"Suck it up" "Put on your big girl panties"

Nicole - posted on 01/21/2011 ( 68 moms have responded )

736

6

98

When is it appropriate to tell someone to "suck it up, princess" "put on your big girl panties" or some other statement along those lines?

Is it dependent on the situation, or the relationship you have with the person you are speaking to?

I think that there is a time and a place for this, but in general I think it is a disrespectful thing to say to someone, especially a stranger.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rosie - posted on 01/21/2011

8,657

30

321

after a while you get to know people and how they talk on here. sharon is pretty blunt when she talks, she doesn't sugarcoat. at first i was offended, after while i got to understand her and i am completely in love with her now, lol.

i don't know, i think it just depends on who the person is and their personality.

~Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2011

4,164

61

369

Honestly, I'm so sick of PC crap that I think everyone should expect to hear "suck it up".

Too much 'polite' bullshit these days....sometimes 'polite' is worse than the truth.
It's almost impossible to be honest anymore. no one wants to hear an honest opinion, and when they hear it, they're *offended*.

Krista - posted on 01/21/2011

12,562

16

847

A lot of it depends on HOW it's said, though.

If I just said, "Suck it up", as a declarative statement to someone I didn't know, then yes, they could definitely see that as rude.

If, however, in the context of the conversation, I said, "Well, your situation is hard, but unfortunately with these things, sometimes you just have to suck it up", then I don't see that as being particularly rude.

So I think it depends on the situation, the relationship, HOW it's said, and also the speaker. Some people are good at being blunt, but in a kind way. Other people are blunt and are mean about it.

There are so many variables there that it's pretty much impossible to give a definitive answer.

Charlie - posted on 01/21/2011

11,203

111

409

Dana it usually just serves as a wake up call to pull myself together , I could see how it might be rude if I were genuinely upset about something big but it's never happened while I was upset over something traumatic so I don't really know .

This conversation has been closed to further comments

68 Comments

View replies by

Tara - posted on 01/22/2011

2,567

14

114

Yes and it's weird.
Obviously this is a public board. BUT for the most part we all know what to expect from each other. I read the posts too and at no point did I think what was said was rude or derogatory. It was said in a light hearted manner after several polite exchanges.
We could start a new thread about "personalities: what's yours? so that everyone knows what to expect from certain people, put it up at the top with the locked threads so people can read it before they get their panties all in a twitch.

Stifler's - posted on 01/22/2011

15,141

154

604

people love sharon because she doesn't post whingey rants and just sucks it up.

Sarah - posted on 01/22/2011

5,465

31

344

*******MOD WARNING*******

I'm going to lock this thread, as Jodi has pointed out, it's debating one certain individual, which isn't really fair.

~Sarah - Admin~

Jodi - posted on 01/22/2011

3,562

36

3907

Anyway, isn't this thread a violation of No THUMPS anyway, by targeting a specific member?



I'll be blatantly honest, I saw this thread hours ago and didn't respond, because I saw it as a whine, simply because it was a reaction to a particular thread, and someone had gotten herself upset over it.



I have since seen that Nicole was just asking a question, but she saw fit to pinpoint a particular member, as did others.....not sure how I see that an entire thread to specifically call out one member is particularly fair, regardless of whether anyone feels it is called for or not.

Katherine - posted on 01/22/2011

65,420

232

5195

Well, Sharon has always been that way. I don't know why it's so *shocking* If it came from anyone elses's mouth I would be offended yes. And sometimes Sharon has offended me but I just let it roll because I know that's her personality. I have deleted her posts before for other people's sake.
I'm just saying that's how she is, she doesn't get "special" treatment though.
♥ You Sharon :)

Jodi - posted on 01/22/2011

3,562

36

3907

It's not. The difference is, other people carry it on....and on and on. Telling someone to suck it up isn't violating any rules, and it is only offensive if it is perceived that way. I actually read that post, and I didn't think it was in any way offensive. She was just being truthful.

I tell my 13 year old to suck it up sometimes too. Do you consider that to be abusive? Or do you think I am probably being truthful?

Jenn - posted on 01/22/2011

2,683

36

96

So why is it more acceptable from her versus someone else? Just curious. Like, let's say the shoe was on the other foot and Nicole had said it and it offended Sharon (OK perhaps not the best example as she likely wouldn't be offended) - what then? Would we just say - oh it's OK because it's just Nicole. Or would she get a virtual spanking?

