Somewhat shocking statistic - Sex debate !

Jess - posted on 12/08/2010 ( 87 moms have responded )

1,806

3

97

On Monday night I saw a "documentary" on the secret sex lives of Australian women, and I was shocked that only 40% of the female population have used a vibrator !!! I can assure you that I thought this number would be dramatically higher. If Sex and the City is to be believed the entire adult female population is buzzing their free time away !

Now I'm sure that this number in truth could be higher, after all there has got to be a percentage of women who would NEVER admit to it !

"Sister's are doing it for themselves".... well apparently not !!!

What do you think... is this number flawed or are we not as naughty as hollywood, late night tv and cosmo make us out to be ???

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Mrs. - posted on 12/08/2010

1,767

6

30

Oh and I don't think using a vibrator is a sign the communication has broken down in the sexual relationship. In fact, it takes some balls to say to your partner, "I get off on using a vibrator from time to time, would you mind if we use it together?."
Some men don't always take to that and some enjoy them too. I think it's more about variety. Sure you can get off au naturel in various ways but maybe you want to mix it up...while you're alone or with your partner.

Then there are also women who need a lot of stimulation to get off at all. Vibrators might be the only way they can do it...a finger, a mouth ain't gonna cut it. I don't think that means they aren't communicating if this is a life long thing for the woman...it just means that's how she gets off and thank God she can. Some women don't.

Jenny - posted on 12/08/2010

4,426

16

129

Disclaimer: not directed at anyone in particular.



Well those who haven't tried it have nothing to be proud of. If you tried it and didn't like it, that's fine but please don't act like it's an accomplishment to only have sexual pleasure from your spouse.



I have sex often (3 or so times per week) and use my vibrator at least twice. I'm horniest in the afternoon when he's at work. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss out on a good orgasm due to logistics.



My mom was never open about sex. I was 18 when I learned where the clitoris was. You know how I found out? The View had a segment with a big diagram with it labelled. I had never had an orgasm previous to that and I think I spent at least the next month in my bedroom.



Get it when you can ladies.

Jenny - posted on 12/08/2010

4,426

16

129

Becky, using a vibrator is a way for you to discover what you do like so you can improve your sex life with your partner. In my experience, they are not isolating at all.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

87 Comments

View replies by

Julie - posted on 03/08/2012

126

21

7

Sisters might still be doing it for themselves... just without having to buy the equipment. Some drive autos, some prefer manual. ;)

Rachel - posted on 12/14/2010

21

6

1

I just jumped back on today, and I know I'm late to the party again, but the only thing I know about the religious views and sex is that sex is for procreation. Although anything I've been taught is that it's to be enjoyable too. But the purpose is procreation. I'm not for sure where vibrators would fit in there.

lol but my fiance is really good friends with our minister and he's a hoot, not your typical minister...maybe I'll ask him!!

Stifler's - posted on 12/11/2010

15,141

154

604

i don't recall hearing a sermon where masturbation or marital aids were mentioned either.

Veronica - posted on 12/11/2010

1,539

61

94

I don't recall the bible saying "thou shalt not use a dildo" or 'thou shalt not masturbate" -- pleasure of the flesh is just not our number one priority - our soul is. We have plenty of enjoyment in our sex life with each other, mainly because its about loving each other, we dont just wham and bam -- we literally talk, are very affectionate, cuddle, lots of touching feeling loving -- this alone is gratifying, and then the orgasm is the icing on the cake. We don't need the rest. We are spontaneous, we do different things too. We tried using the toys - it just did not work for us, and for us, it took away the intimacy -- id rather my husband please me, not some cold hard object that doesnt love me. And we both agreed we wouldn't continue down that road.

Mrs. - posted on 12/11/2010

1,767

6

30

Veronica, not trying to spark a religious debate. I'm just curious about how different faiths view using sex aids in a relationship with your husband. I actually wasn't sure and am always into finding out how other live their private lives. I'm nosey that way.

Veronica - posted on 12/11/2010

1,539

61

94

I dont know how to answer your question about faith, Lord, etc. And I don't think we need to get into, yet, another religious debate.
We went down a hard road with this, and we care to never go there again. Like I said before, to each their own, and Im not going to sit here and tell anyone they are wrong. We are just choosing not to use them ourselves.

Tah - posted on 12/11/2010

7,412

22

400

@Rebecca..i have never heard a sermon titles "Dildo" or "Doing it after dark....alone"..lol..but we used to have rap sessions for the teens at church at peoples houses, and i remember one of the adults saying this.." He doesn't care if you swing from the chandelier, as long as you do it within marriage, God wants you to have good sex"....

C. - posted on 12/11/2010

4,125

35

242

"Yeah, I know about the self pleasuring thing. I was just wondering if it's still considered self pleasuring if it's with your husband and the dildo."

