Ridiculous things we've been told - a twist ---

Veronica - posted on 03/18/2011 ( 65 moms have responded )

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How about things your family/friends/doctors have told you - for parenting advice/tips, etc.

I love my gma - but for gassinous - she says to put honey in some warm water --- sorry to say granny, but babies cannot have raw honey.

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Jenn - posted on 03/18/2011

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That's not what they said Sharon. *rolls eyes*

My grandparents told me to make sure to pull back my son's foreskin to clean it. Thankfully I already knew better and kept them far away from diaper changing time. ;)

Sharon - posted on 03/18/2011

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That the whole world needs to stop eating and producing peanuts because there is a little girl in fl. who is going to die if she comes across the dust of one.

Veronica - posted on 03/25/2011

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People reallly need to shut the fuck up sometimes - always have to make comments to smash down our already fragile confidence in being a good mom. Im sick of that shit myself - Im fighting tooth and nail every day to do the best i can, teach my kids all that i can, cook, clean, do it all - and when people make comments about something that is 'wrong' or what you should or shouldnt do - really pisses me right off.
The wisest thing Ive ever heard in my life was this: Showing how and action speaks louder than any advice anyone can ever give. Talk is cheap. You want to help someone else out? Set the example.

Jenn - posted on 03/22/2011

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Karen, I'm sure that when people give advice, it's always with good intentions. But sometimes that good intention is bad advice.

Melanie - posted on 03/20/2011

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That as soon as my daughter cries, I should jam a plastic plug into her mouth ie pacifier.

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Sarah - posted on 03/25/2011

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*While pregnant, my husband's g-ma said as we were going down the road and passed a wreck 'Don't look at it, you'll mark the baby!'....I was like "WTH!!!"
*Husband's g-ma tells me every time we go to her house that my kids need to have socks and shoes on (in the middle of summer and it's freaking HOT out!! so I let them go barefoot sometimes)
*Being told by my hubby's mom and g-ma that I must not be feeding my daughter enough b/c she has lost some weight!
That last one really ticked me off...The reason she lost 5 lbs was b/c she got a stomach bug that lasted 3 days and she refused to eat much in the few days after that!! I mean, Really???!!!! UGH!

Meghan - posted on 03/22/2011

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my son occasionally walks on his tippy toes....he prances around and has a strut along with it....I just chock it up to his "swag." I had a friend over and she told me that kids his age (almost 2 1/2) who walk on their tip toes end up being ADD/ADHD by school age....

Meghan - posted on 03/22/2011

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my son occasionally walks on his tippy toes....he prances around and has a strut along with it....I just chock it up to his "swag." I had a friend over and she told me that kids his age (almost 2 1/2) who walk on their tip toes end up being ADD/ADHD by school age....

Karen - posted on 03/21/2011

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Philosophies on raising babies change from generation to generation, and sometimes change back to what they were. My "babies" are 45 to 34 years old, and we never fed them more than every 3 - 4 hrs. When our 3-yr-old granddaughter was born, she didn't have solids until 6-months; her 1-year-old brother was put on solids at 3 months -- same doctor, different thoughts. So, when suggestions are made by elders, they're made with the knowledge we were taught, and our kids survived.

Kim - posted on 03/21/2011

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Nuts are a choking hazzard that is why they say not to give them to children under 3, not because allergies, although my MIL gave my son a large chunk of peanut butter on a spoon at like 8 months. Again a choking hazzard.

Jessi - posted on 03/21/2011

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@ Kaleigh
omg yup! id forgotten about alot of those! some of them actually made me laugh and some actually creeped me out. i just remembered another one.
like not to send children outside with crumbs on their faces because then the "walking" spirits will come and bother then and possibly inhabit their bodies!? Ahh
yeh and the umbilical cord thing id totally forgotten about that! except i was told (and husband follows this belief!) that you have to put the umbilical cord somewhere near home- but somewhere good and wherever you put it thats what the kid would be interested in. in the garden- theyll like to grow flowers etc or if you put it by a tree they will be a nature lover or one dad kept his kids in his wallet and now that kid really loves money. ( who doesnt!? lol)
i try to be respectful of their beliefs because theyre important, but sometimes i do have to speak up like with the knife thing or putting a coin on the umbilical cord stump because its dangerous.

[deleted account]

my son will get cancer and die because i HAD to start formula feeding at 6 weeks that was from a now ex breast is best brigade friend if i remember correctly and as sad as it is her son has cancer and i was so tempted to say something nasty to her but ah we'll let it slide shes not young but shes not very intelligent

Merry - posted on 03/20/2011

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That breastfeeding which pregnant will make me super sick and malnourished and cause a miscarriage.
-mil
That Eric should be sleeping through the night by a year old
-sil
Honestly I haven't gotten much crap from people, I'm pretty lucky I know many of my parenting styles are controversial.

