know so many people who spend a day on the phone chasing people who haven't responded to invitations. I've also had parents say that their child will be attending a party only not to turn up with no phone call or explanation. I've had people refuse to commit as to whether their child can come like they are waiting for a better offer but don't want to loose their spot at your party if nothing else comes up.



I want to know why people do this when a phone call, text message or email is so easy to make/send. If anyone out there doesn't R.S.V.P please be brave enough to respond as I would love to know why you choose not to formally respond to invitations.

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30 Comments

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Becky - posted on 05/23/2010

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That drives me crazy too! Especially when you send out an evite or a facebook invitation. It seriously takes a second to click yes or no, and people still can't be bothered to do it! Or when you set an RSVP date and people call you 2 hours before the event to ask if it's still okay to come. Ugh!

Yes, I noticed when I was pregnant too, usually the only people to offer me a seat, like at a restaurant or whatever, were the elderly people who needed the seat more than me. I have, however, had a lot of people hold the door for me when I was struggling with 2 little ones and a monster of a stroller, so all is not lost quite yet!

Sunny - posted on 05/22/2010

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I always reply. I hate having to chase people up with the are you coming? phone calls!
As for the seats @ Kathy yeah go gen Y lol (hehe im gen Y)
I have been 8 months pregnant on Melbourne trains and trams and not one person has offered me a seat! Even now when i catch the bus or train and i have my son with me the only people who offer to help me on and off (which i dont need help with but its still nice) or offer a seat to us are the 70-90 year old men! Got to love them!

Amanda - posted on 05/19/2010

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Its world wide, I got married almost 3 years ago, and no one actually RSVP'ed it, I spent 100s of dollars more then I needed too because no one can be bothered to mark a check on Yes or No. I just hosted my 12 year olds birthday party, it clearly stated on the invites that RSVPs needed to be done due to it being at a pool, so I needed to know how many lifegaurds I needed to hire. Not one person RSVP'ed. Unfor the world has become extremely passive aggresive, and ppl dont call when they arent showing up cause they dont wanna offend you, or just dont want to deal with the "conflict" of them not showing up.

Jodi - posted on 05/19/2010

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Heck, these days, it's as simple as a text message. Most invitations have a mobile phone number on them these days. I often text a response if I am in a rush. What's half a moment sending a text message for the sake of manners and etiquette?

[deleted account]

Drives me nuts too! For my daughter's first bday I actually phoned all the people I hadn't heard from to question whether or not they'd be coming and OH MAN did they feel silly!

How hard is it to shoot off and email or make a quick call?

[deleted account]

Manners demand you respond when invited to any event. With the many ways of communicating this days, it's not even inconvenient to do so. I tend to respond and then note the event in one or all of the my computer-based calendars and on one of the three calendars on the walls here (we each have our own).

LaCi - posted on 05/19/2010

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I will only rsvp if I'm actually going to attend, and chances are I'm not going to go, so chances are you won't hear from me.

Esther - posted on 05/19/2010

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This is a big pet peeve of mine too. I recently organized a work dinner for a team of people who worked on a particular project. It had been a particularly brutal project so the partner on the account wanted to show his appreciation by organizing a dinner. We invited 60 people, 35 accepted, 10 declined, the other 25 didn't bother to respond at all despite numerous reminders. Out of the 35 people who accepted, 13 showed up. Nobody bothered to let me know they wouldn't be coming after all. If I was that partner, I would NEVER organize another dinner again.

Charlie - posted on 05/18/2010

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LOL if no one offers me a seat on a bus or train i stare them down with a " im gonna break water all over your face if you dont get up and give me a damn seat " kinda look , it almost always works a treat but i find people are generally very good at offering all by themselves .

Krista - posted on 05/18/2010

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I RSVP the minute I get an invitation to something. That way I know I'M not going to forget about it.

[deleted account]

On the offering a seat thing:
In college was worked as an assistant to a handicapped student. She has cerebral palsy and gets around on a combo of crutches and wheelchair. Basically I drove her to doc and therapy appointments, the grocery store and anywhere else her heart desired to go. We went to eat at her favorite restaurant one night and it was crowded with an hour long wait. She decided to stay and because I was paid by the hour I was happy to wait also (plus we were friends). There was seating for those waiting for a table but it was all full. She just stood there on her crutches, not complaining for the longest time and NO ONE offered her a seat. I mean it's obvious the girl had trouble standing.

Krista - posted on 05/18/2010

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I always RSVP, whether I'm going or not. I've planned many events for work, and it's always appreciated when people let you know either way. Not responding if you're not going isn't the best way to do things. For example, if I've invited 50 people to a catered event, and 30 people have responded "yes", 10 have responded "no", and 10 people haven't responded, then I have to tell the caterer to prepare for 40 people, just in case those 10 non-respondents DO show up. That costs us money.

It's also aggravating when people respond "yes", and then just don't show, don't call, nothing. I paid for food for you, you asshole!

Jodi - posted on 05/18/2010

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I remember being pregnant on a very full tram in Melbourne once, and there was standing room only. I think, from memory, I was about 8 months, and really struggling with my balance. Not a single person offered their seat (maybe it was the disadvantage of having a small belly during pregnancy). I ended up just asking the healthiest young person I could see :) I had no qualms making my point!!

[deleted account]

People are funny, aren't they Charlene. In my case it was the well-dressed young businessmen who ignored me. It took a scruffy kid to show a bit of manners!

Charlene - posted on 05/18/2010

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I always reply, whether or not I am going. It's just rude to not reply, especially if it specifically says RSVP by such-and-such date. I would hate to have a party catered and end up paying for 30 people and having 36 show up! Or even the opposite end and having 25 show up.

@ Kathy, when I was 9 months pregnant,VERY huge and obviously pregnant, and the only person to offer me a seat on the C-train was a very elderly man. I didn't feel right taking it, so I politely declined and he said he wouldn't take no for an answer! It's pretty sad that on a train FULL of young, capable people, the only person to offer a seat is someone who probably needs a seat the most! /Sorry for the rant!

Emma - posted on 05/17/2010

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That's nice i hope you said thank you loud enough to make all the others feel like ass holes ...lol

[deleted account]

Still on manners, but not on the RSVP issue - the other day I was offered a seat on a crowded tram. Was it one of the thirty-somethings in 3-piece suit and shiny briefcase? No, it was not. It was one of the scruffy teenagers with baggy jeans with his bum-crack showing and a crappy T-shirt!

Let's hear it for the younger generation!

Emma - posted on 05/17/2010

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R.S.V.P. stands for a French phrase, "répondez, s'il vous plaît," which means "please reply."

If someone puts RSVP its for a reason i always reply as soon as possible, if we can not be 100 % sure due to work ect i will let the person know the situation its just polite to do so as they have asked you to respond to the invite.
Im a bit of a bitch if i put RSVP and you don't get back to me and you turn up ill tell you to get lost but all my friends know that's what will happen so they always reply :-)

Emma - posted on 05/17/2010

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R.S.V.P. stands for a French phrase, "répondez, s'il vous plaît," which means "please reply."

If someone puts RSVP its for a reason i always reply as soon as possible, if we can not be 100 % sure due to work ect i will let the person know the situation its just polite to do so as they have asked you to respond to the invite.
Im a bit of a bitch if i put RSVP and you don't get back to me and you turn up ill tell you to get lost but all my friends know that's what will happen so they always reply :-)

[deleted account]

I always respond, mainly because I hate it when others don't! I hate planning parties or events and not knowing how many people are coming. I hate it when extra people turn up who I hadn't catered for!

RSVP means "Respondez s'il vous plait" - Please reply. So I always do. Easy peasy.

And yes, I'm Australian.

Joanna - posted on 05/17/2010

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It's worldwide, not just Australia. And it's one of my pet peeves. I hate when people don't RSVP, ESPECIALLY if it asks for one and gives an email AND a phone number to RSVP to (is it that hard to text or email?!)

I let people know EVERY SINGLE TIME whether or not we can make it, regardless of if they ask for an RSVP or not, because it's just polite. In this world of internet on the phones, and facebook, etc, it's so easy to, so why NOT?

Sharon - posted on 05/17/2010

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its stupidity - woldwide if its reached as far as Aus!

Every fricken birthday party i have to call each parent and ask "are you coming" so I know how big a friggen cake I need. I'd like to be a bitch about it but i love my kids so I'm not.

Jodi - posted on 05/17/2010

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I think it is incredibly rude not to RSVP to a party if an invitation has requested one, whether you are planning to attend or not. I felt really bad this week because I RSVP'd for a birthday party for Taylah a day late (because my friend had passed away, I lost track of the dates, and only realised after the funeral that I'd missed the deadline). People often book a birthday party somewhere and need to provide catering numbers to the venue.



Even for my wedding I had to chase people up, and yes, they were people who WERE coming to the wedding, they just hadn't confirmed with us, but we had to tell the caterers. It's rude.



It would be different if it was a party at your house, but when you have to have something catered, it isn't appropriate to ignore the RSVP.

Amie - posted on 05/17/2010

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We RSVP if it asks us too. Like Kati said though, if it doesn't say to RSVP if you're not coming as well, we don't call.

Every birthday party my kids have gone to has always asked for an RSVP and same with the ones we send out. However it's rare for the parents to not have something fairly elaborate figured out for our kids. We need to know numbers for how many to feed, ticket prices for certain things (like our daughters b-day at the zoo), treat bags to make and which ones with allergies are coming.

Charlie - posted on 05/17/2010

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For us its hard to RSVP because my fiance never knows if he is working until that very day .

Honestly ive never even seen an RSVP on any invites except for a couple of wedding invites , never for a birthday party , i have never used an RSVP on my invites to any parties we have held , my friends and i all do the same thing when someone is invited to a party we ask for no presents ( although they always do bring them )just bring a dish of food that way there is always more than enough food for everyone who attends , solves the catering problem and works out cheaper for everyone .

[deleted account]

We had a birthday party for my daughter this past weekend. Everyone that showed up told me via facebook that they were coming. I didn't hear from the ones that didn't show up. It was nice to know about how many people to prepare for since we were serving hamburgers and had party favors for the kids.

Rosie - posted on 05/17/2010

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i know i don't respond sometimes if i'm NOT coming. i figure my not calling them is a hint that i'm not going to be there. however, if i know i'm going to be there, i definitely will. also, i will rsvp if i'm not going if it specifically states to do that on the invite.

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