Toddlers and Tiaras

[deleted account] ( 32 moms have responded )

Well, the title is self-explanatory for this debate, I think. Basically, what are your thoughts on kiddy beauty pageants - and I mean the extensive ones, where they throw gobs of make-up and sequins on a pre-school girl and show her off to thousands of people for pretty much her entire childhood?

Personally, it disgusts me. I saw a commercial today where a little girl, barely five years old, pranced on stage wearing a fur coat and a gold-sequined dress, her face all painted up with smokey eye shadow and bright red lipstick. She stood on stage and twisted her little butt, throwing the fur coat off to expose fake boobs that had been sewn into her dress. What mother does that to her child???

I heard that people were trying to make the switch to more natural pageants, and I'm all for that. But all this make-up and "glam"? I would never do that to my baby girl.

So yeah. Your thoughts on those kinds of beauty pageants?

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Jodi - posted on 12/21/2010

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I hate that show and I hate the concept. I find it really creepy that people do that to their kids to be honest. I am absolutely NOT a fan of pageants. Thankfully it isn't a common thing in Australia. I do apologise in advance if anyone here does the pageants with their kids, but seriously, is it about the parent, or about the kid? It's NEVER about the kid.

[deleted account]

Another thing, displaying young girls in that way, is bound to attract pedophiles, we're suppose to be protecting our children.

Becky - posted on 12/21/2010

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I think it's gross. I have a "friend" from a mommy-board whose daughter, who is the same age as my son (2 1/2) has been doing pageants since she was an infant. She started out with natural ones, but now puts her in the glitz ones too. All I can think of when I see her pictures is Jon Benet Ramsey. And she puts her in them even when she's really sick, and then is all depressed when she doesn't win. It's really disturbing. She's an adorable little girl, but I think these pageants just set girls up to have not so adorable personalities and issues in the future.
Definitely not something I would do to my daughter!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/21/2010

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It really hurts my heart and my soul to see these kids being treated like show dogs. I know this may offend those that are all for it, but it offends me to see a little girl lose her childhood innocense becouse mommy and daddy want to show off how much makeup and hairspray they can use on their 5 year old. Also the prices of the gowns could put a nice down payment on a home. Unfortunately these kids will defend what they are doing becouse it is all that they know. They are gonna grow up so fast anyway, please let your baby have a childhood first. Right now is not the time to be judge for beauty,...that will come in junior high, and will feel like it goes on for the rest of your life. Why put the pressure on such a young child for perfection that doesn't even exist?

[deleted account]

talk about setting a kid up for life with eating disorders and self-image issues. I think it is absolutely disgusting. but then again, don't we all want to look like barbie...NOT!

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[deleted account]

I saw one episode of that show where a mother took her daughter to a full-glitz pageant. First off the daughter was the one who loved doing pageants the mom was a bit of a tomboy, second neither one agreed with the full make-up, fake tan, eyelashes, teeth, hair etc. So this brave little girl went out with all the trained poodles and should have won she was the only genuinely pretty one there. She was a gorgeous little sweetie wearing a dress that represented what a little girl should be wearing among a swarm of false-looking britney spears wannabe brats and plastic looking little girls who didn't even want to be there. Despite all the glitz money can buy she was still cuter than the rest of them just on her own. Get this she didn't win because "When we say full glitz we mean full glitz a pretty face wont get far" they were offended that a little girl had the guts to go out there looking her genuine cute self. The funniest thing is that they thought her not winning would teach her some sort of lesson lol the little girl and her mom just said that they had fun and thats all that matters. Ha take that toddlers and tiaras! I personally think little girl beauty pageants are sweet so long as the girls want to participate in them, enjoy themselves, and get the right message. It should encourage good self-esteem not teach a child you're only as pretty as your coaches make you to be. This full glitz crap makes me sick to my stomach its horrible and not entertaining at all to watch.

[deleted account]

I can't understand why moms would want to put their babies through the stress. I decided to pay more attention to that commercial I was talking about in the original post, and one of the moms in the commercial was in the process of waxing her daughter's eyebrow. She ripped a little wax sheet thing off the baby's eyelid and she started bawling.

How is that ever right? Bitch oughta know that shit hurts but she's gonna do that to her baby anyway? Really makes me mad.

Mrs. - posted on 12/21/2010

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Here's the thing though. The kiddie ones are just a cash grab. The adult ones, which actually have scholarships attached to them, they really have nothing to do with the little girl ones. Besides, the adult ones are for adults looking to go to college...the kids don't really have much choice.