[deleted account]

I'm so sorry you went through that Jenn, very happy you got yourself out of there some people are just, pardon my french, fucked.

Jenn - posted on 03/20/2011

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I totally agree about gripe water being useless. And I forgot about my ex-MIL - she told me not to put my arms up above my head too or the cord would wrap around the baby's neck, she told me once that I was starving my son because he only got breast milk. Then again this was the same lady who told me that I should stay with her son no matter what because she stayed with her husband and he used to beat her, and she also told her son that if I wouldn't put out for him to do it anyway - sadly he took her advice on that one.

[deleted account]

Lol Jessi my ex's family (Native and superstitious as well) used to say all kinds of things for pregnancy/babies that were out there. You have to sleep completely straight or your baby will become breech, if you stop halfway between rooms or taking stairs your labour will get stuck and if you go back the way you came you'll have to have a c section because the baby wont want to come out, if you hold other children while preggo your baby will be a jealous person, if you don't burry the umbilical cord in your yard your baby will leave home early or wander off at some point, if you lift your arms over your head the baby's cord will get wrapped around their neck, if you forget baby items at someone's house they'll get pregnant (I'm horribly forgetful and no my friends dont all have 50 kids so that one is obviously bust lol), your supposed to put a knife under the babys crib mattress to ward off bad spirits and protect them from SIDS...yeah right wtf, if an older child starts looking beteween their legs like upside down it means you're going to get pregnant, I know there's more but I can't think of anymore right now.

On the whole alcohol debate lol all kinds of cultures did that not just Germans and it isn't just one kind of liquor people used whisky, brandy, scotch, rum, etc. Also a little fun fact my parents generation was against using alcohol on babies (thats what their parents did how horrible) yet they'd dump gripe water down the kids' throats to help them sleep/releive gas/colic lol my mom used it for me every night to help me sleep no biggie right until my doctor told her there was alcohol in it and of course I was sleeping better when she gave it to me lol little drunk infant didn't even know it. Thank God they've changed it they don't make it with alcohol at all anymore as far as I know. Anyway my parents, aunts, etc all swear by gripe water but it literally does jack all for babies without the alcohol in it, not saying it was better before at all I'm just saying the alcohol was why they noticed a difference and as a result think its a miracle worker now however its just a waste of money.

H.J - posted on 03/20/2011

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Red cordial to keep the engergy of a sick hypo child up! Needless to say my child becomes agressive with colours and when I explained this I was told give it to him anyway like hell!!!

Tracey - posted on 03/20/2011

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That a good wife should always have a c-section to stop her insides getting loose from giving birth, otherwise her husband may stray.

[deleted account]

"Oh, your milk's drying up" at the drop of a hat. As if the human race hadn't survived for thousands of years.

[deleted account]

When I was pregnant here is a conversation I had with my husband's grandmother:

MawMaw: "Sara, how much milk do you drink a day?"
Me: "Not much, maybe 3-4 glasses a week"
MawMaw: "Well how are your tits going to fill up with milk for the baby?"

Jessi - posted on 03/19/2011

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omg.. so many!!
to put a coin on my newborns belly button then wrap it with gauze so that it wont be an "outie"
not to let my baby get cold at all ever cause it would get really really sick.
to give my baby "tastes" of things like from birth so they would know a variety of flavors.
not to let my husband change or bathe my girls because that is a womans job
if you get cold when your on your period you will go insane.
ive been told the sugar water thing too!!
i find most of the crazy things ive been told are from my in law side and they are very old school and believe in alot og the old native ways- when back in the day they didnt know why things happened (like germs etc) so if the child got a little bit cold then later got sick- it was because it got cold.

Kate CP - posted on 03/19/2011

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Lessee...

When I first had my daughter my mother told me I didn't need a car seat, but to just lay her on the floor in the backseat of the car. Apparently that was where I rode in the car when I was an infant. Thanks, Ma.

My doctor recently told me that because my newborn son had slight jaundice to give him 1 ounce of water when I nursed him (to feed him the water when I switched sides). I didn't. He's fine.

My doctor's nurse keeps suggesting I give my 7 week old son cereal so he'll not nurse every 2-3 hours. Nope...not happening.

My MIL (whom I do love dearly, bless her heart) keeps insisting that a newborn needs to be on a schedule.

My husband for the longest time insisted that our son had his days and nights confused. I explained to him over and over (and he finally got it) that newborns don't have a concept of day and night. Everything before birth was just pink and muted.

