Talk to your kids about gang rape

Sharon - posted on 10/28/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I'm not kidding...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/28/cali...

All those people stood around and did nothing.

I actually know this first hand. I haven't thought to much about it.

You actually have to talk to your kids about speaking up and not hesitating when they see something wrong.

Maybe because of my own experiences I've never been the type to be quiet. When I see something wrong or suspect something might be wrong - I speak up.

And contrary to popular belief I'm usually very nice about it in real life.

So my heading was sort of misleading - really we actually have to talk to our kids about getting involved. Honestly I don't want my son to try and break up something like a gang rape - 15 guys against my one son??? hell no. But calling 911 and getting some other peoples' attention/back up YES.

I have intervened in domestic violence situations - at least twice - once the guy was just beating this woman out side of a 24 hour store. 3 guys were watching, 2 women - the cashier was leaning over the counter and talking on the phone but this woman was just being bounced off the wall by this guy over and over while he called her names and slapped her in the face. My date said to not do anything - cretin - but I got out of the car and was dialing 911 as I walked towards the doors.

As I walked inside I held up my phone and said loudly "I'm calling 911" I was scared to death. The guy started to say something, the girl/woman fell to the ground and I guess me speaking up finally got the customer standing in the door way to remember he had real balls and he got between me and the abuser.

It was a long night. The guy left, the girl stayed, and I left after giving my statement to the police...

now I gotta go whine about loosing my recipe for mexican tortilla soup....

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Sharon - posted on 10/29/2009

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I got one of those examples today from my daughter. She is like the school reporter. I hear who got in trouble and why every day. Who cried, who got hurt, etc.



Apparently yesterday a little girl in her class got a prize and later another little girl "stole it". To me - it just sounds like she grabbed it from the other childs hands and refused to give it back. My daughter says "YOU GIVE THAT BACK! Its not yours, its hers and if you don't give it back, its stealing!" Yes I get these reports said to me with emphasis. And the naughty little girl gave the prize back.



I gotta make a post about these girls.... they drive me nuts.... sorta

JL - posted on 10/29/2009

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Amie.. My daughter is just like your son. We used to live next door to this little girl who is such a bossy,pushy, rude, and mean little thing. I constantly told my daughter not to act like her, to be nice, to let kids choose what they want to do, and to use kind words. My daughter is 6 and this little girl is 10. One day we were outside and she was being her usual pushy self to all the little kids playing and my daughter stopped looked at her and told her..look if you cannot be kind to others then I will not play with you anymore...and you are not my boss my mom is so stop telling me what to do. I about cracked up because my daughter was super serious and that little girl did not even know how to react so she just started acting nicer real quick. I have actually banned my daughter from playing with some kids that are complete bullies who will end up just like all these kids involved in these horrible situations because they have not been taught better. The tell my daughter the one that would really disappoint me would be if she started acting like a bully..that is just one thing I will not stand for in my house.

Amie - posted on 10/29/2009

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This story made me sick, angry and full of hate. I had to turn off the television.

I'm glad my children already know to intervene, in a safe manner.

Take our sons birthday party last month. We went to the Fun Factory (it's like Ruckers but cheaper and better security lol) A older child (9-10ish) came up to them in the ball pit. He grabbed one of the balls out of one of our sons friends hand. He proceeded to walk away with it when our son stood up and yelled hey! LOL! When the other boy turned around our son stated very firmly 'that is not nice, you do not steal like that, give it back'. The boy did, he didn't even hesitate he just looked at our son kind of shocked and handed it back. A boy half his age corrected him on his behavior. Our son then came over to us on the bench we were sitting on and let us know. It was an interesting experience. He still doesn't know we could see the whole thing happening.

I think a lot of that though is not just what we've taught our kids but the anti bullying campaigns that they have been teaching them in school for quite some time now. Not sure when it actually started but our oldest only started school 5 years ago and it was in place then. They teach them to not only not tolerate it but to intervene on others behalf is something is being done. If they are not capable of intervening how to get help. I'm quite happy with it, though I'm quite happy with our school system anyway. It has many great avenues to teach our children to be a better next generation.

Sharon - posted on 10/29/2009

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Man I hear you Joy - I have stayed away from that particular news story because I knew I would get angry about it. But when I read the headline speculating about why crowds don't get involved I felt compelled to read to see if I could understand something.



