stolen from young moms

Isobel - posted on 12/14/2010 ( 40 moms have responded )

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Do you think it's going over board to insist that ALL visitors to see your infant (before they are immunized) should get immunized or stay away?

Would you be willing to lose friends over this? Is it enough to just say don't come if you're sick or would you insist that all adults make sure that their boosters are up to date?

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Jodi - posted on 12/14/2010

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Laura, you mentioned in an earlier post that the chances of getting sick from someone who wasn't sick have got to be slim...for most illnesses, you are contagious BEFORE you start showing symptoms. By the time you show symptoms, it can be too late. We learned this the hard way through my mother who has cancer and is undergoing chemo. My daughter and I (both seemingly perfectly healthy) visited my mom one morning, my mom got sick the next day (suppressed immune system meant she couldn't fight it off for any length of time) and we ended up getting sick the next night. It was croupe, never knew we had it until AFTER we gave it to my mom (who had to be hospitalized for 3 days, mostly for observation to ensure it didn't develop into pneumonia). So, I would wager, with that being the case, you're more likely to get sick from someone who doesn't appear sick (yet).

[deleted account]

I think it's a bit overboard to INSIST on it, but I think she is well within her rights to ASK. I imagine friends and family would respect her wishes.

I don't vaccinate and I make sure that people know my child's unvaccinated status especially if they have younger or vulnerable children. Not because I think my child is a germ-factory but because I respect their wishes to do as they see fit for their child. When my son was born I had a few friends who didn't meet him for a week or so because either they or their family had been sick and they wanted to stay away until they knew the risk of passing that sickness on to either me or my baby was lessened. It is a sensible and considerate way to be, I think. If a friend or family member had a new baby and asked me and my family to stay away because of our vaccination status I would respect that as their choice, their prerogative.

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Sharon - posted on 12/14/2010

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pft - I wouldn't insist on anyone getting a shot they didn't want.

But they wouldn't be coming near my unvaccinated child. Thats all.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/14/2010

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I agree with the mind set if, If you or anyone in your house is sick....have the courtesy to stay away.

Shauna - posted on 12/14/2010

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Nikki--- i dont think you were obsessed at all! A lil girl at my work got whooping cough this year when she was 7 weeks old, she had to be out of daycare for a whole year and was hospitalized for months, her immune system is still bad from it. It almost took her life, since i know her well i would have never thought something like that would happen to someone i know, so you did the right thing!!!!

Lacye - posted on 12/14/2010

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I don't think she is going overboard at all. She is looking out for the best for her child. I wouldn't let many people around my daughter when she was younger. Even the ones that were allowed around her had to wash their hands before they touched her. I never had to ask them either but if they did try to touch her they would be told to wash hands.

Stifler's - posted on 12/14/2010

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haha i never even thought about it. i actually am still in disbelief that there are people out there who don't vaccinate.

Isobel - posted on 12/14/2010

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You know what...I'm taking for granted that all my friends vaccinate...maybe if I knew somebody IRL who was opposed I would ask them...but it's unlikely.

[deleted account]

All my friends and family vaccinate so i don't think ti would ever be a problem. None of them wouyld come near if they were sick anyway they all have common sence to stay away.
Does it make me a bad mum because i NEVER made or encouraged anyone to wash hands before holding my babies?

Sharon - posted on 12/14/2010

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My FRIENDS wouldn't have an issue with this being immunised against a disease that could kill my child.

Jessica - posted on 12/14/2010

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I think its a bit overboard, yes. I'm due at the end of January and all that we ask is that anyone who is sick stay away.

Meghan - posted on 12/14/2010

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I am sorry Nikki, I am trying to take it seriously. I was afraid of germs and made everyone wash their hands and all that jazz...but when it comes to serious illnesses while I don't really want un vaccinated people around my kid I just wouldn't go this far. Plus I didn't get much sleep last nite.

Nikki - posted on 12/14/2010

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Hey, don't be nasty some of us were crazy hormonal paranoid mummas! I can't help it *drops lip and hangs head* lol

Meghan - posted on 12/14/2010

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If it was casually brought up that a friend hadn't had a shot and had been complaining of symptoms of polio then yea, I would tell them to give it a few days. I just don't see how this would come up in a NORMAL conversation...and I am one of the most random you will ever meet.

