Twin Brothers, Wyatt And Jonas, Are Now Brother And Sister

Jodi - posted on 12/14/2011 ( 22 moms have responded )

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Parents, how would you feel if one of your twins boys decided to become a girl?





When Wyatt and Jonas were born, their father was thrilled. Wayne looked forward to the day when he could hunt deer with his boys in the Maine woods. The family lived in Orono, near the University of Maine campus, where Wayne is the director of safety and environmental management. They had no preparation for what would come next. When Wyatt was 4, he asked his mother: “When do I get to be a girl?’’ He told his father that he hated his penis and asked when he could be rid of it. Both father and son cried. When first grade started, Wyatt carried a pink backpack and a Kim Possible lunchbox.



His parents had no idea what was going on. They had barely heard the term “transgender.’’ Baffled, they tried to deflect Wyatt’s girlish impulses by buying him action figures like his brother’s and steering him toward Cub Scouts, soccer, and baseball. When the boys were 5, Kelly and Wayne threw a “get-to-know-me’’ party for classmates and parents. Wyatt appeared beaming at the top of the stairs in a princess gown, a gift from his grandmother. Kelly whisked him off and made him put on pants. Though she and Wayne were accustomed to his girly antics, they were afraid of what others might think.



Kelly and Wayne didn’t look at it as a choice their child was making. “She really is a girl,’’ Kelly says, “a girl born with a birth defect. That’s how she looks at it.’’ After Wyatt began to openly object to being a boy, his mother started doing research on transgender children. There was little out there; it seemed they would have to find their way largely on their own. During those early years, while Kelly was doing her research, Wayne was hoping that this was no big deal, that this was a stage Wyatt just had to go through.



“I felt it had nothing to do with how they would grow up,’’ he says. But as they grew older, his concern grew. “I feared the unknown,’’ he says. In fourth grade, Wyatt started using “Nicole’’ as a name, and many classmates were calling him “Nikki.’’ The next year, the family went to court and had the name legally changed to Nicole.



To Kelly, it seemed the next logical step. Family discussions merely centered around what the name would be. In the end, Nicole chose it. “I believed in Nicole,’’ her mother says. “She always knew who she was.’’ Wayne was nervous. Could he call his son Nicole? As usual, he relied on his wife’s instincts. “I have to tell you, Kelly’s the leader in our family,’’ he says. “Both she and Nicole are extremely strong-willed, and I went with the flow.’’ At first, though, he couldn’t bring himself to use the new name. An Air Force veteran and former Republican, he realizes now he was grieving the loss of a son. “But once you get past that, I realize I never had a son,’’ he says.



Nicole’s final step on her journey to womanhood would be gender reassignment surgery. Doctors generally won’t perform it until the age of consent, which is 18. No hospitals in New England perform such surgery, says Spack. The nearest that do are in Montreal and Philadelphia.



Nicole says she’s excited about the idea of surgery, though a bit worried about the results – “and maybe the pain, too.’’ While she’s interested in boys, she has expressed fear that “nobody is ever going to love me.’’ She has gone on weekend retreats sponsored by the Trans Youth Equality Foundation and to summer camp for transgender children, where she developed her first crush on a boy.



Over the years, the family has become close to several adult transsexuals, and Nicole has seen that some have found happy marriages. “She says she does feel better about it,’’ Kelly says, “but still wonders if she ever met a boy who falls for her, and then found out that she was trans, if he would still like her, or say awful things as he skedaddled out the door.’’



Nicole knows there is a long road ahead, but she feels she’s on the right path. “Obviously my life is not going to be as easy as being gender-conforming, but there are perks like being able to get out there and do things that will benefit the [transgender] community,’’ she says. “I think everything’s going to turn out pretty well for me.’’ For now, at least, life feels more normal to the Maines family.



http://bossip.com/509883/twin-brothers-w...



Ok, so I just copy and pasted. I am tired, it's late, but I just saw this story and I think it is interesting and inspiring at the same time. What a beautiful girl, both inside AND out :)



So I didn't REALLY have a debate topic in mind, but I was interested in sharing the story if you had missed it and sharing thoughts.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jessie - posted on 12/18/2011

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I think the truly sad thing is some people don't understand their own religion well enough to know that a transgender individual in no way contradicts their beliefs. There are perfectly reasonable ways to theologically explain being transgendered, without having to ostracize a group of people you are afraid to confront. I am very tired of a radical few hijacking Christianity in order to further their own agendas. I do strongly believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I draw the line at bigotry, especially bigotry in the name of Jesus Christ. I am afraid to tell you that if you believe you will answer for your sins on judgement day, these ignorant and hateful claims will also need to be answered for. Please, everyone, don't judge Christianity on the basis of ignorant bible bangers.

Krista - posted on 12/18/2011

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Shyla, I appreciate your effort to change the very fabric of reality in order to suit your religious beliefs, but it just doesn't work.

And you never answered my question. If someone had taken your brain when you were a baby, and put it in a boy's body, do you think you'd feel like a girl or like a boy?

It's not a tough question, really.

