The cost of a Wedding......

Jodi - posted on 12/13/2009 ( 41 moms have responded )

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A recent survey in Australia has shown that the average cost of a wedding is AU$33,000 (approx US$30,000)



Thoughts?



My thought is that if my kids want a wedding that expensive, now would be a good time to start saving because there is no way I am paying for it.



My own weddings never cost anywhere near this. I married my current husband almost 6 years ago, had 80 guests (any more than that and we were inviting too many people we really didn't know very well), and our wedding, including the dress, our kids outfits (they were our wedding party), the photography, the cake, the venue, the catering, the celebrant, the limo, and the wedding night in a large luxury suite (our kids went on our wedding night too........because it was their wedding as well!!) cost around $5000..... I couldn't justify this money in a million years. Is it about the wedding??? Or is it about the marriage???

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Emma - posted on 08/07/2011

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I had the perfect wedding and it cost us R10 or $1.50 .
My hubby and i got married at home affairs the day before our engagement party the R10 was the price of the Certificate.
we got married in jeans and t shirts and borrowed 2 wittiness from the wedding party behind us as we did not have anyone with us.

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Ez - posted on 08/07/2011

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** Mod Notice **

As this thread is almost 2 years old, I will be locking it. You're welcome to start a new one if you wish to discuss this further.

Thanks!

Erin - DM Mod

[deleted account]

How funny that this thread showed up again! I still loved my wedding venue and have NO regrets over the grand wedding we both wanted!

Merry - posted on 08/07/2011

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Our wedding cost us $2200.
That included the flight to Vegas, five nights in the Luxor, all our food and souveniers, the ceremony, the limo, and the return flight!
Then we had a party the next month for our family and friends. My in laws paid for it all but it was quite cheap too, they rented a local legion hall, my mil cooked all the food, she baked me a massive wedding cake, she brought flowers from her garden, the invites were hand made, umm, that's about it!
It's about the marriage, not the wedding.
I loved our wedding, it was all about us two all alone, then we had the party for everyone else to celebrate with us.

[deleted account]

Close to ten for us.It will be i should say.
You can get carried away.We just focused on the really important things we could not go without that did not cost much(wedding dress,shoes,hair, make-up ,kids clothes,flowers, suit, vintage car,cake,crystal monagram, photographer,video guy and church) but the party etc brought it close to ten.We have gave about 2-3 years to plan+save for this.We are paying for our wedding ourselves and will enjoy every bit of it.When the day comes.

To us the main part and most important part is the marriage part.All we care about is meeting side by side and hand in hand at that alter with our kids beside us, church filled with family and friends.That is what we can't wait for.The meal and party is a bonus.
Starting a new chapter as husband and wife is priceless.:-)

Corinne - posted on 08/07/2011

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Wow! My wedding, including things I bought but didn't use (this includes my original dress) cost £2350. I mean, this is for everything, dresses, suits, venue hire, food, drink, ballons, candy buffet...... My best friends wedding dress cost more than my entire wedding! Head + brickwall = repeat.

[deleted account]

Mine was about 10,000. My parents saved for it. It was less pricey than some of my friends and still very nice because we were thrifty. Sounds funny saying you were thrifty after spending 10,000....lol. Michelle, I think you could do it quite nicely for 5,000. And you are right, its not about having everything perfect, its about being with your partner and sharing the day with the ones that love the two of you the most. At the end of the day, if you are a MRS, then your wedding was perfect ;)

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2010

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I'm not married yet, we're waiting until we have a *little* money to spend, but right now we have other priorities-- our son, for instance? lol.... We're broke, but we do want a nice party. We're hoping to spend maybe $5000, at most. I want it to be pretty and fun and not stressful, etc., I'm not concerned about making sure it's in a big fancy hotel and a huge formal dinner, etc.... It's about the love that you share with your partner.

