Sex Buddy

Sarah - posted on 08/02/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )




I have a friend who is currently 5 months pregnant. When she first found out, everything was fine. Then she had a huge fight with her boyfriend and they split up and he doesn't want anything to do with her or the baby. So she's facing life as a single which i admire her for doing so. She will have support from family and friends. She's had crushing news about her baby and had to have loads of tests done, which i witnessed and it wasnt nice to watch. Allas, everything is fine with the baby !

Before she found out the news that everything was fine, she was giving oral to one of her friends and then was bragging about it to me. And then last week, she was bragging about having a sex buddy, which is not the same person she gave oral to a few weeks ago. There's no strings attached, just sex.

What i'm asking you ladies is, do you think it's right for a single pregnant woman to have a sex buddy ? If you were single and pregnant, would you have a sex buddy ? And if you received bad news about your unborn child, would you be thinking about having sex with a friend or partner?

Personally, everyone to their own and stuff, but if i were single and pregnant, i wouldn't have a sex buddy. I couldn't possibly have sex with someone who isnt the father of the baby i was carrying. It just doesn't seem right to me, but to others it may seem perferctly fine. I wouldn't go giving foreplay to different people either. And if i received bad news about my unborn baby and i was uncertain about what may or may not be wrong with it, sex would be the last thing on my mind ! But as i said, everyone to their own.


[deleted account]

In the midst of crisis many ppl turn to sex. I would not look down on her soo much...During my 1st pregnancy if I wouldn't have had my husband I probably would have been needing someone to vent all my sexual tension out on! I don't think even good masturbation would have squelched that!!! Didn't have to worry about it w/the 2nd, very little desire that go around :(

I do think it is seriuosly risky behavior! I would be right there to warn her of the possibilities! I've only had my husband as a sex partner so other partners and possible disease scare the crap out of me! But if she's protecting herself and thinking about the baby, not avoiding it, preparing for it etc... then I don't think I'd continue to worry. If she is being risky in other areas of her life, not preparing for her child, and just blowing life off then I'd be real concerned!

Charlie - posted on 08/02/2010




two consenting adults getting pleasure from each other no strings attached go for it .

Several partners though would hope she is using protection so as not to pick up any STD's .

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Shelley - posted on 08/02/2010




I can't imagine how hard her life would be right now.I had fairly healthy pregnancies but was emotional and needed alot of love care and attention throughout and after. How scary facing the prospect of a sick child and no partner. Do i think a sex buddy is the answer no but does she appear to be clutching at straws and need help yes.

Becky - posted on 08/02/2010




Well, it totally goes against my morals, so no, definitely not something I would do. Aside from that, unless the father of my child was abusive, an addict or otherwise unfit, I wouldn't want to completely ruin any chance of working things out with him and being able to raise our child with both parents involved in his life. And I think that having sex with a "sex buddy" and giving blow jobs to someone else would probably do that.

Sharon - posted on 08/02/2010




Sorry but she's a dumbass.

If I were in bits about the health of my unborn child, sex would be the LAST thing on my mind. And actually - BTDT. When I was pregnant with my daughter, there was a chance I had caught a virus from the school kids that could have damaged her heart or brain development.

It was an AGONIZING week waiting for our test and results. Neither of us felt very sexy while worrying about our child.

Sucking off near strangers and getting banged by a "buddy" seems careless and stupid. So if she comes down with syphilis? It can cross the placental barrier and infect the fetus - smooth move shit head.

She's playing russian roulette and sadly not with just her own life. She'll be a shitty ass mother who relies on others to take care of their kid as well. Perfect.

[deleted account]

I've only ever had sex w/ one man and I only plan on ever having sex w/ one more... assuming he'll eventually marry me that is.

I don't agree w/ sex outside of marriage.

Joanna - posted on 08/02/2010




My only concern would be the health of the baby, so having sex buddies and possibly contracting STD's would not be on my to-do list.

Stifler's - posted on 08/02/2010




She is single and maybe she still needs to feel pretty but doesn't want a partner complicating her life (you know they do) or she feels like she doesn't want a relationship since she is having someone else's child.

Louise - posted on 08/02/2010




I know sex is a great stress buster but I don't think that I could do that to myself whilst pregnant or otherwise. Your friend must be feeling very low with the stress she has been through with the break up of a relationship and health of her baby but there are healthier safer ways to stress bust. Maybe she is using these sex buddies to make herself feel better. Just be there for her and do not judge her she will see sence eventually and regret it.

Brandy - posted on 08/02/2010




Sex is an absolute must for me when I'm pregnant. Luckily, my fiance and I have had a great sex life through both of our pregnancies but if she doesn't have that one person who she is in love with, then I don't see why she can't take her mind off things with somebody else. That being said, she needs to be careful and use protection, not only for her sake but for the baby's sake. And hopefully she understands that STD's can be contracted through oral sex as well. Maybe bring up that point to her because a surprising amount of people don't know this. Pregnant or not, a sex buddy can be a great thing for a single person who is not interested in a long term relationship.

[deleted account]

To be honest, i would not have sex with someone while I am pregnant, unless it's a serious relationship. I know sex is absolutely amazing while you are pregnant (was for me anyway) and I had urges constantly. However, I think that having sex with different people is a little risky during pregnancy. protection doesn't always work and some STDs can jeopardize the health of the mother and child. For example, herpes contracted within the last semester can KILL the child at birth, AIDS/HIV, etc.

I would be too worried about that to have sexual intercourse with someone who is not my life partner (whether he is the child's father or not). I can't judge as she is a grown woman and can make her own choices but I would not do it myself.

Tara - posted on 08/02/2010




I agree with Sara to an extent. There are so many women who experience the best sex of their lives when they are pregnant. To be without a partner would be hard, but then on the other hand there is also self pleasure. I think if she is using proper protection and is playing safe, it's not that bad. However I also tend to think she is on a slippery slope, if she is engaging in this behaviour to avoid her feelings about the split with her babydaddy, than it's possible this risky stuff will continue once the baby is born. Or... she is just trying to "enjoy" the last bit of freedom she has as Sara said.
As for the giving oral to some other friend, what did she get in return? If she was just giving to please him, again I tend to wonder where her emotions are at. Is it insecurity? A feeling of not being able to be alone, a feeling of needing to be wanted and needed by a man? hmmm...
btw, I wouldn't do it if I were in her shoes, I would just masturbate my way through it all. :)

Sara - posted on 08/02/2010




Well, hormones when you are pregnant can create some, uh, urges, so I wouldn't be too harsh on her. That coupled with the fact that she's probably feeling very insecure since the split with the babydaddy, and maybe she's thinking this is the last time for a while that she's going to have freedom like this. On the other hand, it is risky behavior, though I guess it's good that it's just one particular person.

People deal with things differently...I guess this is the way she deals with it.

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