someone to call at 3am

Nicole - posted on 02/01/2011 ( 22 moms have responded )

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I used to attend parenting groups. I didn’t make friends there because I had nothing in common with the moms who attended the groups.



I remember one time the group leader announced that we all had to make one friend that meeting, so that we would have someone to call at 3am. I said, “if you want someone to call at 3am, make friends with a night auditor, not a single parent”.



So the leader gave us mingling time and then got us to sit down and asked us, “ who have you decided you want to get to know better?”.



I said, “myself”.



They weren’t pleased with my answer.



Good parenting groups are worth the effort to find. That being said I have made more friends at University then I have at parenting groups.



Where did you meet most of your friends?

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Mrs. - posted on 03/03/2011

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Hmm..

My aunt used to say you only need 6 people who care about you in this life - three on one side of the coffin and three on the other. She said if you've got at least six friends and family member who give a shit about you, you're doing better than most.

Personally, I moved a lot. When I was a kid, it was every three years. As an adult, it's been more like every four. I've managed to go back to the present city I'm in a couple times. Doing this cuts down on maintaining friendships. Not to mention, I'm way better at meeting people than closing the deal with friends (that's what I was raised to do). I often find people are way more demanding of their friends than I've ever had to be. I kind of don't know how to give that much to someone I'm not sleeping with. I'm working on it.

So, I don't have a boat load of friends. I'm friends with most of my ex's, have a really good girlfriend from high school who lives very far away, I'm close with a few folks I've worked with over the years (but I wouldn't call them at 3am), my fiance is my best friend, I've got a few new parent friends I've met in my building/parks/playgroups and I'm very close with my parents. My brothers are all kind of assholes about the baby and calling so I just try to deal with that (with the exception of my baby bro who is too young to really understand a lot of stuff). So, I think I'm covered with the 6 people thing.

I gotta admit though, sometimes I feel like I could use more friends - I just know I wouldn't be able to give much right now.

Tara - posted on 02/02/2011

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Any new friends I have met in the last 2 years or so were met a playgroup or because we homeschool, now those are just "mom" friends, some I am very close to, others we're just friends because our kids are friends.
My hubby is my closest friend, my mom second.
I don't need anymore friends, I feel bad not having enough time for the ones I do have.
Online friends are easier to maintain, lol they don't require a reply immediately, they don't care if I am cranky from lack of sleep, they don't care if I call them back or email them back right away and they don't talk when I'm trying to talk!!!
lol

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Jenn - posted on 03/03/2011

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I wouldn't call anyone at 3am!! My friends are people that I went to school with (eons ago), worked with at some point, or I met through another friend. Oh, and I did actually make a friend on FB and she lives just down the road - but I guess technically it was because of a mutual friend - so really we met through another friend.

April - posted on 03/03/2011

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I have 6 friends with the same name. :) None that I would call at 3 am. I am not the type of person to make phone calls in general, but especially not at 3 am. A close friend would know to never call me at that time!!

Lady Heather - posted on 03/03/2011

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And as far as calling at 3am - dude that's what I have family for. I'd call my sister if for some reason my husband wasn't available.

Lady Heather - posted on 03/03/2011

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Previously it was university. Then we all graduated and moved away and I mainly just stay in contact with my best friend. Where I live now my friends are almost all in my book club. I spent years unable to find normal women here to associate with and then I decided to join some book club I saw on Facebook for some reason. We are all moms but it's different from a parenting group because a) our kids aren't there (except for teeny babies from time to time so mums can feed) and b) we aren't there to talk about our kids. Inevitably we do talk about kid and baby stuff sometimes, but because we the focus is on the book we end up talking about all sorts of different things. Some of are SAHMs, some work, some have tons of money, some have little, we have people with no post-secondary education, a PhD and everyone in between. Everybody is different in a way but everybody is respectful and interesting and loves to read.

I think meeting people through group activities that involve a shared interest make way more sense than just meeting random "parents". You need more in common than just your kids.

