Sex ed for 6 year olds too explicit

Tracey - posted on 07/22/2010 ( 26 moms have responded )

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I work in a primary school with 6 - 7 year olds. We have just been ordered to show the whole school sex ed videos we think are too explicit. For example my class will be taught "this is your penis, when you rub it it goes hard and feels nice, this is normal", same for girls and the clitoris, and will be shown diagrams of where all the body parts are. When I was that age I didn't know what a clitoris was and I don't think kids that age need to know.
Parents have no right to remove their children from the lesson as it is classed as a science lesson not sex ed.
Thoughts?

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Stifler's - posted on 08/26/2010

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Not every parent feels comfortable doing this though, tha'ts why there is sex ed because a lot of parents tell their kids bullshit stories about the stork.

Amie - posted on 08/26/2010

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Mindy,

This part here "And what they dont learn from us their friends tell them."

Is exactly why I am all for proper education. If the parents are not going to teach their children, another adult should. It's in a structured setting with someone the child can trust.

My own children have had to correct friends because they've muddled through and "figured" things out on their own. 1) because they are exposed like you say they are and 2) because their own parents did not/would not take the time to teach them properly.

It's our bodies, it's natural, it's normal. I will never understand the prudishness (yes that's how I view it) about teaching our children about their own anatomy and how it works. As time goes on the explanations become more detailed but this (the OP) is hardly going to corrupt a child. Well unless they've been living in a mommy bubble world. =/

Johnny - posted on 08/26/2010

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It's very appropriate IMO. Kids need to learn that masturbation and sexual things are OKAY. Most of them are probably doing it already, but knowing that everyone does it and that it is a normal, private activity will help them avoid the guilt and confusion that can accompany these behaviors. Unless we want to continue passing down all the negative things around sexuality that lead to so many problems in our society, we need to start educating kids from an early age. I'd be thrilled if this were being taught in our schools. And it is science, the science of how the human body works. I don't get why parents want to stop their kids from growing up to be healthy, well-adjusted people.

Jaime - posted on 08/26/2010

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Oh no...the big bad sex ed for our precious 6-year-olds! C'mon already, they need to learn about their penises and vaginas...they need someone to give them the truth, because even though most of the parents in this conversation agree with it, there are always going to be a few that make (what I think are) stupid decisions to withhold information from their kids. EDUCATION is NOT the enemy!

Julie - posted on 07/22/2010

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What grade do you teach? Do all students watch the same videos?

I think teaching kids the truth is ok, but would be more effective if the boys and girls were shown separately so they would actually learn instead of being embarrassed. Diagrams and body parts are essential to learn properly ...

If they are not being taught about sex, then it isn't sex ed. Masturbation definitely falls under the umbrella of self-gratification and not sex.

LOL This reminds me a bit of when I was in Catholic school as an elementary student. I was maybe in third grade and one of the fathers gave a lecture on masturbation and why it was wrong. It was a winding story that told of a man confessing his "sin" and their subsequent discussion on why it was wrong in the eyes of the church. However, we hadn't had any other education prior to that and I had NO idea what masturbation even was! Biggest waste of time, ever.

Seriously, if kids are going to be taught, they need to know what it is they are learning about!

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Heather - posted on 08/27/2010

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I think this class is fundamentally ok and means well, but I don't agree with parents NOT being able to opt out. If I want to wait to teach my children some things about sex, I should have that option. If I'm the parent that feels uncomfortable teaching my kids about sex, then I'll let the school do it. Whatever happened to parents having the freedom to raise their children as they see fit(when it comes to sex education)? As someone else pointed out, sex ed isn't going to prevent teens from making bad decisions, but sex being thrown in their faces from the time they're 6 or 7 just puts more pressure on them to have sex. We need to be teaching our kids self respect and protection of their bodies instead of JUST how to use them for self gratification.

Rosie - posted on 08/27/2010

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@nicole, i'm not sure if you were asking me, i think you were so i'll respond lol!! i am actually all for masturbation, i do it, and LOVE it, i'm not a prude at all, lol. i really don't know why this one bugs me. sure they need to know that it's alright to do, but i just don't see my 6 year old masturbating. i have a 5 and a 10 year old, and i know for a fact my 5 year old doesn't, and i'm almost sure my 10 year old doesn't. the age just seems a bit young to be piling on so much technical info. like i said, alittle bit later is fine in my opinion. :)

[deleted account]

Maybe there should be some out of school program that a parent can pay for if they want someone else to teach their children the facts of life. It is MY job to know my child, therefore it is MY job to know when they are ready for this information. I want my daughter to remain a child for as long as she possibly can.

I don't want to hear any BS about it being necessary either. I went through a milder version of sex ed compared to what they want to do now and I didn't have sex until I was 18 and only got pregnant when I was married five years later. My sister went through a similar experience and had protected sex at 15. My sister in law is in Catholic school and still hasn't had sex at 15.

You know how we should combat teen pregnancy? We should maybe tell them that they will FOR SURE get pregnant if they have sex. That might stop them in their tracks. If that doesn't work, maybe we should pass out free birth control pills/shots/etc at the age of puberty. Maybe Family Studies classes should be mandatory, complete with psychotic robobaby. I think these methods are just as severe as what people think they are doing now by "educating" at a younger and younger age. I remember being that age. Being taught something like this would make me feel that the world thinks I am ready to have sex.

Sure, masturbation is normal, but I didn't need some teacher teaching me about it in order to do it properly. I didn't need to know what it was called to do it. Why does THAT part NEED to be taught?

Mindy - posted on 08/26/2010

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sorry but this is one of my pet peeves. why should the school HAVE to show this to our kids. Tell me whatever happened to being taught at home. I personally did not allow my girls to see any videos because they did not need to I had to teach then at a young age what I felt they needed to know. It is not the school's job. As a volunteer at all levels of school i was shocked to hear what kindergarteners know now-a-days. We as parents expose then to songs and TV with worse things. And what they dont learn from us their friends tell them.

[deleted account]

If that is the extent of what they are being taught. We are just telling them things they already know except giving them the proper labels for the parts.

They aren't learning where babies come from. And I know some children that age who can give you all those facts (I work in child care).
I think it is fine for children to learn about masturbation and their private parts at that age. We already have to start teaching them at a younger age where it is appropriate to masturbate since they tend to start doing it around the age of 2-3 years of age.

When I became pregnant with my son all the children in my care were told everything EXCEPT how the "seed" that the Daddy has gets put in the Mommy who has the eggs. All of them (two 2 year olds, a 5 year old and a 6 year old) were told they had to wait until they were 10 or 11 to find out the rest.
All the parents of the children I cared for agreed we would rather wait till they were older, but as to how the baby comes out, how the baby eats and grows inside were all acceptable and all parts were called by the correct names.

So what are you really bothered by?
The fact they are being taught masturbation is okay?

Rosie - posted on 08/26/2010

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i'm usually all for sex ed, but i don't see the point of telling a kid about masturbation at that age. sure they need to know the appropriate names and such, but this one bugs me for some reason. why can't we let the child be a child for a bit longer? i think 8 or 9 is a good age.

Amie - posted on 08/26/2010

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I have no problem with this. Our oldest 3 know this stuff. For all the reasons Carol mentioned in her post. They are doing it already, even if they don't understand it. If parents are not going to educate their kids properly, instead opting to push it off to some arbitrary age when it's probably going to be too late, then someone should.
It's not about teaching our children how to get their rocks off, it's about teaching them biology and how their body works.

[deleted account]

Learning body parts, etc... I have no problem w/, but I do feel that the masturbation 'instruction manual' (for lack of a better word) is a bit much. No, there is nothing wrong w/ it and my kids know that, but I don't agree w/ it being taught in school at that age. I don't know exactly though. I feel a little awkward having the school teaching the kids things that I feel are my job as a parent. And yes, I know that not all parents ARE teaching their kids and that's what makes this neccessary. Doesn't stop my personal discomfort w/ it though.

Ava - posted on 08/26/2010

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I think the lesson is okay, but not for that age. I think at 6 and 7 they should be taught the names for them, and maybe around 9 or 10 be taught about masturbation in a refresher course about it before they enter formal sex ed.

[deleted account]

I don't know about this. I guess it's okay to teach about body parts but the fundamentals of masturbation? Not so much. I figured it out on my own and so did my husband, I don't think my kids need an instruction manual.

BTW, for the people that are talking about the "need" for early education to combat teen pregnancy, did you ever see the show 16 and pregnant? Each and every one of those girls had a sex ed class that taught them what they needed to do and they STILL thought it couldn't happen to them. Just saying, education isn't everything, teens need to be receptive to it, too.

Marabeth - posted on 08/26/2010

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i can't speak for men as i am a woman but it seems to me that if women are more confident about their sexuality they will be less likely to just put out to someone who asks for it. i think a lot of teenage sex is about girls trying to get guys to like them. learning from an early age about your anatomy, masturbation and the power of your own body can only increase your confidence. i'm not saying this is the answer to all girls confidence issues (everyone has some to a degree) but i think it's a step in the right direction. besides, it's every persons right to masturbate as far as i'm concerned. concealing the truth for x amount of time can only bring a certain level of shame to the whole wonderful world of touching yourself.

April - posted on 08/26/2010

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what's the worst thing that can happen? if they haven't already started masturbating, then they might after they see this video? i really don't think this is something that can scar them for life. and these days children are becoming sexually mature at younger ages. some girls are getting their periods at 7, 8, 9 years old.

on the other side of the coin, i would be pretty uncomfortable with how they will be wording their explanations. it does feel funny to me, but that's because sex ed didn't come to my school until 8th grade!

Mandy - posted on 08/26/2010

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doesn't seem like a big deal to me, majority of kids find out for themselves, nothing wrong with letting them know they aren't doing anything wrong.
Slightly OT but I don't agree that parents should be able to take their children out of sex ed classes anyway, the UK and the US has too high a teen pregnancy rate, this imo is down to ignorance and parents thinking their little darlings will not indulge in such practices.

Lindsay - posted on 08/26/2010

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I agree with everything Carol just wrote. I'll just go with that so I don't sound like a parrot. ;-P

Stifler's - posted on 08/26/2010

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I don't know, a lot of people tell their kids they could go blind etc. when it's a normal part of sexuality. I think we definitely need to tell them it is not disgusting or unnatural.

Jessica - posted on 08/26/2010

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I think the instruction on how to masturbate is WAAAY off target there. Other things to do with sex ed I think are better taught earlier considering we live in an 'enlightened' age where people are free to have sex wherever, whenever and with whoever. I think education is PARAMOUNT in ensuring the safety of our children. But the lesson in masturbating is too much.

Nicole - posted on 08/25/2010

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this happened to my 5 year old daughter and i complained.i agree they need to know what there private are and that it is not ok for anybody to touch it but to go as far as teaching them the names of parts inside a womans private and to tell them that if you rub your penis it is nice and it will go hard is i think wrong at that age.if my son came home from school telling me his teacher said that about his penis i'd give her something bloody hard allright.

Stifler's - posted on 08/01/2010

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I agree that this is science. Sex isn't just about reproduction anymore and masturbation is a reality for both sexes. Kids need to not be embarrassed about their developing bodies, masturbation and sex. It's caused so many problems segregating the sexes and keeping sex a taboo in the past and I think their hearts are in the right place teaching kids these things.

Krista - posted on 07/22/2010

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Feh -- most kids are rubbing their own junk long before age 7. They might not know the proper NAMES for everything, but most of them already know that rubbing those areas is a rollicking good time.

LaCi - posted on 07/22/2010

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My two year old knows what his penis is. And trust me, he's already figured out how much fun it is to play with it. No big deal.

[deleted account]

IMO this is fine because children need to know this information at some point and you will actually find that many children already know some of this info. Little boys and girls all 'mess' with their bits because it feels nice so why is teaching them about their bodies wrong?

Also we NEED to do something about the teen pregnancy epidemic and the increase in STI's/ STD's and the only way to do this is to TEACH children about their bodies and sex. We need to teach them when they are young enough to have not had sex. IMO if they are showing children people having sex or giving explicit details of sex that is wrong for 6 year olds, but teaching them biology is not wrong.

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