Sex Offenders Having Children

[deleted account] ( 34 moms have responded )

Soooo... I was watching this new show called OUR AMERICA it comes on the OWN network. It was my first time watching the show and they were going back to see how the people they interviewed were doing. Well on one of the episodes its was about sex offenders and how laws about what they do when they get released from prison is still a problem these days. The location they did the interviews at was in Florida. Anyways to get to it, they interviewed this guy who went to jail for 6 years and is now on probation. He is homeless and is married. He was telling the cameras what he did and his wife was sitting right next to him. He was talking all calmly about how with his first marriage, his wife had two kids that were 6 and 4 and he sexually assaulted them, and how they would preform oral sex on him and all this stuff.

I cant even begin to express how sick to my stomach i was even listening to this! And here he was talking about it like it was nothing and his current wife was there rubbing his back comforting him!!! Like it was so hard for him to talk about it. I just couldnt believe what i was hearing. Well then it goes on to say how his ( current) wife has a house and he is there during the day but has to go back to the woods during the night because he cant stay there. Then it shows there DAUGHTER. A little baby and he was the one taking her a bath in the sink. . . . This really really disturbed me down to my core. I wanted to just take that child. All of this things were rushing throw my mind and this really hurt my heart.

They asked him if he thinks he will ever offend again and he says that if he ever did or even had that thought he would kill himself. He has been going to therapy everyday and they said that offenders that keep up with their therapy are less likely to offend again and that it really does help them to recover.

After a couple months his wife ended up losing their house so their child went to live with her grandparents. I have to say i was very relieved but then more thoughts came into my head and so i have a couple questions :

Do you think its ok for sex offenders to have children of their own??

I wonder if the grandparents knew that the father of the child was a sex offender? If so how were they ok with the child remaining in that household?? Would it not be eay to gain custody of that child?? And if they did know then how much safer is that household for that child to be going to if they were ok with that fact??

Can the state not take the child away??

What kind of woman is his wife that 1. She is ok marrying a sex offender 2. she is ok with the sexual crimes he commited 3. is ok to have a baby with him???

That episode just really disturbed me and i could not believe what i was watching! It made me feel ugly even watching it!

WHAT DO YOU THINK??

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Dana - posted on 04/03/2011

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I think in that situation he should never be around children. It's unfortunate that his wife is the way she is but, we all know that there are tons of people out there who aren't too smart. And I don't mean that in a bad way, there's just literally tons of people out that who are incapable of having any kind of intelligence.



Unfortunately though, there are many cases of sex offenders who I don't consider a sex offender. There are (or were) several cases in the state of FL of boys who were labeled as sex offenders because they were 17 and the girls they were dating were 16. Or other states where boys are 18 and the girls are 17 and because the parents don't like the boys, they are legally able to press charges and ruin that boy's life.



So there are some people who will walk around with that label for life and they've done no wrong. It would be unfair to continually ruin their life by saying they shouldn't be allowed to have kids And ideally it would be great for states to rework their laws and use common sense when handing out the label of "sex offender".

Kimberly - posted on 04/05/2011

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well its been years later and we talk and talk and talk even about the hard stuff. i know its very rare to have this level of forgivness and understanding that not just me was a victim but him too

Sharon - posted on 04/03/2011

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Stop the insanity. No - child molestors should not have children. There are somethings, if you do them, you lose your rights.

Child molestors have done something that will NEVER go away. They stole something, destroyed something, the child and their family will never get it back. So the molestor - in my opinion should be killed as soon as proven guilty or housed in gen pop in prison. either or, its a done deal.

But failing those options - they should be castrated. In the case of men, they should lose their nuts and dick. In the case of women, they should have their vag fused shut and a full hysterectomy done.

There should be a lifetime sentence against them for EVER getting near a child, much less cohabitating with one.

Yeah I know castration et all will not stop a determined molestor/rapist but its a start.

Sally - posted on 09/16/2012

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@Amber, I totally agree with you on peoples lifes being ruined and have always argued that people who are accused, should have the same rights as the accuser, no names etc. I agree it is so wrong that a persons life can be ruined. The old say no smoke without fire. I do have to argue that is very different with young children, they can be groomed, go along with it even lie to protect the abuser for number of reasons. Your special, your destroy the family or the best for me at 8 taking an overdose in front of the child. I do understand what your saying but most children don't lie about it and it doesn't come to light until there is a chance of babies, yes it can go on that long. Then the child grows up hating themself scos they didn't say no. Thats more than I meant to say,sorry. Don't ever doubt your children. To many look the otherway but yes until they are found guilty they along with their family the same protection.

