Teenagers/young adults living at home

Nikki - posted on 12/11/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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When your children grow up and get their first jobs will you charge them for board? If so what percentage of their wage would you charge? How have you or how do you plan to teach your child to be responsible with money?

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Jodi - posted on 12/11/2010

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Absolutely I'll charge board :) Once they have finished school and in the workforce, I will be charging whatever the going rate is for board (including food, etc), and they will be required to pay their own bills.



I have already started teaching my kids. My son just started working on the payroll in our business this week (he is 13) on a casual basis. If he wants things over and above the necessities, or over and above Christmas and birthday, he has to earn the money to pay for it. He also does chores around the house now, and he does get a small amount of pocket money to cover that. He has to manage his money.



There is no free ride in our house. Even my 5 year old does chores, and has done since she was capable of helping. She also receives a small allowance for extra chores, but she has also learned that if she wants something, she needs to save her very small allowance to buy it, and she does!!!

Denikka - posted on 08/22/2011

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I agree with A Bazor, that school is a childs *job*.

But, many people have 2 jobs. So if my child chooses to work, then they are choosing to contribute to their lifestyle. That includes food and rent.

My kids will be contributing either way. If they work, it will be a financial contribution. If they don't, then it will be through chores and household maintenance.

I will definitely be encouraging my kids to work while they're young. I did not really have a job while I was young. I babysat for my mom for about 3 months (gov't subsidized, so taxable) did a few freelance jobs, and worked for 2 weeks just before I found out I was pregnant. Since then, my only real job has been as a stay at home mom.

As such, I feel ill prepared to be in a real workplace environment. I don't want my kids to have the same disadvantage.

It's important for me to encourage their independence in this area. And to teach them the real value of money.

Before they are at the age where they can work, they will get an allowance based on chores and school effort (NOT grades, effort). Once they are of age to go out to the work force, they will have the option of taking on more household responsibility in exchange for a small allowance and no household charges, or they can get a *real* job and contribute to the bills.

Same rules apply as long as they are in school. After leaving school, they will be welcome to stay for as long as they like, but they WILL be contributing a full fair share to the house (rent/mortgage+food+utilities dividing by the number of people in the household) or they will be leaving the house. Once you are out of school and working, if you are still living at home, you are no longer a child that I need to take care of. You are now a roommate and finances AND household chores will be dealt with accordingly.

Just my opinion. We'll see how things actually work out :P my kidlets are still only 2.5 and 7 months :P LOOOONG way to go yet :P



ETA:

I DO like the idea of putting the kids *rent* into savings to help them out when they do decide to move out. I think I would like to do that (finances allowing) with any money given while they are in school. I can save it until they move out, whenever that may be. But money given after they finish school and before they move out would be mine to put towards the bills.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2011

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My 16 yo has just started her first job. She plans to work part-time when school begins. I believe that she likes having money. Personally, I believe that a parent's responsibility is to support their children for the entire time they remain in school. My 26 yo and 24 yo are both in post secondary school. Both have a child. I have supported them both this past year with things like their text books, money to see them through change of semesters. Not lots, but enough to help and provide necessary things. My expectation is that my children become independent at an ongoing rate. This means that they manage their finances, pay their bills, obtain that which is needed and generally behave in a responsible manner like all persons of adult age.

Becky - posted on 12/11/2010

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Once they are no longer in school, (which includes post secondary education) yes, we will charge room and board. I imagine we'll just get them to pay our entire mortgage and grocery bill for us. Haha, no, I'm kidding! I have no idea how much we'll charge. We'll base it on their salary and the cost of living at that time. And on how much food they eat and how much extra work they create for me! lol Seriously though, if they expect me to do their laundry and pick up after them, I probably would be inclined to raise the room and board a bit to cover maid services!

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Rachel - posted on 10/10/2014

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Hello everyone, ty for letting me join in on the conversations here. Looks like it will be interesting.

