SAHM's and Sick Days

[deleted account] ( 118 moms have responded )

This is partly stemmed from the "Is being a sahm a job" thread, but it got me thinking. I constantly hear sahm's complain that they do not get "sick days" to rest when they are sick.

I am a sahm, and I do work hard, and I love my job, but I'm not supermom--I take sick days!!!! When I am sick, my husband calls into work so that he can take care of our son while I rest up. We are married, so the pay and benefits associated with his job are all "ours" not just his. If he were sick, he would sleep all day while I care for our son and we'd still get paid, so it makes since that if I am sick, I can use a sick day too--He'd take care of our son while I sleep all day and we'd still get paid.

Surely I'm not the only one who does this. So what do you think, should the sahm be able to use some of the "sick days" her husband is entitled to from his job?

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Jodi - posted on 11/17/2010

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@ Angel, my kids are older. If I had a baby while I was like I am right now, I wouldn't be able to keep going, but because my youngest is 5, they are quite self sufficient :) So I don't expect my husband to take time off (especially as my kids are at school during the day), but I do expect extra help around the house because there is a lot I can't do. The kids have also taken on extra chores to help me.

Angel - posted on 11/17/2010

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I just don't know about some of you that say you are in so much pain and so sick but you still do chores and take care of kids. Seems to me that could be dangerous for the child/ren. I think my son deserves the best care and really, how good of care can you take of your kids if you are in so much pain or so sick. IMO there is just no way you are at the top of your game if you are that sick. Maybe I am just too much of a worry-wart, but if I felt like I was in so much pain that I couldn't walk(which would have to be a lot because I have a VERY high tolerance), I would ABSOLUTELY expect my honey to take off.

C. - posted on 11/16/2010

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Unless I have the flu, I do my job as a mom. I've been in a lot of pain lately- so bad that I can barely move at times, but I still cannot take a day off of 'work'. My job is a mother and a wife. I still cook/bake for my family, still clean, go grocery shopping even with stabbing pain in my uterus.. I can't imagine my husband taking any sick days just so I can rest unless it was a dire emergency. That just doesn't make any sense to me at all, to be perfectly honest..

Mary - posted on 11/15/2010

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Ummmm, okay...

Kelly, no offense, but you were a bit snarky there.

Perhaps because I too I am a nurse, I understand where Tah is coming from. First off, when we call out sick, it has a HUGE impact on both our patients and colleauges. I have to be honest, unless I was febrile, or actively hurling, I did not call out, because I knew what it meant to the others scheduled that night. When someone calls out, we try to replace them, but 9 times our of ten we can't, which means everyone else has to pick up the slack. I have to be honest, no one I work with would be "okay" with me calling out because my hubby had a head cold and didn't feel up to watching our daughter. We have sick days for when we are too ill to do our jobs, not our spouses. I'm guessing your hubby's workplace must not be too drastically impacted by his absence the same way my, or Tah's workplace is.

And...If I am too sick to work, and get to hole up in my bed and doze and watch TV...even I feel like crap, motherhood has made me appreciate that little luxury, since it's about the only time I get to lay around and watch re-runs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

C. - posted on 11/16/2010

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Oh, and to add.. Both of my sisters have 3 kids each, all aged 4 and under. Both of their husbands work. My sisters still do the cooking, cleaning and potty training even when they aren't feeling well.. Why should I be any different when I only have one child to care for while my husband is at work??

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Jodi - posted on 11/17/2010

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"Can't wait for my son to get older so he can help too lol."

Sadly it happens all too quickly :) I wish mine were still babies.....

Angel - posted on 11/17/2010

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No worries. This is a place for debates after all lol and you are welcome, no one deserves to be sick so long :(

C. - posted on 11/17/2010

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Some can, I agree.. I've had some that started as a cold and ended several weeks later b/c they had turned into sinus infections. I don't do much if I'm in too much pain. But I do try to at least throw some laundry or dishes in the wash. My husband can put them in the dryer or empty the dishwasher when he gets home, but I try to do little things here and there.

