Something to make you go hmmmmm.

Tania - posted on 10/06/2011 ( 25 moms have responded )




This was on my friends wall this morning and I thought I would share. I kinda made me not feel as bad about myself this morning.

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and b...eautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.

They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?

They would have no sex life and could not bear children.

Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.

And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn) Feel free to tag yourselves :)

Last comment: I'm not putting down thin people, being a thin woman myself (BMI of 22 maybe?) just saying that being large doesn't equate to being unattractive.See More

By: Delphine Fieberg



Krista - posted on 10/06/2011




The thing that I like about that poster is that it reminds people that our lives are not ONLY about our weight -- that we are so much more than that.

Society and the media would have you believe that fat women are perpetually in the role of the sidekick. The wingman who all of the other girls stand next to in order to look thinner. The funny fat friend who goes home alone every night to her cat.

Guess what? Fat women are not an accessory. We are the stars of our own lives. We may be funny and we may be fat, but that's not the entire sum of our being.

We "whales" do travel, and entertain, and have torrid affairs with disreputable gentlemen callers with questionable origins, and we dance, and we fall in love and we get married to men who think that we are goddesses, and we cradle our children, and we take classes, and we get promoted, and we say "fuck it" and paint our bedrooms hot pink, just because we can.

Would I like to be thin? Sure. It'd be easier to find clothes, and I'd probably have more energy.

But would my life change?


And that's my beef (rare, please) with the entire diet and entertainment industry. It tells us that until we're the size that they think we should be, we have absolutely NO business having a life outside of trying to lose weight. The concept of a fat chick being happy and fulfilled and successful and having men panting after her, but just wanting to drop a few pounds to look better in her skinny jeans? Inconceivable!!! We're supposed to be SAD! We're supposed to be ALONE! We're supposed to sit on our couches and eat ice cream and loathe ourselves and bemoan the fact that our vaginas have grown dusty from lack of use.

Well guess what, muffin-butt? As an adult, I've fluctuated between a size 10 and a size 22 -- and I sure as hell have not put my life on hold while waiting to be thin. Because if you wait to be "perfect" before traveling or taking a class or looking for Mr. Right or having a baby...well, you'll be in for a mighty long wait, won't you?

Jenni - posted on 10/06/2011




Yes, but there's a difference between being 'unhealthy overweight' and being a paper thin model that social media promotes.

An average woman who's gained 15-30 extra pounds after a few pregnancies should not feel that she has to attain a "mermaid body" to feel beautiful. She should not have to feel like she's become a "whale" because she doesn't weigh the same she weighed in high school. Great if you do! Great if you're maintaining a perfect BMI. But if you're not... why should you be insulted for it? Why should you feel less beautiful than the childless woman on the treadmill next to you maintaining her perfect BMI?

I think it's unrealistic for most women who have under gone 3 pregnancies, have 3 children they have to take to soccer practice, do homework with, work at the office, make dinner for the entire family, pack lunches etc. to maintain a perfect body on top of everything else that's on her plate (no pun intended). Not saying it can't be done... but it's definitely HARDER to find the time to not grab a quick on the go meal or find time to work out.

Anyways, she shouldn't have to be made to feel ugly because she might not have the time to go to the gym or worry about if she can pull off a bikini. Or the fact that it's probably 10x harder to lose pregnancy weight.

That's how I perceived this metaphor anyways. The pressure on women to maintain a perfect body for 'society' without taking into consideration it might not be a priority to *her* or fit her lifestyle. Or it's not always an easy to attain goal considering her lifestyle. She shouldn't be insulted because of it.

Nice marketing technique by the way. Tough love? Insult a woman by calling her a whale so she'll come work out at your gym?

"You're disgusting! ....but hey, if you don't want to be disgusting, come buy a gym membership from us."

Minnie - posted on 10/06/2011




But is it thin-ness at the expense of health?

The gym's statement was very wrong- it will discourage women from going out in public and exercising. But I think the goal should be to get healthy, not necessarily media-popular thin.

When one looks at a really really fit healthy person they don't exactly look thin. They're rip- full of muscle and can do wild things athletically.

It shouldn't be about whale OR mermaid. But healthy and full of vitality.

Stifler's - posted on 10/07/2011




I find the same as Sal people are fat because they're depressed and they blame their weight for everything wrong in their life like "I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have many friends... etc" Losing weight isn't going to make every person you are attracted to like you. Even thin people face rejection and arent friends with everyone.

Sal - posted on 10/07/2011




i do love this, and it is so true, and i think that health and weight should not be confused, while i would like to be thinner (not even thinner i guess but fitter) i am basically healthy, no problems with bp, sugar. or choloestrol while my thin hubby has chorestrol thought the roof and i have a freind on bp med while she is a stunning size 10, and while losing weight can make you feel happier like it did for sherri but only if being overweight was what was making you miserable and not the being miserable making you fat, my sil got her stomache banded and lost weight only to still be miserable, her weight was on because she was depressed not the other way she is just hot and crazy...