I have five kids. Most of them grown already, the youngest is 10. My oldest son moved out due to my apparent (constant nagging lol), my daughter is still here due to the fact that she got pregnant when she was 15. She is now 21 and still here with the baby. She pays me 250 and then buys any extras etc...herself. My 19 year old son moved out about a year ago and just recently moved back in with his girlfriend and then shortly announced that they are having a baby. So back in the same boat again but he is way more responsible and I don't think he will be here long. My 17 year old girl is in school and cannot do work and school or she will fail. Can't do two things at once I suppose lol. So I just have the two kids paying and they do other things around here. My 17 year old helps out with everything and is a joy to have around most of the time. Then of course my 10 year old girl and my 5 year old granddaughter.

In my opinion it is fine to ask for rent from your kids. I don't think 250 is outrageous to ask for considering how many people we still have in the house as well as a 400 dollar electric bill during the summer (Arizona heat lol)

[deleted account]

when i was done school and was working, my mom made me pay a bill, which was about $200 and i had to buy my own clothes and pay for my own transportation. i intend to do the same thing.

[deleted account]

If they were continuing on with their education (i.e university or a trades school) I wouldn't charge them anything but if their done with highschool and how no plans for the future I would charge them what it would cost to keep them. Groceries, electricity etc etc.

A - posted on 08/17/2011

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I wanted to add.... eventually our family is looking to move to Canada (where my husband is from). If that happens, we will more than likely be housesharing with my mother in law for a short time. Our plan is to pay her mortgage for her each month as our "rent" payment, and then of course our own food, etc, possibly a bit extra to help with utilities. Every other dime will go to the kitty fund for getting our own house. While my husband is not very thrifty... he did luck out by marrying a penny pincher, with every intention and strategy for making this work!

A - posted on 08/17/2011

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It all depends on our financial state at that point in time (I still have 10 and 13 years minimum to go) If, say, my marriage was to end, I might need them to help out. BUT that is only last resort.

I've BEEN a teen in that position. So from past experiences, observations, and decisions I have made or had made for me: I won't require this of my teenager. School, I believe, IS a full time job (especially high school anymore!) As long as they are helping to contribute at home in some way, any money they get from a job (that I will not require they have until after graduation) is theirs to keep, or hopefully learn from mom and save.

College I believe is the same thing - full time job. If my kids are living at home and going to college, it will be the same rules as high school, as long as they're keeping up on their schooling. I've worked multiple jobs, I've worked and gone to college at the same time, I know how tricky that can be. If I can avoid it with my kids, I definitely will. But if they put off going to school and want to be at home after high school, yes I will ask them to help out at home with finances, like any other responsible adult. I don't have any desire to have my children grow up like many of my fellow classmates unfortunately have --- thinking the world owes everything to them on a silver platter.

[deleted account]

Yes. I did when I was employed and lived with my parents. I gave them 10% of my net income. My son will do the same. He knows that he will have to as part of being an adult. I don't know if he will be any better with money than I am but it may help.

[deleted account]

I have never wanted to charge my children bills, however I think like Laura ? talked about, charge them and save it, would be the way to go! So maybe figure out what 1/3 their wage it (as that should be your housing) and then 1/3 the bills and put it in an acct for them...if I was not sitting pretty maybe take the part for bills and keep the housing in savings? I think I would want to implement this with their 2nd paycheck...as I think they should be able to take their 1st check and blow it ;) so if they start working @ 14 like I did...then start then?

My parents had us buying our clothes/car/insurance/gas w/our $$$ and that was all fine and good, but I don't think I left w/a good idea of how to save/spend $ so if I make it more "real life" then I think that maybe it would help sink in for my boys? *2nd thought* I probably wouldn't seriously charge 1/3 the bills...maybe figure out the percentage on my wage and make a similar percentage for theirs... and also make them save a certain % for their own personal savings!!! Get them started their real early!!! I WISH I had done that!!! Now I have no savings worked in and have no $$$ to implement it :( Dang insurmountable debt!!! I would like them to avoid THAT lesson!!!!