I realize that now, so I apologize for getting a bit defensive. Thank you so much!

Angel - posted on 11/17/2010

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@ Jodi- I didn't see your post till after I posted. Obviously if your children are older then it is a different situation than if your kids are younger. My son is only 10 months so if I were sick(very sick) someone would have to care for him and since my family does not live near me it would have to be his father. Can't wait for my son to get older so he can help too lol.

Angel - posted on 11/17/2010

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Big baby. Mine was only 8 lb 9 0z and I also had natural birth.
I agree with the cold part to a certain extent. Some colds can become very servere. I guess I forgot about the playpin thing. My son hates those things so he is never in one but I can see how they would be usefull if you are very sick. I don't think anybody's job would let them miss that much work. However, if I were in a lot of pain even with a high pain tolerance I doubt very seriously I would be doing any kind of work around the house. Oh, and I was not speaking of you in particular, there were several people posts I was referring to. Sounds like you have a very unpleasant situaltion. I hope you get to feeling better soon :)

C. - posted on 11/17/2010

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@Angel, I also have a very high pain tolerance. I wouldn't have been able to push out my 9lb 2oz son w/o an epidural if I didn't.



Yes, I am in a lot of pain the majority of the time and no it doesn't harm my son if I throw a load of laundry in the washer, if I do dishes or pick clothes/toys up off the floor when I'm in pain. He usually stays in a playpen most of the day until his Dad comes home b/c I'm usually in too much pain to chase him around. I don't prefer to do things this way, but my husband is military and cannot take off work all the time. I've been going through this the last 3-1/2 months. No way in hell would they let my husband miss that much work. On my better days, I just have to suck it up and get a few things done like most moms do.



Now, if I had a cold, I'd be getting more done. I certainly do not think a COLD is reason enough for my husband to stay home from work- that's just the most ridiculous thing I think I've ever heard. What happened to sucking up the little aches and pains to get a FEW things done during the day instead of complaining about being too sick with a cold to take care of your kid? Flu, I can understand b/c that takes a heck of a lot out of you. Cold, not so much. And I have a low immune system and colds can take a alot out of me most of the time, BUT it's a cold! Take some Dayquil and move on! It's not that serious!

Bonnie - posted on 11/17/2010

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Angel, I think what a lot of them are trying to get across is that if they are so sick to the point they can not walk that is when their husbands/partners would take off work to help out at home.

C. - posted on 11/17/2010

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Oh my gosh, Jodi! Hope you get better soon!

Now, my husband doesn't take off (he doesn't always have that option anyway) but when he IS home, he does do a lot. But if I am not bedridden, I try to get a little something done while he's at work that way he doesn't have to deal with it. He goes to work not feeling well sometimes. But he's military and can't always take days off.

Jodi - posted on 11/16/2010

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Well, I dislocated one of the bones in my pelvis this week, and while I can walk around (albeit in a lot of pain), my husband has been fairly quiet at work, so he has taken some extra hours off to help me out. And I have school age kids!!! So it isn't like I have them home all day.



Hubby has come home early 3 nights in a row to cook dinner, he has done all the washing for school uniforms, he has made the kids lunches, taken them to school, and is just about to help me finish off some of the physical aspects of my work (I also have a business at home). Admittedly, we own our own business, so it isn't always possible for him to take time off if I am unwell, but he definitely pulls extra weight when he is home to give me a little extra break.



I don't see the big deal, or even why it is a topic to debate, to be honest. I think we all do whatever works for the family, the type of jobs everyone has, and the family dynamic. There really is no right or wrong. Do what works for you, but don't expect that your situation works for everyone else.