Nikki - posted on 01/28/2010

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I had a small intimate perfect wedding it cost under five thousand we had 50 people,immediate family and close friends , it was beautiful and we didnt have to break the bank, It's one day and I know it's one of the most special days but I'd rather save that money for a house so we can enjoy it and not start off fresh in debt. I wanted to elope but my fam wasn't too impressed. Then we went away for 2 weeks and had a lovely honeymoon. all that mattered to me was I got to say I do to the man I love and I didnt need the wedding of a lifetime to do it, just him and the ones I loved

Rosie - posted on 01/13/2010

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my wedding was special and the best day of my life and i spent around $1500. i didn't feel the need to spend so much money on my wedding cause well, i'm cheap. my friends husband is a dj and they did it for free, another friend makes cakes and she did it for free, another friend works with flowers and she got the flowers and made them all for me for free, and i chose a spot at a state park in a pavilion so there weren't any crazy cake cutting fees, or keg fees. we made all the food ourselves, and my photographer was great-his fee was $500, and that was it-others around where i live were $1000 just for the fee-not including pictures which my photographer included.

i guess my point is that we had exactly the kind of wedding we wanted, it was perfect, we had a blast and didn't spend money we didn't have. if you have the money and can do it and that's what you want, then go ahead, do it. an expensive wedding would've made me go crazy-not what i would've wanted on my special day!

Sarah - posted on 12/23/2009

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Honestly, I don't remember what the final cost of my wedding was because my parents paid for it, but I know it was pretty pricey. But I say, who cares? My parents WANTED to put on a nice wedding for me and my sister (who got married the same summer) they had been saving for our weddings. In fact some of the stuff, like the hall, were more than my husband and I really wanted but it was where my parents wanted to do the reception. I had a beautiful and wonderful wedding. It was truly a day I will never forget and it did not start me in debt. To me, you only get married once so make it special!

Adrienne - posted on 12/22/2009

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I think that a wedding should be about merging your family and forming a union, not about spending a bajillion dollars. As with many things in modern society people have really lost what marriage in itself is supposed to be about. My husband and I got married for free in our city market in a five minute ceremony. Family and close friends came, then we went to dinner at a hotel and stayed the weekend. It was still the happiest and one of the most memorable days of my life. I think we spent $200. IF you do choose to have a huge wedding that is your right, but why not keep it in the family? Make favors yourself? Cook the food with family? That is how it was done for years...I could probably go on about this for hours..lol

La - posted on 12/18/2009

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I'd rather get married at the courthouse and use the wedding budget to go on a kick*ss honeymoon LOL!

Betsy - posted on 12/16/2009

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Quoting Louise:



Quoting Krista:

We kept our wedding teeny-tiny. One reason was because we wanted to keep costs low -- we were getting ready to build our new home the following spring. So my husband and I took off to New York, and got married on Bow Bridge in Central Park. My dress was $100 off of EBay, and hubby already owned his suit. I ordered roses from a florist the day before, and assembled them myself into a bouquet. My jewelry (not counting my engagement ring) was $15. My best friend from high school lives in NJ, so she came to be our witness, and we paid our officiant a few hundred bucks. Our two big expenses were the photographer (I wanted professional photos -- I figured we'd have those photos the rest of our lives, so I wanted good ones), and our wedding supper (the seven-course tasting menu at Babbo.) I think the entire enchilada cost us less than $1000 total, including taxes and tipping.

My stepdad has a theory that the size of the wedding is inversely proportional to the success of the marriage. : )





Your stepdad's theory is awesome :)





No wonder we are still together. We decided to elope, got a family member to babysit Frankie, saying we were going out to dinner, and went to a justice of the peace for $30. We bought my band that day, and it was just a simple band for like $40. I didn't even get my engagement ring until we were married 5 yrs because I told him I would rather buy living room furniture. I upgraded with an anniversary band, but for my wedding band I still wear the $40 one. It is bent from a fight our first year when I threw it at him lol, but this is the one that symbolizes our marriage to me, dents and all, so I refuse to ever replace it.

Marabeth - posted on 12/15/2009

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my husband and i spent $200 to get married. $100 for the minister, $45 for marriage licence and $50 for food/wine for ten people (our closest family). we got married on the bank of the columbia river in the middle of the summer. we had some surprise guests of a family of ducks wandering around the whole time. it was so cute.

Louise - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Krista:

We kept our wedding teeny-tiny. One reason was because we wanted to keep costs low -- we were getting ready to build our new home the following spring. So my husband and I took off to New York, and got married on Bow Bridge in Central Park. My dress was $100 off of EBay, and hubby already owned his suit. I ordered roses from a florist the day before, and assembled them myself into a bouquet. My jewelry (not counting my engagement ring) was $15. My best friend from high school lives in NJ, so she came to be our witness, and we paid our officiant a few hundred bucks. Our two big expenses were the photographer (I wanted professional photos -- I figured we'd have those photos the rest of our lives, so I wanted good ones), and our wedding supper (the seven-course tasting menu at Babbo.) I think the entire enchilada cost us less than $1000 total, including taxes and tipping.

My stepdad has a theory that the size of the wedding is inversely proportional to the success of the marriage. : )


Your stepdad's theory is awesome :)

Louise - posted on 12/15/2009

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Let them call the Suze Orman show Can I afford it segment. I guess for me it's not a matter of justifying the amount, if they want to spend and they can afford it, why not? It's their money, there's no morality in spending money. If they put themselves or you (parents) in a bad position, then that's wrong.

Personally I don't like weddings, I don't believe in the concept, it's a huge party. If they said, hey let's spend a s***load of money on a huge party, that would be more honest. If the time comes that your kids are thinking about getting married, let them save money, if it takes them 5 years, so be it.

My wedding was going to city hall, got married and went to a chinese restaurant. If I could have done it my way, I would have gone to Las Vegas and get married by an Elvis Impersonator in a drive thru chapel, that's my dream wedding.

Jocelyn - posted on 12/14/2009

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OMG that is friggin ridiculous. I think for some people it is definitely about the wedding, and not about the actual marriage. For example, people on their 2nd (or 3rd or 4th...) marriage, I can't really see it being about the marriage if they are spending money like that. If it was really about the marriage, why go thru all the trouble (and possibly into debt) to do a huge wedding again?! It just seems like it would be very selfish to keep having huge weddings...Does that make sense? I don't really know how else to describe it...selfish doesn't seem like the right word, but it's the only one I can think of right now...
Anyways...
There is no way I would spend that much on a wedding. I spent about 3 grand, with my parents chipping in 2 grand and my mil about $500. And our wedding had 160-some people. If I had $30000 to spend, I'd use it for a down payment on a house, or on university, or 2 new cars! Now, if I was super amazingly wealthy with money to blow, I can't say I wouldn't spend $30000. But (because I'm a big loser and like to help the world) I would also match what I spent on the wedding and give it to charity or a foundation or something.

Betsy - posted on 12/14/2009

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I love to spend money. When we got married many moons ago, I originally planned a very pricey wedding, then we decided the hell with it and eloped. Now, I am too practical. My mother owns a bridal shop, and when I see these girls go in and hear what they are spending, I can't stand it. Now I can't see spending that on one day, when it could go towards paying down a mortgage on a home, retirement, security savings, kids' college tuitions, etc. I do think it is a bit ironic though, divorce rates are going up while the leading cause of divorce is arguing over finances! I have told our older kids we would rather give them that chunk of money towards a down payment on a home or to bank for their future needs, so hoping they are practical at that time and take us up on that offer instead. It's easy to get swept away with the wedding and not focus on the important part...the marriage, but focusing on a party is more fun than on the actual work :-)

Amie - posted on 12/14/2009

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Of course it's about the wedding. It only happens once.. well in theory anyway. Divorce rates are climbing.

Ryan and I spent close to $20,000 on our wedding this past summer. Something we did do out of pocket and never got a loan for. We did have 18 months to plan it though. So we did it in increments. Not only that but I was a part of his sister's wedding during this time and my cousins wedding I've been helping to plan for next summer. So to save on stress we had a wedding planner. He was a tremendous help. I seriously can not imagine doing his job. He did pay me a compliment though on the day of the wedding. He said I was the easiest bride he's ever had! =D I knew what I wanted and told him. He didn't have to waste time in countless meetings with me to figure out the wedding. I already knew so all he had to do was write it down and wait for the day to set everything up. LOL! Plus the fact that I wasn't cheap helped he said. Apparently there was a bride whose wedding was the next night, whose wedding was similar to mine except she didn't want to feed her guests any decent food. She wanted to give them ham sandwiches. /:) She spent loads of money on decorations and everything else but tried to cheap out on the food. LOL! I found it bizarre. If you're going to do the full blown out deal, do it all.

We have the money to spend though. Even with our kids. We wanted a special night and got it. Not to say we couldn't have had a smaller cheaper version that was just as special but this is what we wanted. The reception was the best part! We had our dance choreographed and taught to us. Everyone got along smashingly... a few ended up really drunk though. At least they had the sense to use the shuttle buses we had set up to go back to the the hotel. Ryan's family are a bunch of hicks though. One of his cousins brought a camper van to the reception parked it outside and slept there for the night. LOL!!! That was probably the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

The only thing we put off was our honeymoon. Allie was only 3 months old at the time we got married and still breastfeeding. I didn't want to wean her and it wasn't fair to leave them all but her at home. So we took a family vacation instead. There is plenty of time yet for Ryan and I to take our honeymoon, when the kids are older.

Jodi - posted on 12/14/2009

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Loureen, that's my style of wedding. I didn't have a yard to call on like that, so we married in the Japanese Gardens on the lake here in Canberra, and then had a reception at the boathouse on the lake, with a spit roast and some cases of decent beer and wine, LOL!!

[deleted account]

I know I saved wedding stuff, and have to go back to it. I want to say my entire complete wedding was in the ballpark of $18,000 (US)



I have a friend who was a wedding consultant for many many years. It's a big business and she had to play therapist half the time. Then she started to ask to see the couple's tax returns for the previous year to give her an idea of what the couple could afford for a wedding. But she also said haf the time she saw plenty of spoiled brats with rich Daddy's and Mommy's who wanted to show off and 'one-up' her kid's wedding.

Charlie - posted on 12/13/2009

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while researching wedding dresses , cakes , venues ect ect ect , i read a lot of wedding mags and of all the couples in there sharing their stories not one of hem were under 30k in fact some went up to 70 k , INSANE !

Thats a house deposit , a years wage , a brand new car i think it is absurd i couldnt justify spending that much money especially with a child .



I am planning on getting married at night , in summer in my nannas garden that drops off into a cliff over looking nothing but blue pacific ocean , its beautiful and free i then will have catering in her garden and the placed decked out with a small band and close friends and family only .

Kylie - posted on 12/13/2009

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If i could have afforded a 30 thousand dollar wedding I probably would have had one. It's very easy to get carried away but i think a 30k debt is a bad way to start a life together.

My wedding was about 12 thousand including the honeymoon and we paid for everything with cash. We put in 6 and our parents put in 3 each.. We didn't have a sit down diner just canapes and tried to save money every way we could but it was still a big splurge and chunk of our savings. If i could do it again i would have a smaller wedding and have spent more on the honeymoon (120 guests was too many, I only got to talk to about half and felt guilty after wards for not being more social)

[deleted account]

Quoting Lindsay:

Sharon, that place looks beautiful! I'm sure it was an amazing day! =)



Thank you.  Our wedding was exactly what we wanted and planned for.  The only slight problems were the DJ & the photographer-but they were minor issues.  10 1/2 years later, we're still happily married!  I think why it worked for us is that we were both on the same page and my husband (fiance' then) and I both had the same kind of dream wedding in mind and worked our butts off for it.  1 1/2 years later, we were still in a good financial position to build our home.

Dana - posted on 12/13/2009

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I think it's a tad crazy to spend that much money on a wedding. Especially when you look at the divorce rate. I spent about $3500 to $4,000 on our wedding. I rented a hall, a Chapel and on the property was a cabin on the lake (Lake Erie). For some reason they don't advertise it as one package but I rented them all together so I could wake up at the cabin and be right there. I did everything myself besides cook the food. I ordered my cake but decorated it myself. I decorated the hall and chapel and came up with my own ideas for centerpieces and made those. Had I paid someone to do all of it, it would have cost thousands more but, I took a year and a half to plan it all and pulled it all together. I don't see anything wrong with having your day be special but, for me, not having to worry about the money I spent made it so much better.

