Teens these days ....there's no respect anymore.

Charlie - posted on 06/23/2011 ( 51 moms have responded )

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"Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."

— Socrates





For as long as there have been teens there have been adults tisk, tisking them and talking of their rebellion.....Do you really think teens today are any worse than they used to be ?

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There's something about the way a teenage brain that's wired a bit differently than an adults. They are more egocentric and more likely to take risks. In general that is. It doesn't mean that society is going to hell in a handbasket. It just means that they have not finished growing up yet.

Peggy - posted on 06/26/2011

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The only reason teens are worse today then years ago is because parents never corrected them as children nor do they care what they are out doing as a teenager.

It is a parents responsibility to teach a child right from wrong and too many just dont want to deal with it. I have a 16 yr old and 8 yr old who are well behaved, never get into trouble nor back talk adults... but I have NEVER allowed it!! I have always told them if they got in trouble at school then they would be in more trouble when they get home. I put the blame on the parents especially if they are always putting the blame somewhere else on their kids misbehavior.. like wanting to blame McDonalds for having a toy in the Happy Meal because their child throws a fit for it. Be the parent.. say NO and be done with it. Making excuses for your childs bad behavior really needs to be put on you as a parent! If you dont correct your kids when they misbehave or throw a fit then the only one to blame for them being the child/teen they are is YOURSELF!

Isobel - posted on 06/24/2011

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hah...parents are taking a more active roll than ever before in the history of humanity...if you don't like the entitled attitude, give them space and allow them to feel a little "natural consequences" of their actions without their parents bailing them out of everything.

I don't think that teenagers are any worse than they have ever been, but I do think that society in general has an entitled asshole mentality...and that's because we don't let our kids explore and gain a sense of themselves when they are away from us.

Amanda - posted on 06/23/2011

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Nope children aren't worse, many parents are lazier. :0)



Children can only behave as well as they are taught too.

Stifler's - posted on 08/13/2012

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Teens are disrespectful because they're teens. They're not an adult with adult rights but better behaviour than that of a child is expected. It's a transition period which can seem very unfair. You can drive, work and pay tax but you can't vote for the leader of your country or have a beer at the end of the day.

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Kathy - posted on 08/13/2012

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I have not read any of the replies (will later) but I do not think teens today have no respect.



I know a lot of teens - I have two (13 and 16) and come in contact with teens at work (albeit library-going teens, lol). I only know of two teens who I consider "regularly and without cause" disrespectful. Both have serious issues and are hurting in one way or another. I do not find teens more disrespectful than any other age grouping.



My daughter can be disrespectful to me (more in tone than anything else - the snark, eye rolling and impatience get old, let me tell you!) but is an angel out in public. I think her behaviour is developmentally normal, however, and hardly makes the case for "teens are more disrespectful than they used to be."



I might have gotten lucky with my kids and teens I come in contact with - but I do not think so. I treat them with respect and they return the treatment in kind.

Stifler's - posted on 08/13/2012

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I actually think bullying was worse back in the day. Because the mantra was "harden up princess" when you got your head flushed down the toilet. Nowadays bullying is a lot less acceptable.

Karla - posted on 08/13/2012

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"Sorry about the first sentence from my last comment. I just got really upset when I first read the post =3"



Press the "edit" button and fix it, it's in your power.



by the way, are you a mother now?

Jodi - posted on 08/13/2012

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And is that how you speak to your mother?
I know my kids don't speak to me like that, neither do they treat me with disrespect. How about taking a little personal responsibility for your own behaviour too?

Keoni - posted on 08/12/2012

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Sorry about the first sentence from my last comment. I just got really upset when I first read the post =3

Keoni - posted on 08/12/2012

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Fuck you guys. You guys were teens to and were just the same as everyone else. And not all teens "show disrespect to elders and love to chatter in place of exercise...." etc. Most of us are actually the opposite of those things that you mentioned. And do you know where the disrespect comes from? Huh? It comes from you guys, the parents. Parents are the reason why teens act rebellious because you're parents skills aren't good. If have to take initiative and discipline your children (Yes I know this sounds wierd coming from a teen). So anyways it's your fault that your teen acts disrespectful be because you are bad parents and spoil your teen.