My mother told me once that if my daughter got severely constipated that I should glove up and dis-impact her bowels myself. Thank Christ I didn't listen to that...and she never got that constipated.

My uncle keeps hinting that my son isn't getting enough food so I need to feed formula instead. He's also insistent that formula poo smells less than breast milk poo. I think his nose is busted. :P

Stifler's - posted on 03/19/2011

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Yes honey on dummies, establish a routine from birth ( haha he's now a 1 year old... routine... what routine?!), cereal in the bottle will make him sleep all night, keep him up so he sleeps all night, babies "don't need to feed during the night", let your newborn cry to "self soothe", breastfed newborns need warm water for "gas", brown sugar and warm water in a bottle will ease his "constipation" FFS WHY IS EVERYONE OBSESSED WITH CONSTIPATION, people bugging me to excessively burp my baby and bang him hard on the back and shit (not necessary IMHO). I'm glad it wasn't my mum who told me any of this, she's the best. Fuck there are some idiots out there with kids.

Joanna - posted on 03/19/2011

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My mother recently said to me "babies aren't dumb, they know to cry for attention." I understand that can be true... But she said this in reference to my daughter who was less than 4 months old at the time. And this was even after I told her I would let her cry for 5-10 minutes if I had something important to tend to. But she thinks I don't let her cry enough.

Or my pediatrician who, at her 4 month well check, said he would let me let her cry herself to sleep. Like I needed permission. No, jackass, I haven't let her do it because she is too young.

April - posted on 03/19/2011

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One CAN successfully breastfeed on a schedule, depending on what your definition of success is. I KNOW my definition of successful breastfeeding is not the same as a lot mothers' definitions. I define success as nursing to a natural duration (a minimum of 2 full years). If I hadn't fed on demand, I am certain my 2 year old would have weaned a while ago.

Jenn - posted on 03/19/2011

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Nope, we're not back to that over here at all. She didn't insinuate anything at all, she was referring to people she knew.

Sharon - posted on 03/19/2011

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HHMM the insinuation was that if the people she knew were that stupid, then the others were too.

back to piss ignorant are we Jenn?

Jenn - posted on 03/19/2011

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I'm pretty sure that Christina specifically was referring to people that SHE knew, if you read what she said. So your reply to her was really quite a "piss ignorant thing to say", now wasn't it.

Lady Heather - posted on 03/19/2011

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I'm sure one sip isn't going to do any harm at all! Probably good if they have teeth coming in too. My MIL was talking about a small bottle or something. Apparently that used to be normal. But that was back when the whole priority was making the kid sleep at all costs.

Sharon - posted on 03/19/2011

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The Japanese don't recommend feeding water - but a sip - one mouthful after feeding to clean their mouths. While I didn't know about water intoxication, I had been warned STERNLY about over diluting formula and not to feed ANYTHING but formula (when that is what I went to), I went ahead and gave the babies a mouthful of water after feedings. It was harmless and kept my mom happy that I took some bit of advice from her that had come from her mom. I hope to pass that down later myself.

Lady Heather - posted on 03/19/2011

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My dad's family used scotch. HA.

Oh yeah, my MIL told me the one about feeding the newborn water so it would feed less. I don't understand that at all. She got pretty mad when I suggested that might not be the best idea.

Sharon - posted on 03/19/2011

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Thats where I originally heard about rubbing liqour on babies gums - german families. having grown up in an age where ora-jel is available everywhere and I used frequently while babysitting, the liqour thing fascinated me. so I remember it clearly. hubbies family too. They're descended from a couple of those blond cultures - they were more specific about the blackberry brandy.

I'm sure other cultures do it as well but I heard it originally in germany.

Sharon - posted on 03/19/2011

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Christina - that is a piss ignorant thing to say. The german families I met did NOT let their children walk around swilling beer!!!

And if your ignorant supposition were true - hordes of german/icelandic/swedish children would be rendered "harmed". Instead of one of the most enlightened populations i've had the pleasure to come into contact with!

Christina - posted on 03/19/2011

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Sharon, actually, the people who told me to do this are the same people who would let their 6yr old walk around and drink a beer. Not the best advertising. And yes, actually, you can cause harm to an infant if you use too much alcohol to "numb their gums". Just like you can cause harm if you use too much medication.

Sharon - posted on 03/19/2011

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UGH - rubbing liqour onto an infants gums is NOT going to intoxicate them. Unless you're using "rubbing" as pouring it into their mouth. I'm not a drinker but as I understand it, some liqours have a numbing property. I was told to dip my finger into blackberry brandy and rub that onto a childs' gums to soothe teething aches.