View replies by

Stifler's - posted on 10/07/2011




But we are talking about larger people who are depressed. I didn't mean to imply that all fat people are depressed and desperate to lose weight.

Carolee - posted on 10/07/2011




Just saying... not all overweight people are depressed or even trying to lose weight. And there are a lot of people who have medical issues and have gained weight because of these issues (it's not always the other way around).

Please don't attack me for saying this. It just seems to me that only one side of the story gets told when overweight people are the subject of the conversation.

Adrienne - posted on 10/07/2011




I have to say, I loved this. I also saw it on FB first. As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder - I find it VERY inspirational. I fight every day with a self image that tells me I'm much larger than I am. Am I overweight (by medical standards)? Yes - about 20 lbs. Do I long for the days of being a pre-baby size 2/4 - Yes. Could I be in better physical condition - Yes. At the same time, my husband keeps reminding me that he doesn't want the stick figure with boobs that I was at 19 or at 25 even. He chases me around the house and can't get enough of me. That's what matters. Oh - and my 4 y/o son yesterday looked at a mannequin at the store and said "look mom - it's just like you! But (with disapproving frown) smaller. I think you're better." It made me laugh.

Ez - posted on 10/06/2011




Not many people pay to go see the mermaids. They're imaginary. Just like the perfect woman.

This is EXACTLY how I took this blurb. It is a metaphor for how unattainable and unrealistic the model-thin look is for most women. It's not real. It's an image conjured up by arrogant fashion designers and the sheeple media. Are there some women who are naturally skeletal skinny? Sure, but they are the minority.

I actually 'unliked' a FB page and blogger over this debate (as did many others going by the comments). The woman went on a ridiculous rant about how this poster and blurb was bullying skinny girls. She entirely missed the point.

Oh and the model in that photo is unbelievably beautiful. I would rather look like her than Giselle Bundchen any day of the week.

Stifler's - posted on 10/06/2011




It's fairly true. Be happy with who you are because losing or gaining weight won't change your personality or life.

Becky - posted on 10/06/2011




Not everyone should, or can, be "thin", if by thin you mean a size 0-2 who can't pinch an inch anywhere. I don't think a very tall woman should be a size 1, I don't think that's healthy. Some women won't be a size 1 even if they don't have an ounce of extra fat on them simply because of their bone structure. The focus needs to move away from what size clothes you wear and even how much you weigh and be on being healthy. If you have a healthy diet, an active lifestyle, and are within a healthy weight and BMI, then no one should care what size you are!

Jennifer - posted on 10/06/2011




Whales swim all day every day, I can't imagine they are not fit as they can be! And who thinks whales arn't beautiful? People make mega bucks taking people out to watch the whales!! Not many people pay to go see the mermaids. They're imaginary. Just like the perfect woman. Those women who strive all their life to be a size 2 are missing life. I don't envy them. And the women who are naturally thin? Good for them! They have been "lucky", but as the daughter to an incredably thin woman, I know it isn't all roses! She worried about the way she looked just as much as I do! She is no healthier than I am. She's said "i can't wear that, I have no butt/boobs/curves" as many times as I've said "I'm too big to wear that". The kicker to it all- I could loose the weight- try as she may, my mom can't gain it!!

April - posted on 10/06/2011




i still want to be thin. the only thing that stops me from doing some crazy diet is that i am still nursing and also trying to get pregnant again. if i wasn't doing those things, i'd be counting calories and restricting. that's the only thing that's ever helped me lose weight.

Johnny - posted on 10/06/2011




I want to be healthy. Mind, body and "soul". Going to a place that would call me a whale would not give me the latter two, which are equally important. If they aren't offering all three, they are not offering any real improvement. I want to be in good shape, I don't want to be thin. I was thin in college, I have huge boobs, I don't want to go back to looking like Dolly Parton.

[deleted account]

One of my heavier friends who teaches swimming to kids all day/every day had that posted on her wall a few days ago. I like it. :)

Tania - posted on 10/06/2011




I remember always trying to strive for that unatainable weight. Doing things that made me sick. Being a Type 1 diabetic and still feeling that being skinny was more important than my health.
Now after a kidnet transplant and a pregnancy I have put on more weight then I care to mention. Its tough but what this woman said did make me feel better.
I need to let the weight thing go. Its hard . One thing I know for certain is that I will not relasp I know now that getting to a healthy weight takes time I accept that.

Minnie - posted on 10/06/2011




I do agree with you, being large doesn't equate to being unattractive. There are stunning plus size women.

But I have no clue what this is supposed to mean. It's not scientifically based. Is it a metaphor?

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

However- I care very much about my health and as soon as I noticed that I was pushing five pounds past where I felt good (because my lack of well-being was related to inactivity) I -did- begin exercising. Not to be thin, but so I can do as many pull-ups as I can, or do as many push-ups with my nose touching the floor, and have as healthy a heart and as strong of muscles as I can.

And thinness will typically naturally follow eating right and exercising.

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