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Kristi - posted on 09/18/2012

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=p...



That is a link to a PDF file from the DOJ and National Institute of Justice research study about child molestation, it covers everything. It is about 14 pages long and in about 10 font so I didn't read the whole thing but there are a lot of specifics. There is a chart in it on like the 2nd or 3rd page of the actual paper labeled Adult Reports of Child-Focused Sexual Behavior. Here are a few highlights: (I couldn't copy and paste it : ( )



**561 subjects were recruited through various means.

**They were given a lengthy structured, clinical interview covering standard demographic information along with a history of deviant sexual behavior.

**These subjects reported a total of 291,737 paraphilia acts (preference for or obsession with unusual sexual practices, pedophilia, sadomasochism or exhibitionism) committed against 195,407 victims under the age of 18.

**The 5 most common:

---Nonincestuous child molestation with a female victim 224 out of 561 committed 5,197 acts against 4,435 victims.

---same but with a male victim 153 out of 561 committed 43,100 acts against 22,981 victims.

---Incest with a female victim 159 out of 561 committed 12,927 acts against 286 victims.

---Incest with a male victim 44 out of 561 committed 2,741 acts against 75 victims.

---Rape 126 out of 561 committed 907 acts against 882 victims.

**The first 5 categories included a total of 64,872 acts.The total number of subjects and victims cannot be determined since the categories are overlapping (i.e. many subjects reported multiple paraphilias and hence were recorded in multiple categories).



That is SICK! Anyways, there is a TON more information in this report! It talks about characteristics, physiology, psychological patterns, classifications, etc., etc.



The only "treatment" that has made any difference is cognitive behavior therapy. I found that information in both this study and in an article from scienceamerican.com. However, the overall statistics between both resources vary widely.



I still maintain that child molestators and rapists should be castrated, immediately. I don't think they should be around children of any kind, theirs or not. Do you really want to chance a repeat offense? I don't. When it comes to protecting children we must always err on the side of caution. It is not like we are talking about a burgaler or car theif. And even with those types of crimes we take extra precautions to avoid becoming a victim...lock doors and windows, don't leave wallet or purse in the car, alarm systems, park near the lights, etc. If I don't do those things, I'm just begging to get ripped off. Hence, putting a pedophile or rapist back out on the street is asking for trouble. If we can remove a risk, we should do it.



"it has been and will be a very steep price to pay for someone who made a bad decision choosing his sexual partner when he was 20." --Mike



You make it sound like he was some dumb kid. 20 YEARS OLD is an ADULT. It was not a bad decision, it was a conscious choice. He knew what he was doing was wrong. If he didn't then he must have a major learning disability. There is no acceptable excuse for a 20 year old man to be having sex with a 16 year old child. If that was his daughter I highly doubt he would stop with a beating. Not to mention, that violence solves everything, right?



"i admit i am a little rust on my definitions but i am pretty sure that no rehab means he will abuse again , and most likely means he probably will but there is a chance he will not ."--Mike



If a drug addict goes through rehab and seems to have kicked the habit, upon release would it make sense to put him right back in the environment that he came from? Should we tempt him/her with an 8-ball on his living room table just because there is now a "chance" he might not use it? I'm going with a resounding "NO" on that one. So why on earth should we make it easier for a sexual predator to get his prey? The children don't deserve to have their worlds turned upside down so we can keep them away from the abusers, the abusers should automatically be kept from them.



I'm growing tired of your excuses and desire to give pervs the benefit of the doubt. I may be incorrect but, I don't think you (men) have a right to be participating in these threads. To my knowledge, you can log on to your child's profile and that is supposed to be it. I will be fact checking that asap. If you are so sympathetic to the plight of the sex offenders go find some and let them cry on shoulder because I don't want to hear it anymore.

America3437 - posted on 09/17/2012

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MR.Stone.... I have been trained in child abuse and there is an immediate risk in this case. You can disagree if you like but the fact of the matter is that this child has been put in immediate danger of harm and she should be removed from the home! As far as rehab of abusers....There is no such thing! I disagree with you. This man has already been to jail for this and more than likley will abuse again just as a rapiest would rape again!