[deleted account]

My bff and I have been best friends for 23 years. My aunt had taken custody of me and was a girls youth leader at church so she took me to a church dance and picked up some other kids to go and my bff was a guest of a girl who went to the church. We clicked right away, like magnets. It was like we already knew each other. We live on opposite coasts now but still talk almost everyday and if we don't talk we at least text. If I were a lesbian I'd marry her. I ♥ her so much!!! : ) My other friends are mostly from school, work and church.

Iridescent - posted on 03/03/2011

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Online. They understand more of what I'm going through than anyone I know in person, because they're going through it as well. We're able to call each other (even at 3am), and meet during conferences for our child's illness.

Deepti - posted on 03/03/2011

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moms of my sons friends are my friends... not all of them but some of them are... this will increase the bonding b/w my son and his friends and i will also get a gud company.

[deleted account]

School and church. I've met a few at playgroups, but the only ones I actually KNOW are the ones that go to my church as well.

LaCi - posted on 02/03/2011

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Well, I don't have any parent friends. I don't make it a point to make new friends. I think the last time I made a new friend was 7 years ago, seriously. He's the one I'd call at 3 am. Most of my other friends are childhood friends.

~Jennifer - posted on 02/03/2011

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I just moved back to the town in which I grew up and it seems like everyone I know is either still here, or just moved back as well.
No problems finding people I know here at all.
Hell, I even stopped by the police station to say hi to the chief of police (went to school with him) and tell him 'not to let any of the newbie cops pull over the blue mini-van with the NC plates'.
(Haven't registered my car here yet - the insurance is ridiculous, and NJDMV takes HOURS to get through - not looking forward to that at all...)
....It's a really small town.
=)

Desiree - posted on 02/03/2011

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I met my best friend through a mutual friend. And my best friend once called me at 2 in the morning because it was snowing. Yes that was a big thing it only Snows in Johannesburg once every 25 to 30 years. The first time I remember snow I was 7 it was 1981 and then it snowed again in 2007. We haven't had snow since then.

Amanda - posted on 02/02/2011

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my close-call-at-3am-friends are all from college, unfortunately the closest one (distance-wise) lives 8 hours away :( my "local" close friends are honestly my inlaws, my husband's aunt and uncle, my MIL and FILs neighbors, and my husband's BFF from highschool and his girlfriend..... for the most part i tend to gravitate toward individuals that are older than me.

[deleted account]

I've only met one of my close friends at parenting groups. I love her and we have a blast together, but she is not someone I would call at 3am or that I can talk to about "anything"

My very best friend, I met shopping. I don't remember how it started, but our sons are only 3 days apart, and we seemed to "click". Her son was not with her, but we made a date to come shopping together later. We ended up spending the whole day together and have been best friends since.

My other best friends are her sister, who I met through her (at the time they were fighting, and they still frequently do), and another girl I met at an art exhibit where she had work. The sister's kids are older, but play will with our little ones, and the other girl is childless, but due any day now (SO Excited!!) The four of us are best friends. Sometimes weeks go by that we don't see each other, but I know I can call any of them anytime and tell them anything. I don't know what I'd do without them--they are closer than my family!

Sal - posted on 02/02/2011

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school uni mums group ( i had an amazing one and i miss it terribly now i have moved) and friends of friends

Meghan - posted on 02/01/2011

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I don't really have a lot of friends. My bestie and I went to school and worked together. I have a pretty good friend that I met at work, and I have met some really awesome woman off this site who I have developed close relationships with :) I also consider my mom one of my "oldest friends" haha!

[deleted account]

I met most of my friends during school. I am still friends with them. I made a few friends through work but because i no longer work i don't have the regular contact anymore. I imagine i will make friends when i attend uni and when i graduate i imagine i will make friends at work. I am also friends with my husbands friends but one of them lied to me once so now they are his friends who i will tolerate for him becaus ethey are good to him.

Charlie - posted on 02/01/2011

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Im still best friends with my high school friends , many wonderful friends I made on the party circuit as a young adult still remain very close , My fiancee's friends are now mine , work friends , online friends ect.

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