C. - posted on 12/12/2010

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Well.. When we started working, we helped out my mom by paying a little bit of rent. What we payed depended on our paycheck. But we were in a somewhat not normal situation.

As for the other questions.. I guess we'll figure that out as a couple when our son (or kids, if we are blessed with anymore) is at that age.

Meghan - posted on 12/11/2010

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My mom's rule has ALWAYS been we either work or go to school-as long as we are doing something and motivated, she wont charge us. I appreciate it but I think my younger sister takes advantage of it. I have always been independent and moved out when I was 16. So I realize how much it costs to raise a family, have a mortgage and all the other bs.
We have a had a few fights over the past year and a bit over her refusing money from me. I don't have a lot of it but I give her as much as I can monthly (as well as buy the groceries for the house).I don't think it is so much of a budgeting issue as it is a respect/life skill. If it wasn't for my mom I would be on the streets with a toddler or still in an abusive unhappy marriage. We all want to help our kids but sometimes helping our kids is making them grow up and accept responsibility.

Shauna - posted on 12/11/2010

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No i would never charge my child board, my home will always be open. However they will always pay own bills other than having a place to live.

Stifler's - posted on 12/11/2010

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I don't know. If they're in high school no, but they'll be saving half their pay in a sub account or I'll be taking it and saving it for them and the other half can buy themselves a phone or clothes or whatever coz I ain't. If they're finished high school and have a real job I'll be charging unless they're studying, or they'll be moving out. I had to pay my parents board while I was studying full time and it was shit.

Jenn - posted on 12/11/2010

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If you are in school - no rent If you are out in the workforce and no school - pay rent. If you are not working or in school - get out!

[deleted account]

Since I was 16 I have paid my personal bills - phone ($10 per month b/c I was on their plan), car registration (they paid my insurance and I ran errands for them when I had time), gas for my car, clothes I wanted, etc. Later on I also paid for college fees not covered by my scholarship, all my college costs (supplies), and my small credit card payment.

That way, I had financial responsibilites, but I was also able to save up a bit since I didn't have to pay any rent.

[deleted account]

My parents' rule was that as long as I was in school they wouldn't charge me room or board for living at home. I lived with my gradma when I went to a larger college and that was her rule as well (and that I bought the majority of my own groceries - pretty much anything extra that she didn't usually buy for herself).

This way, I was able to work and save up some money for when I went out on my own and I was SOOO glad to have that savings later on!

I will implement this rule when my kids get older. It's fair and it helps them out for the future.

Amanda - posted on 12/11/2010

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When my kids grow up and get their first job, I'm not going to charge them for anything. They will be responsible for their gas for their car, and insurance just like I was. My son who will be 7 Christmas Eve has a piggy bank where he puts all the money he ever gets for Birthdays, Christmas, Allowance and any other time he gets money. He has over a hundred dollars in it and he's saving up for a gaming system. He really wants a Playstation 3, and the only way he's getting it is by buying it for himself. He will beg and plead at the store for candy, a small toy or other things, and I'll tell him that he has his own money. He refuses to use it so he goes without the candy or new toy. Don't get me wrong we do buy his clothes, soap, toys and other things on occasion or when he needs them, but we won't buy the extra stuff. I think that's teaching him good money management. But unless one of my kids were 21 and weren't in college just wrking than yes I would charge rent. Other than that no. If they live at home while going to college and couldn't work because they were focused on school than I wouldn't charge them rent. That's my opinion though.

[deleted account]

I won't charge for board until 18. After that, if they're still living with us and aren't going to school or don't have a job or a car, they better get one because I'm not buying them anything except food and occasionally clothes. I plan on giving my daughter every opportunity to be successful, but I will teach her how to do it on her own too.

But that's only if my husband and I are successful :( if not...then I guess Julie will just have to fend for herself.

