Suing the Parent who enforces more child support "money"

Unjustice - posted on 08/12/2013 ( 19 moms have responded )

4

0

0

Can a Stepmother or Stepfather sue the ex-parent for stressing and putting us in a hardship situation?

-With all this happening, the amount is not enough for them. Just want more and more.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kristi - posted on 08/17/2013

1,355

3

78

I'm going to have to look for these other threads...this OP question is absurd, laughable almost.

"ex-parent"--how did you manage that one? I tried to get my daughter's father's rights revoked, HE tried to give up his rights---we didn't get any "ex-parent" out of it.

I am and have been on both sides. My son lives with his father and step-mother. His dad has had full physical custody of him since he was 4. His dad makes over 6 figures a year. When I divorced my daughter's father (trampy, right?), I was basically a single mother, getting no help at all from her father and I worked 3 jobs to provide for us, including everything my son needed as if he lived there and my $250/mo in support. I know it doesn't sound like much but it's a lot to someone who makes $20,000/yr. Then, when I couldn't work anymore and went on disability, each child started receiving $255/mo. I receive $1,047. I still pay $250/mo in child support. My daughter's father makes $16/hr and pays $11/wk. in support. My son's father is still sittin pretty in the 6 figures.

I don't begrudge my son anything. I would have sold my whopping 25" TV (my only "worthy" possession for a long time) for whatever I could, if my son or daughter NEEDED anything. Of course, I'm biased, but those numbers seem a little back asswards to me. That's just a little bit about the "hardship," sweetie...don't get me started on the stressing.

I could tell you a few things about being a stepmother, too. I think I'll reserve those comments until they are more relevant.

Kathryn - posted on 08/15/2013

11

0

0

I'll have to read her other posts. Didn't know there were any. Still, regardless of what her situation is, there are circumstances in which the child support demands are way out of line.
I've seen a lot of unfairness in family court. Just like to understand all sides.

[deleted account]

No. But the person not receiving court ordered support CAN sue you for default. If you are not paying or are paying in a "slow fashion" then you and your spouse would then be considered the ones putting a hardship on the other household. I do not know your exact circumstances with the little that you wrote in OP...but:
You might also want to consider what may be going on in the Childs life right now that merits additional money to cover expenses?
For example: My Daughter is a Senior in HS. This will be an expensive year with Senior Photos/Yearbook/Prom/Graduation/SAT fees/College Application fees, etc...

I have been on both sides. On the paying side and receiving. When paying...I never complained. Why should I? Everything was for the kids. Now, on the receiving side...I pay everything upfront/hold receipts/turn in to my Ex and am lucky if reimbursed in 2 months.
Anyway, I do not mean to sound rude or harsh. As a step-parent you knew coming in to your marriage there were Children involved and those children must come first. I realize that is probably not what you want to hear...but it is reality. Best of luck to you though!

19 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

3,562

36

3907

I question that the OP is actually a parent themselves. Not that I'm downgrading the role as step-parent, but I don't think, unless you have FULL responsibility of a child and the costs involved, that you can understand how very expensive it is to raise a child.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/16/2013

13,264

21

2015

Not unreasonable at all, when you consider average costs of raising a kid these days...

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

3,562

36

3907

That sounds about right. So that is around $925 a month. I can see where the $30 a month my ex has to pay fits into that equation.......

However, I don't see that the $160 a week that the OP's husband pays is particularly unreasonable.

Jodi - posted on 08/15/2013

3,562

36

3907

LOL, my panties weren't in a bunch. Not sure where you got that idea. I was just pointing out that you were perhaps going a little off topic. But knock yourself out.......

Kathryn - posted on 08/15/2013

11

0

0

I understand that, thank you. I was just mentioning that there are people that will take advantage of child support, that's all. And yes, I know that she cannot sue.
No need to get your panties in a bunch about it.

Jodi - posted on 08/15/2013

3,562

36

3907

Regardless of that, Kathryn, her questions was whether she could sue the ex parent for the stress and putting her through hardship, and the answer is no. No judgement. When you marry someone with kids, you need to go into it with open eyes. You can't marry them, and then sue the ex for the stress she creates. If you could, the courts would be clogged with cases.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/15/2013

13,264

21

2015

Kathryn, read her other post. She explains more there.

Bottom line is support obligations for your children must be met. As the children get older, support obligations may increase due to increased cost for "maintenance" for the child.

And, a woman marrying a man with children from a past relationship must understand that those obligations must be met before you can get what you want.

Lived with it for 13 years.

Kathryn - posted on 08/15/2013

11

0

0

Wow people. You don't know what his/her position is and what exactly is happening. I thought this was a site for discussion, not judgment.

This said, you wrote that this is a "hardship" for your family. I'm assuming that it's a financial hardship. If the ex's demands are over-the-top then this needs to be documented. Make sure you get receipts for purchases made for the child(ren), aside from the basics, such as food. And document all of the demands. I have been through the ringer in family court and I have to say, criminals are often treated better...they even get free lawyers! If you haven't done mediation, give it a try. Be prepared that the ex may be on the up and up and seriously needs these funds. Raising kids is EXPENSIVE! Speaking of which, do you and your husband have children as well? If so, that certainly should be taken into consideration.

There are parents out there that will milk what they can get simply out of greed or anger toward their ex, people.

And no, this has not happened to me so I have no hidden agenda. I have my kids 100% of the time and only started receiving support when my ex became disabled and his SSDI could be attached so I have been only been at the other side of the spectrum.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/12/2013

13,264

21

2015

No, you certainly cannot.

YOu knew there were obligations. You have to live with them..I did, and we came out just fine.

Jodi - posted on 08/12/2013

3,562

36

3907

No. You knew your partner had a child/child support commitment when you married. You have no right to now complain over it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms