Taking public transportation.

Amanda - posted on 09/16/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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When I was pregnant, I lived in Chicago and took the bus to and from work. I can not tell you how many times I had to stand the entire way ( a 40 minute ride)....when there were either men or women my age (and not 9 months pregnant!) sitting right by me...my big belly right in their face, and they wouldn't offer their seat.

I only had one instance where the bus driver pulled over and refused to move the bus until I was given a seat.

Also, after having my daughter and taking the bus, people give you the dirtiest looks for having your stoller on board - even if it's folded and out of the way.

I just wondered, if you were ever in this situation- would give them a piece of your mind? Were you ever in this position and if so what did you do?

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Tracey - posted on 09/17/2010

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I have noticed that no-one gives up a seat for pregnant women, I always do, usually with a comment bemoaning the lack of gentlemen. I still get dirty looks if i take my son out in his wheelchair, and if I park in disabled parking spots because he "doesn't look disabled" I carry his doctors report with me in my purse and wave it in peoples faces telling them at least his disability isn't as bad as theirs, then when they ask what I am talking about I say " your ignorance and intolerance"

Jennifer - posted on 09/16/2010

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when i was about 8 months pregnant, i was taking the bus home from work. all the seats were full and no one offered me a seat, as usual. i had to stand next to this middle-aged man who was seated. he looked up and me, scoffed, and very rudely said "do you have to stand right there?"

i was a bit taken a back, honestly but i said "actually, yes i do. i'm 8 months pregnant, and exhausted and apparently no one is kind enough to let me sit"



he kind of scoffed again, and that was that.



...and even after that, still no one offered me a seat.



*edited to add...i haven't really had to deal with the stroller, yet. i wear my 10 month old son pretty much constantly on my hip in the moby wrap when we are out and about.

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Amanda - posted on 09/17/2010

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Tah - I lived in Philly for almost 4 years....loved it there! I was an R5 rider daily! I miss taking the train actually!!

I'm lucky that we aren't in a big city any longer, and we actually have cars (Yea!!!) to drive now. When we lived in Philly and Chi, we didn't have cars!

Go Phillies!

Tah - posted on 09/17/2010

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i am from philly and even those with cars take transportation because of parking in the city and i have said something to people on many occassions for not offereing their seats to pregnant, those with babies and the elderly. I have even mad my son and nephews when with me, offer their seats to those persons. I know it has paid off since when in a busy and crowded waiting room my 13 year old offered his seat to a lady with children before i even noticed her since i was doing paperwork...i think that it is common courtesy that people do these things and next time they look at you simply say "i'm sorry, is there a problem chief"..okay, i was just checking....good for your bus driver..

Caitlin - posted on 09/16/2010

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Wow.. I used to take public transit a ton because I lived in town, and I always gave up my seat for pregnant women, women with young children or older people who look very unsteady, but i've had my fair share of experiences where someone was really rude when I didn't give up my seat.

I was on the bus heading to a physio appointment with a torn ACL, I was just off crutches, but still had that huge brace that keep most of the weight off your leg on and I was sitting (because standing was still excruciating - my knee was huge) and I was sitting in the spot designated to "reduced mobility" because ti had more leg room, allowing for my leg to stay a bit unbent, because 90 degree bends were still not happening and I had an old lady come up to me nimble as anything and litterally poke me and say "I want to sit" and I looked at my leg, pointed at it and said "great, there are spots in the back, because i'm already here and I don't like people sitting on my lap". It shut her up really fast. It's not like she didn't see it, it wasn't the most discreet thing in the world.

That aside, I always give up my seat if I can, and the few times I took public transit while pregnant, there was only once I stayed standing the whole time, and that was most likely because nobody that was sitting could tell I was pregnant, the car was so packed had I passed out I wouldn't even have fallen we were in there like sardines.

Amanda - posted on 09/16/2010

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It's totally common in a big city for lots and lots of people to use public transit.

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If I ever find out that one of our boys (when they are old enough to drive) parked in a expecting mother parking spot, he will get a piece of my mind and will lose his car until he smartens up and I will gladly buy one of those pregnancy vests so that he can wear it around for 24 hours. That way, he will learn WHY pregnant women need the seats. I'll make sure he thinks about it again before he acts like a rude asshole.

Amanda - posted on 09/16/2010

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@ Jennifer Laur - My jaw is literally on the floor. I can not believe that!!! Unreal and, really what an ass.

I also fell off the bus when about 8 months pregnant. I thought that the driver had kneeled the bus (because I had asked him to), and well obviously when I went to exit the ground was A LOT further down then I had thought and I went crashing. Luckily I protected my stomach and baby, but lost a toe nail, severely cut my dominant hand and was bleeding all over the place. Not to mention all the preggo hormone going on, so I was literally a hot mess. Oh and it was also 90+ degrees. Luckily, a guy my age, and his girlfriend help me back on my swollen shrek feet and walked me to my apartment door. I was so pissed though, because to add insult to injury - literally - the driver drove off. Crappy. At any rate, I'm not very graceful even when I'm not preggo!

If I have sons (currently have one daughter) he's going to be as generous as my hubby is. He will open doors, give his seat up for someone who needs it & won't park in the expectant mom parking spot!!!!!! :)

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It's not common for a lot of people to use public transportation. But I always had someone give up a seat or offer me a seat wherever it was that I was at when I was visibly pregnant. I've done the same for other pregnant women. It's the decent thing to do.

Isobel - posted on 09/16/2010

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wow...I was almost always offered a seat, and I always offer mine...and now I'm teaching my kids to do the same

Sara - posted on 09/16/2010

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I never took public transportation when pregnant, but I did notice when pregnant just how rude people are in public. Walking right in front of you, cutting you off ...like you're nimble at 9 months pregnant. People don't hold doors open, even when you're right behind them. My sister once had a guy take a parking spot for pregnant women from her at the grocery store. She was about 8 months pregnant and had a two year old in tow. She found him in the store and said "My children really appreciate you taking that spot: (it was raining outside) and he looked at her and said "Not my problem". Ridiculous!

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@Charlene, I am in Calgary as well and I've had to stand on several occasions. i give my seat up all the time and see that most people just pretend not to see a lot of times. once, I got up and offered my seat to a pregnant lady... a dumbass took my seat before the lady could sit!

I am not going to confront people and I didn't want to cause a scene and embarrass the lady either. I have seen most of the people who give up their seats are women in their late 20s and male teenagers. Seriously, I got on the bus once and a teenager behind me helped me bring up the stroller, lifted up the seat for me to park it and helped me out as well. I was pleasantly surprised and I will raise my boys to do the same. This guy was so polite and played with my son the whole trip (40 Minutes)

Jenni - posted on 09/16/2010

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I posted a thread similar to this and this is what happened to me... not a big deal but i did find it a bit ridiculous....
I went to the grocery store when I was 9 months pregnant... I had my 2 1/2 year old SD with me and 1 1/2 year old son. Of course the one time I really needed one of those Pregnant Moms spots in the parking lot they were all taken. As i'm walking clear across the parking lot while 9 months pregnant with a 32 lbs toddler on one hip and holding another toddler's hand I pass the Pregnant Woman's spot....
Just as a woman who is clearly not pregnant, in good shape is getting out of the car. I expect to see her pull some youngins out but instead a 6 year old and a 9 year old boy hop out of the car.
I am littlerly struggling to hold my 1 1/2 year old up (I'm only 5"2 so it's quite the effort even when i'm not pregnant). So I just said, sweetly as I passed her "What a beautiful day for a walk, dont you think?"

Amanda - posted on 09/16/2010

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I never spoke up either, but would usually wave if someone was just staring at me :)

I did have a few instances where my husband was with me, and he would usually ask someone if I could have their seat. A couple of times, they refused, but usually did let me sit.

Sharon - posted on 09/16/2010

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I would and have given up my seat. I would not speak up and confront the other passengers. I would maybe break out my cellphone and tell my bestfriend about how I did good but these other assholes around me made some poor handicapped person stand up, loudly.

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I take public transit all the time. I always give my seat to seniors and pregnant woman. On my way home last night a girl got on the bus with a stroller, I moved to another seat so that she could have mine (the seat in front of me was where the handicapped can park their wheelchairs/scooters, so it could fold up, giving her room for the stroller). I have been in that situation and, no, I've never given anyone a piece of my mind but I have ran over a few toes with the stroller...on purpose.

Charlene - posted on 09/16/2010

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When I was pregnant, I lived in Calgary and used the C-train a LOT and the trips to my doctor took about 45 minutes. I was offered a seat maybe a handful of times. Once was a very elderly gentleman who really needed the seat more than I did, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Another time it was a woman in her mid-late 20's and she was so far away that it would have been more difficult to weave my way through the crowd. The other times were usually teenage boys.

Also, the teenage boys seemed to be the most helpful with the stroller after I had Gracie, so it gave me a little hope for the future. ;)

I never speak up about things like that though, because I am a non-confrontational person.

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