suing mom

Tah - posted on 04/09/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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A 16 year old boy is suing his mother for harrassment because she "hacked into"...she says that it was left open at her house...into his facebook, changed the password and made comments. She said she talked to him about some of his posting and there were maybe 4 in all. She said she was concerned because of things he was posting and doing and and he had been warned prior to this. In one post he admitted to going on a date 90 miles away, getting upset with his date and driving home at 90mph..which needless to say he could have killed himself and her, and whomever else.



He has retained a lawyer and is suing for harrassment.



Are you kidding me?. I do not think she should have had a conversation with him about this on fb, but i absolutely thing she has the right to check and monitor his fb account. I would want to know if my child who has just gotten his license is doing 90mph for 90 miles, before the knock of the cops on the door to identify his body. I can't believe we are to the point where children are suing their parents over these things.



Do we think that children are getting to many rights and that our rights as parents are in jeopardy?



where does it end? Just because you can sue for something..should you...



FOR SHARON..BECAUSE IM A GEM...THE BOY APPARENTLY LIVES WITH HIS GRANMOTHER AND NOT HIS MOTHER....I AM ADDING THIS FOR FULL DISCLOSURE.



it doesn't change how i feel about the case though....

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Johnny - posted on 04/13/2010

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It seems to me that there is an enormous difference between snooping in your child's stuff, be it Facebook or a diary and actually posting and changing their stuff. In my opinion, a parent is well within their rights to check up on what their child is up to, no matter how intrusive that may feel to the child. Until the age of 18 (or whatever the age of majority is) the parents (or custody holder) are entirely responsible for that child's well-being and actions. As someone else mentioned, parents can be held liable for their children's actions and are certainly viewed by the state as being completely legally accountable for the child's health and safety. If a parent feels that to do their job effectively they must invade their child's privacy, that is their right.

Now going in and changing things and putting up posts is just plain harassment and if that is the case, I think he may have good reason for suing her. She is doing more than invading his privacy to protect him and his family. She is interfering in his personal life for more than just his protection. I think children have the right not to have their parents assume their identity and act in their steed. That is just going too far. It is one thing to answer the phone pretending to be your kid to find out who is calling, it's quite another to make plans and gossip as them. This mom went too far. From the sounds of these articles, she has some real issues that should be addressed. Perhaps the only recourse her son has left is the courts.

Tah - posted on 04/13/2010

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different strokes for different folks, my son's grandmother(on his father's side) went from being a RN to a drug addict, she still came home helped them with homework was there to listen. She is now clean and working and they still give her respect, there are other situations where people dont but i can't judge..i also dont believe just because the kid lives with grandma the mother isnt the mother. people live with other people for different reasons, sometimes convience, my nephew used to stay with my mom during the week because the school near my sister's house was the worse, they were beating up teachers and crossing guards not to mention each other and a bunch of other unacceptable crap, my sister made sure he had everthing he needed and would come and take him to activites when she got off work at the hospital, so i dont know the situation. The son, from what i have seen didnt deny being at his moms house or having his fb page up so apparently he sees her, prob goes, chills, eats and of course uses the computer, Also my brother was just at my house to eat and the other stuff brothers do when they come around and he if he saw my sons page up with some crap on it, i wouldn't have a problem with him locking my son out and telling me what he was up too..he would just be doing what i would do, saving me time. I think it takes a village to raise a child, i can't be everywhere at once and if someone else can notice something and intervene, whether its the non-custodial parent, aunt, siblings, grandparents or friends.

my nephews come over here to chill and the ones that live in philly come for the summer and if i saw something on one of the fb pages of the ones under 18, yuo better believe im all over it and my sisters will only be upset if i didnt step in...of course the ones 18-22 are grown but if i saw that they were speeding or doing other reckless things than i would still pull rank and let them know they were being stupid and need to get it together, but the children in my family are respectful, still at those ages and would never think to take us to court for this crap, yes she could have handled it better but i still think this is overboard...

Sharon - posted on 04/13/2010

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If this were a real mother & son scenario - I'd say this has no reason to be in court.



Only the mother says the friend called. She also says he was at her house and left his fb page up and logged in, thats when she went in and changed his password.



This whole thing screams "fuck up". I'm sure the kid has been a little shit head.



The whole reason this is able to go to court is because she is not the custodial parent.



This would be like your uncle logging on to your FB account and fucking around.



She is NOT his mother. Why, I don't know, is this a legal custodial change? I don't know. But if she were so concerned why isn't she actually parenting him? I don't believe this tower of crap.



I think the grandmother is oblivious. And maybe its an indicator that she shouldn't be in charge either.



