Teen Girl Bullied into Plastic Surgery

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Stifler's - posted on 10/16/2011

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i wasn't aware minors were allowed elective surgery like this. what if she gets bullied about being fat in the future... do they pay for lipo? where does it end.

Amie - posted on 10/17/2011

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@Brittany, so instead of addressing the bully and trying to fix their issue it is ok to get the victim to change? Really? That is all I see.


And again to everyone, she was not deformed. She had a slightly larger nose, that is not deformed. To even suggest so is (most likely) insulting to those that were born with slightly larger noses.

Amie - posted on 10/15/2011

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Uh, no. My child will not get plastic surgery, especially for cosmetic reasons. When they turn 18 - more power to them, they can foot the bill.

It is cosmetic because if she was left horribly disfigured (which she wasn't!) or with breathing problems - it would have been offered when she was done healing.

Her nose is - sorry - WAS no different than my sister's (who has broken her own nose twice) and a few other girls who I went to school with (who did not break their noses). They are all perfectly fine and secure with themselves in their own bodies.

We need to be careful what we teach our children, especially our girls. I agree with Tabitha's post - whether it's meant to or not we can inadvertently teach our children that the outside matters so much that surgery is the only way to feel good about ourselves.

Children lash out for a variety of reasons and their own self doubts are one of them. To put others down is a way to make them feel better about themselves.

Tina - posted on 10/17/2011

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I think although there are stereotypes that think looks are everything I think we have to learn to be happy in our own skin. Before I had my daughter I never felt good enough and thought about a breast lift if I could afford it but now I wouldn't do it. I want to set an example you don't have to be like everyone else in order to be happy everyone is different and has different shapes. Just because a select few don't like it doesn't mean you should change it. She's not the first person to have a broken nose. If people don't like you because you're not perfect that's their problem and generally they're not happy with themselves that's why they bully others to make themselves feel better. There is always going to be something you're self concious about. You can fix one thing and there will something else you don't like about yourself. People just have to learn to love themselves the way they are.

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April - posted on 10/16/2011

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I think Emma was onto something with her comment about where it ends. I think the surgery is fine. She had a deformity, now it's fixed. If this is a continuous thing, as in, she is wanting to fix this and that...then we can worry or place blame on her parents.

Brittany - posted on 10/16/2011

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@ Amie,

I am glad that your parents raised you right. But, do you know many parents bully their own kids? Making them purge, scrubbing their faces with brillo pads, saying nasty things to them when they eat, making them tan ect ect ect.

Many Mothers want to live through their daughters. I love my daughter very much but, I want her to have her own life and do the things she wants to do. I would be upset with myself if I found out Caoilainn was doing something just because, I showed interest in it.

Not all parents see it this way.

Once that bone healed, you are correct, it does leave a bump. I am also thinking we are not getting the full story here. Perhaps the child wanted to ask her mom if she could have it fixed but, was too scared. She was being bullied at school and used that as a way to ask her mom. I would like to think the girl did it for herself and used the bullying as an excuse.

Amie - posted on 10/15/2011

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Her nose was no longer broken. It was healed. People need to maintain some perspective.

Also, when a bone heals - it has a bump form around where the fracture was (a fracture callus). This is why her nose had the bump and appeared "big" - it's also why my sister's is like that and why my sister's collarbone has the same bump. Sometimes it goes away with time but not always.

Her body was no longer damaged. She was fine! Other than people harassing her for some perceived undesirable body part. That is THEIR issue not the girls.

I have witnessed bullying, I have been affected by bullying (to the point where I switched schools) - my parents never once offered up cosmetic surgery as a way to help. It wouldn't be helping me - it would be letting the bullies win and showing them that their opinion matters that much I changed myself to please them.

I was also never taught to conform because of others though. I am me and I am proud of it. That is the message I want my daughters to hear. One of them has already been affected by bullying - however hers is not a physical trait we can change. She's just an outspoken girl, very sure of herself and it puts off others. Especially other girls who are floundering and do not have their own strong role models to follow. So instead of being their own person, they try to break others down.

I will not let others break down my daughters. I didn't let them do it to me.