[deleted account]

My friend and I both got married in 2004. I had a simple country wedding. I was married on my grandparents front lawn overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Hubby and I each had only one person to stand with us. There were 65 guests. The reception was at a local community centre and the meal was provided by the Womans' Auxilery (a home cooked meal for $8 a plate). It was followed by a bonfire on the beach. For our honeymoon, we toured the Maritime provinces. All this, including travel to Nova Scotia and back (we live in Ontario, the wedding was in Nova Scotia), costs us about $5000.



My friend went all out for the princess wedding. You name it, she had it. She had the designer gown, rented a huge hall, catered 6 course meal for 300+ guests. She had I don't know how many types of appetizers, chocolate fountain, punch fountain, wine fountain - all rented. She had a photographer and videographer that followed us and her hubby and his men around all day (I was one of the girls who stood with her, I'd never seen a wedding like this one). Their honeymoon was in Jamaica. Their wedding cost around $80,000 (that's not a type-o).



Totally unrelated but I find it interesting anyway - hubby and I are still happily married. My friend and her hubby (now ex) started divorce proceedings shortly after their second anniversary.

Sara - posted on 12/13/2009

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I think it is absolutely STUPID to go into debt for a wedding. If you have the money to pay for it out of pocket, then I say more power to you. However, most people don't have $30,000 laying around to throw a wedding, so...plus, when you put that much emphasis on the perfection of one day of your life, it's bound to be disappointing. Anyone that I have ever known that had a wedding that expensive was consumed by it. My friends just got married in August and spent that much money on it. Before the wedding they weren't even talking because of the stress associated with the plans. How's that a celebration of your love? I just think it's ridiculous. Plus, a lot of people have weddings like that and expect their parents to pay for it. I would never have the audacity to expect my parents, who helped put me through college, to pay that much money for a wedding. Their retirement is far more important than that. Personally, if I'm being blunt, it seems to me that weddings that extravagent are just really self-absorbed and tacky...it's not about the marriage, it's about the wedding at that point...IMO.

I had 4 people at my wedding, my parents and my inlaws. It cost $500. We spent our money on our honeymoon to Jamaica and had a reception/party afterward a few months later that cost total about $3500 (for the trip and the party). It was wonderful and I regret nothing.

Krista - posted on 12/13/2009

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We kept our wedding teeny-tiny. One reason was because we wanted to keep costs low -- we were getting ready to build our new home the following spring. So my husband and I took off to New York, and got married on Bow Bridge in Central Park. My dress was $100 off of EBay, and hubby already owned his suit. I ordered roses from a florist the day before, and assembled them myself into a bouquet. My jewelry (not counting my engagement ring) was $15. My best friend from high school lives in NJ, so she came to be our witness, and we paid our officiant a few hundred bucks. Our two big expenses were the photographer (I wanted professional photos -- I figured we'd have those photos the rest of our lives, so I wanted good ones), and our wedding supper (the seven-course tasting menu at Babbo.) I think the entire enchilada cost us less than $1000 total, including taxes and tipping.

My stepdad has a theory that the size of the wedding is inversely proportional to the success of the marriage. : )

Lindsay - posted on 12/13/2009

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Sharon, that place looks beautiful! I'm sure it was an amazing day! =)

[deleted account]

Yes, our biggest expense was the reception hall that catered on a per person basis, open bar, and upgraded cocktail hour THE WORKS! We got married in June 1999, but enagaged July 1997 so when we booked a few months later, we were locked in 1997 prices. This is where we got married (I think it's actually pretty close to Esther!): http://www.berkeleyplaza.com/index.aspx



And yes, we got married there as well-no church/synagogue wedding. I walked down the beautiful staircase.

Lindsay - posted on 12/13/2009

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If I ever get married, it won't be a big thing. I just can't justify spending that kind of money when I have to kids to take care of. Now had I not done things "backwards" and been married before my kids, I could see myself wanting a nice, big wedding. But now, it's really not that important to me.



My cousin is getting married Sept. 2010 and Madeline and Cooper have been asked to be the flower girl and ring bearer. They are going all out! And if that's their choice, so be it. They are having between 400-500 people and they catering alone (not including open bar or cakes, dinner exclusively) is around $7000. There is no telling what their final tab will be. It's none of my business really but I hope when it's all said and done, that it truly is worth the high price-tag....

Crystal - posted on 12/13/2009

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I was engaged for 9 years and when we finally had our wedding we only spent 2500 and that was it. My best girlfriend made all the table cloths, napkins, centerpieces and decorations. We rented the bigger decor and the food came from a bulk warehouse and was cooked fresh that morning. I am as happy as if I had a huge expensive wedding, and I am not in debt!

[deleted account]

That's ridiculous. I'll never understand the compulsion to have a big, expensive wedding rather than buying a home or a car.



Our wedding costs around $3,000 (U.S.), and it was lovely and memorable-and we're just as married as those couples who spent 10 times that on their wedding. I think it's things like an open bar, dinner at the reception, music, etc. that build up and make it expensive.

ME - posted on 12/13/2009

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My sister is planning her wedding for next July. The MINIMUM she could spend in any wedding event site was 25,000 $. Even if the total cost of what she wants doesn't tally up to that price tag, she HAS to pay that much. My other sister and her husband got married in a friend's back yard for about 500$ (including their clothes)...you don't HAVE to spend tens of thousands of dollars, but our culture has convinced us that we deserve that kind of extravagant experience. My own wedding was somewhere in between those two price tags...I had more guests than the back yard wedding, but fewer than the one coming up this July. My dress was a previous years model, and on sale for over 50% off the original price tag. My hubby and I volunteered to have a less expensive wedding, but my parents, who were paying for it made a lot of the decisions based on what their friends and family would think. We had the best time of our lives, but a lot of it was NOT necessary, and Trav and I would have been perfectly happy with less.

Cassie - posted on 12/13/2009

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I agree! The cost of weddings is ridiculous today!! When my husband and I got married, we approached everything looking for a deal! We were able to have a large wedding with over 200 guests with a delicious dinner, fun dj, plenty of drinks and only paid 3500 for everything including my dress, the bridesmaids dresses, and the tuxes. There is always a way to do things on a tight budget and have it turn into a dream wedding.

[deleted account]

I have to admit that I had a rather pricey wedding. But, it's what we wanted and we saved up for it for many years. I was not going to start a marriage in debt. I even continued to live at home with my parents so I can save money until I was 24 while teaching full-time. I had assistance from my parents & grandmothers through a trust fund, which I was grateful for. One reason we wanted a grand wedding was because we were moving 2400 miles away shortly after our wedding. We knew that at our wedding, it would be one of the last chances to see some of our friends & family and we wanted that big party send-off. We wanted a formal wedding-our choice. We wanted professional photography with several albums. We wanted luxuries that may seem frivolous. We decided on a casual inexpensive honeymoon so we could make our wedding special for us. In hindsight, yes, there were many things I could have changed to lower the cost of some items. But in the grand scheme of things, our wedding was exactly what we wanted it to be. Paid in full, and not going into debt over it. I wouldn't change a thing :-) Sadly though, there are couples who don't think things through with wedding planning and find themselves severely in financial disaster.

JL - posted on 12/13/2009

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I spent about 1500, my grandparents spent about 1500, and my parents and in laws spent about 2500. The total cost of my wedding was around 5500. I cannot justify spending a large sum of money. I don't see the need in going into a marriage financially strapped and stressed out because the wedding was such a financial extravagence. I mean lets get real most brides and grooms these days pay for their weddings not their parents. As a parent...hell no am I spending that amount on a wedding for my daughter. I would rather spend that money on her education.

Sarah - posted on 12/13/2009

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My wedding cost hundreds not thousands! lol!

I too could never justify spending SO much on one day. Maybe it's because i already had my daughter, the money could be more well spent elsewhere (like on the mortgage! haha!)

I never wanted a huge wedding tho, i just wanted to have a very 'natural' wedding to proclaim my love for Pete. It wasn't about having a fancy wedding at all.



I think it should be about the marriage and not the wedding really. I think it's crazy to half bankrupt yourself over it. If you have huge amounts of money to spare tho....then that's your call i guess! :)

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