Jodi - posted on 01/22/2011

3,562

36

3907

Interestingly, if this thread was aimed at anyone else, it would probably be deleted for violation of No THUMPS, LOL. But because Sharon doesn't give a shit, it won't have been reported, and there is probably only one person who cares :D

Katherine - posted on 01/22/2011

65,420

232

5195

I just got in on this thread but I just have to say, Sharon is Sharon. I NEVER take what she says personally. I just know she isn't going to sugar coat and she will tell it like it is. Kind of like that. No need to beat around the bush. Can she be abrasive? Sure. It's HER though.

Stifler's - posted on 01/22/2011

15,141

154

604

It makes me think of the cotton tails old people wear lolololol

Nicole - posted on 01/21/2011

736

6

98

If the only thing you could read in my response to you was the fact that I found the words, "suck it up" offensive and failed to see that I was thanking you for your advice. I did appreciate your contribution to the conversation. Did nothing else I had to say register? If so, then suck it up. Put on your big girl panties.

If no one wanted to come to my child's birthday party then I would get a babysitter for my son and take her out for the day and not bother with the lot of it. Asking about how people respond to the words, "suck it up" would be irelevant. People do want to come to her party, which means I need to throw a party and deal with all of the work that goes along with planning a birthday party. All the same, I think it will be pretty fun. She loves to swim and so we're having the party at the pool. Then we are having cupcakes and fruit/veggie platters.

I knew there were no other options for me then to do the best I could with what I knew. I wasn't needing advice, I was asking opinion.

Sharon - posted on 01/21/2011

11,585

12

1315

What if the person it is said to has been whinging on and on about the same issue and despite all advice given is still searching around for more options but none are forthcoming or evident?

The presented options from the entire group of strangers is all there is in this pool.

And as a last effort to drive home the point that there are no other options "I know its stressing you out Nicole but this is one of those times you're gonna have suck it up."

This is after 2 or 3 other posts from ME, and me alone where I offered personal insight, options and personal testimony along with many others here.

The rest of the post was quite convivial, cordial, full of the bon hommie of shared pain in the ass mom hood.

Frankly - at this point, I think people who take offense after such polite and extensive posting by one person are just looking for something to strike out at because they are full of rage at someone else but they can't or won't strike at those who deserve it.

If this is making you feel better because no one wants to come to your childs birthday party, knock yourself out.

Nicole - posted on 01/21/2011

736

6

98

I agree. Some people need a good kick in the pants and that gets them moving. Some people get a kick in the pants and crumble into a little ball and start crying.

And then there are people who turn around and kick you back.

Charlie - posted on 01/21/2011

11,203

111

409

I think it matters more who is receiving it really as opposed to who is saying it .

Stifler's - posted on 01/21/2011

15,141

154

604

Exactly that.. hangovers, the damn people down the road and their doof doof at 8PM (maybe not as trivial if it's at 2am), their loungeroom being messy obviously not things like divorce, their kid dying, their husband abusing them, broken bones, etc.

Charlie - posted on 01/21/2011

11,203

111

409

I think most people can tell when something is not worth the dramatic moaning some people work themselves into especially a friend and you really don't want to see a friend dig a hole over something that isn't worth their unhappiness .

for example Emma says " oh my hangover I feel like dying , I can't do anything , I hate today "

Me " suck it up princess " LOL

I don't know , maybe it's just the bluntness of Aussies , we just roll like that haha.

Isobel - posted on 01/21/2011

9,849

0

286

I think Eve was 5 the first time she told her brother (3) to "suck it up buttercup" cutest thing ever.

What's a bogan?

Stifler's - posted on 01/21/2011

15,141

154

604

I agree it's when people are upset by something indisputably trivial

Nicole - posted on 01/21/2011

736

6

98

Interesting, I’ve never heard “sack up” before.

“I heard a pre primary teacher say "suck it up princess" to a 5 year old boy who on the ground crying in pain because he'd hurt his goolies.”

I totally agree. That would be a bad time to use the expression.

“But if it's coming from Sharon or Loureen or some of the other ladies here, it's usually the okay kind of suck it up. “

Okay, good to knowJ

“Yeah, suck it up here is never a rude thing to say. Just a blunt way of saying there's nothing else to be done. *shrugs* “

Okay. I see. Thanks. I would interpret the statement in a much different way. It’s good to hear that it is not always intended to be aggressive.

