Tyler Clementi Suicide

?? - posted on 10/06/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )




I'm sure everyone has heard the headlines of Tyler, who committed suicide by jumping off the GW bridge after his room mate broadcasted an intimate encounter with another man all over the internet. The video 'outed' Tyler publicly without his knowledge, without his permission, without any regard to his desire to never want to make his homosexuality made public, ever.

The room mate, Dharun Ravi, and another student, Molly Wei, have been charged with Invasion of Privacy and have been released on bail.

The room mate posted on Twitter: "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."

He then streamed the video online and he unsuccessfully attempted to do the same thing a few days later.

When Tyler found out, he posted on his facebook "going to jump off the GW bridge. Sorry."

Do you think that these two students are being wrongly charged?

Do you think they should be charged with worse?

Do you think that this is a hate crime?


Krista - posted on 10/06/2010




Stuff like this makes me wish we could bring back the stocks -- let those assholes be publicly shamed and have passers-by spit in their faces for awhile. It might make them feel 1/100th of what that poor kid felt.

JuLeah - posted on 10/06/2010




I don't think charging any one with a crime and sending them to jail ever makes a situation better.

It is a hate crime - meaning, it is based on, well, not hate maybe, but apathy - complete lack of caring - complete lack of thought.

Can you charge a person with stupid and indifferent?

I guess my point is, punishment doesn't work. It doesn't teach anything.

These kids can learn to understand what they did, the pain they caused - for the family of this young man, for the people who love him, for the young man himself.

They can be required to participate in community education programs, teaching others about bulling, teasing, what is okay to post and what is not okay, respect, honor, kindness ......

They can teach younger kids how to not do what they did. They can work with young (mostly men) who are at risk of taking their life - they can learn the warning signs and teach others, they can learn the warning signs and work with youth at risk (learn what to do)

They can spend a good part of the next many years in an effort to make this right, make the world better .... do the good Tyler will not now be able to do, but might have.

BUT, the kid took his life. That was his choice in the end. He has to own the fact that he made that choice. There are help lines, there are prevention hotlines, there were people he might have called.

He was able to reach out enough to post on fb.

So, while I think the young men who took the video ought to be held accountable, I don't think Tyler's choices can be overlooked.

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

April - posted on 10/06/2010




no they're not being wrongly charged. yes they should be charged with worse. no it's not a hate crime. it was a boredom crime. if it were hate...the roommate would have said bad things about homosexuality, etc...

?? - posted on 10/06/2010




I agree with you that charging them with any specific law won't make anything better and I also think having them participate in education and informational programs would be appropriate.

But leaving it at invasion of privacy really does seem to undermine the fact that these grown, adult, otherwise 'responsible' people chose to do something that caused so much pain and suffering to someone that it caused him to make the choice of ending his life.

Tyler would still be alive, and would never have made that choice if it weren't for the actions of his room mate.

That can't be ignored, as much as Tyler making that choice can't be ignored.

?? - posted on 10/06/2010




He chose to kill himself because he felt he had no other choice. The actions of two very immature and pathetic human beings caused this person to feel that he had no other choice. They caused him to die in an indirect manner.

People don't choose to accidently run over people in their vehicle while speeding, but they get charged with manslaughter. People don't choose to cause the death of other human beings in many situations, but they do, and they are charged with murder, manslaughter, and other various charges.

(I'm not saying I think they should be charged with manslaughter - I am just pointing out something that is plausible.)

I can't imagine what the room mate and other person were thinking, but I can't even fathom the thought of broadcasting another persons personal life all over the internet in such a manner without knowing that it's wrong and not going to end well.

They're adults, in college, they NEED to be held responsible for their actions. They aren't just "kids being kids." They weren't just "having some fun with the guy." They purposely chose to take someone else's life into their own hands and expose a very intimate and personal detail to the world, without asking, knowing or even understanding the possibility that doing so would be harmful to that person.

Invasion of privacy does not seem like nearly enough.

[deleted account]

I don't think thye should be charged with more because they didn't push him off the bridge, he CHOSE to jump. It does not excuse the behavior of the other two but what else should they be charged with?

their actions are definitely not right but I think that living with the guilt is already quite a bit.

A hate crime? No, Stupid? Without a doubt

Kimberly - posted on 10/06/2010




It's hard to answer these questions not knowing what their frame of mind was when they decided to do something so idiotic. They're in college so you'd assume they have half a brain. Invasion of privacy seems to fit the actual crime. I'm not sure what else they could be charged with but the media with make an example out of them. I think they thought it was funny. Causing Tyler to commit suicide most likely never even entered their minds. Why or how they thought they could get away with impunity was just ignorant. Again, without knowing their histories of interactions with other gays, it's hard to tell if this was a hate crime. Hypothetically, if it was a hate crime then, yes, they should get wayyyyyyy worse punishment.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms