Things your parents did to you that you would never do to your kids

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/24/2011 ( 44 moms have responded )

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What things did your parents say/do growing up that you hated as a kid that you would NEVER do to your kids? Lets get creative here and NOT write about spanking. Thanks





My parents let me be fearful of grass when I was a baby. I naturally didn't take to it well and my mom thought it was the best thing ever because I didn't need a leash, cage or her attention when at a park because I wouldn't leave the blanket. She told me when I had my kid not to teach it to like grass. I think this is sad.



I was also scared of vacuums around age 2-3 and my parents couldn't keep me in my room at night so they plugged in the vacuum at the end of the hallway and whenever I would sneak out, they would plug in the vacuum while they watched TV. I also think this is sad and would never do this to my kid.



Add to edit: my parents moved us around every 3 months to a year, annually. I NEVER want to move that much ever again.



They very rarely hit me, but used every other fear tactic known to man kind in order to keep me in line. I don't want to scare my kids into obeying. I don't want them to grow up afraid of everything.

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Lady Heather - posted on 06/27/2011

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I will not be an alcoholic and cheat on my spouse? Okay, that was just one of my parents.

I pretty much liked everything my parents did parenting-wise. It was their relationship that needed the work, so my life lesson is to make sure my marriage always remains a priority because a shitty marriage definitely affects the kids.

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Stifler's - posted on 06/28/2011

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my husbands mum moved them around about that often too. they have lived in every suburb of the town we grew up in twice.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/28/2011

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whoop whoop around here is a ghetto/white trash thing you yell out when you're excited about something so I just had to read that about 4 times in order to understand what you were refering to as the boondocks is 'whoop whoop' lmao

my parents moved me almost every 3 months - once a year growing up. Talk about shitty THAT I would never do.......

Melissa - posted on 06/28/2011

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I have never told my children "because I said so". My biggest issue when I was a teen was that I felt my father had no respect for me and my opinion. He just stated that my opinion was not respectable and unless I agreed with him there was nothing more to discuss.

The other thing I will never do is say "do what you think is best" and then punish my kid for not making the decision I would have made. That was my father's definition of independance and maturity. I hated that!

Tammy - posted on 06/27/2011

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I used to get time outs, all alone, outside, in the room next to the garage. I hated being out there alone. It was safe, but I had a wild imagination and I was so scared.
I would never put my child in a time out all alone outside.

Lacye - posted on 06/27/2011

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I will never force my daughter to finish her plate. My stepmother would make me sit at the dinner table for hours until I ate all the food that she put on my plate and she would fix the same amount for me as she would my teenage sister (I'm about 8 years younger than my sister).

I do advocate spanking but I will never use anything besides my hand when I spank. I remember my dad and stepmother spanked me with a leather belt and I would go to school with bruises on my butt and sometimes my back.

I will never favor one child over the other. I only have one child right now but if I ever do, I will never treat them differently. My stepmother would dote on her son (stepbrother) and would even do his homework and then look at me when I ask for help and tell me I could do it on my own and that was the only way I was going to learn anything.

I'm starting to see a pattern here. LOL

[deleted account]

Well, I guess I won't comment any further then, because that, unfortunately for me, was the first thing that popped into my head.

Cheers

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/27/2011

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There's whole communities dedicated to spanking/not spanking. I think we can have 1 discussion where there isn't spanking talk involved. *prays*

[deleted account]

Why am I not allowed to write about spanking? I wanna write about spanking! I'm obsessed with spanking ....

[deleted account]

I never make my son eat food he doesn't want. My father forced my brother to eat onions till he vomited on his plate. Things went downhill from there. Not me. He has to take a taste (and not just a brief touch of the lips). if he doesn't like it, he can have PB&J. I don't go out of my way to cook things he hates but I do like to experiment with new flavors.

[deleted account]

I won't tell my kids that if they don't behave I am going to send them to an orphanage. I won't make them eat everything on their plate and if they don't like something (like sprouts) I will not hide it on their plate or make them eat it - there are things we just don't like. I will not make my daughter have her hair long - my dad insisted I have long hair so when I was about 13 my mom and I cut it shorter slowly over a couple of months, he only noticed because my aunt told me she liked my hair lol.

Kylie - posted on 06/26/2011

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oh and i wont be obsessed with having a clean and tidy house and put cleaning over playing.

Kylie - posted on 06/26/2011

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I wont hit my kids or let myself become so stressed i scream at them. I wont use soap to wash out their mouths and i wont put pepper or sour nail stuff on their fingers if they bite their nails or suck their thumbs.