Brittany - posted on 10/15/2011

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This is what I will say about this situation,

If my daughter came home and was horrified to go to school, cried begging me pleading with me not to go to school or skipping school I would get down to it as to why. If it was because, she had broken her nose and was being made fun of then yes, I would allow her to have the surgery, TO CORRECT THE BROKEN BONE.

Now, I am a child abuse advocate. I work with two non-profit agencies and will soon be teaching an Anti-Bullying class to schools. I have instilled in my son, who is 6, that bullying is unacceptable. If he sees someone being bullied he should tell, NO MATTER WHAT! He knows that if I were to catch him bullying he would be in so much trouble I do not even know what I would do yet. I have explained to him that when a child is being bullied they are being told they are not good enough. I asked him if he knows anyone who is not good enough and he said no. He has promised me he will never bully anyone and if he sees someone bullying he will tell. He has a small group of friends at school and I was surprised the other night at a school function. He was talking to his friends and he said:

"Remember when I told you all that bullying was not cool?"

They all responded yes.

He said "That is because, my Mama said it is not cool and my Mama is AWESOME."

There was not one child he did not talk to or introduce me to. He said all of them were his friends. Do I expect him to stay friends with every single one of them? No but, I expect him to respect the person.

I would like to hope that my children will not be directly affected by bullying and should they be, they will handle it in a correct manner.

[deleted account]

Under normal circumstances, if she had never broke her nose and that was her natural nose, i would say no. However, since it was broke before and its been years since it happened, I would approve the surgery. She fixed a damaged part of her body. Normally I am against plastic surgery, but this is different.

Lady Heather - posted on 10/15/2011

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If my kid broke their nose and that left it buggered up, I'd definitely let them get surgery to fix it. Same goes for if they broke anything else and it got buggered up.I might have waited longer because she's still growing at this point.

Carolee - posted on 10/15/2011

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It wasn't a severe deformity, though. It was slight at most. Unless it impared her breathing, I still don't agree with it.

April - posted on 10/15/2011

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"Nicolette, who was just a few weeks out of 7th grade at the time of her surgery, was so moved by her new nose that she cried upon seeing it." This most likely is a girl who probably would have felt insecure about her nose regardless of what other people said. It IS possible for a teen girl to have an insecurity that wasn't influenced by the outside world. This also isn't the case of a superficial teen begging her parents to have plastic surgery just for the sake of it. I think THAT would have been wrong for the parents to allow. She's the exception to the rule because she did have a deformity. However..I would have waited a few more years`. She may have not been done growing and risks the chance of her nose changing due to that fact. I personally would have waited until she was 16 years old.

[deleted account]

That was a stupid decision on the parents part. They should have been telling her, she is beautiful regardless of what others say. "You can have a nose job" is not what she needed to hear. They might as well have told her flat out they agree with the kids teasing her. My nose is HUGE... its big, I was rarely teased because of it though, actually it was always ME telling myself and others how much I hated it. But my parents were always there to say otherwise.



If she had severe dis figuration from it having been broken twice then I could understand the need or want for reconstructive surgery... her nose was not even that bad.

Carolee - posted on 10/15/2011

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There is NO way that I would allow my kids to get nose jobs (or any other un-needed plastic surgery) until they are 18. I've been bullied for my nose. It made me cry, and, yes, I dreamed of having plastic surgery. I never got it, though. I learned to accept myself for who and what I am, including what I look like.

I say un-needed plastic surgery because I know there ae times that it is needed, IE - after a trauma or burn. Not just because you're bullied.

[deleted account]

I'm not sure. In general, I'm against plastic surgery, but I read one of the comments after the article that hit me. They weren't changing the nose she was born w/.... they were fixing what happened to it from being broken twice. I think that's the difference for me, but I'm still undecided.

If insurance didn't cover it 100%... I couldn't have it done to my kids cuz I couldn't afford it, but I'm not able to say I think it's wrong in THIS particular case.

Tabitha - posted on 10/15/2011

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Let me just say that plastic surgery is addictive! Teaching our children that they are not beautiful by allowing plastic surgery is only going to damage them in the future. They will look for things that aren't "perfect" simply because it was justified by a parent who let them think they were less than. Children can be cruel and often lash out because they are insecure about themselves, i think that should be the discussion with the child. And i think every child needs to be prepared for possible bullying way before their school years. Rash decisions are not neccesary if the problem is approached in the correct manner.

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