To move or not? Boyfriend has son but I'd like us to move 4hrs away...

Veronica - posted on 07/17/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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In a bit of a dilema. Im 5 months pregnant w/ my first child and I've lived in my current city for the last 10 years. My family (mother, father, sister, niece/nephew etc...) all live back home which is 4 hrs away. In other words I dont have any family where Im currently at. Therefore I've been thinking of moving back home so that my baby will grow up with a sense of family; grandparents and other relatives in their lives.Im Hispanic so familiy is a big deal to me.

However......my boyfriend and baby's father already has a 3yr old son in the town we currently live in. He and the boy's mother have joint custody, but I know she won't allow us to take him with us, which I would do in a heartbeat. Boyfriend initally agreed that a move would be good thing, but now he is hesitant b/c he wont see his son as much like we do now (2-3 times a week, if not more). I love the boy and would love for him to be with us, but what about new baby and being around mi familia? Is it more important for boyfriend and son to be near each other or that my baby will grow up with family? I guess I know the answer....but would like some imput pls. Thanks for reading!!! Ronnie

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Veronica - posted on 07/23/2015

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Thank you for responding ladies, BF and I are looking at all angles to decide what's best for all involved. We're definitely considering what yall have to say....thanks!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2015

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Your boyfriend wants to be near his son. He is a good man. Think about it. Your baby daddy, and his son are your family also. Moving will put a strain on father son relationship, and perhaps your relationship. You are more than welcome to move, but think of how this will affect him and his son. That is a big deal. Your family are all adults. They can drive the 4 hours to see you, or you them. This child cannot do that so easily.

Cutemommy - posted on 07/21/2015

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They are separated and sadly that is the way it always is going to be. You are only moving 4 hours away that means you can pick him up for weeks at a time or months at a time. You can't always let that be top priority when making decisions. yes, it will be part of the decision making but he as the father can still make a way to see his son. Also it's not up to her to allow your boyfriend to take him because he has joint custody. weigh everything out like jobs, help, family, housing, his son, his family and things like that and really think about what is right for both of you guys

Allison - posted on 07/19/2015

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I understand your wanting to be close to hour family but you have to remember this little boy will be your baby's brother and that could be an amazing relationship to have for him. Also if your bfs family is there you have to consider both sides. I'm sure you will see your family fairly often if they're only 4 hours away. Mine are 26 hours away and I still manage to Skype every week and seen them 2-4 times a year. I'm not an expert on the give and take as I'm a single mom but if the little boys mom is single too that could be a huge deal for her aswell. Your bf needs to decide for himself either way but both kids should have equal priority weather he's with their mom or not. Also consider the legal custody stuff he would probably have to do to move. I hope this helps and doesn't sound too biased, as I said I've never had to deal with another parent being around.

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