And if you think your god does never makes mistakes, then I would urge you to do a Google image search for "severe birth defects". Don't do it if you're within an hour of eating, though. And ask yourself, "If God doesn't make mistakes, then doesn't that mean that he deliberately decided to put that baby's intestines on the outside of his body?" And maybe you want to stop and think about why a wonderful, loving deity would do such a thing.

[deleted account]

Just because you do not believe in God does not mean that you will not have to face him in the judgement day.
I can say I don't believe in earthquakes but saying I don't believe in them does not keep me from being affected by them.
------
One huge difference. I can prove the existence of earthquakes without being dead first. So not a real good example. You may be perfectly content thinking as you do but it doesn't make it true.

[deleted account]

I enjoy how people think it's their religious right to insult a child. Tha'ts their method of tolerance.

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Jessie - posted on 12/19/2011

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Jesus loves it when you call people names. He thinks to himself, 'and this is why my blood was given as sacrifice, so that someday those claiming to love me can burn the non believers in online forums.'

Krista - posted on 12/19/2011

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Can I just reiterate, yet again, how much I utterly LOATHE it when people get so offended at being disagreed with, that not only do they leave the thread, but they delete all of their posts? It's maddening.

Krista - posted on 12/18/2011

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The thing is, it's sad, really. There are a LOT of people out there like Shyla, who insist upon denying any fact that contradicts with their beliefs, no matter how many mental gymnastics they have to go through.

If Shyla admitted that Nicole WAS born a girl into a boy's body, then she would have to admit that yes, sometimes her god does make mistakes. Or that he's randomly cruel.

Either of those assertions are in a direct contradiction to the beliefs around which she bases her very existence. Her beliefs are her foundation. So any facts that threaten that foundation must be quickly dealt with, explained away, and denied vigorously.

I just think it's a shame that people like Shyla are so scared and angry at anything that might poke holes in their beliefs, that they're not worried about hurting innocents like Nicole, in their haste to make the entire world fit into THEIR philosophy.

Krista - posted on 12/18/2011

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No, Shyla. You don't get it.

If someone had taken your brain at birth, and put it inside of a boy's body, would you emotionally and mentally feel like a boy?

No.

Gender is in the BRAIN, not in the genitals.

Nicole is very much a girl. She was simply born into a boy's body.

I don't know why this is so damned difficult for people to comprehend.

Krista - posted on 12/15/2011

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@Harbor: There's a more in-depth article here: http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/a...

It describes how Nicole was accepted and doing just fine at school, until...

"When fifth grade started, Wyatt was gone. Nicole showed up for school, sometimes wearing a dress and sporting shoulder-length hair. She began using the girls’ bathroom. Nikki’s friends didn’t have a problem with the transformation; there were playdates and sleepovers.

“They said, ‘It was about time!’ ’’ Nicole says. She was elected vice president of her class and excelled academically.

But one day a boy called her a “faggot,’’ objected to her using the girls’ bathroom, and reported the matter to his grandfather, who is his legal guardian. The grandfather complained to the Orono School Committee, with the Christian Civic League of Maine backing him. The superintendent of schools then decided Nicole should use a staff bathroom.

“It was like a switch had been turned on, saying it is now OK to question Nicole’s choice to be transgender and it was OK to pursue behavior that was not OK before,’’ Wayne says. “Every day she was reminded that she was different, and the other kids picked up on it.’’

[deleted account]

What a great story! I applaud these parents for embracing their daughter and allowing her to be who she needed to be. So many children in this same situation suffer through their childhood, terrified to go to their parents. This is fantastic, what a wonderful family.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/15/2011

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@ Krista "It just irks me that ONE intolerant kid (raised by one intolerant adult...gee, what a coincidence!) had to go and ruin everything. "

What are you referring to??

Becky - posted on 12/15/2011

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I applaud the parents! It's great they were able to recognize and support their child in this. It certainly doesn't sounds like their "son" made a decision to be a girl. I honestly can't say how I would react given this situation.

Sal - posted on 12/15/2011

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It is a great story I friend of mind recently told me her brother was born her sister and I am so proud to call her my friend she spoke of how she was relieved when sister made the decision to live as a man as her happiness was far more important than social response and that while their mother and sister feel it is against their christian values my friend just accepts her brother and even used the same family name he changed to for her son she said does miss her sister sonetines when she looks at old photos and childhood stories get told but her brother Is the same soul

Denikka - posted on 12/14/2011

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Awesome story, good for her and GREAT on her parents0
.
But the comments on the story....just sicken me. It doesn't affect you in anyway. Shut up people and be happy that someone has found a way to make themselves happy. Maybe you should do the same instead of beating down a child XP

I'm glad she was able to make these decisions so early in life. With hormones, it makes it SO much easier to make the physical transition. Can you imagine how much more difficult it would be AFTER puberty? Hormones can only do so much, once you physically change, that's it. Especially in a situation of male to female, you WANT to keep as much of a feminine form as possible. It's fantastic that her parents listened to her.
If it were my child, I hope I would be strong enough to be able to do the same, without judgement or anger. In theory, I think I would. But you never know until you're actually there.

Krista - posted on 12/14/2011

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That's a beautiful story. Nicole is so lucky to have such awesome parents. It just irks me that ONE intolerant kid (raised by one intolerant adult...gee, what a coincidence!) had to go and ruin everything.

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