The saddest thing, is how the parents actually think this is a leg up into the "entertainment industry". Having made a living in the entertainment industry for over a decade, I don't think I've ever met one pageant person. They are really looked down upon in the legit professional world, even in the children actors world. It's just not at all what these moms think. But, they still take their money.

Nikkole - posted on 12/21/2010

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WOW the little girls in the police and fireman outfits, THAT IS HORRIBLE it looks like what i would wear to a Halloween party or if i were a stripper :P

[deleted account]

@Sherri

While i do agree that the scholarship aspect of it is great. Its also teaching these young girls that you get rewarded for dressing provocative and acting sexy. Basically the child wins a reward for being sexually exploited. I would not want my daughter to feel she went to collage because of her looks.

Much more self esteem boosting ways are available to win scholarships, sports, extra curricular activities, some jobs offer them to their student employees, and of course intelligence. I was actually looking at some of the pictures of costumes. Its horrible what parents are getting their children to wear.http://thelaughingstork.com/2009/08/live... the last pictures, they look like grown women dressed up for Halloween.

Morgan - posted on 12/21/2010

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I think all the make up and fake teeth is going way to far,
I would never enter my daughter into one but the more natural ones dont bother me too much.

Sherri - posted on 12/21/2010

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I actually will be in the minority here. I actually don't mind them and I think as they get older it is an amazing way to win scholarships and have a lot of their college paid for.

Shauna - posted on 12/21/2010

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And on that show yes i think its the parents that go overboard. The child is taught to like it and thinks they need to get the princess tiara. Thats all i see, i do watch it occasionaly b/c it fasinates me how some of these women act, and how they stay home and spend their husbands money on this crap, while the poor father usually sits in the background being ignored and having to put up with it. But there are a few weirdo dads out there into it too.

Shauna - posted on 12/21/2010

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If my child was old enough to ask to be in them and want to be in them, then yes i would allow it. However it would not rule our life, i would not strain to make her the best, just present her as she is. But otherwise im pretty much against it.

Nikkole - posted on 12/21/2010

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@Julianne i totally agree with you and it makes girls think they have to look like Barbie's and be fake to be beautiful

[deleted account]

I think its a breeding ground for prostitutes. Seriously caked on makeup, fake boobs skimpy dresses and doing provocative dances? Sounds like a strip club.

Stifler's - posted on 12/21/2010

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I hate the show, every time I see ads for a show like that all I see is the kids wailing.

Krista - posted on 12/21/2010

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I have no problem with pageants. If the kid wants to be in the pageant and if their innocence remains in tact. Plopping down thousands on fake eyelashes, spray tans and flappers is just ridiculous to me. You're trying to make a child look old.
If the pageant is for natural looking kids, I'm all for it.

Onto the crazy moms of these pageants. Holy hell in a crazy psycho hand bag. Some of these women are freaking bloody abusive. "If you don't win, I'm gonna do this, this and this to you."
SERIOUSLY!? I mean, SERIOUSLY! Let the damn kid be a kid and do what they freaking want and if they lose, they lose. You can teach them the lesson of "it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game".

My BIGGEST problem with pageants is the parents.

Bonnie - posted on 12/21/2010

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I don't agree with it at all. Children have a right to be children. That is way too much makeup and pressure for children that young. They don't decide, their parents do and put the kids through a lot and make them cry.

Nikkole - posted on 12/21/2010

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I hate that show! I saw some little girls dancing like they were little hoochies! And the fake teeth (flippers is what they call em i think) and makeup,and hair, and the clothes they wear cost more than MY wedding dress! I can see like local pageants IF your kids wanna be in them but some moms are just living through there children and they are just stupid when it comes to making there kids prance around! Most the kids on there look like adults and they have pacifiers in there mouths and are crying that there tired or they wanna go home and there mothers basically tell them to be quiet and suck it up! Why would anyone want to spend $1000's of dollars on little outfits makeup people,hairstylist, training for dance routines, and god knows what else!

[deleted account]

then again rebecca...maybe if I had done pagaents I'd have grown up and married a rich man! damn my parents for not introducing me to that!!!

[deleted account]

I see it as children are not set up to value beauty over abilities when they homeschool or participate in sports. when children participate in pagaents huge value is put on looks. should preschool and younger kids really be taught to value appearances so strongly? sure, I don't want my kids to think it is ok to walk around looking like filthy slobs that smear dirt all over their faces and roll around in mud with medusa tangled hair, but I don't want them thinking gobs of make-up and hairspray and prancing and phirouetting are valuable assets. I don't want my daughter to strive for that and I don't want my son thinking that is what women are important for. childhood is way too short.