Cassie - posted on 12/11/2010

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If my girls are still living at home after high school graduation, whether they pay rent or not will depend on what they are doing at the time. If they are going to college, technical school or are otherwise trying to further their education, they can live at home as long as they do so respectfully. They will need to abide by certain rules and curfews out of respect for their dad and me but they will always be welcome in our home.

If they are just bumming off us because we're their parents, ie. not attending some sort of school, they will be expected to help out financially in regards to rent and their food.

I agree with Sara H. that I hope to have raised my girls to be productive, hard-working members of society so this shouldn't be an issue.

And I love Laura's idea of saving the money and then using to help them get set up once they do move out!!

Corinne - posted on 12/11/2010

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If they're old enough to work, they're old enough to pay their way. You can't expect them to understand how much it costs to feed and clothe them if you don't teach them. When I was at college I was doing 8-12hrs a day there, then working a couple of hours at night collecting glasses in a bar and also doing two 8hr shifts at weekend, so my Mum didn't have to pay out for new dance gear each term and so I could give something back. I would hope to do a good enough job with my kids, that they would want to contribute like I did.

Tah - posted on 12/11/2010

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i was paying rent when i was 16...i guess they figured i had a baby so i must have a million dollars stashed under my couch bed(that i couldn't even sleep on til everyones else's company went home at night)...so here i am working for 5.50 cents an hour, after traveling over an hour to work after school let out, and paying for everything my child needed, welfare would not help me because my parent's made great money on paper..when you divide it by the bills for 10 kids..not so much..lol. SO every week i had to give my mother money..buy my transpass for the bus, pampers, milk, clothes, food for baby....now my hair was a gift because my older sister was in hair school to be a hair dresser like my mommy, so she used to practice all the new styles on me so that i got for free if i was the test dummy and i gave her like 10 bucks if it was done at my request. I am the queen of getting the real deal for cheaper, so i love outlets that sell things with some defect that you would never ever notice..like some 100 dollar jeans that had like a thread on the inner inner pocket that ws sticking out that matlock couldn't find...for 20 bucks..yeah thats me...



Then i realized that the house was getting(understatement) too small because all the sister's(all between 8-12 years older than me) were moving in and out with there kids when things were rough or some boyfriend was a prick..so at 18 i moved out into my own apartment...then a better apartment, outside the city with a pool and everything(lol) then at 23 i moved out here to VA. I am blessed i havent had to move back home since that day..



I don't think i will be charging my minor children for room and board(it crossed my mind when i got the christmas list this year..lol) but if at 18 they aren't in school..then yes..SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!..now they also have to get a job..unless they are living on campus. i know how these kids eat and it will only get worse with time..lol..even if i say give me 20 bucks every pay....i do think they need to know it's not a free ride so when they move out, they don't think there are a electricity, food and cable fairies that come sprinkle dust all over to keep you warm and fed.

Jocelyn - posted on 12/11/2010

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If my child is still in school, then no I wouldn't charge him anything. Room/food would be covered by me, but all other bills (cell phone, car insurance etc) would be covered by him of course. If he is no longer in school, then yes I would charge him rent. I'm not sure WHAT I would charge him, but it would probably depend on what job he has, if he's saving for anything, what the job/housing market is like at the time...

Jodi - posted on 12/11/2010

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Like most ladies here, if my kids are going to college and living in my house then no rent. I would not make them buy their own groceries or pay house bills, but they would have to buy their own clothes, pay their own phone bills, car insurance, and whatever else they have their own extras. I DO NOT, however, expect my children to work full time through college like i had to, and would take that into consideration with their class load.

If they dont' go to college, well, life isnt' easy and they didn't make it anye asier for themselves and I can't give them a free ride. Not only would they pay rent and their own bills and help around the house, but there would be a time limit to how long they could stay. (IF they weren't trying to figure out a different situation for themselves.

Post college, if they're having a hard time or want to save up for a house, they could live with us, pay their own bills, help out with house bills (minimally) and upkeep of the house.