Amanda - posted on 06/27/2011

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I also got that speech as a child Debby, and my get reminded every so often of their rights. :0)

Debby - posted on 06/27/2011

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This debate was begun by SOCRATES! So no, they are no worse....mine are grown, but I still get comments about their wonderful manners--and we started right away with the grandbabies (with Mommy & Daddys' support, of course).

When we were children, my Dad gave us the rights and privileges speech: You have a right to air to breathe, food to keep alive and a roof over your head---everything else is a privilege. We all shared it with our children. As a Mom and teacher I have seen children who were naturally rebelious, lazy and over-indulgent parents ( saw one who sent he son to Grandma's so he would have to endure appearing in court for shop-lifting, didn't work out too well for her) and parents who are involved and raise wonderful children!
The key is to be involved and communicate, express boundaries!

Amanda - posted on 06/27/2011

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@ Laura Golightly I dont think I said fighting was new, its how the parents handled it was the issue. Of course fighting isnt new, I have been in a crowd when fighting has happened (but unlike these girls I would of tried to stop the fight). The cops were called because this poor child was beat up, and has parents who care.



If i ever had the cops show up at my door as a teenager, I wouldnt of seen the light of day for at least 6 months if not a year. I sure as hell wouldnt of been allowed on the computer, phone, watch tv for a very long time, because thats what parents are suppose to do. Punish a child. My parents might of even went as far as allowing the cops to arrest me and process me!

Sal - posted on 06/26/2011

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i think danielle has a point, teens (and younger) have always been rebelious and badly behaved, but there were never excuses made for them, working mothers, single mothers, poverty, adhd, food addatives, poor teaching, dead beat dads, too much pressure, not enough responsibilty, not enough disapline, too much disapline.........you name it there is an excuse for their bad behavior, but rarley is the kid made to pick up their act, pop a lable on them not make any real behavioural changes....

Christina - posted on 06/26/2011

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Yeah, they are snottier but the parents are at fault. I just got back from a honeymoon with my husband. OMG, I wanted to slap 90% of the the kids/teens that were there. Most were rude, and hateful (not to us because my husband is intimidating, lol). The parents would watch them and not say anything.

Isobel - posted on 06/26/2011

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I think everybody has a very selective memory. These things have always happened...and will always happen.

Amanda: you've got to be kidding me if you think that a circle of kids surrounding a fight is something new...the thing that's new about that is that the cops got called.

There was even a gang fight in Romeo and Juliet for God's sake...Mercutio got killed, remember?

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I think people are making excuses for bad behavior. Growing up there was not excuses for it and with my kids the same goes. Yes I am not the perfect parent I make mistakes but kids should not mouth off to adults at all they need to show respect. How can we function as adults. I believe that rebellion leads some times to other bad behavior.

Kimberly - posted on 06/25/2011

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just when i was a kid we were to busy to get into trouble we had alot of chores. i grew up on a farm with town a half hour away. my mom keeps telling me the worst she has ever done was sneak out of the house once and got drunk and never did it again lol. and i know me and my family have WAY more respect for our parents. i saw how hard my mom worked to keep a roof over our heads when we were growing up i always looked up to her. i see this stay at home mom thats my best friend but her son is on probation leaves when ever he wants knowing she wont do anything about it. and her youngest son screams and swears at her. i understand she is not enforcing anything there for she has kids like she does. but what trouble could kids get into before with farm life. town was to far away to walk, and chores had to be done. and kids were taught chores comes first even sometimes before school. i come from a farm life so i know lol from expereince.

Jenn - posted on 06/25/2011

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There are differences today with technology, more families with both parents working, more single parent households etc., but I don't think that kids OR parents are any better or worse these days. There have always been, and always will be good and bad people out there, regardless of age or what year it is.

Tara - posted on 06/25/2011

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I firmly believe that teens are the way they are so that we don't have such a hard time when it comes to saying good bye when they move out. I think there is a natural separation between parents and teens during those years. It happens for a reason, so that they can become independent of us and so that we can let go of the need to parent and control them.
They push us away and we try to pull them back in, they push harder and we pull harder. When really I think we should be more pliable and allow this separation to occur naturally.
I don't think teens are any more disrespectful than 30 years ago, I think parents are trying harder to assert control over young adults rather than preparing them for life as independent people.

