Stepchild( not really a stepchild but has lived with us a year, age 17

Kim - posted on 06/01/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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When a 17 year old wont clean up after herself. Today she dyed a friends hair in our apartment. Red dye on my counter and all over her bathroom, tub, sink, bad on floor , a few drops of bright red on carpet and now she just left it and went to work. Brought home a new kitten two weeks ago, said she would take care of it....nope.
This child broke her father and me up once. I love this man with all my heart. But not sure I can stay with him if he doesnt confront her on these issues. I dont want to lose him, but he knows how i feel about cleaning up after herself. she is not a little kid. Any ideas would be helpful..

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/14/2015

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If she's not your child, and not your step child, is she a foster?
How could a child who is not yours, and not his have enough clout between the two of you to break you up?
Oh, wait...You and her father aren't married, are you? And he's siding with his daughter...am I close? If that's the case, and he can't see the necessity of discipline, and responsibility to herself and others, there's nothing you can do. Cut your losses, and find someone who has the same parenting values that you do.

Cutemommy - posted on 06/03/2015

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If she doesn't clean after herself and he thinks it is OK then have him clean up after her. Honestly some people are dirty I have a relative living with us and although they are the sweetest and helpful they are veeeerrrrryy dirty like when they open the door is smells like homelessness, it looks like another world compared to our house IDK what i should personally. It sucks but you need to remind him your helping her out by teaching her the importance of being cleanly. Maybe you should talk to her about it instead of waiting for him to tell her. A cat in an apartment though... I live in an apartment and I told my daughter no animals till we get a house. He needs to know by spoiling her and not setting goals for her he is harming her can you imagine what her house will look like when she gets her own smh. she is young now imagine a grown person that should already know better ugggggghhhhhhhhhh whhhhhhhyyy

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