We JUST signed our mortgage for our home a few weeks ago after living here for 3 years. It was my FIL's house, but they moved and let us move in. We have paid all of the bills and half of the mortgage payment each month because they knew we were saving up to buy it. If we hadn't planned on buying it, they would ahve put it on the market...it has been so greatly appreciated for them to help us out like that and I would like to extend the same generosity to my children one day if they need it.

Lady Heather - posted on 12/11/2010

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If they are living at home and not going to university or any other sort of job training, they will most definitely pay rent or be responsible for bills and food or something of that manner. If you aren't working towards a career, then you are working and working adults have to be financially responsible. There might be a bit of grace period after high school grad or if they get laid off or something like that. There are always circumstances that don't fit the "plan".

My daughter is 18 months old though so I haven't really worked out the specifics. Her father and I were very enterprising youngsters so hopefully she inherits that drive to make her own cash. There will definitely be an allowance system around here. Unless she's having major problems with school, I will expect that she get work during summers in high school. I know too many people that never worked until they left home. It's not easy to get a job that way.

Amie - posted on 12/11/2010

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I wont' charge them rent but they will start paying for their own things. I will provide the necessities but anything over and above, they can pay for. (ex. they want to go out to dinner and a movie with friends, they want those ridiculously expensive new clothes, etc.)

I started teaching mine the value of a dollar young. Our 3 year old earns money through chores, just as our older ones do. Our 3 year old has all of hers in a piggy bank. I have no idea how much she has in there, she's not really at the stage to want anything other than what we get her. Our 6 year old saves his and then blows it on something he really wants, usually a toy. Our 10 year old saves half of hers and spends the other half. She has over $100 in savings now. She's doing quite well. The last time she dipped into her savings was to buy a couple new video games for her DSi.

When they're adults, that's a different matter. If they are staying with us to save on costs while going to Uni, again I won't charge rent but provide basic necessities. If they instead choose to work FT, depending on what they make we'll work out a small rent fee until they're ready to move out. Either way, they will still be expected to help out around the house, no matter how old they are. My parents did this with me, I'll do it with mine.

JuLeah - posted on 12/11/2010

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I won't charge her rent, but she will help out. She will take care of her own expenses of course, phone and insurance and such. She can contribute to water, heat, and collective food bill.
Mostly, I don't want her to assume a free room is owed her and I see some many young people do.
I know grown people who pay for nothing, mom still washes their clothes and makes them breakfast. The come and go at all hours, don't have jobs, demand pocket money, throw fits when mom is short on cash .... I won't have that.

Isobel - posted on 12/11/2010

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I will charge them rent if they are not in school but I will save the money (and not tell them) and give it to them when they move out to help set up their first apartment.

[deleted account]

I can't say for SURE what I will do since the girls are only 9 (in TWO days) right now, but I have an idea in mind....



I won't ever charge rent before they turn 18, but they will, of course, have chores (as they do already... but more) and have to pay for any 'extras' that they want. Full time student living at home... no rent, but pay own personal bills. They can help me out by cleaning, doing occasional shopping, etc..., but not actually giving me any money. Part time student (college) or not in school... definitely be giving me money. How much would depend on too many factors that I won't know until the time comes, so I can't answer that part.

[deleted account]

When I was a full-time student, my parents did not charge me anything for room/board. However, I paid my own bills for everything else. My parents included me on their car insurance because it was cheaper, so I just paid my share. When I started to teach full time, I continued to live at home to save up. I paid whatever my mom asked for that month. She knew I was saving for a big dream wedding, but I still paid every month.

LaCi - posted on 12/11/2010

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It really depends on what they're doing. They can go to school here, we're surrounded by universities. So if he were to choose to go to school here and live at home it's really not a big deal to me. I lived at home until I was 22ish, I was in school most of that time, working full time when I wasn't in school. I think as long as he isn't sitting on the couch doing nothing I won't have a problem with it.