*Edit* I really can not stop laughing about this.

Isobel - posted on 12/14/2010

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and the chances of your kid getting sick from somebody who is not sick gotta be kinda slim (less than a car accident...and I'm sure we all put them in cars when necessary)

Isobel - posted on 12/14/2010

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I just think that insisting that other people get their booster, while they are well and denying a well person a chance to meet your baby suggests you might be the kind of mother I don't really wanna hang out with anyways.

I would have no problem telling people not to come around if they are sick or coming down with something...but my friends wouldn't anyway, that's just common sense.

Stifler's - posted on 12/14/2010

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I don't think any of my friends are the kind of people who would come over if they were sick or their kid was sick. Or my family. I don't actually know anyone who doesn't vaccinate either.

Jodi - posted on 12/14/2010

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Yes, I think it is over the top. I'm like Meghan, it actually would never have crossed my mind. I am pro-vax, but I figure I can't control everyone else's decisions.

Meghan - posted on 12/14/2010

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I have NEVER had that thought cross my mind. REALLY???? What would you have a freakin questionnaire outside your door. Check yes/no if you are currently up to date with immunizations.
I firmly believe in most immunizations but I never in a millionaire years would think to grill everyone I know about it...I am not THAT paranoid.

[deleted account]

Yeah, I think that's a little over the top. I think it's enough to ask that if people are sick that they wait until they feel better to visit. Anyone visiting is gonna be either family or a friend anyhow, so I'm sure they would oblige.

Nikkole - posted on 12/14/2010

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I think its a bit over bored if your sick and you fell sick or think you may be just STAY HOME and if your not just wash your hands i mean thats just common sense when messing with little babies anyway! My kids are up to date on vaccines but im not other kids moms or other adults mom so who am i to say they HAVE to get vaccinated i would like them to and appreciate it but i cant make them!

Nikki - posted on 12/14/2010

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I can understand in some ways, I went through a similar thing. When Isobel was born we had a whooping cough epidemic where we lived, my Doctor actually told me to ensure all close family members were immunised, which didn't really go down very well with the MIL. The only reason I insisted was because they were around my daughter all the time. As far as friends went I didn't bother, but you betcha I asked if they were showing any signs of sickness before they came to visit. I also made everyone wash their hands on arrival at my house and before holding the baby, yes I was a little obsessed! As soon as she was 8 weeks and had her own vaccinations it didn't bother me however.

Looking back now I was possibly a little crazy about the whole thing, but I was a new mum, I was scared of all the media reports discussing new cases of whooping cough in newborns and obviously it is an emotionally driven time. I possibly wouldn't make the exact same choices now, but then I am a lot more relaxed about parenting now.

Bonnie - posted on 12/14/2010

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I think it is a bit much. I think that as long as they wash their hands before handling the baby and if they are ill they should wait until they are better. I do the same thing in return. It's only fair and responsible. I think the last things a person would want to hear is that they were likely the cause of making a baby sick.

Erica - posted on 12/14/2010

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I expect my friends to stay away if they are sick, just like I would do with my friends.

Caitlin - posted on 12/14/2010

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I asked people that were sick not to hold the baby. That's pretty much it.. Everyone washed their hands first, and if it was just a little sniffle I didn't panic or anything, I mean, when i'm sick I still hold and nurse my baby, so a fw germs wont really be that bad. That being said, the whopping cough thing isn't really big around here, but if it was, i'd make sure everyone was vaccinated..

Becky - posted on 12/14/2010

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I never even thought about whether people were immunized or not when they held my kids! So yes, to me, that's overboard. Although, I agree with the Danas too, if something like measles or whooping cough was going around, then I would be more wary of people who hadn't been immunized - especially kids, because they're far less cautious than adults - being around my kids before they themselves could be immunized.

Jocelyn - posted on 12/14/2010

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I definitely think that's going overboard.
If you're sick, just don't breath on my baby! Wash your hands, and we're all good.

Rachel - posted on 12/14/2010

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II was a germ-a-phoebe before my little girl, and a major one when she was born! I've since then calmed down after watching the inevitable eating of food off the floor and kissing of the dogs or sharing of food with said dogs. Grosses me out and it's discouraged, but I don't panic anymore!