Amanda - posted on 12/21/2010

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I don't really care for them either way. If parents want to prance their children around in gobs and gobs of makeup and pretend that they are actually little grown ups than who's to say they can't? It's kind of like how some people don't approve of homeschooling...or their child playing a physical sport...it all comes down to what the parent wants I guess. I don't see how a mother would WANT to put their child through something like this but I'm not the one to say they can't. Personally I wouldn't. And I don't watch the shows or support it either...

Mrs. - posted on 12/21/2010

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My fav quote from that show...

The MC is saying all the kids names and what they want to do when they grow up (dance, actor, doctor, etc..)

"Amber is 5 years old and when she grows up she wants to marry a rich man."

Pretty much sums up the purpose of putting your daughter through that shit.

[deleted account]

plus competitions are creepy in most forms, even in play IMO. non-competitive play fosters healthy attitudes toward ourselves and others. dog eat dog world but doesn't have to be. we make it that way. time to change.

Barb - posted on 12/21/2010

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I have to admit, i watched the show once, kinda like being fascinated by the train wreck thing, you know? Morbid curiosity.

The show i watched followed 3 kids and their families' around.

First was a mother with a 5 year old daughter and a 12 month son. The daughter she had to bribed every step of the way. Her mom would buy her stuff and say "you can't have it until you do, such and such" The baby of course was just dressed up and manipulated by mom and had no clue of what was going on. The 5 year old hated it and screamed and threw tantrums. It was obvious this was all for mom and not for the kids. Even the dad hated it but couldn't stand up to mom. It was very much like watching a heroin addict on that show "intervention"

The second parent, the mom did not want to do pageants, but apparently the daughter had seen them somehow, i don't recall how, maybe an aunt or grandma took her, not sure. But the little girl LOVED doing them and was always excited about doing it. She would always remind her mom "c'mon mom, it's time to get my hair done." or "Mom, i've been working on my routine, do you want to see it?" And it was obvious this was all the little girls doing and mom was just supporting what the little girl wanted to do. As if it was soccer, or gymnastics or some other competition.

The third was much like the first, it was the parents that wanted it, only it was the father that was obsessed with it and you were just left wondering which scene he was going to come out of the closet in.

I was glad i watched it for that one show to see there are children that actually WANT to do it and to see that one little girl enjoying herself. But it does seem the majority of the kids are up there doing it for their parents and i think if the judges see that, they should be disqualified. I also don't think they should have competitions until the children are 4 or 5 years old. Old enough to say if they want to do it or not.

Maybe a compromise would be younger children could be in photo competitions, just not pageant competitions

[deleted account]

I'm not even a fan of the "natural" pageants. My niece does those and is the Tiny Miss in our town. At age 4-5 she wears a crown to town events and rode in an open top convertible in the Christmas parade. That in itself is not bad, it's the people, "Oh, how pretty you are!" The response, "Thank you, I know!" as she prances off. She is very pretty. But she's much more than that. I fear that her self-worth will be tied up her looks, not the other fabulous aspects of her personality and talents.

Tah - posted on 12/21/2010

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for goodness sake let a child be a child, put them in dance, gymnastics, why are they dressed up, slathered in make-up shaking and twisting their little bums and fake boobs...come on....it's horrid, i can't even make myself watch it...

Stifler's - posted on 12/21/2010

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I'm not into it at all lol not that there is much of that going on in this town

[deleted account]

I think it's more popular on the coasts than in the central zone, where I live, but not sure. California, New York, and there was a fictitious movie about pageants in Wisconsin, but they were teenagers. Like I said, though, not sure where they're usually held. All I know is there aren't too many publicized ones in Arkansas, haha.

Louise - posted on 12/21/2010

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I agree Jamie I hate it and refuse to watch the programmes. It is not widely done in England as we tend to frown upon it but it does go on. I hate to see little girls dressed like this with so much make-up on their face. Vile. I did see a programme a few years ago where the mother paid a fortune for a set of teeth for her 6 year old as her front teeth were missing. For gods sake if these mums wanted a bloody Barbie doll they should of bought one. Your childhood is very short what is wrong with letting little girls be little girls, go out and play mud pies, climb trees and bake cakes. Why do these mums push their daughters into being walking manakins. I am sure alot of you American mums will disagree as it seems quite popular over there and that is your right but for me I would sooner watch paint dry.

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