So many parents of teens that I know are constantly saying things like "I wish he would just go back to being compliant and nice to me" or "god I wish they never hit puberty" or "I'm the parent and what I say goes, ALWAYS." "until they move out of this house I make the rules and they follow them"
etc. etc.
Teens need to be free to make mistakes and learn from them. They need to be allowed to express their autonomy and independence.
In the natural order of things teens would begin having more responsibilities as they became closer to adult age, they would naturally begin taking on more adult roles and positions, they would naturally separate from the home due to need to start their own families etc.
Now teens do not have to work or learn to do anything in particular in order to survive. They don't have to contribute to the survival of the family unit. While historically teens stopped being children and having their needs met for them when they became able to contribute to the family's survival.
Now teens are stuck in the child like responsibilities that in the past would have been traded in and evolved into more adult like activities.
Now kids can still pretty much do nothing while their parents provide everything for them. They can remain helpless and dependent a lot longer.
This is unfortunate in my opinion as it leaves teens with the need for growth and no place to do it.
We coddle them, we make them think that the world is their oyster and they can have whatever they want.

The other issue I have with teens today is the methods of communication they primarily use. IM and texting etc. are not effective ways to communicate with other humans.
So much of our communication is body language and subtleties.
That is lost on teens, they have a hard time reading people's facial cues when they not accustomed to seeing them.
This limits their interpersonal relationships and does not allow for emotional growth as well as the old fashioned communication style of face to face conversation.

Minnie - posted on 06/25/2011

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I don't know...I think there have been good parents and bad parents for as long as their have been families. Each generation laments "back in MY day!" and "if only parents would discipline!"

I don't think lazy parenting is on the rampage any more than it ever has been. If anything, people are at least wisening up to the fact that smacking around your children with a belt or a tree branch isn't all that great. At least we have laws about that now. At least spanking in its entirety has become illegal in some places.

I just can't imagine that just because we see a child acting in a way that is contrary to a smooth-running society that it means that parents are lazier than the rest of human history.

Amanda - posted on 06/25/2011

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Here is a good example of what happened in my neighbourhood this week.

3 Girls stand around watching another girl beat up a younger girl. Cops show up at these childrens homes and threaten to charge the by standers as well as the child who started the fight. Few minutes later all the children are on facebook laughing about how they might be charged with a crime just for watching a fight, and going on about how the Cops wanted to know why they didnt call them. Their answer was because they didnt want to be rats, adults have no clue what its like to be a teenager now. I wanted to scream, and go to each of these childrens homes, to ask their parents why their clearly disrespectful, law breaking children are on computers laughing about cops and the girl they beat up.

I instead had a conversation with my child, explaining if you show up to a fight in our city, you are agreeing to fighting therefore can be charged with assult, even if you never lay a hand on another person. My daughter nods and says "If you arent a part of the solution, you are apart of the problem, mom". I smiled and said I'm glad to know through all your teenage eye rolling you are really listening to me!

As I said before teenagers arent worse, lazy parenting is on the rampage.

Minnie - posted on 06/24/2011

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I always roll my eyes when I hear the "kids/teens these days" mantra.

It's as bad as Christians saying "see? The rapture is coming soon because LOOK! There have been SO MANY earthquakes recently! It's proof!"

There have always been youth, youth act like youth, just as there have always been earthquakes.

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2011

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I don't think they are worst I think that it's more socially excepted to have a dis-respected teen so I think there are more of them.

Teresa - posted on 06/24/2011

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I think they are worse because of the way they have been raised or maybe I should say, their not having been raised properly. Parents teach respect of authority but too many are busy avoiding conflict with their teens. It's easier to let them do as they please.

Johnny - posted on 06/24/2011

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LOL @ the rude old people. I've been noticing that too. Particularly here amongst the wealthier white men. Holy shit! You'd think that they were royalty. I think they worked all their lives with people doing their bidding and they've come to expect that everyone on earth is going to jump up and say "yes sir" the minute they walk into a room. When that doesn't happen they throw tantrums like 2 year olds. I saw some old guy at the deli berating a middle aged mother with her teenage son because she wouldn't let him take her number and go first. I could not believe the gall. Compared to some old people I see, most teenagers have something called manners and respect. Not all, but I actually am generally impressed with the level of decorum and attitude that they have. Now if they would just realize that everything isn't going to be handed to them on a silver platter, they'll be fine.