Anyway...it's over the top to be asking for records or refusing anyone unless there's something going around crazy in the area. I did however tell family members who were sick to not visit until well. I ticked several people off who wanted to see her, and I was totally good with it. My ex's side of the family had a horrible habit of going to hospitals and all over when they were sick and I wasn't having it. I also had everyone either wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before holding her.

But as said before, they can't and shouldn't be protected from everything. Their immune system has to build up so sadly germs are necessary. And we can't put them in bubbles, no matter how much some of us might want to.

[deleted account]

Yep. Overboard.

My nephews (3.5 and almost 2) aren't immunized. I've had no problems w/ having my son (2years 8months) in their house since birth. We're still over there on an extremely regular basis. Because of the differences in immune systems (no clue if it's due to immunizations or genetics or what)... I'm more concerned w/ us getting THEM sick than I've ever been of them getting us sick.

Tara - posted on 12/14/2010

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I would insist they wash their hands and stay away if they are feeling ill, feverish or have a cough or cold. That said, none of my friends or family would visit if the above mentioned symptoms were present.
I would not ask for up to date vac. records nor ask whether they have been vaccinated.
I think that is over the top and unnecessary. Your child won't be fully immunized for several months after being born, you can not protect them from strangers at the super market or doctors office etc. and unless you are staying in your home until your child is about 2, you can't avoid possible infectious diseases entirely.

Jodi - posted on 12/14/2010

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For me, I most definately would. I did this with my daughter and I have already brought it up since I'm due with twins in March (or end of February lol) Whooping Cough (or pertussis) has become an issue here in my area. I trust my family and friends, so no I don't ask for proof...I don't associate with people whom I think would lie to me, that's just my policy.
It is no more extreme than my asking my sister to not smoke around my baby, and if we go to her house and she lights up, we leave. Has she gotten offended...yes, but it's my child. Now, do I interrogate random visitors at the door? No. I"m pretty sure the woman from Young Moms asking the question is of the same mind as myself, it's not for every single person who may ever come into contact with our babies, it's for those who have the most contact, frequent contact and therefor are the most likely to spread any harmful or deadly diseases that there are immuzations against. When my neighbor from 2 blocks down, whom I see in passing about twice a year comes to visit the babies, I won't ask her if she's been immunized, I will ask that she wash ehr hands. But my MIL, who will be here every other day, or my sister who will be coming over once or twice a week with her children, yes, I will ask that they be immunized at the very least against whooping cough, and hopefully have all of their boosters up to date, or to please refrain from visiting until my babies are old enough to get their own immunizations.

Over board or not in any opinions, it's a parent's choice and right to protect their child however they see fit. And yes, I would be willing to lose friends over the health of my children. If my friends (or family) can't respect my rights and wishes pertaining to the health and safety of my children, then we weren't as good of friends as I thought. Thankfully, everyone I know has been more than understanding. My family had already gotten their boosters this time around without my even asking.

[deleted account]

I'm with Dana -- it would depend on several things. Who is it? Where have they been? What's been going on in our community and country? But, I am swaying slightly more toward "over board".

Dana - posted on 12/14/2010

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Depends, if I had a friend who didn't immunize their children and I lived somewhere where certain diseases were making a comeback, then yes, I would want them to stay away from my kids. If that created a loss of friendship, so be it.

Cherese - posted on 12/14/2010

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That is overboard to me. I think the unspoken rules "stay away if you are sick when dealing with a newborn" and "wash your hands before touching the baby" is enough. You cant completely control all contact and exposure with other people, all you will do is drive yourself crazy stressing over it.



If thats the case you might as well hand out surgical masks and hospital gowns at the door.

Krista - posted on 12/14/2010

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I think that's overboard, yes. I mean, are you going to ask them to bring their immunization records as proof? And besides...having been immunized still isn't proof, because two days before they got their shot, they could have contracted something and be incubating it, right?

Basically, my friends aren't assholes, and I know that if I had a newborn and they were sick, they would wait until they were well to come over. And yes, there's the possibility that they might not be showing symptoms yet and are incubating something. Any of my friends who visited Sam when he was first born went to our powder room and washed their hands before holding him. I didn't have to ask them to do this -- they just did it of their own volition, and I was satisfied with that.

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