Melanie - posted on 11/16/2010

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Ah Kelly you have an amazing guy there & i hope u appreciate him!
there is no way my hubby would use a sick day to mind the kids unless, as others said "i was broken or bleeding" lol
however our middle child has medical issues that require us to travel 200km to specialists every couple of mths & hubby does use holiday/sick day to come to her appointments whenever he can (if works not too busy) & it drives me crazy that he puts work 1st on those occasions that he doesnt come with me (mainly because i hate driving in city traffic & am petrified of getting lost lol)
i think it would be fantastic if "sick days" were for the whole family but in reality i can see its not going to happen & as long as ur hubby doesnt get sick often, i.e; between u ur not using more sick days than allowed, i cant see any problem with what ur doing....may aswell use them because they dont carry over to next year even if you dont!

A - posted on 11/16/2010

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My husband works two jobs- but his day job is with the business that we own so fortunately he can usually set his own schedule. If i'm not feeling well, my husband does what he can to help out. Even if its just letting me sleep in. It kind of would be ridiculous of me to expect him to do everything for me that day because *I* have to take care of my son anyway. I breastfeed on demand so its not like I can sleep all day and ignore my son (pumping doesn't work for me, btw). But he does help out. He'll change a diaper or cook for me. He's a very big help and I"m greatful.

But I guess I just don't let being sick bother me too much. I've been sick several times since my son was born. I've also had a root canal and gotten my gallbladder removed at 6 weeks postpartum. I never take any drugs (other than the anesthia performed during any operations) for pain for during or after the fact since I'm paranoid and breastfeeding. I remember having my gallbladder removed and I could barely walk and I wasn't supposed to lift anything over 10 pounds (my baby was 12 at that point) and my dear husband just didn't wake up to the baby like I did so I had to "walk" to his crib, get a step stool and get him out of his crib and feed him every few hours when he would wake up. My husband was willing to help but bless his soul I just couldn't get him awake- lol!

I'm not saying all of this to toot my own horn or anything- I guess when my baby needs me I just always put my own needs aside and focus on my child. That's not to say I don't ask my husband for help- because when he is home and I'm sick I defintely use it to my advantage.

I think some moms just accept it as part of the job- or their husband works a job that isn't liberal in taking time off. I've worked for some great companies in the past and usually get 20 days off a year or so- but my husband has never had a job where sick days were included. It all depends on the couple and how willing and able they are to help each other.....

Amanda - posted on 11/16/2010

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Oops, sorry Kelly, I had started a sentence and deleted it but didn't delete the whole thought. I think if he is able to then he should......

[deleted account]

That is pretty much my point Cathy--weather a working mom is sick or a stay at home mom is sick, they still need to make sure their child has their needs met. A working mother would take her child to the regular day care provider. A stay at home mom would have to find some way to have the child's needs met, whether that be using the "husband's" money to pay for a sitter, having hubby stay home from work, or taking the child to a relative's home is she happens to have them close enough to do so.



Amanda, you said you agreed with Tah, who said sahm should not ask their husbands stay home and help with the kids if they are sick, but your post read to me like you think that the husband should stay home to help care for the kids if the sahm is too sick to do so. Am I misunderstanding?

Angel - posted on 11/16/2010

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Ok. This is off subject but I went back and read all of the posts and think it is kinda funny how some people on this thread are saying that being a SAHM is a job but on the thread"is being a SAHM a job" those same people said it is not a job. Interesting.

Amanda - posted on 11/16/2010

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but i am not knocking the way anyone else does things, i think whatever works for someone is great

Amanda - posted on 11/16/2010

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i'm torn.... i can tell you that when i am sick, i would give anything for a day off, some rest (especially now with a 7 month old that started waking 8-10 times a night 4 months ago.....) i would give anything for my husband to get up with the baby and let me sleep more than an hour a night, to do bath time and bedtime and dishes and laundry..... but, while i understand it is no longer the 1950s, my work is running the household because i chose to be a SAHM. I don't have to take out the trash, mow the lawn, or perform maintenance tasks on the house because my hubby does all of that, (he also did some excellent remodelling of the kitchen!) and he does occassionally pull out the vaccum or the duster or the mop, and while he's not king of the housework it's still helpful. and lets face it, with a 7 month old and 2 year old i'm not exactly queen of the housework! i do a little more than the bare minimum. i don't expect him to take his sick days when i have a cold, but if i am really ill and CANNOT care for the children he is home in a heart beat or making arrangements for someone to be here.
i agree more with Tah

Angel - posted on 11/16/2010

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Hey ladies,



I know I am kind of late but I wanted to put my two cents in.