Hmmm... just re-reading that, it occurred that the problem with behavior amongst all the generations is a sense of unearned entitlement. It makes people lazy and it makes them rude.

Mabel - posted on 06/24/2011

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How about taking an active role to start with.Or maybe actually trying to listen and spend time with their kid.

Dana - posted on 06/24/2011

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Sarah, all old people are grumpy! lol

I do think that teenagers have always been....well, teenagers.
That being said, I think times are different in the fact that they've got technology which makes them a bit crazier then they used to be or even dangerous- as when they've got their hands on cars.

Truthfully, there have always been "good" kids and "bad" kids but, the bad were few and far between, where there does tend to be a bit more "bad" kids these days. All this stuff goes in cycles though.

Kacie - posted on 06/24/2011

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yes, but its because parents arent parenting like they use to (or should!)

Sarah - posted on 06/24/2011

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I think the older generation is worse than it used to be though!!

Honestly, the amount of rude pensioners I come across (we have a LOT living in our town) is insane!
The teenagers are usually much more polite......well, mostly.

Kimberly - posted on 06/23/2011

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oh hell yeah. my next door nieghbor kid is just nasty to his mom. yelling swearing. calling her crazy. and she puts up with it from both her kids. and i know too many kids with two tvs in there room at the age of 11. one for watching tv at the same time of playing video games. its nuts. it took me 20 years to have one tv of my own.

Amber - posted on 06/23/2011

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I don't think they are any worse...it's just that "disrespectful" things that they do are different from the "disrespectful" things that the generation before them did.

Plus, this is kind of another thing that you have to blame on media/technology. Twenty years ago, kids were fighting and bickering and being assholes too...they just didn't record it and post it on YouTube for the world to see. Now, instead of 10 people seeing a fight, 10 million will see that same fight. It makes a difference

I guess I think of it in the same way as medical technology. A couple decades ago, elderly were having problems with hips. They figured out how to fix that. But now there is more pressure on the knees...new problem for a new generation.

Stifler's - posted on 06/23/2011

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My husband works in the mines and people always think that I should ask him to get their boyfriend a job so they can be rich. Tonnes of people come out here for that reason, do a few months of 12.5 hour days (Coalfields does the least hours out of all the companies) and leave because "it's too much for them and they don't have a social life" despite making a lot more than they made at their previous minimum wage job where they whinged that they were poor. When will they get it that you can't have a raging social life, sleep in every day until 10am AND make good money.

Johnny - posted on 06/23/2011

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I have to agree about the spoiled with lack of direction thing. My nephew just graduated from high school and has big plans to build fences and play video games. He seems to think that is.going to lead to a cushy lifestyle,lmao. Nice kid, never in trouble, but I really just want to give him a swift kick in the rear. Many of his buds and my niece's friends seem similarly over-indulged and under-motivated.

Charlie - posted on 06/23/2011

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"The only thing I dislike is teens misusing Centrelink to fund their lifestyle of smoking, drinking and going out on the weekend and sleeping in all day instead of staying in school and getting a real job. Not the majority of course but it wasn't a possibility to do that in past generations. "

To be fair though Emma there are a lot of adults who do that too unfourtunately.

Charlie - posted on 06/23/2011

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I do not think anything has changed , teens are teens and I do agree Sal that they are more aware of the wider world but essentially they are still teens .
I think that was the point of the quote I posted above by Socrates .....even over 2000 years ago adults were saying these things about teens , it sure made me laugh when I read who had written it because I hear this ALL the time as if what teens are doing is something new.

Stifler's - posted on 06/23/2011

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The only thing I dislike is teens misusing Centrelink to fund their lifestyle of smoking, drinking and going out on the weekend and sleeping in all day instead of staying in school and getting a real job. Not the majority of course but it wasn't a possibility to do that in past generations.

