Spoiled Rotten

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/03/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Do you think its possible for a child to be spoiled Rotten in a good way, learning Appreciation of things they get…when they get just about all there hearts desire?

What if they are given chores or a list of things they need to make sure they do well…like school, taking care of siblings, behaving while out and about with mom, dad, or whom ever the adult is

Or its impossible to spoil a child and they not turn into brats..



where do you draw the line......can you get them just about all they want without spoiling them??

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[deleted account]

I think when a child is getting what they want, simply because they want it, that's when the line starts to get crossed into "spoiling" as far as material things go. I'm not saying that kids should never be given things from time to time just because....but I think that kids need to learn to respect money (the hard work behind it) and they need to learn that nothing in this life (for the most part) will just be given to them...they need to learn to earn things too.

Charlie - posted on 10/04/2010

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You can never spoil a child with love but you can easily spoil them with objects !

I think children should learn to earn their posessions once they are old enough for chores ( my 22 month old cleans up , un packs the dishwasher ect ) i dont think they should learn to be a part of this throw away society , if they are rough with their things and dont respect them resulting in breakage they should not expect to get a new one .

Just as i was typing Cooper spilled his milk , went to the kitchen , grabbed the paper towel and wiped it up !

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Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2010

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P.S Why would you want to give a child all they desire anyway? " Mum I want a pony" Okay son we'll get you one tomorrow " Mum I want an ice cream' okay son let's go to Wendy's " Mum, I want to watch cartoons even though you're watching the news' fuck offffffff.

Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2010

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I don't agree with the sentiment of spoiling them with love. IMO spoiling a child is ruining their chances of them being a decent human being who has respect and empathy for others. Loving a child isn't spoiling them. If you love your children soooo much that they never have to do chores or share then it's not a good thing.

[deleted account]

Loureen, I didn't read any of the other posts before I commented here earlier and I just realized that I said almost the same thing as you lol And Jacob does the same thing with wiping up spills. I always keep the baby wipes where he can get them because I figure that while it's still "fun" for him to clean up his messes then HELL YEAH! LOL I know the day will come when I'll have to get on him over and over to clean so I'm taking full advantage of this time when he actually has fun doing it. He also LOVES to help me unload the dishwasher! He's got his own stool in the kitchen and I take the silverware rack out of the dishwasher (no sharp knives, obviously), set it on the counter above the silverware drawer and let him put things away. Most of the time he gets it all right (it's a sorting game for him) and if a spoon ends up with the knives here and there? Pshhh. Who cares?

Jodi - posted on 10/04/2010

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I think it depends on the child, I have a niece and nephew who are siblings, 2 years apart. They have chores and are expected to do well in school and behave properly and all that jazz. My niece is 10 and, while she gets everything she wants and then some, you would never know it. My nephew on the other hand, who has the same set of rules and also gets everything he wants and then some is the most spoiled rotten little brat I have ever met. He expects do get something to every little thing he does and expects to get things even if he doesn't done anything. He expects and wants only the most expensive toys and will complain about anything less. He expects the world to cater to his every need, due to this he is having social problems in school, he is hard to tolerate, no matter how much we love him and has some serious superiority issues for a soon to be 8 year old! I think everything in moderation is key. My daughter gets spoiled on the holidays and for her birthday and gets only a few extras here and there for a serious job well done or a "i love you" gift, but only MAYBE 3 or 4 a year. Not saying this is how it has to be done, but children don't need everything in the world to be happy regardless of whether or not it will spoil them...but...that's just my opinion and my philosophy with my daughter! To each their own!

[deleted account]

I do believe it is possible to have a child who gets everything they want and not be spoiled just as it is possible for a child to only be able to get a few of their wants and still be spoiled. Spoiled is a mind set and attitude. Teaching kids how to be grateful w/ what they have (whether it's a lot or very little) is SO important. One of our favorite sayings in this house is 'Don't be a Veruca' (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).

Becky - posted on 10/04/2010

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I think it's probably possible to give a child everything they want without spoiling them, but you'd have to work really hard at it. I also don't think that for most families, it's realistic to give their children everything they want.
Personally, I don't have the space in my house to buy my children every toy they see at Toys R Us that they say, "I want that!" My house already looks like TRU threw up in it!
I think that once kids are old enough to understand a bit about money, they should be expected to earn and save money for some of what they want. I think they should be given chores around the house. And I wholeheartedly believe that kids need to be exposed to people less fortunate than they are. As soon as my kids are old enough to not just be underfoot, I want to start volunteering somehow as a family -maybe serving Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter or something, and, I think starting this Christmas, we are going to either pick out one of their nice toys or buy a new toy to donate to kids who won't get Christmas presents otherwise. I think the important thing is for children to realize that there will be people who have more than we do - there will always be friends who have stuff they want and can't have. And there are many, many people who have way less. Many children who don't even get Christmas and birthday presents. And that we should use what we have to help others. I think if I can instill those values in them, then they won't be spoiled, regardless of whether our house is overflowing with toys they hardly play with.

Kimberly - posted on 10/04/2010

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I think it's possible as long as they aren't being rewarded for bad behavior.

Johnny - posted on 10/04/2010

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You can not spoil a child with love. You can spoil them with too many material things and lowered expectations. Not having boundaries and not expecting them to learn how to work hard for themselves and others will spoil them. Opportunities to learn empathy are also crucial for kids not to turn into adult brats.

Isobel - posted on 10/04/2010

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oh, and I also think it's important for a child to experience loss with regards to material things so that they understand that THINGS are not love and they are not the most important thing in their lives...so that would probably become a part of my discipline...taking away stuff they don't "need"...I already do that now though.

Isobel - posted on 10/04/2010

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I think it would be possible to give a child almost everything without spoiling them...the trick would be to make them work for it, and to make sure that they are exposed to "how the other half lives" through volunteering, donating, etc.

Tracey - posted on 10/04/2010

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Having worked in a toy shop for 2 years I can definitely say there are lots of spoiled kids who don't appreciate anything they are given.

JuLeah - posted on 10/04/2010

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A child can have all she/he wishes in life and still respect self/others, be accountable, set goals and follow through, show compassion/kindness to all, desire to better themselves, be 'right sized' .....

Sharon - posted on 10/03/2010

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Yes a child can be spoiled rotten.

Yes you can give a child everysinle one of their hearts desires and still have a decent well adjusted kid.

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