showering with your kids

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011 ( 46 moms have responded )

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what age do you think is too old to shower with your child of the opposite sex?

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Cassie - posted on 02/02/2011

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I was just saying in general. I hear women say that a father shouldn't shower with his daughter or shouldn't dress her (I've heard that before on COM not just in this debate). To me, it seems that there is a trust issue in relation to men being safe around little girls. We don't say it's not ok for a mother to dress her son but we worry about a father dressing his daughter.

A father should be able to care for his daughter in any capacity that a mother is. They are not a danger to our daughters. As long as dad and daughter are comfortable and nothing inappropriate is taking place, nudity around one another is perfectly acceptable at any age.

Cassie - posted on 02/02/2011

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But Mandy, if he is not uncomfortable and she is not uncomfortable, why shouldn't he be able to shower with her. He is her father, as long as nothing inappropriate is occurring, why should they not shower together?

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Jenn - posted on 02/03/2011

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I think if either one becomes uncomfortable with it, then it's time to stop. I remember when we used to go camping, and they had coin showers, me, my sister, and my Mum would all shower together - I would have been like 16 or 17 and my sister 18 or 19 - didn't bother us in the least.

Brandi - posted on 02/03/2011

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I never showered with either of my children. Their dad didn't either. I honestly don't see why you would. I think if you do, it should stop by the age of 2.

Bexterwhite - posted on 02/03/2011

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my younger kids 12,4,15 months all bath together and with my husband or i, we kind of hop in and out with whoever, to save water [i nearly always go first with the baby]

[deleted account]

My husband stopped showering with our daughter about a year ago because she likes to touch. He stil showers with the boys. Our daughter still sees him naked but just doesn't shower with him.
I shower with all of our kids and will do until they don't want it anymore. But i don't think i will ever stop being naked in front of them, we live in a small house and when it's hot i have no choice but to wear less clothes.

Johnny - posted on 02/02/2011

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Sometimes we shower or bathe together. I do like my alone shower time though. Hubby and I both like our water way hotter than our daughter does, so we can't get the same "effect" if we shower with her. But it is fun to sit in the bath and play. We both do it. When she tells us it makes her uncomfortable, we'll stop. I seriously doubt we'll still be at it when she's 14, lol.

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011

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lol that is some what similar to us Melanie I get one of the girls in first with my hubby then I bring the other one in and dress the first then be comes out dresses the second and they have books read to them

Melanie - posted on 02/02/2011

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well in our house its a procession line...Chris gets in 1st (& washes our 10mth old daughter Alani while he's in there), then comes our 5yr old daughter Brooke (she gets in as Chris getting out), next comes me (ive dried & dressed Alani while Brookes showering) last in is our 10yr old son Zane (he goes last because he's our only child old enough to turn the shower off when he's done..lol)
so everyone basically sees everyone else naked & no-one cares YET....guess it'll change one day but for know its the fastest way to all get a shower & because we dont have to turn the shower on & off for each person i guess we save water too :D

[deleted account]

I stopped showering with my kids when they were about 6mos. or so. Basically when they could sit up on their own for longer than 10minutes.

Tawny - posted on 02/02/2011

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I know that we asked my husbands brother what he did he has 5 kids. He said that he showered with them up until they started to ask What is that!!! and pointed at his privates that was then he knew he needed to stop showering with them...

[deleted account]

I don't think there's any set age its just a matter of comfort. My older son quit showering with me at 3, thats when he got more curious about himself. None of my kids shower or bathe together anymore either, they wanted privacy by about 4 so they got it.

Tara - posted on 02/02/2011

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At whatever age either parent or child feels uncomfortable. I still shower with my younger daughters on occasion. And Riley who is 14 months has been showering with either Steve or I since he was first born (I have a mesh water sling that worked great when he was tiny) and he still gets in every day with one of us.
It saves water, makes washing him easier and he loves it, and on the plus side, he has never had a problem holding his breath, loves to be splashed in the face and has no problem with water on his head or face.
He will sometimes have a bath with my almost 11 year old daughter.
Again, I agree with those who said there is no set age, it's personal and something that will be different for everyone.

Torie - posted on 02/02/2011

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my son is 7 and still occasionally will jump in the shower when I am in there. We have no problem being naked around each other and neither does his dad. He asks questions, I answer them. There is nothing graphic about it or anything inapproproite going on so I don't think it is a problem.

Bonnie - posted on 02/02/2011

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Cassie, I never said that was anything wrong with a father dressing his daughter if both are comfortable. That's why I said this is a different case. She doesn't see her father naked when he is changing her. All I said is that in a few years if anything, it probably will start to get uncomfortable for her, like maybe around 8. By the time she is 5 or maybe even less, she should be able to fully dress herself anyway.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/02/2011

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NO AGE!!!! It is the only ME time I get...completely alone...me me me ME!

[deleted account]

in all honesty, hubby and i conserve water and shower together most of the time. thankfully our shower is big enough for the both of us, so it works out fine. we also team up to give Julie a bath. one of us holds her while the other washes. it's fun, until she gets upset, haha. she's too little for showers, so it's just baths in the baby tub until she gets bigger. hubby gets up in the middle of the night and takes care of her in just his boxers sometimes. he obviously doesn't mind and Julie's too young to care. i know he'd never do anything to her. i, on the other hand, am too self-conscious to consider bathing her without at least a shirt on, but that's just me. i think it depends on the people involved, like everyone has said. if someone involved gets uncomfortable, then they should stop. but until then, i don't think it's wrong.

plus hubby isn't self-conscious at all. he'd walk around the house naked all the time if i let him Dx

Lindsay - posted on 02/02/2011

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I have a daughter who is about to turn 6 in a week and a son that's 4. Either one of them will jump in the shower with either one of us. It's not a big deal. My daughter is mostly taking showers alone but especially on busy school mornings, we'll jump in together.