I am a SAHM and I think that it depends on everyone's individual situation. My son is 10 months old so if I got sick(haven't been sick since way before he was born) I would want my honey to take off. He gets sick days and vactaion days that roll over to the next year if unused. I think absolutely that he works hard for his sick days and is entitled to use them for himself, but I also think that I work hard too and so I am entitled to use them as well. He leaves the house to work and I stay home and work but either way we are BOTH contributing to the household. I wouldn't be worried about him getting sick and not having any sick days because like I said he also has vaction days and he could just use them. I think I would feel differently if he didn't have sick days or vacation days. If that were the case then I probably would not want him to take off. One morning I had a really bad headache and threw up and he asked me if he needed to stay home. I told him no of course(I didn't need him staying home for a headache) but it is nice to know that if I need him to he won't have a problem with it.

[deleted account]

I'm sorry I was not very clear: I mean when the mom is too sick to care for her children properly and in situations where the father gets paid leave from work. I honestly thought that was the norm, I had no idea there were so many jobs that do not pay for sick days.

When I get a head cold, I am incapacitated--my head feels like someone shoved a bowling ball into it, I vomit from all the drainage from my throat, and I loose my voice. I am not talking about a common cold, or a cough with the sniffles; I mean the kind of sick where if you had a job outside the home, you would call in sick to.

[deleted account]

Just to clarify if others choose to use their hubbys sick days that is completely up to them, but I would not and do not expect my hubby to take an unpaid sick day to look after our son when I am ill, as I said I am very lucky in that I have a very great family to help out.

Becky - posted on 11/16/2010

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If I have a sick day, Missy goes to work with her father so I can get some rest. He is very good at being there and understanding when I need to attend to myself.

Jess - posted on 11/16/2010

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I think it all comes down to what your situation is. If your partner simply doesn't have the option of taking time off than I guess you need to call in help from elsewhere. I know here in Aus you can get emergency care at day care centres if you have tried every other avenue. When I was in hospital recently my parents had Ava because her dad couldn't get time off. That doesn't mean he didn't want to it just wasn't an option due to the volume of work he had on. We both work for the same company and are both entitled to sick leave to care for family members, but the hospital grounds were flooding while I was there and that means our work is busier than ever !

Johnny - posted on 11/15/2010

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I've got to agree with Jenn. If your situation does not allow for your husband to take off sick days to help when you are very sick, for whatever reason, that is unfortunate. But there's really no need to bash people who have and choose to take the option. Is there some sort of martrydom thing here?

The last time my husband took time off to look after my daughter when I was very sick, I had a 103 fever and severe vomiting. She was recovering from the same illness. In our case, my parents were in Scotland and I would have needed to call a friend to help if he couldn't have. It would have been dangerous and irresponsible for me to do it myself. I feel lucky that his work provides us an option to do this. I suppose that if it didn't, I'd have set up a support system in case of an emergency instead.

It wouldn't be a big deal if you were sick with kids old enough to look after themselves, but with little babies, it's a different story.

I really don't see anyone here assuming that if a husband doesn't stay home with a sick wife that he doesn't value the work of SAHMs. I think that most posters who have that availability feel lucky that they can, and understand that many self-employed people, care providers, and others simply do not have the option to stay home from work. Passing judgment on that would silly and moronic. I think what people might be objecting to is the idea that SAHMs or others who use sick days or have their husbands stay home are some how lazy or whiny. Which seems to be a bit of a theme in some posts here.

I just want to say, that I'm a part-time working mom. I am now working on my 3rd cold this month. Every time I go to work, a different co-worker gives me a new cold that I then take home to my miserable, suffering little girl. It's pissing me off. I wish people who had access to sick leave and didn't NEED to be there would just stay home under their covers and stop making the rest of us sick. I don't get sick leave from my job because I'm part-time, but everyone else I work with does. They prefer to appear as martyrs to their jobs, so the "tough" it out. Their not martyrs, their numbskulls!

Jenny - posted on 11/15/2010

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I work AND do all the SAHM stuff. If I take a day off work to be sick I wouldn't dream of asking him to take one too. It's just not on the radar unless I'm in the hospital. If you "work" at home, skip the "work" part of the day and hang in your jammies with your barf bucket and some movies for the kids.

Stifler's - posted on 11/15/2010

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because people are assuming that if their husband doesn't take a sickie to help them at being a SAHM isn't considered important

Jenn - posted on 11/15/2010

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Yes, but when someone says that their husband is able to do so, why would this upset someone else? That's what I don't get. Trust me, I'm with the majority here and I do NOT take sick days and he will NOT stay home to help if I am sick. But it doesn't upset me that someone else can do that. Jealous maybe, but not upset.

Stifler's - posted on 11/15/2010

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This is a debate, the OP was asking if we thought SAHMs should be allowed to use their husband's sick days. Most people are pointing out that their husband either doesn't get sick days or needs them for when HE is sick.

Jenn - posted on 11/15/2010

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I'm not sure why some of you are getting all worked up over this. If someone's husband is willing to take a day off of work and stay home to help out so that she can rest, how does this affect you? Obviously they are allotted days off or they wouldn't be risking losing their job over it.

September - posted on 11/15/2010

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I was a SAHM for the first year of our son's life and there were two days in that year I had a horrible stomach bug and yes my husband took the 2 days off to take care of our newborn son, and he did it without even having to ask him to do so. My husband is lucky enough to have 4 weeks of paid vacation time and 3 weeks of paid sick time a year as well as 90 days (unpaid) family medical leave. We are rarely sick so he would never use 3 whole weeks of sick time in a year so my husband was happy to share his paid sick time with me when I needed it. I'm back to work and have been for almost 2 years and I have my own paid vacation and sick time so I use my own time when need be. I think Kelly, if you're sick and your husband can afford to take time off so that you can rest and heal, then I say go for it, I don't see a problem with it! :)

[deleted account]

What are these 'sick days' that you all are referring to? ;)

My ex was always self employed, so neither of us really ever got sick days. I pretty much had to FORCE him to stay home for a couple of days after he kept going to work w/ a 102 fever for about a week. Wouldn't you know it? 2 days of staying home and he got better. ;)

He did take a little time off when our girls were born, but not much... he took me to my dad's for help more than he stayed home in the first 2 weeeks. Thankfully I never really get more than a head cold, so it isn't much of an issue. Good thing since I can't take sick days now at all....

As for stay-at-home mom's doing everything... I don't agree w/ that either. It's a partnership. Obviously whoever is home more should DO more, but not everything. My ex agreed in the beginning, but somewhere along the lines he changed his expectations which would be one of the reasons we are no longer married.

Mary - posted on 11/15/2010

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Annika, I used the term "head cold" because Kelly had made used that exact term in a prior post. I honestly don't care what other people do in their own households when they are ill...UNLESS it directly impacts me. Since I work(ed) with none of you or your spouses, it really is immaterial.

You're not entirely wrong about your assertation that people who are ill should stay home, rest, recuperate, and not infect everyone else. My hospital does have fairly strict guidelines about certain things that you must stay home for: fever > 101, vomiting, diarrhea. You must also be free of these for 48 hours prior to returning to work. A simple head cold? - medicate (non-drowsy), rigourous hand hygeine, and you have to wear a mask when giving direct patient care (a HUGE pain when your nose is running!). Sadly, absences in my field are not easily replaced on a shift-shift basis, and it does have a HUGE negative impact on both patients and co-workers. Non-caregivers (management and such) have much more lenient leave policies, since their absence is not so critical.