America3437 - posted on 09/17/2012

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She should be charged with child endangerment simply because she has put the child in immediate risk of harm! There is no rehabilation for child sex offenders and more than likley he will abuse his own children.

America3437 - posted on 09/17/2012

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HELL NO!!!! I think he should be stripped of all his parental rights and she should be charged with child endangerment!!! This is the fucked up world we live in! Who the hell would want to have sex let alone a child with someone that has history of abuseing children!?! This doesn't just make me sick it angers me to my core!

Kristi - posted on 09/17/2012

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I am baffled at some of the recent comments...



@Mike--ask your friend what he would do if a 20 year old MAN was fucking his 16 year old CHILD, now that he has a daughter of his own. You can be damn certain I would do the same exact thing as that girl's parents did. WTH is his problem at 20 he has to be involved with a 16 year old? 4 years is not a big age difference between 2 adults but sure is between a 16 year old and a 20 year old. He most definitely should have known better. However I do agree that child molesters should be killed on the 2nd go round.



@Amber--not being able to remember your homework or what you had for breakfast are irrelevant things that a child doesn't need to hold on to. Being sexually abused tends to stick with a person. It is a little more memorable than breakfast, what your outfit was or who won the Yankees game.



I have yet to see a case where someone is convicted without any sort of proof at all. Most rape cases don't go to trial because it turns out to be he said/she said if it was someone they know or if there is no additional signs it was a rape, ie: being beat or severe trauma to her body.



You can teach your children what situations may be dangerous but you can't teach them to suspect that Uncle Joe, whom they love and have fun with and can't wait to see him again, is in fact grooming them. Look at the whole mess with Penn State.



As for the OP, I whole heartedly believe rapists and child molesters should be castrated, therefore unable to procreate. I have an impossible time understanding what wife 2 was thinking. The authorities probably never caught the stupid bastard at her house because he left every night and no one reported him as being there. My daughter's oldest sister (by father and first wife) had her kids taken away because of domestic violence. One of the terms of getting her children back was that her boyfriend could not be within 500 feet of them. So, she told the court he was gone. They believed her and gave her the kids back. She just kept sneaking around with him, letting him sleepover, etc. all the while he would beat her on a regular basis, but she "loved" him so she never turned him in. I suspect that is the case with wife 2, not necessarily the beating part just the sneaking around part, which would be why the State couldn't take away her child. I would hope the grandparents had no knowledge of this.



I don't think I could have watched that all the way through. I am very passionate about victim's rights and that the level of justice for rapists and molesters is way too passive. I think they should get 25 to life so they can never repeat again. Because kiddie pervs do not change. They may or may not offend again but I don't really want to take the chance to find out. I would also get sick to my stomachif I were to watch that show in it's entirety but I would also get so enraged that I would be pissed off and disgusted all night and that is not fair to my daughter.



Just for the record Mike, I don't think statuatory rapists should receive the punishments I have mentioned.

Sally - posted on 09/16/2012

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@Mike, I totally agree, it is wrong that he was labelled that way, it is wrong that a man/womans name can be published before they are found guilty, it makes me angry. Even as saviou(sp) of abuse I can say this. I think there should be a change in the law and the way these people are treated but most people will see the name but not ask,what did they do, not even sure some should be on the list. Keep it for people who are a real danger. Id also love to believe that people who are sexually attracted to children can control thoses urges, sadly I don't believe it unless they are monitered closely. Every child is an opertunity for grooming.