Desiree - posted on 06/26/2011

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My parents got divorced when I was about 10 they screamed and shouted at each other although the rest of my life and have never spoken a nice word about each other or to each other since exept when my sister passed.
I will never argue with my husband in front of my kids it waits until they are in bed and then it behind closed doors and our voices are never raised to each other.

Amber - posted on 06/25/2011

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Well, my dad was an abusive alcoholic...so...everything he did. He taught me what NOT to do, while my mom showed me what to do.



More specifically, I won't:

-hit them to hurt them, for any reason.

-make them eat foods they don't like, if they try it.

-use food (or lack of) for punishment.

-make them include siblings in outings with friends if they really don't get along.

-use because I said so as a reason for anything.

-lie to them.

-embarrass them for punishment.

-dictate their friends, as long as it doesn't put them in danger.

-make them be friends with my friends kids. They must be polite, but not besties.

-laugh at their faults/pain/difficulties.

Johnny - posted on 06/25/2011

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My father told me that if I wasn't careful getting on and off the escalator that it would swallow me up and I'd be trapped inside it until they unfurled it from the attic or the basement that night. Of course, the other part of the story was that escalators only went in one direction and all in the basement or all in the attic and have to be rewound every night. I was terrified of escalators well into my teens.

There are lots of others. He was really into that. But then again, aside from the escalator one, I didn't actually believe most of them. When my daughter was born, he gave me a book called "Lies to Tell Your Children" full of stuff like that.

As for stuff I won't do, I will not use a bowl to cut my daughter's hair, cut her bangs uber-short or insist that she can not grow long hair. My parents made me wear my hair short until I left home. Ugh.

I also don't force my daughter to clean her plate, use the term "because I said so" or try to tell her that Kraft Dinner is a "healthy" meal.

[deleted account]

Heheheh Elizabeth my daughter will put her hands over my mouth if i start doing that and yells at me to stop. I can't wait until she is a mother because i remember doing this to my mum.

[deleted account]

@shannen, Im not allowed to even mouth the wordssometimes they find that more annoying than my singing!lol

Amanda - posted on 06/25/2011

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i will never say "because im the parent and i say so" i got that alot and never got a serious reason

[deleted account]

Heres the funny part. What will OUR kids say they will never do to theirs?!?!?! My kids are six and four right now, and I think the3 would say "i will never dance and sing(i suck) in the car while my kids are in the car" lol they love it until we stop at a stoplight or when I start singing really loud.

Vera - posted on 06/25/2011

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I almost forgot..
I won't make my kids drink prune juice every day.
I won't make them drink 8 glasses of water every day (or they can't go outside and play - my grandmother made us do this when we visited her every summer gollie it super sucked!) I loved to visit her though she was an awesome grandmother (wish she was still here!!)
I won't make my kids go stay at a family members house they really don't like to be around just because they are family (unless it's an emergency and we have no other option)

I won't make them hold their pet rabbit as I skin it and then later serve it to them for dinner. (I passed out!) Or tell them while they are eating their hamburger - that it was their pet cow. (couldn't eat meat for a while after that one!)

Vera - posted on 06/25/2011

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I won't make my children go to church and sit there for hours (I mean seriously I was bored out of my mind!)

I won't French braid my daughters hair so tight her eyes look funny and ears have moved up an inch (ha ha ha)

I won't make my children wear clothes they despise (not saying I am going to buy the most expensive either but I had to wear these ugly dresses in like the 4th grade ALL the time and used to sneak other clothes to school - so embarrassing!)

Becky - posted on 06/25/2011

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I will never threaten to run away from my family. - My parents were great, but my mom has always struggled with depression and sometimes did some rather irrational things. I'm not even sure she knows I remember them. Of course, our babysitter used to threaten to kill herself while she was babysitting us. We weren't THAT bad! haha
I will never send my kids to boarding school. I didn't hate it, I have a lot of great memories, but growing up away from my parents definitely had an effect on me and it's not something I could do to my kids.
Oh, and I'll never feed my kids cows tongue or heart. Yucko!! Or powdered milk!

[deleted account]

Mines wasnt anything mean my mom did. My husband and I grew up in single and low income homes. We NEVER tell our girls that we cant buy something "because we dont have the money". I grew up hearing this and it was depressing and hard to understand at a young age. We give our kids allowance for chores and good grades, and try to teach them they can havr anything they want with hard work. other than that I had a wonderful childhood and am so thankful for the deep morals and values my mom taught me.

Krista - posted on 06/25/2011

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Hmmm...okay...I will never make my kids sit at the table until bedtime to finish a plate of food they're too full to eat, I will never skip out on their band concerts because it's "not my thing", I will never give them the silent treatment for weeks on end because we had a disagreement, I will never punish them for sitting with their feet on the couch (seriously! I got sent to my room on Christmas Eve!), and I will never make work my life and my children second.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/25/2011

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They didn't teach me not to like grass, they let me be scared of it.