As for having a parent who is a crack head and still giving them respect... no fucking way. I don't even respect alcoholic parents. I barely respect parents that smoke because of how they are killing themselves by inches in front of their childrens eyes and they won't stop. Its like standing on a sidewalk and inching towards the busy street. YOU MIGHT make it across without being hit by a car - but I wouldn't count on it.

Tah - posted on 04/12/2010

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well sharon you have said it twice so. i only read that he was living with his grandmother, but the articles i read werent clear on if it was because of the incident or not, but i trust that you have found this out by what you read..heres my deal though, even if she was being one..and she may have and i think i said she shouldnt have posted to his page, but she is still his mother.



There are many reasons children live with grandparents and i amnot going to speculate, he still needs to show her respect, cause if grams can't do something for him, im sure ma gets a call. I also read that one of his friends were worried about his behavior and called the mother, why not call the grandmother, she may be letting the little twerp get away with murder and the friend thought mom could get this kid in line. I know people who had parents with drug problems and guess what when mama came around, they gave her respect and I think he should too.



Apparently she cares, some moms could give a rats behind if the kid is driving 90 or whatever else he was posting that made his friend tell on him. If your friend thinks your out of hand at 16..guess what..you prob are....i was watching the news and people said that being online is like writing in your diary...well..anything in my diary i am not putting on fb you can believe that. These children have too many rights and I think this proves it.

Sharon - posted on 04/12/2010

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I think the OP needs to add that the "mother" is not the custodial parent.

I don't know about her article but the articles I've read all mention that she posted slanderous things about him 'causing emotional harm. They must have been pretty bad because neither the "mother" nor the son will say what they were. The only comment she has made is "I might have posted 3 or 4 things."

She was being a bitch. Probably pissed off her mother is raising her son.

LaCi - posted on 04/12/2010

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I think it was wrong. I'm not sure that I feel its criminal, but its absolutely wrong to impersonate someone. If she were just checking up on him thats one thing, but she was actually screwing with his information and leaving comments. Who knows what the hell this woman was doing.

Rosie - posted on 04/10/2010

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um, hello? what lawyer in their right mind would take this case? so if my child were to kill the date because he got into an accident while going 90 miles an hour THE PARENTS would be responsible for all monetary damages. we are responsible for what our children do, and for out children to all a sudden be able to sue for harassment is bullshit.

La - posted on 04/10/2010

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Parents have custody until the child is 18 years of age for a reason...because they are still children and don't always make the best choices. If this kid doesn't like that mom is checking up on him then he can get a job and get the hell out of her house.

Jess - posted on 04/10/2010

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Recently I got into a debate here on COM with someone who started a simple post asking for some advise. The first response she got was to sue and straight away she responded with the fact that she has now booked in a meeting with her lawyer. So she had every intention to sue and just wanted some support. I think it was ridiculous. She was suing her doctor for saving her babies life and just so happened to cut her baby with the forceps in the process. The child will never know, and will have no lasting marks or damage. So this was just a cash grab. Causing everyone's health premiems to rise !

So no, just because you can sue doesn't mean you should ! As for the case of this mother and son, here in Australia this case would be laughed out of court, at 16 a child doesn't have the right to "privacy" while they are opening admitting online that they have broken the law and endangered other people's lives !

Carolee - posted on 04/09/2010

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We are parents for a reason, and the courts shouldn't be able to take that away from us.

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i think that shouldnt be allowed. it was a parent and normally they would laugh a case like that out of court, at least where im from they would. if hes still a minor she has every right to do what she feels necessary to keep him safe especially on the internet. my step mom used to go thru my stuff all the time and there was nothing i could do. i think kids have too many rights these days. i wouldnt put that all over facebook, but if my child was doing that i would get involved. theres nothing wrong with looking into that stuff while they live under your roof as minors. once they are 18 they can dow aht they want. but as minors its the parents job to know whats going on and if that means reading emails and facebook stuff so be it. they are taking measures keeping them safe. they teach them alot of this stuff in schools these days. theres so much crap going on that kids are taking over. parents are afraid to parent because kids are now threatening with cps and to sue. its ridiculous.

Caitlin - posted on 04/09/2010

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There was a case here in Quebec (Canada) of a separated couple who had a daughter in 6th grade. They had shared custody, so both parents would have to okay a school trip and the father refused to sign off on a grade 6 grad trip because she was being punished for something or other and she took him to court and won! She was allowed to go on the trip and the courts overrode his parental authority.. Seriously.. I think it's going way too far. Though A conversation on facebook probably wasn't the best place to bring it up, he shouldn't be so stupid to be mentioning this stuff on facebooK!

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