Should wife stay in unaffectionate marriage?

Lissa - posted on 12/25/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




What should a wife do when her husband is non-affectionate, non-attention giving, and non-communative and doesn't respond when affection is given?


Jodi - posted on 12/26/2012




I agree with trying to talk to him about it, and maybe even get some couple's counselling to get to the bottom of the reasons. It may be that he is depressed or anxious or stressed. Men don't tend to talk about these things like women do, even to their partners.


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Sylvia - posted on 12/29/2012




Just going on the basis of what you've said, he sounds depressed to me. (My DH suffers from clinical depression, and my BFF's hubby is bipolar, so I do have some experience with this.) Of course, you don't say whether this is his usual behaviour or a new thing, or any number of other factors that could be relevant, so who knows?

I would think that talking to him about the problem would be the obvious place to start. Couples counselling could be very helpful, depending. Maybe he needs therapy and/or medication.

"Stay with him and suck it up" and "get out of there" aren't the only two options, fortunately!

Colette - posted on 12/29/2012




are you better off with him or without him...only you really know the answer to that....

[deleted account]

depends on why he's so stand-off-ish.

my husband has been somewhat like that lately. but he says it's because he's been depressed and that makes him sleepy. he says he's in a rut. but this is the busiest time of year for him, so we're stuck like this for a while until he's not working 12 hours a day 6 days a week anymore.

meanwhile, i'm usually the one who isn't affectionate, doesn't really pay attention too much, and i don't like talking to my husband anymore. it's been because he's been depressed, but it's a cycle.

if you can figure out why your husband is giving you the cold shoulder, then you can figure out what to do about it.

there can be lots of reason, not all of them easy to accept. but try to talk to him. make him talk to you.

Claire - posted on 12/26/2012




Try to talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. Has it always been like this? Is something going on that is causing him to act this way?

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