I've been lucky so far; somehow, I've been fairly healthy since Molly was born. I'm now a sahm...and my husband has a job where he can't really stay home if I'm not feeling well. I guess, if I really got the flu (or some other significant illness), and my dad couldn't help out, he would stay home. However, it would have to be pretty bad for that to happen.

[deleted account]

I don't think Kelly meant head colds (though correct me if I'm wrong), I think she meant or at least I meant, something a bit more like actively vomiting and diarrhoea or severe flu.

And obviously it does depend on a) the age/s of your child/ren and 2) if you're putting your partner/husbands job at jeopardy taking those sick days.
My daughter is only 12 months. I think it would border on negligence to possibly leave her unsupervised if I'm stuck in the bathroom hurling in the toilet for hours on end. Also, there's the risk of passing it on to your child, especially a small child.

[deleted account]

This has become heated and maybe it's pointless for me to post at this point. Oh well...your getting my opinion anyway.

Like all things in life, everyone and every situation is completely different. If Kelly and her husband have decided that they can afford for him to take off when she has a cold, who cares? Not everyone has that luxury, but they do, and that works for them.

In our situation, my husband would not take off for a head cold. I didn't take off my teaching job with a head cold (it's too much trouble to plan for a substitute). If I had the flu, yes I'm sure he'd make some sort of arrangement. We are a partnership. He values the work I do within our home, and has told me (when I doubt myself) that my job is just as important as his. With the upcoming arrival of our baby, he's planning to take some time. How much time depends on how much it will affect us financially. It will likely be about a week, which I'm happy with. Now if his job were on the line, or he wouldn't be getting any pay at all for his time off, I would WANT him to go to work.

[deleted account]

I'm totally intrigued at people's attitudes to staying at home and what that entails. I think a lot of you are putting a lot of pressure on yourselves to be 'super women' or something. If your partner/husband works LONG hours and/or has a physically demanding job, I can understand but otherwise, I don't get it. Why does staying at home mean you have to do EVERYTHING? Why can't husbands help? And why do you have to be practically dead before you can accept help from your husband?

I just don't get it. If you're sick, the responsible thing to do is look after yourself and NOT GO INTO WORK. No wonder we have so many germs around, people just work through them, passing them on to all and sundry.

Cassie - posted on 11/15/2010

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I work part time but if I'm really sick or one of the girls is really sick, Corey has also taken off work so that we can both care for them. I don't see anything wrong with it at all.

For example, last month I had horrible kidney stones. I was in the hospital for one night then in bed for another day. Corey took both days off to take care of me and the girls. It is always his choice though. We have plenty of family who would be more than willing to take the girls when we need them to.

Corey and I look at it as a blessing that he is able to use his sick days for family illness as well as his own.

Dana - posted on 11/15/2010

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When I'm sick, my husband takes a day off of work to take care of our son. What else can you do? I see nothing wrong with it.

[deleted account]

Oh and I have to say I kind of agree with Tah that we knew what we were signing up for when we accepted the job, it is a 24/7 365 days a year job, but I feel we have fantastic benefits in that we get to watch our children grow and change on a daily basis without feeling the need to rush to get them to childcare so we can get to work.

[deleted account]

No the SAHM should not be allowed to use her hubbys sick days, they are his and should only be used by him for genuine sickness. Although if necessary he should take a personal day to care for his family when mum is sick.



I would not expect my hubby to take time off work unless I was in hospital. It is my job to look after my son and I am fortunate enough to have plenty of family around me who are more than willing to help if I need it. They have all come up trumps in the last few weeks what with my morning sickness, my abcess (wisdom teeth playing up again) and water infection leading to me being on bed rest (and only allowed out of bed to go to the loo), I am relying on them to look after my son and me :-)



I do bare minimum to look after my son if I am ill, so I give him easy food and change his bum and sing nursery rhymes while lying on my couch and hubby takes over when he gets home. I do not clean when I am ill, that can wait and any hygiene jobs such as loading the dishwasher and cleaning the surfaces hubby can do :-)

[deleted account]

"you get to stay home and not work"
um, no I don't; I work my ass off. I work just as hard as he does.