As for being responsible with money, I want him to have a job in high school and he can begin to learn the value of money at that point. If he wants extra cash in college, he'll have to work part time.

Cherese - posted on 12/11/2010

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My oldest is graduating this year and if she doesnt go to college and wants to live at home.. yes! We will charge her rent and she will have to pay for her own things. No one gets a free ride in life and any child of mine that thinks it will be easier for them to not go to college is going to learn that. Now if she winds up here but in a local college I would be a bit more forgiving as she is trying to improve her circumstances. After college, if its just not easy for her I would take that into consideration as well. Basically the only time I would be harsh about it is when she thinks she is getting off "easy" with her decisions.

Sarah - posted on 12/11/2010

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My husband, my son, and I have lived with my parents for 15 months now. My parents charge us a little bit of rent (about 200 a month to cover certain things) & then we pay the rest of our bills: cell phone, car insurance, etc etc. Plus, we pay for anything extra we want. We're actually moving into our own place today (looooong overdue!). I am very grateful that my parents allowed us to stay with them, which enabled us to save up money to move out on our own. If my kids end up in our situation someday, I will allow them to stay with us, but they must contribute what they can. ;)

Tah - posted on 12/11/2010

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i just collected the rent...the 4 year old was short..i'm typing him his late payment letter to post on his door right now..

[deleted account]

Most likely not...but then I plan to raise children that take responsibility for themselves.

If we are talking about a young 20-something that is in school full-time, working hard, and has a "life plan" for after university, then nope.

If it's a 30-something, can't hold a job, won't pick up his own socks...then yes, I would charge rent. But If we get to that point then I've probably not done my job correctly to begin with, and charging rent won't change much.

Now my husband and his brother were in a similar scenario. My in-laws live and work out of state, but they own a house here. The "boys" live rent free in the house, as long as they take care of all the up-keep. When I married Jason, I moved right in. We were there, rent free, for the first 3 years of our marriage. My brother-in-law and his wife live there now...rent free.

But this situation is pretty unique. A renter wouldn't work, because the in-laws will come home for several weeks at a time every few months. They don't want to leave the house abandoned when they are away.

I can guarantee you that the "boys" are not spoiled irresponsible, ungrateful children. It's just a situation that worked out in everyone's favor. =)

Petra - posted on 12/11/2010

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Like Jodi, I will likely require my boy to get a part time job to pay for extras (expensive clothes, cars/gas/insurance, spending money) and he's got to earn his keep, so to speak (chores, etc.), while young. After high-school, hells yeah he gets a free ride if he's going to school. If university is far away, I'll be helping him as much as I can. If he's 20 years old and wants to sit in the basement and play WOW all day, he's going to be paying rent and buying his food and doing his own laundry.

Tracey - posted on 12/11/2010

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When my brother and I got jobs my Mum used to say pay a third (to her to cover food & bills) save a third and we could then spend the last third. I would charge my kids something but i don't know what percentage.

Jessica - posted on 12/11/2010

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No, I will not charge them to live with me. As their parent my home will always be open to them. They will, however, have other obligations as they are older and can meet them- paying their own cell phone bills, car payment/insurance, possibly even some of their own food. I'm not going to make my home unwelcome to them but they won't be totally mooching off me either ;) I want them to be independent by that point.

I moved out the summer after I graduated college. My dad was selling our house of 16 years because he had to move to get another job; but I would have anyway- I was excited to have my first full time job and wanted to live on my own. MIL is very close with her 4 sons still and they come over frequently. On one hand I like that. On the other hand, I think she over does it- DH's youngest brother still lives with her (he's 21, so not "too old") and while he has a job and pays for his own cars (his hobby) she does EVERYTHING else for him and it pisses me off to no end. She wakes him up for work every morning because he can't wake up to an alarm. She makes his lunch every day. She does his laundry for him- even when he complains when it isn't done. He doesn't even know how to use a washing machine. Its pathetic. So, I don't want to be like that, lol!

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