"To Spank or Not to Spank"

Lucy - posted on 07/01/2011 ( 38 moms have responded )

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That is the question that child psychologist John Rosemond answers so well in his book of the same title.

Here is a link to a one page summary of what he says in the book.
http://www.psychpage.com/family/library/...

If you like Rosemond and his lots of love, no-nonsense style of parenting, you'll like this. If you are the person who is convinced that no form of physical contact is appropriate to discipline then you probably won't agree with Rosemond or anyone.

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Jodi - posted on 07/01/2011

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Hitting is hitting. End of story. It doesn't matter what you call it, it's still hitting.



If my husband swatted me because of something I did that he didn't approve of, that would be abuse. Tell me why it is any different if he does it to one of our children? That is something I truly don't comprehend.

Jodi - posted on 07/01/2011

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I'm going to be REALLY honest here and say I actually find it sick that someone will even purchase a book on how to spank in the right way, let alone write one. There are so many books out there focusing on varieties of more positive discipline, why purchase one to teach you how to spank (inflict pain on) children "correctly" (so to speak)?



I just don't understand that at ALL.

Lacye - posted on 07/01/2011

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I think for a while, the spanking debate needs to be put on hold. It has been overly debated. As a matter of fact, I started a debate when I first came into this community with this exact same name. The people who do spank and the ones who don't aren't going to agree on this subject. neither side is going to even flinch and change the others' mind.

Ez - posted on 07/01/2011

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Schenk I would normally agree with you completely. You know I hate it when newbies get flamed. But when you start a thread like this, then get snarky and attack when the first two responses disagree, you're asking for trouble :-/

Katherine - posted on 07/01/2011

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I CANNOT believe you're bringing this up again! Seriously????
Don't you know when to quit? It's been beaten TO DEATH.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

38 Comments

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Lady Heather - posted on 07/01/2011

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So the other one got locked and you decided to bring it over here instead? You will find a lot of the same ladies over here so...I don't get it.

Also, I'm too immature for more talk of rods, so let's keep it to a minimum.

[deleted account]

I think she was TRYING to argue that it's good for parents because it teaches respect and constitutes a well behaved child.

I THINK that was the point she was trying to make.

[deleted account]

Stress relief?

Sorry, I am NOT serious, but even as someone not opposed to spanking.... I can't figure how it is actually GOOD for parents. I don't believe there is anything wrong w/ using it as one of your discipline/punishment tools, but GOOD for parents? Yeah, that part is stumping me.....

Jodi - posted on 07/01/2011

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And yes Emma, I have asked that question several times, and she still hasn't answered that.

Jodi - posted on 07/01/2011

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She didn't get stomped on when she came here. She had a couple of responses she didn't like, and went on the attack herself. That's far from being stomped on.

And I didn't invite "her" here specifically to debate spanking. I suggested that I had enjoyed debating the topic with EVERYONE in the thread, and invited them to come here if they are interested in debating a variety of parenting topics.

Dana - posted on 07/01/2011

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Oh no, I agree with you there Erin. I was just speaking to the fact that she's "going all over CoM". Can't really accuse her of that if she got an invite.

Lacye - posted on 07/01/2011

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You know, I had never heard the word "snarky" until I started coming into DM and I'm starting to really like the word. Snarky, he he he. :D

Dana - posted on 07/01/2011

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Yes, several for PBS, one for DM - to debate topics. lol



Lady gets an invite, then gets stomped on. Even though I disagree with her completely. ;)

Jenni - posted on 07/01/2011

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I think a few of us posted links to PBS. We like to take advantage of these topics ;)

[deleted account]

I'm not touching the spanking debate, but remember my comment in one of the threads about the chick on 5 years probation for swatting her kid?

Yep... I just noticed another bruise on my knee (the opposite one from the last bruises).... no clue where it came from.

The spanking debates need to die for at least 6 months though, so that's all I'm going to add here. ;)

Dana - posted on 07/01/2011

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Didn't you post a link to DM Jodi? Maybe that's why she came here with it?

Charlie - posted on 07/01/2011

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Your rights as a parent ends where their rights as a human being begins . Nuff said.

Now please someone drag this horse carcuss outta here.

Firebird - posted on 07/01/2011

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Just saw the link, nevermind it is the same chick. Are you serious Lucy? Can't you give it a rest already?

Firebird - posted on 07/01/2011

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I don't think that's what Katherine means Erin, it's just that there have been at least 6 NEW spanking threads started in the last week, in just the few communities that I'm in, never mind all the others that Katherine has probably joined.

Katherine - posted on 07/01/2011

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Yes, this is the second thread she's started on the EXACT same subject. The first was in the welcome page.
Hold for link.

Ez - posted on 07/01/2011

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Am I missing something Katherine? Has the OP been trolling this all over COM or something?

[deleted account]

:::raises hand::: In favor of putting this topic to rest already. There must be hundreds of "spanking" threads in the archives for your reading pleasure.

Ez - posted on 07/01/2011

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Lucy, just a word of advice. Cut the attitude unless you want this thread to spiral into what Sharon C-F described. Nobody was disrespectful towards you or attacked you personally. If you can't conduct yourself appropriately on a debate board, this is not the place for you.

Jenni - posted on 07/01/2011

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Lucy, I think it's pretty safe to say that those against spanking are as unmoveable on the subject as you are unmoveable on subject for spanking. I see no difference and there is no need for personal attacks.

Jodi - posted on 07/01/2011

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Really? That's how you read those responses? Do you have dyslexia, because I am pretty sure that's not what was said.



You posted on a debate forum. What did you expect?

Lucy - posted on 07/01/2011

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And there's two more typical answers from the "I'm right and I am the authority of all knowledge" crew you mention.

Ez - posted on 07/01/2011

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Like Jodi said, spanking/smacking/tapping/popping is all hitting. It doesn't matter what psychology is applied to it, or how it is justified. So you're right. Those of us who have a moral objection to the use of physical force as discipline will not agree with anyone writing a 'how to' guide to inflict pain on a child.

Lucy - posted on 07/01/2011

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You are absolutely right Sharon. I feel strongly about keeping the conversation flowing because every day a new mom will come here trying to decide what or how to rear a child. Of course the first answer is Love. But we need to Love mom's on both sides of the debate too, the mom that chooses to spank and the mom who doesn't. Both are right and have the right raise their kids as differently as they want.
I see a lot of mom's here being very vocal that spanking is abuse. period. no discussion. and that's not fair or right.
And you are so right about children being different, even within the same family, I know many parents who will say one child was so calm and easy and never caused a minutes diturbance and the next kid was a terror from the moment the woke up. So obviuosly you handle kids with what works.

[deleted account]

Welcome Lucy. This issue has been over-debated and strong opinions on both sides of the issue. It usually ends of being an attacking and non-productive thread that tedns to get locked. What works for one family does not work for a different family. Every kid is different and responds to different forms of discipline.

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