"You choose to take a job where the benefits suck and the time off is limited. It was in the fine print."
Who are you to decide what the "fine print" of MY job contract says? I don't work for YOU. YOU are not a sahm so just tell me who you think you are to decided what a sahm is entitled to benefit from her work?
I wrote my contract. Yes, I CHOSE my job--I chose a job that I find very fulfilling, allows me time for my children, and his AWESOME benefits. I will not be made to feel guilty for resting when I am sick.


You are obviously just bitter because you cannot afford to stay home with your kids. But like you said, that is your choice, every job has it's down side--I hate cleaning my toilets. Your job must be hell if you consider calling in to spend the day in bed with the flu "fun." I was in bed last week with a head cold, my husband was home caring for our son, but I did not find that fun. It sucked. But then, I enjoy my job...

Tah - posted on 11/15/2010

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Isn't that having your cake, some ice cream...a few sprinkles and some caramel too....you get to stay home and not work, he pays all the bills and takes care of you by going to work, for long hours, some husbands anyway..and then on top of that and more, you want the man's sick days too. I think when you are a sahm mom it is a choice. You choose to take a job where the benefits suck and the time off is limited. It was in the fine print. If you want sick days then you have the option of getting a job. Then when you have the flu, you can call in and take a sick day. It is fun, i just did it last week, of course, i was really sick...but hey...

[deleted account]

See, I disagree--my husband is only required to go to his job when he is well and healthy, so I, likewise, am only required to do my job when I am well and healthy.
As a sahm, I do not ask my husband to do any housework, I consider that to be my responsibility. Even when I am sick, I do the minimal cleaning and catch up the following week. All I ask is that somehow, the sahm gets time off when she is sick, whether it be through hiring a day nanny or having hubby stay home from work.

Yes, Tah, my son started school in August, so it is not likely I will ever need my husband to watch him if I am sick again, unless I get sick in the summer time, in which case, my husband will take a day off to watch him.

Bonnie - posted on 11/15/2010

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Same thing with me. I take care of most of the at home stuff. The odd time here and there my husband may throw in a load of laundry, do some dishes, or help with the bed time routine. He usually pays the bills although I wish it was me because I often have to remind him and he does it when he feels like it anyways.

Tah - posted on 11/15/2010

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I kinda agree with sherri. When I only worked weekends I basically had everything done. It was my job. Did he help..yes....but it wasn't much for him to do. He makes chili and hamburger helper....but we can't do that daily..lol..he is military so when he is deployed..guess what..its all on me..of course we have benefits. If we didn't have benefits I would go to work fulltime so that we could. If you are the stay at home parent..you do most of the sah work. Should he help..yes..but it mostly falls on you. Sick or well.

April - posted on 11/15/2010

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my husband is a train conductor (freight). they work 12 hour shifts, stay in hotel for minimum 8 hours, come back 12 hours to home terminal. It's similar the life of a truck driver. I STILL make him do SOMETHING. This isn't 1950 and he's not allowed to treat me like a 50's housewife.

Tah - posted on 11/15/2010

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@Kelly your son is school now right?, so if you get sick you get a little break.lol

Bonnie - posted on 11/14/2010

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It was like that for me for a while too when my husband was working two jobs at the time. At least 3 days a week my husband would be gone from 7am to 11pm. That sucked.

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If hubby isn't home then of course it's up to me. but you can bet that when he is home he has to help. WE are parents Not just me and not just him.

Stifler's - posted on 11/14/2010

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My life was like that for ages. Logan would be in bed when he left and in bed when he got back. Now he stays up a bit longer so there's actually something for Damo to do. But before I did everything.

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