You know.. That's a very good question. I never thought about if it was done WITH your husband.. I think if it's a shared thing, it wouldn't be considered taboo.. But to most people in church (at least the one I went to back home), using toys was just never discussed b/c it was seen as perverse, I guess?

C. - posted on 12/11/2010

4,125

35

242

"I'm just wondering how, if this is against the some churches values, it is addressed in church (with a bit of coughing back laughter from the congregation I guess?)."

Well, I don't know about any church that you've been to.. But the one I went to back home, nobody would 'cough back laughter'.. Though that could have something to do with our Pastor making jokes within his sermon, anyway lol.. He's a character (I miss that church!!!!)

Mrs. - posted on 12/10/2010

1,767

6

30

Yeah, I know about the self pleasuring thing. I was just wondering if it's still considered self pleasuring if it's with your husband and the dildo.

Mrs. - posted on 12/10/2010

1,767

6

30

This may sounds like an ignorant question but...

Does it actually go against some sort of religious tenant in the Christian faith to use it with someone you are married to? I was just wondering. I somehow doubt there is a section in the bible where Jesus is having some serious girl talk with the lepers and starts going on about dildos...I'm not that out of the religious loop (and if that was the case, I gotta go reread some sections of the bible for shits and giggles). I'm just wondering how, if this is against the some churches values, it is addressed in church (with a bit of coughing back laughter from the congregation I guess?).

Veronica - posted on 12/10/2010

1,539

61

94

BTW just because this is how I feel about vibr. etc. doesnt mean I think everyone should feel the way I do. This is another classic, "to each their own".

Veronica - posted on 12/10/2010

1,539

61

94

Barb, do you have another link, this one says you have to sign in (nytimes) Im signed up to enough shit, i dont care to just to read an article.

Veronica - posted on 12/10/2010

1,539

61

94

Im not sure - it depends on who they asked, where they asked, and how many told the truth or lied either.
My husband and I 'tried' this route -- but we decided to throw the works away - we were dissatisfied. My main problem, was my morals - - I feel wrong, i feel unnatural, and just was not enthused at all. It wasn't that it didnt work for me -- physically it did -- but mentally i couldnt push past how disgusted i felt about myself, doing this to myself. Absolutely, I will never go this route again. I feel just right with my husband, vise versa.

C. - posted on 12/10/2010

4,125

35

242

Barb, I don't know any woman that hasn't heard that story about how vibrators came to be..

[deleted account]

I do question the number, 40% seems low to me, but then this from a woman who has honestly never used a vibrator or a dildo. I have no idea why I haven't either because I am really up for experimentation in the bedroom, I suppose it's something we haven't gotten around to yet and we will in the future maybe...

Tah - posted on 12/10/2010

7,412

22

400

exactly sharon...and i don't have credit cards so if my husband wasn't hot, my switch would be in the down position all the time..lol



my ex bought me one, but he never got to use it on me..my husband did because he wanted to after he found it in my drawer i was indifferent to it, but i put on a oscar worthy show, but needless to say when he asked me where i got it from and i told him it was "bye bye to my not so little friend"

Rachel - posted on 12/10/2010

21

6

1

Okay may I just say that I use to use mine ALL the time with my ex-husband. Not "with him" but because of him and the horrible...well you get the picture! BUT with my fiance...we use it together and BOY OH BOY!!! ladies, ladies, ladies!!!! I'm with Dana...with partner or without and I prefer the with it's about an experience! If you don't know how to please yourself then you don't know how to let him know how to please you. It's the same for him too! And yes, when my daughter gets to the right age/maturity we will have that discussion.

Johnny - posted on 12/09/2010

8,686

26

322

I can believe that only 40% use one on a regular basis. But I have a hard time believing that only 40% have ever tried it. Are there a lot of really old women in Australia?

I've used them, but they make me feel like I'm going to pee myself. So it's not so hot. I'm in no way opposed to sex toys, I think they are fan-fucking-tastic, but not vibrators. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

Nelly - posted on 12/09/2010

290

2

17

| have never used a vibrator. I thought that 40% is high I thought that number would be lower

LaCi - posted on 12/09/2010

3,361

3

171

I think there are plenty of women who haven't. I also think plenty of women lie about masturbation and sex. I'd guess 10-15% flat out lied and maybe another 10-20% thought that, although they HAVE they weren't into it and didn't care to continue doing it so they checked the *no* box. Kind of like when women knock off a few sex partners because they aren't pleased with the number, or add a few I guess, depending on the woman. We like to round things out in a way that we think casts a more favorable light.

C. - posted on 12/08/2010

4,125

35

242

"I used to have several but lost one and the other one is broken. Don't ask"

Yeah.. I think I'll stay away from that one :P

Meghan - posted on 12/08/2010

3,169

33

202

I have never ever used one and have no desire to...all of my g/f's think I am nuts.

Mrs. - posted on 12/08/2010

1,767

6

30

I was gonna say the same thing, plastic is kinda sterile. The gel ones are a bit more comfortable.

Sharon - posted on 12/08/2010

11,585

12

1315

Eh - I let a partner use one on me because they were curious. I was unimpressed.

Sorry but plastic - unless its a credit card - does not turn me on.

Nikkole - posted on 12/08/2010

1,505

31

49

Ive never have used one but i probably could in the near future but i just never have had to me and my husband are like rabbits and have sex ALL the time literally like 2 a day maybe more just depends! But i will tell my little girl about it when she gets older she dosent NEED a man for that :) !

Kylie - posted on 12/08/2010

2,391

81

190

maybe if they included vibrating toothbrushes and hand held "back massage-ers" as vibrators the number would be higher :p

A - posted on 12/08/2010

385

15

7

Rebecca- you have a very good point about the variety. Its just something that isnt for me. I'd rather get variety through positions, places, and role play. lol

[deleted account]

I think that number is flawed lol! There's some that wouldn't admit to it and how many women were even included in the study? I used a vibrator before I lived with my husband and we have a huge box of various sex toys now =)

Caitlin - posted on 12/08/2010

1,915

5

172

Lol erin.. My hubby freaked me out once when he broke out his razor.. I was offended till I realised it didn't even have the blade on the end, it was just one of those vibratey ones.. I laughed, didn't like it much and wont do it again, but there are plenty of household items that can be used.. :p

Mrs. - posted on 12/08/2010

1,767

6

30

Might be that they don't use a vibrator per sea...but they use something else like a "personal massager" for their "backs", a shower head, a washing machine ride, an electric toothbrush, or who knows what. If it's not originally meant as a vibrator, they may not technically have to admit to it.

Some ladies though, just don't get off that way...I guess more vibrators for the rest of us.

[deleted account]

I have absolutely no desire to spend money on purchasing something when I can get what I want/need for free. :)

Never owned one, never used one, never will.

A - posted on 12/08/2010

385

15

7

It is what it is. I have used vibrators and dildos in the past (especially before I was married). Honestly, they don't do it for me. I'm mad I wasted money on the crap (and some of that stuff can get pretty expensive). Its just not as good as the real thing to me. So even if someone has tried it....I dont understand why women "buzz their free time away" LOL

I mean, more power to them but I just get more satisfied from my partner. Of course your partner can be incorporated in to that too... but still. Objects like that don't do it for me. I would tend to question if there is a communication barrier in the bedroom for women who do use them a lot... are they really communicating back and forth with their partner on what they want? Its not always easy but just like everything else, sex takes work.

So 40%- it seems about right to me. Many women are too embarrassed to go purchase one in the first place, even if they have the desire to.

[deleted account]

Well obviously their is nothing wrong with using a vibrator. Just because you dont use one, doesn't mean masturbation doesn't happen. I've tried one before, I'd much rather not use it. I don't think The stats are flawed. Its about using a vibrator, not who gets themselves off.

Bonnie - posted on 12/08/2010

4,813

22

262

Not only that, but there are many women out there who are only able to orgasm with oral stimulation.

Bonnie - posted on 12/08/2010

4,813

22

262

I don't have a problem with anyone using one either. To each their own. If you want to use one go right ahead. If you think it helps you out, great.

Stifler's - posted on 12/08/2010

15,141

154

604

For the record I wasn't replying to anyone in my post just the OP. I just skimmed the rest of the comments. I don't have anything against others using a vibrator either.

Amanda - posted on 12/08/2010

668

16

37

I own one, and my fiance and I have lots of fun with it!!! If you know how to use it than do it! :) Nothing wrong with a little fun in the bedroom!! That's when mom and dad get to play!! ;)

Bonnie - posted on 12/08/2010

4,813

22

262

@Jenny, I'm not bragging that I have never used one and I honestly don't think that it has anything to do with being proud. I have not used one and that is it. Are you guilty or something for using one? lol

I have fingers and they work just fine when I need them! And as Emma stated, lots of men don't have sex toys, but they still masterbate.

Stifler's - posted on 12/08/2010

15,141

154

604

P.s a lot of men don't have sex toys but they still masturbate... just saying.

Stifler's - posted on 12/08/2010

15,141

154

604

This may shock you, but it's fairly normal to orgasm without a vibrator. I own one and a you beaut dildo (have used them like twice) but nothing beats a real penis. He loves to use them on me but I just hate it, it annoys me.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms