The Snip-One Kid Only?

Mrs. - posted on 08/20/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I had my first baby a year ago. It was a surprise as I have suffered from terrible endometriosis since my teens and my docs said I would never get pregnant naturally. My fiance and I have been debating him getting a vasectomy (or the snip as I like to call it) since I got pregnant. Both of us are in our mid-thirties and neither of us ever thought kids was in the picture for us. I mean, we were only together for a very short time before I got preggers so we never in anyway had a need to discuss kids. So, I'm a bit scared to fully commit to 'the snip'. I feel like one kid will be more than enough but I'm wondering if I'll regret letting it happen since once it does there is no guarantee it will be reversible (and with my fertility problems that could make it really difficult). I won't lie though, the idea of never having to worry about another unplanned pregnancy or another condom sounds just lovely. Did any of you stop at one and get your man done? Did you ever regret it? Pros and cons of a one child household would be nice too.

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Rosie - posted on 08/21/2010

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i have 3 kids, but whether you have one kid or 3 you just KNOW when you are done. my husband got snipped after our third boy. i've always longed for a girl. obviously getting snipped would make that impossible, but i know for us financially, and emotionally that we just don't need any more kids, no matter how bad i want a girl. ask yourself do you KNOW? i think most women will always be sad at the thought of no more babies, that's to be expected. but if you just feel deep down that you are done, then do it. if you are still unsure-definitely don't.

Barbara - posted on 08/21/2010

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I know a guy who got one and really, really regrets it. Reversal didn't work for him. I'd say if there's a chance you might regret it, just wait on it a while until you are absolutely sure.

Mrs. - posted on 08/21/2010

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Thanks Sharon for pointing me to the only children group. I did catch the article in Time Mag the other month too. It actually made me feel a bit better about the possibility of just leaving it to one kid.

Hmm, if I had another kid, accidentally, it would be extremely difficult to either have an abortion or give it up. I don't think I could. Not my fiance's child...maybe someone else's but not his. Due to my health issues, I can't use an IUD, it increases flow and with someone with periods as bad as mine-not a good idea. Hormonal stuff messes me up as well so birth control (the pill, or the estrogen IUD) is out as well. Plus, I wouldn't do another pelvic surgery again, I've had 4 for my endo and get my tubes tied would just be counter to my being healthy.

I'm getting closer and closer to just going for the vasectomy option. It's just my fears of regret that are holding me back.

Thanks for the feedback.

Lyndsay - posted on 08/21/2010

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I only have one child and I'm seeing my doctor about getting my tubes tied at the end of this month. For me, I am absolutely 100% certain I do not want any more children (of my own, I want to be a foster parent in future) and I want to completely avoid the possibility of an accidental pregnancy. I would be forced to choose between aborting it, which I probably would, or keeping a baby that I do not want at all.

Now, for you, if you were to get pregnant again would you keep the baby? If you're still wavering on that point then I would say probably go for something a little less intrusive, like an IUD or something, just in case you change your mind in the future.

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I am very happy & proud of my only child. Lots of positives to a small family. I never look at the negatives. I'll post the link to the Moms of Only Children board so you can check it out and read other comments. There's a nice pros & cons thread over there. Time magazine just ran an awesome article highlighting only children. As far as a snip goes, I asked my husband. He said no. Not a big deal anyway. I know my body well enough that if there was an accidental pregnancy, my body would miscarry. I am not sad about that either, and I am perfectly happy with my one child. He is 5 1/2 and in Kindergarten. Well rounded, exposed to many opportunities, has a lot of friends, and he is fortunate to be close in age with his cousins, who he also goes to school with.

Sharon - posted on 08/20/2010

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Sorry. 3 kids here.

I do know several women whose hubbies had the snip. 3 of like 4 or 6 had the vasectomy reversed and all the reversals worked.

I do say that if you are at all unsure - commit to nothing permanent.

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