Routine

Cathelijn - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Ok I like my routine with my daughter but it seems no one else arounds me seems to care... My parents are coming to visit us soon and they love to go out all the time... I told them that when they are coming I am not changing Isabelle's routine. They told me that I shouldn't be so strict and to take her out to go and eat in a restaurant is not a problem... I don't think so... She goes to nursery and when she gets home she takes a bath and falls a sleep around 7PM there is no way I am dragging the child out at night...

Does any one else love their routine?? Or Am I the only crazy person out there..

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ME - posted on 07/14/2009

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Yeah...We stick to our routine as much as possible, and Miles lets us know when we've expected too much of him. My sister with no children is the worst...she really gets aggrivated that we won't bring him up to the city to visit with her and her husband...I should do that and then leave him with her the next day...maybe that will help her understand! lol!!!

Mary - posted on 07/14/2009

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Quoting Megan:

lol... i am anti routine. We kinda just do whatever. But Rhiannon is a super easy baby. We take her out to eat at night sometimes... but my husband doesn't get off til 10:00 pm usually- so she is used to late nights. But don't be bullied - and do what you feel like. I have freinds who are WAY too free and easy though- like one of our friend has a one year old and yet is always badgering us to go drinking with her- and i wonder ... if she has all the time in the world to party who has baby?

Well, to each their own. Do what is best for your baby!



What I want to ask your friend is how she copes with a baby the next morning??  The fear of trying to deal with Molly AND a hangover is enough to send spasms of fear coursing through me, lol!



Hell, even seven months out, and 2 beers gives me a bit of a headache that just doesn't seem worth it in the grand scheme of things.  I'm hoping that will get a little better when I stop nursing, since I do miss it!

Megan - posted on 07/12/2009

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lol... i am anti routine. We kinda just do whatever. But Rhiannon is a super easy baby. We take her out to eat at night sometimes... but my husband doesn't get off til 10:00 pm usually- so she is used to late nights. But don't be bullied - and do what you feel like. I have freinds who are WAY too free and easy though- like one of our friend has a one year old and yet is always badgering us to go drinking with her- and i wonder ... if she has all the time in the world to party who has baby?

Well, to each their own. Do what is best for your baby!

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I'm not much for strict routines. We have a basic schedule, sort of like an outline, that I follow. But I'm not one for looking at my watch every 5 minutes to see that we are on track lol Jacob's bed time is between 7-8pm. If we have family in town, he usually stays up a little late. If we want to go to dinner, we go and if Jacob gets a little fussy one of us takes him outside or for a walk around the restaurant and that usually calms him down. I don't want to be one of "those moms" whose babies scream and cry in a restaurant (or anywhere in public) but I also don't let it stop me from enjoying a dinner out from time to time. We rarely eat out so when we do go, it's usually something we have planned way in advance and I just try to be as prepared as possible. Like if we were planning on going to dinner Monday, I would make sure Jacob took his nap a little later in the day so that he's not cranky and ready for bed in the middle of dinner. I grew up in a very unstructured environment though, so this is probably just me working with what I know and am comfortable with. I tried the routine thing when Jacob was an infant and half the time I couldn't keep track of it. Half the time I couldn't remember which boob's turn it was to feed him from lol I had to pin a barrette to my brastrap to remind me.....and a lot of times I forgot the barrette too so I would have to "weigh" them in my hands to see which was fuller lol

Christa - posted on 07/09/2009

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Oh no, we absolutely stick to the routine. Luckily my family all lives here so they've adjusted to it, they know when she wakes up from naps and when she goes down, it's not even an issue anymore. Although for special occasions, we'll adjust it and she's always done alright. Like for the 4th we were out until 10:30, but we got home and she fell right to sleep and woke up at 7 on the dot as usual. :-)

JL - posted on 07/09/2009

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We stick to a routine as much as possible and when family visits they either adjust or they have to deal with an irritated mommy and upset children. My kids eat around certain times and if they do not get fed close to the same time that they are used to eating at... especially dinner time they will start to scream and cry and then the rest of the night just goes down from there and everyone is forced to deal with an uncomfortable stressfull night. The thing I have to remind everyone when they visit is that yes to them it may not be a big deal because they are here for a short time and then they are gone but I am left to deal with kids that are cranky and hard to deal with because there routines have been out of whack, so for my sanity and the kids happiness the routine must stay as much as possible or the visits don't happen. I know that this bothers my in laws but I am a mommy and what is best for my kids and me superexceeds what they want.