“But what if it's not a good mate saying it to you, Loureen? What if it's a stranger or someone you don't care for? I agree, there are some people in my life that can tell me to suck it up and I will but it's uber frustrating when people I don't know well or don't care much for say it! Just makes me defensive and irritated!”

That’s how I felt. I felt defensive, not angry or sad, just rubbed the wrong way.

I am so glad that this was discussed while I was gone. Reading the comments has given me a lot to think about.

I assure you, I'm not sore, just curious.

[deleted account]

I'm offended that Loureen is implying that only bogans use "eat a bag of concrete and harden the f%#k up". I'm NOT a bogan!

And Jenn, thanks for saying what I was thinking.

[deleted account]

But what if it's not a good mate saying it to you, Loureen? What if it's a stranger or someone you don't care for? I agree, there are some people in my life that can tell me to suck it up and I will but it's uber frustrating when people I don't know well or don't care much for say it! Just makes me defensive and irritated!

Minnie - posted on 01/21/2011

7,076

9

788

Yeah, suck it up here is never a rude thing to say. Just a blunt way of saying there's nothing else to be done. *shrugs*

[deleted account]

we use the term grow a pair, grow some balls or use your balls...stuff like that....it sounds pretty bad when in writing.....LOL

Charlie - posted on 01/21/2011

11,203

111

409

I don't think I have ever heard "suck it up " in a rude way more just a mate who cares giving you a good kick up the ass when you need it .

Ez - posted on 01/21/2011

6,569

25

237

It must be a cultural thing. People say it all the time here and nobody cares. They just move on!

~Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2011

4,164

61

369

That's absolutely an invite.



(and I'll show you how to tell someone else to 'suck it up' and live to tell the story.)

Charlie - posted on 01/21/2011

11,203

111

409

I've been told to suck it up in RL and I did , sometimes you just need to be told especially when I am moaning and feeling sorry for myself about insignificant shit .

Ez - posted on 01/21/2011

6,569

25

237

Telling a child to suck it up doesn't ever sit well with me, because it implies that they are having their feelings dismissed (not cool when coming from a caregiver). But an adult? If someone gets offended by being told to suck it up, they need to eat that bag of concrete Loureen mentioned :-p

Krista - posted on 01/21/2011

12,562

16

847

@Kylie: yeah, I would have kicked that teacher in the box and then told HER to suck it up. What an awful thing for an adult to say to a little kid who is in genuine physical pain!

Tara - posted on 01/21/2011

2,567

14

114

To me it's all about context and intent. If it was meant in the context of "enough of the whining:" and the intent was "move on already" no problem.
But if the context was more like "quit bitchin you fucktard" and the intent was "go away and don't come back" then no it's not okay.
Unfortunately on the internet it is sometimes (more often than not) hard to tell which is which.
But if it's coming from Sharon or Loureen or some of the other ladies here, it's usually the okay kind of suck it up.

Kylie - posted on 01/21/2011

2,391

81

190

I heard a pre primary teacher say "suck it up princess" to a 5 year old boy who on the ground crying in pain because he'd hurt his goolies.
Totally disrespectful and uncalled for.

[deleted account]

I believe it is a dependent on the situation, the relationship and the person you are talking to. I would probably never say that to a stranger but I know I have been tempted. I know I tell my girls to suck it up about every other day or so.

Charlie - posted on 01/21/2011

11,203

111

409

Bogans ( Aussie rednecks ) around here like to say " eat some concrete "
( and harden the F!#$@ up )

Stifler's - posted on 01/21/2011

15,141

154

604

My friends and I tell each other to harden up and harden the fuck up and suck it up princess constantly when they're having a whinge. It's funny and totally needed sometimes when someone is being a sook and ruining the mood.

Stifler's - posted on 01/21/2011

15,141

154

604

I think like Loureen said, when someone is acting like a child or whingeing about things they can easily do something about.

Jenn - posted on 01/21/2011

2,683

36

96

How about if I say "suck it up, buttercup". Does that sound nicer? LOL!! I can't imagine a stranger just saying that to someone for no reason, and if someone did say it to me there's probably a reason - because I need to quit whining.

Bonnie - posted on 01/21/2011

4,813

22

262

If it's done in a jokingly way than I am okay with it, but sometimes it is difficult to realise it is a joke when it is the internet.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms