Starting a new job and how much to share

Katherine - posted on 02/04/2011 ( 16 moms have responded )

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You know what I mean....you work with someone for 8 hours, closely and before you know it you both know each others life stories.
I just realized this probably isn't the smartest thing to do for a variety of reasons.
I also found out things I really didn't or shouldn't need to know.
What are your opinions?

16 Comments

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Sharon - posted on 02/04/2011

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ah - except for my boss who is my friend first and also on my FB list.

Sharon - posted on 02/04/2011

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I keep my stuff private. I only discuss stuff I don't care if the world knows. Some details like I have 3 kids, in 3 different grades etc, number of pets but thats it.

Katherine - posted on 02/04/2011

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Yes, Bonnie I think you're right. People are easy to talk to and I said something I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID. It was private and personal and I should have kept it to myself, but it happened 8 years ago and I just figured hey why not?
As soon as I said it, I regretted it.
There are things I say on here I wouldn't want people to know about because sometimes it's about them LOL.
So I'm glad that the few people I've invited to CoM never joined or never joined DM.

Bonnie - posted on 02/04/2011

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I just don't want people that I know to know what I talk about on here and then come back to me and say, "oh I didn't know you felt this way or that way, blah blah blah."

As for the work part. Yeah in the past I may have said a little too much. You start talking and find the person you are talking with is easy to talk to and they are very open. It also doesn't help if there are quiet days offering a lot of chatting time.

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I don't share and if I do it isn't much. People don't need to know more than the basics about me or mine. I don't want to know their business either. Other than knowing that I married, I have 3 kids, MAYBE what their names are. That is the most people I work with need to know and more than I want to know about them. IMO I am at work to work. Not socialize.

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I don't tell my friends about COM. It's my life away from my life where i can usually get some entertainment.
Most of my friends are members on here but don't use it.

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At the only "real" job I've ever had, I was the owner, and thus the boss, so I didn't share anything that made me look weak or exposed my vulnerable spots.
My employees knew a good deal about my life, interests, and family--I bragged on my son, told them about great vacations, thrifty shopping (we all loved scouting sales, thrift shops & yard sales) and such, but anything negative--behavior issues with J, arguments with hubs, and such--I keep to myself.

I do love to share with co-workers,and sharing about ourselves and making friends with people we work with creates stronger bonds, and a happier work place, thus increasing moral and production, but I feel like I need to be careful what I share--people can be vicious. the jobs I had before that were just "school jobs" clerking at a store, and a pizza place, even in places like that, people would use what they knew about you to push you back. So I share,and I made it easy and comfortable for my employees to share, but I share and encourage sharing selectively.
Due to over enthusiastic sharing, I have learned a thing or two about past employees that negatively impacted their career. I know I would have made different decisions had I not known certain things, but I couldn't "unhear" it, and I couldn't ignore it....so, share, but make sure it's positive stuff.

[deleted account]

I used to have a real life friend here in CoM and I scared her away lol She actually stopped talking to me. There was no argument or anything, but I got the distinct impression that she had no idea how I felt about a lot of things...how I really felt (feel) until she read some of it on here. She ran far, far away lol Since then, I do tell people about CoM sometimes but I don't tell them how to get here and I don't let it post on my FB wall or they would have a link lol



As for the sharing at work thing? I tend to be the one that everyone tells everything to. I just keep my mouth shut and listen to other people tell their life stories. Once I get to know someone, I'm a talker and will tell anything anyone wants to know. But in the begining, I'm pretty quiet and try to keep what comes out of my mouth work related.

Katherine - posted on 02/04/2011

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Nooooo, I really don't want friends or family in here, this is MY world lol.

Becky - posted on 02/04/2011

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I'm usually fairly reserved at first, until I get to know people better. But at my old job, where I'd worked for 7 years, I don't think there was very much we didn't know about each other! An outsider coming into our lunchroom conversations would have been seriously disturbed some days! lol

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/04/2011

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LOL....yeah but some employees hate the boss just becouse "they are the man" or she could be a sucky employee and the boss secretly hates her!! LOL...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/04/2011

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HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Me too Katherine...you ask me where I got my shoes, and I will tell you my family history!

Ok, so do you not want her in this private life of yours???? I have been tempted to invite some of my real life friends in here, but I just don't wanna.....

Katherine - posted on 02/04/2011

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Well I didn't need to know what a jerk my boss was! It was my second day!
I told this person about CoM too and with my luck she'll become a member of DM.
talk too much too. Waaay too much. I mean I get comfortable and get diarrhea of the mouth.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/04/2011

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OOOOOOooooooo...tell us the juicy gossip! I don't get out much,,,

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/04/2011

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Oh man...I am totally that person....then I go home and worry if I told to much!!! LOL.....but hell, that is how I made some pretty damn good friends. I try to keep my trap shut...I just cannot help but TALK!!!

Brandi - posted on 02/04/2011

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Not sure on this. It seems like work is also where you make friends. I know just about everything about the people I work with and vice versa. Afraid I am not really to big of help on this.

Maybe just listen to what they say, but when it comes to your business just don't say anything at all??

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