Amber - posted on 09/16/2012

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@Sally you cant decide 100% for sure if they are wrong or not, but thats the huge issue. How is one persons, families life more important than anothers? so if a child or person says something happened and they take it to court but there is no physical proof the accused person is destroyed, their kids and their spouse are destroyed. What then if it comes out it was false, or that it was the wrong person? The accused person and their family will never be put right. so its completely devastating all around, right, wrong false or true. Kids have committed suicide when a parent is labeled, and the label carries to them due to stigma, and then its been discovered there were false accusations made. There just should be more needed in cases, and its always something that should be case by case. You cant use blanket laws for this because the variables are too many. its not like you run a red light, you either did or didnt and the camera caught it. As for protecting kids, I discovered that you can use basic guidelines for being aware of situations where issues or opportunities can arise and instead of looking at it as these are situations people will use to their advantage to harm children, I took it and taught my child situations to never put themselves in. ex. children that play away from the group are more likely to be targeted than children playing in a group. so I instead taught that even if the activity isnt what your interested in stay right there and be part of that group still while not completely taking an active role. Where I work we have classes on what to do, not on how to protect kids but on how to protect ourselves from appearing inappropriate. I realized that its great information that can be shared with your kids to help them stay out of those situations. depending on the age, you can inform your kids as little or as much as you feel they are ready for. We teach our kids to watch for cars when crossing the road, or earthquake drills and fire drills but why are we not teaching them how to be aware and how to talk to someone when its needed. Boys are especially vulnerable and are afraid to talk. We can never protect anyone 100% but we can help them have an idea of unsafe vs safe. We can arm them with the security that talking to you openly is accepted, no matter what they say. That can relieve a huge amount of stress a child or anyone has if they feel someone is doing something not quite right. I feel that ive laid ground work when my son was young about being aware, without mentioning topics that are too advanced or that mar his childhood.

Sally - posted on 09/16/2012

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@ Amber, try telling that to all the adults and children out thre. I promise you there is nothing wrong with my memory or my siblings. I do think that it should be graded though. How cn you decide if your child is remembering something or not, how to you protect them. Speachless

Amber - posted on 09/16/2012

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There may be a list to look up these so called offenders, but be realistic. Look and pay attention to what your reading. They are not allowed to live in on place, the list shows an address or lists homeless. How is that even slightly helpful? Being on this list means they are forced to move around and do not stay in one place, so if you are so concerned about knowing where they are, this isnt going to tell you. You can get put on the list for peeing in public, you can be convicted with no proof, just someones accusation. I would not have kids with someone whos answer to "will you offend again?" is "if i did id kill myself" feels like a copout. People are capable of change and I am not God, so I will not say who can and cant change. I will be aware of my own children and I will take responsibility for teaching them how to be aware of themselves and the world around them. I can not judge the woman who loves someone who carries a label like that because I am not in her situation. I know that the media likes to inflame this topic and that the laws are confused, mixed up and completely wrong. The general public hears the term sex offender and immediately knows without a doubt the person is guilty. Yet they dont have a clue. So people need to become educated before they jump on the bandwagon. i have seen innocent people be accused and because the way the laws are there isnt any need to prove they did it. Juries are full of people who are uninformed and who immediately assume the worst. Like people who read news articles do, and respond. read some comments and youll get a good example of how a person can be found guilty with no proof. My child personally cant remember what he had for breakfast 4 months ago, or what his homework was last month, or why he was on timeout 2 weeks ago and cried because he missed out on an activity he really wanted to do. kids memories dont work flawlessly. Yet lives are destroyed based on this. You can have an opinion and an idea but dont judge someone else because truly there is always 100 times more to the story than you will ever know, unless you take the time to find out more, or your in the same position.

Sally - posted on 09/14/2012

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Men who prey on children are very clever. They can look to the outside word as someone rrformed while behind closed doors they are grooming the child to go along with it, to be part of a secert that makes the child feel special, this can go on for years before being discovered. Leaving the child with a lifetime of shame because she didn't say no. Men who find children sexual attractive will mever change. I know because I am that child.

[deleted account]

sex offenders, particularly those that offend against children, have a very high rate of relapse. i would not support them having children and certainly not ever being alone with them. i'm not sure how a woman could knowinlgy be with someone who had molested a child but then i am not her. my guess is that she has some serious issues herself. at the end of the day though,m you can't stop people from having kids and the state doesn't have the power, as far as i know, to taske kids away if their parent is a convicted sex offender. they have to feel that the child is at immediate risk for harm and if the person has not relapsed and is attending therapy and getting good reports they probably would not remove the child form the home

Stifler's - posted on 04/05/2011

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We don't have access to that info in Australia either. I wish we did. I hate how they can go back into society with new names and a clean slate. The people they abused will never forget what happened.

Dana - posted on 04/05/2011

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That's crazy Jennifer! It just seems like common sense to have access to where sex offenders live in your area.

