♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/23/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )





Should women be submissive to there husbands….would that lead to a man demanding and expecting her to always be that way???

Do you think being submissive and catering to your man are one in the same or different….or is the “LINE” very thin between the two?

Are there “certain” types of women who are more submissive then others?

Ex: A woman has her mans food hot and ready when he gets home, and does all that he asked…from getting his shower ready to laying out his clothes for bed, to rubbing his back if he so chooses…but one day the dinner is late and she may not have time getting his shower ready because she’s tending to the kids….the husband gets highly upset, because he expects her to have these things ready…along with managing the kids


ME - posted on 07/23/2010




I think this suggestion is antiquated and sad! My husband and I have different roles in our family. I do the laundry, he does the dishes, I do the majority of need-fulfillment for Mayah, he does for Miles. I take care of the grocery shopping, he does the majority of the cooking (for dinner). I take care of the finances and he (normally) makes most of the money...We didn't really decide these things, we just naturally fell into these roles because they are the things we are better at, or don't mind doing for the family. I think that suggesting that men's and women's work should be separate, and that a different organization would be emasculating somehow is sexist, misogynistic, and effed up. No one worries that it is unfeminine to require women to cook, clean, take care of children, take care of the finances, etc, etc, etc...and still be beautiful and sexy all the time...I know how my grandparents relationships/home lives were, and while they loved one another deeply, things were a bit one-sided in many ways...I'm not interested in that type of lifestyle...anyone who prefers living in the 1950's enjoy, but I'm happy right here in the 21st century!

Becky - posted on 07/23/2010




I think that what you are describing is not submission, but subservience. As a Christian, I do believe that the man is the "head" of the household and that I should submit to my husband. But that does not mean that I am his slave, nor does it mean that I am in any way "less" than him. I think different people will have different ideas of what it means, but to me, it means he should be the spiritual leader in the home. He has the primary responsibility for the spiritual and physical wellbeing of his family, according to the Bible. So, if he feels very strongly about a particular issue, even if I disagree, unless it goes against the Bible or my morals, I should submit to him by deferring to him on the issue.
However, in our home, the majority of decisions are made jointly. Caring for the children and the home is a joint responsibility. It's not all on me. Like I said, that would be subservience, not submission.
Oh, and getting his shower ready??? Seriously?? C'mon, does he not have hands? Unless my husband is really sick (or maybe asks me really, really nicely ;) ) That is NEVER gonna happen!

Jane - posted on 07/26/2010




Let me state for the record that I respond PRIOR to reading everyones comments so I am talking in generalizations and am not attacking anyone's point of view or the way they choose to live their life. This is one of those topics that I KNOW is going to get heated without ever reading a post. So I felt I needed to say that first.

Women should never be submissive! I just had this discussion with some of the women in my neighborhood (we get into all kinds of great debates) and someone said that while they weren't submissive to their husband, the were subservient because they believe that is a woman's place in a marriage.

It disgusts me that women think that this is what they should be doing in a marriage. My husband and I have an amazing marriage and I believe that is because neither one is in charge of the household. We share all responsibilities from cooking, cleaning and paying the bills. We raise the kids together, we share shopping, yard work...all of it. I work, he works. I don't think that a man, because he's a man, should be bringing home the bacon and I don't think a woman, because she's a woman, should be doing all the "womanly" things like in Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver or the Donna Reed Show, to name a few.

Don't get me wrong, I love having the door opened for me, my coat in my husbands arms waiting to put it on me and sometimes spending a day baking. My husband loves it when he comes home from work, if I happen to be home first and I have a glass of wine waiting for him and dinner started. However, this does not mean that I will ever submit or become subservient to him.

As I said, my neighborhood friends and I got into this debate and it got heated. The woman who stated she wasn't submissive but was subservient to her husband due to their faith said that submissive and subservient were different. If you look in the dictionary, to me they are one in the same.

1 : useful in an inferior capacity : subordinate
2 : serving to promote some end
3 : obsequiously submissive : truckling

With that said, if a woman feels that this is what she needs to do, and she's happy, that's fine but there is no way on earth (or in hell) would I ever be submissive or subservient to my husband. Just ain't gonna happen.

Sharon - posted on 07/23/2010




Ugh I'm sorry - I'm a christian and I don't believe in that bullshit either. Just turns my stomach thinking about it.

I'm sorry why would someone else turn over all life decisions to someone else? My husband & I talk about every big decision. We don't always agree and sometimes one of us will decide to go ahead and do what the other doesn't agree with, but as adults and decent human beings - we accept that decision.

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Stifler's - posted on 07/26/2010




HAHA! Is this a joke? I have the house clean and hot dinner ready when my partner comes home because I want to and I don't even work so I have time, if I'm too busy one day or feeding the baby when he gets home then that's too bad. It's about mutual respect.

Aliska - posted on 07/25/2010




I think both partners should be submissive to the marriage/family. To make family life work often the needs of the individual have to take second place to the best interests of the family in total. If one partner is putting the family first and themselves second it is the duty of the other partner to acknowledge/appreciate what is being done.

Meghan - posted on 07/25/2010




I do tend to believe in "traditonal roles" but I am in a little more modern in that if the husband becomes demanding and unappricative of it then he can shove it up his ass. And at the same time, it wouldn't hurt the man to pick up a mop and draw a bath for mom every now and then too! Marriage is about repect on both ends and working together!

Jessica - posted on 07/25/2010




"I'm sorry why would someone else turn over all life decisions to someone else? My husband & I talk about every big decision. We don't always agree and sometimes one of us will decide to go ahead and do what the other doesn't agree with, but as adults and decent human beings - we accept that decision."

ITA! Its a bunch of outdated crap, leftover from times when women were not equal to men in the eyes of society.

But oh yeah, in the bedroom is a totally different story! ;)

Shelley - posted on 07/25/2010




I'm happy to be submissive not as in the op but in that i attempt to give 100% for my husband but he also attempts to give 100% for me we therfor both get our needs met whether it be around the home, with the kids ect.

[deleted account]

I'm a Christian and do not understand why some Christians try to blame the Bible for their subserviance and submission - it is up to us to take responsibility for us and our choices in life! If you are happy being submissive than fine but if you are not (and IMO if you have to blame the Bible you are NOT happy with your situation or feel you have to justify it because it is wrong) then you should do something about it.

Charlie - posted on 07/23/2010




If its the woman's choice to play that role then go for it , whatever floats your boat BUT if she is made to be submissive or its expected of her to behave in that manner then that is wrong IMO .

We all have our roles in our relationships but they should be roles freely chosen by each individual as something they WANT to do .

I personally would not accept a man or relationship that wasnt equal as a partnership .

Jessica - posted on 07/23/2010




What Sharon said pretty much sums up my thoughts on the whole deal. My husband would find himself in a huge pile of shit if he thought I should be submissive in any sense of the word. He is my partner, my equal, my other half, not my ruler.

[deleted account]

Submissive in the Christian sense of the word? Absoulutely.

Submissive by the 'world's' understanding? Well, that's not submission. That's slavery and totally wrong.

Rosie - posted on 07/23/2010




there is only a very thin line if the person who is being submitted too EXPECTS that to happen everytime. for example i will do my husbands laundry and cook everynight, if i decided not to do these things my husband wouldn't have a cow, or get angry or anything. he knows that i do these things cause that's how our family works, and i like doing them-NOT because he made me, or even because he wants me too.

i don't really know if there are certain types of women who are more submissive than others. i suppose the answer some would say would be christian, but i don't know..... i used to be christian, and for a wedding present my family went in on a "weekend to remember". it's a 2 day long retreat for couples about all different aspects of marriage with christianity. it was VERY informative about the whole submit to your partner thing (among other things- if you are christian, you should really go to that if you can :). so i don't believe that christians should automatically be labeled as the ones who would submit to an overbearing partner. i think that some havn't taken the time to really understand the scriptures, and use it as a way to put their will over their partner. (oh yet another reason why i think organized religion is not so good).
i think it has more to do with old fashioned beliefs. i really think it has more to do with a type of man, than a type of woman. alot of women can't really help submitting to a powerful overbearing man (or vice versa, i've seen it).

Sharon - posted on 07/23/2010




I am neither submissive nor subservient. I don't believe any woman "should" be. If she wants to - is totally different.

Sexually submissive is different - that can be fun or experimental depending on your personality.

[deleted account]

I don't think it hurts to be sexually submissive every now and then ;-).

But generally I think that husband and wives should be equal because as human beings we are all equal. I think it is fine to spoil your partner but not to be their skivvy.

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