Suing the Parent who enforces more child support "money"

Unjustice - posted on 08/12/2013 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Can a Stepmother or Stepfather sue the ex-parent for stressing and putting us in a hardship situation?

-With all this happening, the amount is not enough for them. Just want more and more.

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Ev - posted on 08/16/2013

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That is true too. And also not to put down anyone who has not been a parent before and becomes a step parent first, I think sometimes they have all these expectations that are great ideas or thoughts but are not feasible for the most part. Its like they think that once the wedding is over and they move in and all that things will fall into place and everything is hunky dory when in fact it takes time to do things and get everyone on the same pages and understanding each other in a blended family setting. Some think they have an instant family ready to go and that just is not so. They sometimes forget the other parent who is the ex is still going to be in the picture for the long run and will have to at some point and time deal with that too. The kids involved are also going to test them and try them to see what they can get away with; a lot of kids are not going to fall in love with the step parent overnight....sometimes it happens....but in reality its not going to happen that fast. They also have to understand where certain priorities lie as well. It takes a lot to have a blended family and I have never had one; I see it through my kids' eyes.

Kristi - posted on 08/17/2013

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I'm going to have to look for these other threads...this OP question is absurd, laughable almost.

"ex-parent"--how did you manage that one? I tried to get my daughter's father's rights revoked, HE tried to give up his rights---we didn't get any "ex-parent" out of it.

I am and have been on both sides. My son lives with his father and step-mother. His dad has had full physical custody of him since he was 4. His dad makes over 6 figures a year. When I divorced my daughter's father (trampy, right?), I was basically a single mother, getting no help at all from her father and I worked 3 jobs to provide for us, including everything my son needed as if he lived there and my $250/mo in support. I know it doesn't sound like much but it's a lot to someone who makes $20,000/yr. Then, when I couldn't work anymore and went on disability, each child started receiving $255/mo. I receive $1,047. I still pay $250/mo in child support. My daughter's father makes $16/hr and pays $11/wk. in support. My son's father is still sittin pretty in the 6 figures.

I don't begrudge my son anything. I would have sold my whopping 25" TV (my only "worthy" possession for a long time) for whatever I could, if my son or daughter NEEDED anything. Of course, I'm biased, but those numbers seem a little back asswards to me. That's just a little bit about the "hardship," sweetie...don't get me started on the stressing.

I could tell you a few things about being a stepmother, too. I think I'll reserve those comments until they are more relevant.

Ev - posted on 08/16/2013

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Just a note for all of you on something. Latest info from the FED Gov said that it will cost well over $200,ooo to raise a child from birth to 18 who was born last year. This cost does not include any college education and expenses.

Kathryn - posted on 08/15/2013

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I'll have to read her other posts. Didn't know there were any. Still, regardless of what her situation is, there are circumstances in which the child support demands are way out of line.
I've seen a lot of unfairness in family court. Just like to understand all sides.

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No. But the person not receiving court ordered support CAN sue you for default. If you are not paying or are paying in a "slow fashion" then you and your spouse would then be considered the ones putting a hardship on the other household. I do not know your exact circumstances with the little that you wrote in OP...but:
You might also want to consider what may be going on in the Childs life right now that merits additional money to cover expenses?
For example: My Daughter is a Senior in HS. This will be an expensive year with Senior Photos/Yearbook/Prom/Graduation/SAT fees/College Application fees, etc...

I have been on both sides. On the paying side and receiving. When paying...I never complained. Why should I? Everything was for the kids. Now, on the receiving side...I pay everything upfront/hold receipts/turn in to my Ex and am lucky if reimbursed in 2 months.
Anyway, I do not mean to sound rude or harsh. As a step-parent you knew coming in to your marriage there were Children involved and those children must come first. I realize that is probably not what you want to hear...but it is reality. Best of luck to you though!

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Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

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I question that the OP is actually a parent themselves. Not that I'm downgrading the role as step-parent, but I don't think, unless you have FULL responsibility of a child and the costs involved, that you can understand how very expensive it is to raise a child.

Ev - posted on 08/16/2013

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Its not unreasonable. I am about to do junior and senior year of high school. I am also going to school too and its not cheap. I had to buy a new graphing calculator for me so my son could have the other one for his geometry class. I have had some donate paper, pencils, pens and other things for him to have until he gets a real list from all his teachers this year. And that is going to cost too.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/16/2013

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Not unreasonable at all, when you consider average costs of raising a kid these days...

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

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That sounds about right. So that is around $925 a month. I can see where the $30 a month my ex has to pay fits into that equation.......

However, I don't see that the $160 a week that the OP's husband pays is particularly unreasonable.

Jodi - posted on 08/15/2013

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LOL, my panties weren't in a bunch. Not sure where you got that idea. I was just pointing out that you were perhaps going a little off topic. But knock yourself out.......

Dove - posted on 08/15/2013

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There is no ex-parent. An ex-spouse? Yes, but they are ALWAYS the parent....

The court orders the child support, so if you don't like it... try suing the court. lol

Kathryn - posted on 08/15/2013

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I understand that, thank you. I was just mentioning that there are people that will take advantage of child support, that's all. And yes, I know that she cannot sue.
No need to get your panties in a bunch about it.

Jodi - posted on 08/15/2013

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Regardless of that, Kathryn, her questions was whether she could sue the ex parent for the stress and putting her through hardship, and the answer is no. No judgement. When you marry someone with kids, you need to go into it with open eyes. You can't marry them, and then sue the ex for the stress she creates. If you could, the courts would be clogged with cases.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/15/2013

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Kathryn, read her other post. She explains more there.

Bottom line is support obligations for your children must be met. As the children get older, support obligations may increase due to increased cost for "maintenance" for the child.

And, a woman marrying a man with children from a past relationship must understand that those obligations must be met before you can get what you want.

Lived with it for 13 years.

Kathryn - posted on 08/15/2013

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Wow people. You don't know what his/her position is and what exactly is happening. I thought this was a site for discussion, not judgment.

This said, you wrote that this is a "hardship" for your family. I'm assuming that it's a financial hardship. If the ex's demands are over-the-top then this needs to be documented. Make sure you get receipts for purchases made for the child(ren), aside from the basics, such as food. And document all of the demands. I have been through the ringer in family court and I have to say, criminals are often treated better...they even get free lawyers! If you haven't done mediation, give it a try. Be prepared that the ex may be on the up and up and seriously needs these funds. Raising kids is EXPENSIVE! Speaking of which, do you and your husband have children as well? If so, that certainly should be taken into consideration.

There are parents out there that will milk what they can get simply out of greed or anger toward their ex, people.

And no, this has not happened to me so I have no hidden agenda. I have my kids 100% of the time and only started receiving support when my ex became disabled and his SSDI could be attached so I have been only been at the other side of the spectrum.

Ev - posted on 08/13/2013

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I would think not if I read this right. The step parent has no right to sue for anything where the kids support is concerned. IF the non-custodial parent makes more money then the support increases but they have to go to court to get that changed. And if you marry the non-custodial parent you have to take the whole package in knowing that your spouse has children and has that obligation. If you do not like it you should not have married them.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/12/2013

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No, you certainly cannot.

YOu knew there were obligations. You have to live with them..I did, and we came out just fine.

Jodi - posted on 08/12/2013

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No. You knew your partner had a child/child support commitment when you married. You have no right to now complain over it.

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