Responding to parents asking if they can bring uninvited siblings to a birthday party

Lisa - posted on 12/16/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am throwing a birthday party for my 6 yr old and invited his class of almost 30 kids. Several of the kids have twins in another class and my child knows and plays with these other twin in recess. He is having a party at a location that charges per head and it is an age appropriate theme party. All the parents with a twin have asked if they could bring the invited child's twin and I feel that since my child knows the other twin, it is fine to say "yes". However, I am also having parents ask if they can bring there older and younger siblings. The party is getting quite large and therefore expensive. Plus the party is for my child and his friends and not really appropriate for an older child. How should I respond to the parents who want to bring their other children.

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LalaBoom - posted on 12/19/2013

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It depends....

If you are okay with the other children attending and its just the $$, then you can say something like:

"Hi (enter name of parent here),
I got your message about (enter son's name here) party, but here's the thing, the location we picked charges per head and we have already blown our budget. I wish we could allow more kids but unfortunately we just don't have the money. There is an alternative: You can pay for (enter older/younger sibling name here) and s/he'd be more than welcome to join! If (enter child name here) is coming, the total cost is (enter cost) and it has to be paid by (enter date prior to party) to ensure reservation and proper head count. Let me know what you thin, we'd love for (enter son's name) to have more friends at the party!"

If you just don't want more children (30 IS a lot to handle)...

"Hi (enter name of parent here),
I got your message about (enter son's name here) party, but here's the thing, we don't have the man power or the extra cash to accommodate. I wish we could allow more kids but unfortunately we can't. I'm so sorry about this! I hope the kids can plan something fun for that day. I'll be sure to send a piece of cake your way for the kids!"


That's it, lol

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/18/2013

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Basically, I'd say you did the right thing with the twins decision, especially if he interacts with both kids.

But the other sibs? Tell each mom that asks that they're more than welcome, at a set price per head. Explain that the venue charges by attendance, and since the older/younger sibs weren't formally invited, mom would need to cover the expense for them.

But, seriously, those with older/younger sibs should know better than to ask to intrude! Never once did I take my "other" kid to a party that one had been invited to. If it was for the younger, I'd make a play date arrangement for the older (if his dad wasn't home at the time). If it was for the older, I'd get a sitter for the younger if dad wasn't home.

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Susan - posted on 12/29/2013

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I had a birthday party for my daughters 8th birthday I asked all her class to come
I also asked if 4 parents to come along and help with the understanding it was only for her class mates we had a story teller face painter bouncy castle and a good time was had by all.

Celeste - posted on 12/17/2013

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Totally understand!! I have twins and they have an older sibling as well. We've experienced the situation you're dealing with. I also have had situations where one twin was invited and not the other. And I'd never assume that the older sibling was invited. Good luck!

Lisa - posted on 12/17/2013

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Thanks for your posts. I actually did say "yes" to the twins since my son knows them and they are all the same age. It is a fine line between not wanting to be rude but also setting a boundary. After all, it is my son's party and the day should be about him and not what is convenient for a mom of one of his friends.

Celeste - posted on 12/17/2013

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A friend of mine had a party that was charged per head. In the invitation, she put something like "Siblings are welcome for $10 per child" or something like that.. Tough situation! I hope it works out!

Lisa - posted on 12/17/2013

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I would say yes to the twins so they do not feel excluded, but the older and younger say no to. Just explain to the parents there are already lots of kids and it will get to hectic if more come. I hope this helps.

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