Now that I'm sucked into it - I'm reading more and more and I'm so disgusted... unbelievable.

Esther - posted on 10/29/2009

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I'm the same way. No way in hell would I just stand by and do nothing. I wouldn't throw myself between a guy with a knife and his potential victim, but I would most certainly pick up the phone, maybe try to make noise to distract the attacker, get more help etc. I remember years ago I was on my way to work (in Holland) and when I got off my train, I noticed a little boy running into a store at full speed, dropping some coins in the process. Then I saw two other boys, maybe 12/13 years old following him and just hanging out by the door of the stoor, clearly waiting for the little boy to come back out. I walked into the store and asked the boy if he was OK and if he was being chased. At first he was too scared to admit it, but then finally he did. I offered to walk him to school. He was very grateful. Clearly I was going to be late for work but who the hell cares. So I walk out the store with this poor kid and the two bullies start yelling obscenities at me, threatening both of us etc. Dozens of adults walked by. This was a train station at rush hour. Grown men. They didn't even look. Nobody stepped in and did anything. And these were just kids. Unarmed. Hardly a real threat to anyone other than the little boy. I walked the boy to school and the bullies followed us the whole way, continuing their threats. I walked him into the school and then went to find the principal. He actually had a wall full of mug shots of 12 year old boys and asked me to pick out the ones that did this, which I did. He said he would address it but that the boy would now probably just get beaten up after school. It was disgusting. I told him that I hoped that someone else, like me, would do what was right and do what was within their power to prevent that from happening. But based on what I saw at the train station, he was probably right and the boy probably did get beat up later.

JL - posted on 10/29/2009

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I read this story on CNN yesterday and it angered me. This case and the case of the boy that was beaten down in Chicago by a mob of people it just pisses me off and it is why I am all for states having duty to aid or good samaritan laws like the one in Massachusetts that states.....

“Whoever knows that another person is a victim of aggravated rape, rape, murder, manslaughter or armed robbery and is at the scene of said crime shall, to the extent that said person can do so without danger or peril to himself or others, report said crime to an appropriate law enforcement official as soon as reasonably practicable.”



I have like you on different occassions gotten involved in situations that too me looked wrong by speaking up and calling authorities. I am teaching my kids to stand up when something bad is happening. My daughter has been told to scream No, run and find an adult, and she has been taught to dial 911. I just cannot stand around and watch people or even animals being violated. Even in a submissive non reactive crowd I have been known to react. I am the one that will step in a bar fight, demand and shame others into stepping in, and call the police on the spot...and I am a petite person.

Sharon - posted on 10/28/2009

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AWWW!!! Thanks September!!



I finally improvised from my memory (not the best)



12 cups of stock

4 cans of diced tomatoes with chilies and seasonings

1lb & a half seasoned cooked chicken (I use boneless thigh meat - cheaper and faster)

1/2 an onion

2 cups of corn

1 can of black beans

cumin, chili powder, cilantro, paprika, basil (because I could), garlic (omg can't forget GARLIC!!!) and I think thats it. I was just digging through my seasoning box and going "OOhhh I can use this!! and This!!" lol

and each bowl got a handfull or two tortilla strips



next time I'll do 18 cups of stock - 2 lbs of chicken 4 cups of corn, 2 cans of black beans (rinsed!!!)



This was awesome!! But we started to run out of actual soup - not sure what you call it when you run out soup but still have STUFF. lol

September - posted on 10/28/2009

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Sharon here you are :)



3 (14 1/2 oz.) cans chicken broth

1 c. chopped cooked chicken

4 c. (4 oz.) chopped green chilies, drained

1 c. chopped onions

1 c. chopped tomatoes

1 tsp. cilantro leaves

1 tsp. chili powder

3/4 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

1/4 tsp. hot pepper sauce

1 pkg. frozen vegetable mix of corn, red peppers and green peppers

1 c. crushed tortilla chips

1 1/2 c. shredded Monterey Jack cheese



In large saucepan, combine chicken broth, chicken, green chilies, onions, tomatoes, cilantro, chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper and hot pepper sauce. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered 10 minutes. Stir in vegetables. Simmer again 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Stir in 1 cup crushed chips and cheese. Heat until cheese melts, stirring frequently. Garnish with additional chips. 6 (1 1/2 cup) servings.

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