Sal - posted on 06/23/2011

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one thing i have found is that while they are spolit and love the luxury as the question stated they do also tend to have a great social concious for the big issues, last night my sons school organised a 4 kids by kids concert to raise maoney for the starlight foundation, the kids compared done the media, catered, and co ordinated with 3 other school to make it a community event, and provided all the entertainment and it was a spontainious kids idea, not teacher input, so they are great at that sort of thing

Mrs. - posted on 06/23/2011

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Yeah, I don't think rebellion is the main issue with teens or those in their early twenties...it is a lack of interest in anything, period. I'd love it if my little bro was passionate about anything...including rebellion..he couldn't be bothered. Not sure what it is. Even though, it isn't all kids of that gen, a lot of them are just bored and entitled. My favourite brother included.

Johnny - posted on 06/23/2011

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Nope. It is always pretty much the same. Some people are generally good, some are generally bad and some need a bit of maturing before they are ready and capable of making good decisions.

Rosie - posted on 06/23/2011

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i think some kids are worse. i feel some kids have gotten BETTER than the generation before them, so it kinda balances out, lol.

i don't really have proof of either, other than my observations, but i really don't think teens are ruining the world or anything.



i DO feel that there are a bunch of illiterate, computer talking teens waaaay more than we have had in previous generations. if i have to see my 19 year old SIL "tlk lik dis" anymore i may freak out...:)

Stifler's - posted on 06/23/2011

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WAY back in the day the idea of *teenagers* was unheard of. The kids grew up and were immediately adults and married off. It's only the last 50 years or so that this 'THE YOUTH OF TODAY... SO DISRESPECTFUL' came about. I think since it came about people have been saying that and every generation is allegedly worse than the last.



I think it's okay for teens to be into themselves, have fun, live large... because let's face it they have hardly any responsibility bar a job that provides for themselves only, car payments and what to wear on the weekend. Much like many single childless 30-somethings who are exactly the same. Always on their iPhone, rude to everyone, stick it to everyone who gives them shit, even some parents drive like an asshole, post 200 pictures of themselves doing duck face etc.

Amanda - posted on 06/23/2011

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this all depends on the parents and how they are rasied. Teenage rebellion is expected we all do it at one point or another. Personally my kids ( 9 and 6) are darn good kids with kid moments of being a smart mouth or *shock me shock me* talk back. as long as you teach them and not berat them they will keep the lessons and use them when they are done being in the stage they are in. Side note: i was a complete smartass kid and now help my grandparents get up and down run to the store for them and treat them and my parents and those who don't treat me as a complete dunce with the respect they deserve unless they show me that they don't deserve any respect then I am just civil ....

Mabel - posted on 06/23/2011

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I have to agree with Amanda.If more parents would take more of an active role in their kids and actually teach them and show them how to be good law abiding citizens then maybe we wouldn't need to have debates about spanking and other forms of punishment.Don't get me wrong but I when see some woman sitting in a McDonalds and her kid is running around totally out of control and the staff are watching her kid better than she is then yes I believe it is the parents fault.I think the government has taken the rights of parents and shoved them so far down that no kid will ever learn what respect is because we can't enforce how we teach our children with the same kinds of action and reaction we had when we were growing up.If I did something I got a long speech and if I was too stupid to figure out what my mom was trying to teach me then my dad would whip my ass! Not to many times did I not learn on how to behave haha.If the government would stop telling us how to discipline all the time and what is and isn't allowed I believe we would have a better turn out on how our kids behaved in public without us having to breath down their necks the whole time.I am not saying the government is the whole problem but if these kids can't respect us or an authority figure how are they going to respect themselves when they get older?Have you noticed that after the ruling on whether we can discipline was changed that more parents are actually doing harm and killing their kids?I don't know if that is the reason but it may be something to think about....

Sal - posted on 06/23/2011

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yep kids have always been tisked tisked by adults, and this generation is no different, BUT i have a teen and he is lovely, kind and well behaved on the whole, but also selfserving, lazy just like all of his peers, but they live in a time where they feel so many thing are their rights.....not a privledge, like getting a licence for example, my son just thinks that he is going to turn of age and i'm going to teach him to drive, ....no i don;t think so, if he can't follow my instructions in the house without back chatting and doing it when it suits him, i'm not going to put him in control of my car, if he can't show sensible decision makeing in his school work and socail life i'm not going to let him drive me around.....when he shows he is responsible actions and listens to me without back chatting and questioning then i'll teach him

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