Tania - posted on 06/25/2011

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I will never force my kids to eat. To try yes but to this day if there are peas in my food I will find every single one and pick it out. I HATE peas. My mother would make me sit until they were done. Oh and not to mention creamed corn, kraft dinner, cheeze wiz, and grilled cheese with processed cheese slices. Just writting this makes me gag.

Jenn - posted on 06/25/2011

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How do you teach a baby to not like grass? I'm pretty sure most babies don't like the feel of grass at first (all the babies I've met are like that anyway) - it's not sad, it's perfect! LOL!!! Sorry Nichole - I think your parents were geniuses - with the vacuum thing too LOL!!!!

I honestly can't think of anything that my parents did that I would never do. I find myself saying things that my Mum would say, like "if you were really hungry, you'd have the apple" or I do the spit wipe thing if something is on their face LOL! OK wait - I can only think of one thing - I was a bed wetter as a child (until I was 13!!) and out of frustration and lack of understanding, my parents tried all kinds of things, including punishing me (they only did that a few times though and realized it wasn't working because I didn't do it on purpose). My son is 5 1/2 and still wets the bed a lot, and I will NEVER make him feel bad for it or get angry with him. If he is still doing it in another year or so, I'll do what worked for me - get an eneuresis alarm (if only we had discovered this magical thing before I was 13, I could have enjoyed some things in my childhood that I missed out on.)

Tara - posted on 06/25/2011

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Like most here, I will never force my kids to eat food I know they don't like. Like fat on pork chops, which my dad made me eat.
I will never ignore my children when they are sad. I will not tell them "just deal with it" or "you made your bed, now lay in it." when they come to me about a problem.
I will never withhold affection as punishment.
I will never threaten my children unless I am going to follow through. (my mom used to say threaten some dumb stuff. That we knew she wouldn't follow through on)

Krista - posted on 06/25/2011

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Yep -- another liver-hater here. And I'm with you ladies. I will encourage my children to try foods, and to try them more than once. But, after having tried them multiple times, if they truly, genuinely hate something to the point of gagging, why would I force them to eat it?

I also won't be baptizing my kids or sending them to Sunday school.

And I'll play more with my kids. My mom worked full-time and was so focused on keeping the house perfect that she really didn't have any time to play with us. I'll have a messier house, fewer home-cooked meals, but more fun. :)

Other than that, there's actually not a whole heck of a lot that I would do differently from my mom. She was strict, and I had a very healthy fear of consequences, but I never doubted her love for me.

[deleted account]

I must be one strange woman to you ladies. I love lambs fry and bacon, which is liver, on toast with it's own gravy made from the pan.

Ez - posted on 06/25/2011

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I don't force my daughter to clean her plate, or eat things I *know* she doesn't like. My Dad was a stickler for this. Growing up as one of six with a single mother and not much money will do that to you I guess. I hated peas. Hated them. He made me sit at the table for what felt like hours (was probably only about 1/2hr after everyone else finished) when I was 7 and finish all the peas on my plate. They were cold, and I wound up throwing up. I have never touched them again. I can't even look at them or smell them without gagging. Not something I will be repeating with my child.

Firebird - posted on 06/24/2011

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I would never send my daughter to bed telling her she doesn't deserve to eat. Who says something like that to a 6 year old, especially over something as petty as sibling rivalry? I wouldn't (and don't) force my daughter to eat something she clearly doesn't like. I'd never force any kind of religion on my daughter. I would never walk out of an event that means a lot to my daughter just because there were several dozen people in the room.

It would take less time to tell you things my parents did that I *would* repeat with my own kid, so I'll stop here.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/24/2011

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Brilliant minds think alike :) but in our case, I think it's the screwd up connecting us :P bwaha

Sara - posted on 06/24/2011

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I've always thought anyone who actually LIKES liver must have something wrong with them!!

[deleted account]

" My Mom and Dad forced me to eat some pretty hideous stuff. "

Been there, done that...but SO grateful my parents did not force me to eat the liver! YICK! On the other hand, my brother liked it!

Sara - posted on 06/24/2011

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I will never force my children to eat food they think is disgusting. I tell them they can't judge it by it's looks. They must take a good size bite. Just one. If they don't like it they don't have to eat it. We then offer them a peanut butter sandwich instead. My Mom and Dad forced me to eat some pretty hideous stuff. *shudders at the thought and smell of liver*

Elizabeth - posted on 06/24/2011

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Nichole, you seriously posted this. Seriously. It's just weird because I planned on posting this question myself.

[deleted account]

I'll never force my son to go to Hebrew school, synagogue, or affiliate with any religious institution!

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