Sharon - posted on 02/02/2011

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Um I quit showering with the boys when they were about 3. Mostly because their curiosity was to much for me to deal with. I answered their questions and they were satisfied.

Marylea - posted on 02/02/2011

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I think that as soon as it becomes uncomfortable for either the parent or the child (or both) then its too old. That goes for opposite sex and same sex. My hubby bathes with our 21month old daughter (doesn't feel comfortable showering with her) and I'll bathe and shower with her. If I had a boy I'd bathe and shower with him at this age. I think that around 4 or 5 is what I would consider too old. But it really depends on the kid and the parents and what they feel comfortable with.

Marylea~

Becky - posted on 02/02/2011

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I agree, when someone starts to feel uncomfortable with it. I'd probably say stop by school age. I don't shower with my boys anymore because they don't like the shower, and because I like my showers as a few minutes to myself! I would though, if they really wanted to come in, they just don't want to. Cole only likes showers at the swimming pool, strange boy. :)

Sherri - posted on 02/02/2011

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I still shower with my 5 yr old son. I don't know how old is too old maybe 7ish.

[deleted account]

My girls were around 2 when my ex quit showering w/ them. They noticed he had a 'tail'.... ;) My son is almost 3 and showers w/ me sometimes. He prefers a bath though.

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011

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thats exactly what I meant to say Julianne couldnt have worded it better, because of what is out there you keep thinking you are doing the wrong thing as a parent when your not. I know better now.

[deleted account]

Well with the amount of pedofiles and sickos on the news all the time, no wonder people have developed a sick mind when it comes to parent child relationships. They assume the worst, theres nothing wrong with a father caring for his daughter.

Shauna - posted on 02/02/2011

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Just depends on the family. My older son would always talk about his penis and boobs at age 3 and i def would not be getting naked in front of him at that age. But thats a whole different issue. He went to a in home day care with much older kids that were teaching him some pretty bad stuff.
Its easier for me just to give the kids a bath and take my own shower.

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011

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I know it is but these days everything seems innapropriate. I understand peoples concerns. I have 100% trust in my partner but worry about doing the wrong thing that is all

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011

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btw what time is it there for all you guys in the states? every time I come on here its late and its when everyone gets online it seems. Its mid night here I keep being tired all day cause Ive been sitting on here at night

[deleted account]

it doesnt matter if its the opposite sex or not, one day me showering with my daughter will feel inappropriate. Brad has never showered with her, he doesn't even like when she sees him using the bathroom LOL she thinks thats ok though since she comes to the bathroom with me...His family was more private about things like that. I think its when the individuals feel uncomfortable about it.

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011

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Cassie were you reffering to me with the trust thing or Bonnie? I trust him 100%

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011

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I dont know I just thought when they get to a certain age it wasnt right and I was worried when she got older she would remember showering with him and that it would scar her or something lol. Maybe I am totally wrong. I think about if I had showered iwth my dad, it would just be wierd. But after reading this sounds like shes still ok to do it atm

Cassie - posted on 02/02/2011

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And Bonnie, what is inappropriate about a father dressing his daughter if both are comfortable?? Should a mom not be allowed to help dress her son?? In saying the dad shouldn't shower or dress a daughter, it seems that you (general you) may deep down not trust him or men in general.

Bonnie - posted on 02/02/2011

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Well him dressing her is a bit different IMO. She doesn't see him naked when changing her diaper or dressing her. But of course in a few years there will come a time when helping her get dressed will be inappropriate.

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2011

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I guess I wasnt wrong then My daughter turns 3 soon and I just told my hubby tonight he shouldnt shower with her anymore. I think he got offended cause he said he guesses I should dress her then

[deleted account]

I still shower with my 3 year old boy. So does my husband, from time to time. Whenever any of us becomes uncomfortable, it will change. But I don't know that I can put an exact age on it.

Popular topic these days.

Bonnie - posted on 02/02/2011

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I say 2 or 3 is a good age to stop or any time you feel uncomfortable. My younger son turns 2.5 years old this month and a couple of weeks ago I was changing and he comes into my bedroom and says, "Momma, I wanna tickle you." So I thought okay and I showed him my stomach and belly button. His response to that was, "No Momma, those! I wanna tickle those" He was pointing to my boobs. I nearly died laughing.

Laura - posted on 02/02/2011

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I agree, it depends on the comfort level of everyone involved. I can't get into the shower with out my 2 1/2 year old running in with me. I don't really shower as much with my 4 year old any more because I have taught him to wash himself (still supervised) He does like jumping in with daddy in the morning though. I don't have a problem getting dressed in front of them. Them have asked questions and know the difference between boys and girls. If the child starts asking for privacy then you know it's time to quit.

Cassie - posted on 02/02/2011

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There is no set age. It is when all members involved become uncomfortable. Corey showers with Kiera who is 2. They really enjoy showering together. She also showers with me. As long as all people involved are comfortable, there is no issue with family members of the opposite sex showering together.

Stifler's - posted on 02/02/2011

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ROFL! I shower with my 1 year old boy, really have no idea when it becomes inappropriate. Maybe it just depends on the individual child and parent, when they become uncomfortable with it.

Joanna - posted on 02/02/2011

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My husband just stopped showering with our 3 year old daughter, but that's only because she tried shaving his butt with my razor when he wasn't looking.

I think age doesn't matter quite so much as long as both parties are comfortable with it.

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