Scandalous wedding announcement?

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Mary - posted on 12/23/2010

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How they came to be together is irrelevant to me. They are not the first or last couple to do this. In fact, I think they did the right thing in splitting from their former spouses if they no longer loved them.

I do think it was selfish and insensitive of them to publish their story in the NY times. It shows a complete lack of concern for the effects that sharing their story with the general public has on their exes..you know, the poor souls who got dumped, and are the "other" parents to those children. Publishing all the details of their story is akin to throwing salt in the wound, and just plain classless.

Jennifer - posted on 12/22/2010

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i think its tacky, and sad. sure, its great that two people have found love but its sad for everyone else involved.

"We did this because we just wanted one honest account of how this happened for our sakes and for our kids’ sakes,” Riddell reportedly said.

...yeah, except adultery is adultery. they need to own up to it, not try to justify it.

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Mrs. - posted on 12/23/2010

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I'm gonna repost my original response to the question on the other thread...because it seems to apply to the response of others here too. :

Whelp, I can actually relate to the story. My fiance and I, even though we had work together years ago, starting hanging out when he had seperated/move out from his ex. We have a lot of mutual friends. Many of them didn't even know that he and his spouse had broken up, much less me and my bf of 8 years had too. Add to that, I got pregnant the first month we were seeing each other (quite by accident as my docs had said I was never going to be able to have children naturally) and had to announce my three month mark around the same time people were hearing about the break ups (many of them family members). Now, we were never seeing each other or even talking together when our breakups were occurring but everyone assumed we had. This was difficult because both of us tried so hard to make the last relationships work and they just didn't. As well, my fiance's ex went around saying some really awful things to solidify those rumours of our being unfaithful and even saying I got pregnant while they were living together.

Now, this was not put in the NY Times but we lost many people we thought were friends because they chose to judge the order of which we did things.

I always thought the soul mate thing was complete bunk too and then it happened. Unfortunately, when it does happen for some people, it is not in a smooth fashion.

Now some might think, yes that's true, Rebecca but must you really print it in the Times? Well, you are damned either way in my experience. Those who are going to judge you and going to judge you even if you try to bend, keep quiet to suit their ideas about the matter. They will never be okay with it. Those who say, who give a fuck, will probably just say, "Good for them." Your real friends and supporters will sort out in situations like this.

I actually really regret playing down my pregnancy because I thought people would think it was tacky or not right given the situation. Those people still think I'm a horrible person, it didn't win them over. In the end, I was the one who punished myself by missing out on the joy of a miracle pregnancy that was never meant to happen because a few people thought I was a whore. What a loss.

So good for them. I wish I had the courage to be that brash myself. I would have enjoyed my pregnancy and engagement a lot more.

Dana - posted on 12/23/2010

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Does cheating have to be limited to sex though. What about emotionally cheating? I would be just as bothered by my husband spending time with someone that they were falling in love with than if they were actually having sex.

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Nowhere did it say "i started cheating on my spouse" . It said they left the spouse so they could be together, not that the relationship started before they informed their significant other. Its not adultery. Its just a divorce based on finding someone new.

Jennifer - posted on 12/23/2010

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no no, i agree no one should ever stay together for the kids if they just are not happy. i honestly don't know the whole story but it sounds like there was an affair, and that is what i think is wrong. if you are unhappy, get a divorce...the cheating first is what bothers me.

Caitlin - posted on 12/23/2010

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Adultery is adultery sure, but the way I see it is they wouldn't have been happy "staying together for the kids" in their original marriage, and kids do sense that. I don't know, I kind of feel like giving them "props" for being so blunt and honest about it. Just like I plan on teaching my kids, you can't help who you love, and sometimes people change..

That being said, I take my vows very seriously, but in these days of changing morals, many people don't, so I don't like to pass judgement.

Stifler's - posted on 12/22/2010

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it depends how long they have been split from the other partners. if it's like 2 months, then it's hell tacky to be getting married at all let alone making a huge announcement and expect people not to make fun of them.

Dana - posted on 12/22/2010

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I went about 5 pages back...Well, damn it, I thought it was a good debate, why won't people reply! lol

Mrs. - posted on 12/22/2010

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Someone already started this thread a bit ago...it might be on the next page. Not sure.

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