Mary - posted on 07/09/2009

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Oh....BIG believer in not messing with the routine!!! Can't remember how old Isabelle is, but at 7 1/2 months, my biggest reason for not messing with the late afternoon/early evening routine is the impact it has on her sleep...sorry, rest of the world, it's just not worth the price I'll have to pay later!!! During the day, anything goes, since the girl is not a consistent napper, but honestly, going out to diner is HARD, and just not worth the hassle, not to mention it's not quite what I would call 'enjoyable". We can take Molly out, as long as we adhere to some guidelines...must be seated by 5pm, no appetizers, just take my order, bring me my damned food, I'll scarf it down, and we need to be in the car heading home by 6:30 pm. This gets us in & out without any drama from her, does not not disturb the other patrons, and I am at least fed. Now....is it worth it? Kinda seems like a waste of money...honestly, I'd prefer to eat carryout at home, where everyone gets to fully chew and swallow, and I'm not freaked about the possibility of a meltdown, or disrupting the oh-so-important bedtime ritual. Sorry, Mom& Dad, but sleep and peace are entirely too precious to me these days!!

Ez - posted on 07/09/2009

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No I LOVE our routine too :) Milla turns into a loon if I miss her nap/bed time by even 15-20mins so I don't take her out at night either. Just tell your Mum if she would like to deal with the chaos that is an overtired baby then you'll go - otherwise forget it!

Emily - posted on 07/09/2009

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I am sooo the same way. I have twins so straying from the schedule would cause chaos. If people want to come by they know to ask what time works for us. Until they are the ones who will deal with the result of changing the schedule I will stick to what works.



I know my husband's family thinks I'm crazy (they only play with happy babies not bc they don't want to help but these are the first babies) and I don't give a crap! My parents go with what I ask, though they are retired and can work around my schedule at times.



Sorry I'm going on and on...you do what you need to and what is best for your immediate family...babies shouldn't need to be asked to adjust it's the worldy adults that should be able to do so. Hope I don't sound to harsh this touched a cord with me...not trying to insult :)

Sarah - posted on 07/09/2009

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I like my routine too, tho i can be flexible about some things, lunch times etc. Shia takes a nap at about 9:30am so i like to keep that as a set thing as the few times she's not had her nap then, she gets stroppy! Bedtime is another thing i wouldn't want to mess with too much! Shia goes down between 7/7:30pm and i don't want to mess with it if it ain't broken! lol!
I agree with Jo that it's not nice to be in a restaurant with a screaming baby! It doesn't make for a fun time because you're constantly on edge!
Some babies thrive on a good routine, you shouldn't back down as it's you who will have to deal with it (unless you take Jo's suggestion, which i think is fab by the way!!!)
Besides, once Isabelle is a bit older, you might not have to stick to the routine so rigidly, Cadence's routine, tho mostly the same, can alter depending on various things, but she's a lot older so she understands, you can reason with her.
Tell your parents that just for now you'd like to keep to your routine for your own sanity, but that in a few months, years whatever, it will get easier (probably!) to mix things up a little!
Hope some of that helps! :)

Cathelijn - posted on 07/09/2009

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I told them the same thing last time when we went to a restaurant she cried really loudly that evening but there was no one in the restaurant. so it was ok but she was only small then so easier to keep quiet... me and my husband usually just go for lunch and take her people seem to be a lot more accepting during the day... I don't want to sound like a crazy person but I really hate it when they tell me ow she will be fine, so what is she cries....

?? - posted on 07/09/2009

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Whenever I say something like "Gabe's kinda cranky so we're not gonna go, he's getting tired... I don't want him screaming in the restaurant." if they say "he'll be fine." I tell them if he does make a noise, they are the ones who get to hold him while we flag down a waiter to get the bill, and I don't care if we finish the meal or not... I refuse to sit in a restaurant with a screaming child. For one, how awful is it for a baby to be MADE to be uncomfortable just because grandpa wants to finish his pork chops and rice and two, how awful is it for us parents who get the dirty looks, and three, how awful is it for the other customers in the restaurant who want to enjoy their meal!



Tell your dad, if she gets cranky, you're out the door and he's paying for dinner, apologizing to the customers and you get to tell him a BIG FAT I TOLD YOU SO when you get in the car :P

Cathelijn - posted on 07/09/2009

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My mum seems to understand a little but my dad is a different story, he was just lucky when we were babies that he had lots of babysitters around and they could do what they liked.. Isabelle really isn't good when she gets tired and she will only sleep in her cot or on our couch. I don't think anyone in the restaurant would be impressed with us taking in a baby...

?? - posted on 07/09/2009

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I am a very routine oriented person, it throws me off kilter if my routine is drastically shaken - Gabriel does fine if the routine gets bent around a bit but me... I get as bad as to actually stress out sometimes. But only when it comes to things that aren't planned like getting a phone call at 1pm and being told we're goin for dinner at this restaurant at 6pm that night..... I will say no. I need at least 2 days notice for dinners, outings, etc if they will conflict with Gabe's meal times or nap times. We went on a camping trip 2 weekends ago and I had a years notice and gave myself almost 2 months time to prepare for the trip so I had zero stress level with that.



I know it probably sounds really screwy but I can't help it! Devon understands, my mom seems to understand just from being a mom and my sister gets it usually - Devons family don't really think about it though.



Stick to your guns, tell em you have spent the time setting up the routine and just cause they're in town doesn't mean your hard work gets thrown out the window!

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