The 7 Unbreakable Laws of Grandparenting

Dee Dee - posted on 02/28/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )




This morning I read this articles from this columnist shares the family rules that can keep us out of trouble.
On the one hand, it was so simple. There was a new baby, B, and there was nothing to do except love her. That was the one hand. The other hand, belonging to her parents, held all the cards. I soon learned that I could love my granddaughter fiercely, but I had no say — in anything. She was mine, but not mine. Although this is perfectly natural and should not have shocked me, it did. (Okay, I admit that on occasion the word bossy has been used to describe my behavior. Still.) For many parents used to being in charge, deferring to the rules and wishes of our adult children and their partners is humbling. I ended up editing a book on the subject to help me get a handle on my new role. Here are a few guidelines that — so far — have kept me out of hot water
1. Seal your lips.
2. You may love thy grandchild as my own — but never forget that he or she is not my own.
3. Abide by the rules of the new parents.
4. Accept your role.
5. Don’t be surprised if old issues get triggered when your child has a child
6. Get a life
7. Let go of all expectations

This is quite a change for me, from worry about every little thing to not worry about anything. Let go of all expectations is hard too.
What do you guys think?


View replies by

Celeste - posted on 03/04/2013




My mom follows most of the rules except #1. She often mentions how SO DIFFERENT our parenting is. And it's not in a nice way either.

Firebird - posted on 02/28/2013




Surprisingly, my own mother has mostly been able to abide by these rules without ever needing to be told so. When I had my daughter (first grandchild) I was completely prepared to have to fight my own mother for control of my baby. I was not prepared for her to step back and merely offer support, encouragement and good, practical, useful advice. I was pleasantly surprised!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/28/2013




Beautiful, Dee Dee, and very well stated! It should be sent to grandparents world round, as well as kept handy by those of us not blessed with grandchildren yet!

I especially like #5.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/28/2013




Yup. Good rules for a grandparent to live by. Here is another one for you, don't offer parenting advice unless you are asked.

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