And you can always tell an ignorant american who thinks so much as a drop of liqour will turn your kid into a raving alcoholic.

Overseas we frequently drank liqours with dinner. I hardly drink at all these days.

Christina - posted on 03/19/2011

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Dumbest thing I was ever told was to rub alcohol on my children's gums so they would sleep. Last time I checked, it is illegal to intoxicate your babies!

Isobel - posted on 03/19/2011

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I just wanted to throw in that my kids' school does not allow fruits and veg in the classroom for parties because they may have been cut with a knife that may have once touched peanut residue...even if you do it yourself at home with a sterilized knife...it's not allowed if it's not sealed with a list of ingredients on EACH item AND proof that it comes from a peanut free facility...just saying.

Now I'll go back and continue to read.

[deleted account]

Give my three months old butter to aliviate constipation. Give her water so she won't feed as frequently. Put a hat on her so she'll sleep better (now that I am sure does work - dangerous but effectiv), great how she screams, she'll have some strong lungs, breastfeeding doesn't protect anymore after six months, carrying my baby will damage her spine. She is only 18 months old, give me another 18 and I can probably write a book.

Rosie - posted on 03/19/2011

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i was told to put cereal in grants bottle when he was like 3 weeks old to help him sleep through the night.

that my sons need shoes to learn how to walk.if i didn't put shoes on him, it would be bad for his feet.

they should be potty trained by the time they're two.

Bonnie - posted on 03/19/2011

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When my boys were babies I was told to give them some water with sugar in it. Supposedly it helps keep their tummies full in between feedings. I had never had anyone younger than the age of 50 tell me this. It must be something that was done way back.

April - posted on 03/18/2011

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The nurse telling me to give my son (who wasn't sick) benadryl at the same time every night for one week so that he would learn to sleep through the night.

My mother who told me that i would need to retract my son's foreskin every day to clean it.

I am sure there are others, but I tend to tune out bad advice!

Bondlets - posted on 03/18/2011

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Along the lines of spanking: Stupidest thing I heard was from my outlaws that if I spank my kids they will learn to hit me and each other and will end up criminals in jail (mil's exact words). 8 kids later (won't count #9 as he is too young) I've not had one kid hit me or each other, ever. My sil (who refuses to spank/swat) has two kids who haul off and hit each other and their parents. hmmmmm... Not saying non-spanked kids hit (not by any means!) but my outlaws felt pretty stupid watching their daughter raise her hellions who slap her across the face while my children watch, horrified.

Honey water: No, grandmothers in my life, I will not give my baby honey water and neither will you!

Veronica - posted on 03/18/2011

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Im pro-spanking -- but I don't think that it makes my kids anymore or anyless spoiled than any other kids. I do use other forms of discipline as well. What I HATE is when i go to my mom or grandma with an issue - 'the kids are doing this, what should i do' they say, "whip their asses but good! that'll teach them!" That pisses me off- because its not about whipping your kids to get them to behave -- I exhaust all means of discipline. I also believe, beside discipline there is distraction, positive reinforcement, and the one that I like the most - my personal favorite is reverse psychology :)
Anyhow, this isnt a spanking/discipline debate -- but I absolutely dislike advice to whip my kids - this isn't the dark ages!

Lady Heather - posted on 03/18/2011

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I really don't understand how anyone could ever think that having to carry formula everywhere and wash bottles and crap would be easier than feeding out of a boob that is permanently attached to you. I hated formula feeding for all it's complicatedness. About the only time it was "easier" was when we got stuck in some crazy traffic jam on holiday.

Katie - posted on 03/18/2011

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that I should just opt for a c-section because they are way easier
Not to breastfeed because it's creepy and formula is easier
that my baby should be sleeping through the night a few weeks after coming home from the hospital
sooo many others

Minnie - posted on 03/18/2011

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About my three week old- nursling, told to me by her great-grammie- "Oh, leave her here with me while you go out shopping, she just ate, it's 1pm, so she should be good until five o'clock, right?"



And yeah, my extended family also telling me that if I don't spank my girls that they will turn into drug dealers and murderers.

Becky - posted on 03/18/2011

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Everyone keeps telling me my 1 year old won't drink other milk because I'm still breastfeeding him. It could be true, but I'm not really buying it because my older son took to milk immediately, even though he was still being breastfed. I think he just doesn't like milk!

[deleted account]

Oh I get that all the time Heather but it's from my dad he actually told me the other day my son was naughty because I don't smack him, there are two things wrong with that. 1. My son isn't naughty he is a typical toddler learning his boundaries and 2. I discipline my kid I just don't hit him to do it! Grrr

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