Kimberly - posted on 04/05/2011

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no dont get me wrong in cases like the one who as an adult was proven to molest his daughter and still having another child with the wife, thats messed up in all directions in that specific case no i agree they should not have chrildren be around chrildren. and the mom is absalutly out of her mind crazy for letting that happen but i do know that there is nothing that i can do to change it and i am sorry to say but he will affend again and more than likely the mother will not believe the child especially if she trusts him this much

Jenni - posted on 04/05/2011

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Yeah, Canadian laws are designed to protect the offender not the children.... it disgusts me. Did you also know that unlike in the US we are not allowed to know where sex offenders reside nor can citizens look them up on a database. Something to do with the privacy act. Nice eh? No concern for the danger they pose to children, we have to make sure they're nice and comfy and protected while they're continuing to molest children. Who protects the children???

Kimberly - posted on 04/05/2011

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i dont believe there is a specific label for the ability to castrate my brother was considered a danger to society and to himself ran away from treatment and still got reabilitated a rare case yes but it still happens 5 men in our area have a sex affence on there record all five started out getting caught with the girlfriend and being charged by the parents. five charges later they are 23 and 24 having sex with 16 year oilds all willing participants. these girls chase the men while there in jail and in prison for these crimes because they have chrildren together. you have my step dad you has been accused by my mentaly handicaped sister of raping her never charged and never pled guilty to never proven either way has his life completly destroyed his life he is no longer allowed to be her gaurdian. my point is you cant lable even a sex offender can not be put into catagories

[deleted account]

Thats crazy how in Canada that isnt a law. Kimberly im sorry about what happened to you and your sister but the fact that you kept a relationship with your brother is a little crazy to me! Not in a bad way or anything. Yes i know Mandian i just couldnt believe it.

Mandian - posted on 04/05/2011

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I don't think sex offender should be allowed custody if they have children. When some people have children, it makes us realize that those people should never be allowed to have children. I think it is horrible that this guy's wife was ok with the fact that he sexually abused his previous step-children.

Kimberly - posted on 04/05/2011

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ok wow. i have a brother who affended me and my sisters at the age of nine we adopted him and found out his mother abused him yes i believe people can change but my brother went threw 19 years of the most intence gruling trearment to get where he is at do i think he should have chrildren HELL no but for the simple fact he has no patients and has a temper issue not because i think he would reafend i talk with him he comes over we both have had treatment and an understanding. but wow this guy your talking about i can promise has not had the treatment some one who says they will kill themselves if they reafend is the wrong attitude you ask my brother he will throw up and puke asking him that question

Jenni - posted on 04/05/2011

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I think they should take into consideration the nature of the crime but in cases of pedophilia any children produced by them they should immediately be taken out of their care. Usually pedophiles have stipulations where they are not allowed to be around children or schools. This should apply to their own children as well. It doesn't in Canada, apparently.

Nikki - posted on 04/03/2011

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I don't think they should have children, wouldn't it be great if castration was part of the punishment for serious sex offenders!

I really think they need to come up with some kind of grading system or new name for serious sex offenders and those who do not prey on children. Like Dana stated, a 17 year old having sex with a 16 year old is not a threat to society, neither is some drunk guy who decided to pee in public and gets caught.

Stifler's - posted on 04/03/2011

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That's so sad Julianne :( In response to this, absolutely not!!! I wonder what goes through the wife's head.

[deleted account]

yea i agree with that i really think things need to be looked at, at a case by case bases. You are so right some boys lives are ruined forever and for what?! nothing at all. but yea this guy should never be around kids!

[deleted account]

My father is a sex offender.He is currently in jail. My mother knew he was molested as a child repetitively and that he was caught molesting his brother as a teen...yet she still married him. she left him when she caught him in a questionable situation with me...i was a baby so i dont remember anything. .He turned into a crazy stalking harasser, He broke into the house while she was sleeping chloroformed her and she got pregnant with my younger sister, my mother did NOT report it. So he raped another woman who DID report it. she has a daughter from him as well. I never met the daughter...i think she was put up for adoption. I don't think molesters or rapists should be aloud to have children...they may abuses their children, especially repeat offenders.

Jenni - posted on 04/03/2011

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Considering the rate of repeat offences and the fact that pedaphilia isn't an illness that boasts a recovery rate....
absolutely not.
The type of women that knowingly marries and has children with a sex offender is probably a combination of having low self-esteem, submissive, ignorant, niave, gullable and hard up.

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