UGH!!!!!!!! (RANT ALERT)

C. - posted on 10/22/2010 ( 42 moms have responded )

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Ok, so just a little background on this whole thing before I begin.. We first moved to HI in Nov. 2008. My husband had already been here a few months and met a few people. He had stayed over at this particular person's house many times b/c they had become like family. He was always watching their kids and staying for dinner, etc.. Well we come along. The very first step I took out of the airport, this lady gave me a nasty look (they picked us up at the airport. I could just tell she didn't like me by the look in her eyes). Anyway, for several months she played around and beat around the bush pretending to like me. All the while I am telling my husband I hate going to their house b/c I know she doesn't like me and I don't feel welcome and that I thought she was jealous that I was taking up all his time. Well, it got to the point where she was telling my husband to send me back to SC, our marriage would never last (after she found out we were attending marriage counseling), she was sending my husband text messages telling him HE could come over, but "leave your wife and baby at home." My husband had to go over to their house one day to fax something and he claimed they wouldn't be home (he said they left the door open for him), turns out they were there. She didn't want me to come in the house, so she (and my husband, too, he's at fault just as much as she is for this one) made my son and I sit in the sun, in the car with the windows rolled down in the middle of the afternoon, car was off to conserve gas (mid-size SUV, a bit of a gas guzzler for our budget). My son was only about 7 months old and he was sweating so bad in his seat. WE WAITED FOR 20 MINUTES!!!! Even though I kept calling/texting to see what was going on.. They just kept talking to him when he told them he had to go. She was constantly talking about how men with my husband's build were her type before she met her husband (she was saying this in front of ALL of us, including her husband). But then she would tell DH that her hubby wasn't 'big enough' and never fulfilled his 'duty', if you know what I mean. I tried to be nice to her every time I saw her, even though I knew she didn't like me. I never said anything rude to her, I never talked about her behind her back (she was the only person I knew out here at the time).. So all I can do is assume that she was jealous that my husband wasn't going over there as much after we got here.

Skip to Easter '09. Hubby and I were at WalMart and they called us. They were asking us to bring their daughters remote (they had let us borrow their daughter's tv while we waited for our stuff to get here- we lost the remote and later found it after they had taken the tv back). Well, I didn't really want to but I was tired of holding on to something that didn't belong to us, so I told him to tell them we would bring it over BUT they would have to come outside to get it (b/c of the previous incident of my son and myself being left in the car for 20 minutes). They said that was Ok.. Well, my husband texts the guy telling him we were at their house and his wife comes out. My husband rolled down MY window and held the remote by it, but instead she went to HIS window (that wasn't even open). So he rolled down the window and went to hand her the remote and she snatched it from him with an attitude. Then she started saying how she would F me up if she wasn't pregnant and she was tired of my crap and she never felt welcome in my home (she went to my house TWICE. Once, I had to keep calling my husband to bring me clothes b/c our suitcase was in another room and I was literally in a T-shirt and panties- didn't exactly think that was appropriate attire in front of her husband and 3 kids! So they left just b/c I had to keep calling him to bring me things.. Like a bra. And pants. The second time she came over was the DAY AFTER all our household goods had come and she was going on and on about how she had all her stuff unpacked the day it came in- which my husband still says is a load of BS b/c he had met them when before they got their stuff and he said stuff sat in boxes for weeks! So she was just trying to make me feel inferior- it worked, but I was also going through PPD, too, which she also knew about). Then she was going on about how we were hanging out with other people, which is really none of her business, and are we always going to go to the other's house instead of theirs.. Anyway, so I was about to get out the car and get in her face but told my husband to floor it instead b/c she was pregnant and I didn't want to MPs called. For A WEEK they called/texted/emailed MY HUSBAND trying to get him to talk to them. The guy was justifying his wife, even though he had previously told hubby that HE didn't have a problem with me.. Now all of a sudden he did?? When I didn't do anything?? Anyway, so my husband told them he didn't want any contact of any kind with them (email, call, text). SO they got their DAUGHTER to text my husband asking him what he was doing! He ignored her, too.

Fast forward a couple weeks and the MPs knock on my door. They said my neighbor called and wanted them to check up on me b/c she hadn't seen me all week (I thought that was odd b/c I had just seen BOTH of my neighbors a few days before and exchanged Hello's). Told them I was fine and after a few more questions, they left. ONE WEEK LATER, the MPs come around again. Telling me the same BS about my 'neighbor' (again, I had just seen both of my neighbors just a day or two before they arrived). A few questions and they left again. ONE WEEK LATER THEY COME AGAIN!!!! By this time I am just irritated with this whole thing b/c AGAIN I had seen both my neighbors just a couple days before! So I got the guts to ask them if it was ______ _____ that was calling. They denied it. So I said 'Good! B/c if it was her, I would need to get a restraining order on her for stalking me through the MPs. We told them we didn't want ANY contact, so if it was her calling, she's getting contact through you.' After that, they left.. And never came back again! Hmm..

That was May of last year.. Fast forward to last night..

Hubby got on his FB to take a quiz that I had taken just a few minutes before. He almost never checks his FB, so he had a couple messages. One of which was from 'HER'!!! She was asking if he was still married. He replied asking why she even cared. She then replied saying something to the affect of him being nicer before Iraq. He said he was nicer before she cursed me out for no reason. THEN she started talking about how she 'heard I was huge' and she wanted to let him know that she had 'lost a lot of weight'. We know someone in her husband's Company.. She's still bigger than me. ANYWAY, my husband told her he didn't appreciate her talking about me like that, I was beautiful unlike her ugly ass (his words). He asked her to leave us alone. She sent him another message bashing me again, even though she hasn't seen me herself so she really wouldn't know. He again asked her to leave us alone.

Anyway, just to be clear.. I do need to lose weight. I put on about 20 pounds in the last couple months due to my activities being limited b/c of some medical issues. That's none of her damn business, though, so my husband didn't tell her that was the reason.

ANYWAY.. I was so nervous yesterday that I was shaking.. SHAKING!!!! All that crap she put us through last year.. For more than a year we have been free of her crazy behind and now all of a sudden, she's trying to talk to my husband again!!! He already blocked her on FB, just so you know. He has no interest in talking to any of them.

Sorry this was so long.. I just had to get this out.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Iris - posted on 10/23/2010

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Hon, I'll tell them you were with me all night. Just drive your car here down to Hickam and park it outside my house before you go on your mission, I'll let you out the back door ;).

I've heard a lot of crazy stories my 12 years and this is just one more. You did the right thing by mentioning her name to the MP's. If that is not enough than you should call her husband's supervisor and complain, that might also get her husband out of his bubble.

Sharon - posted on 10/24/2010

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I just realised something else. This sort of military fraternization is a HUGE NO-NO. people lose their careers over this. If she gets worse and this gets back to his comanding officers, he's fucked. They'll see her psycho behaviour as proof he's been bed hopping, especially as you weren't there for 5 months with him.

He would better off going to his CO's with whatever evidence he has that she is nuts. He'll still look suspicious but he'll have been proactive in protecting himself.

[deleted account]

Not for nothing, but now you have posted your issues on a public forum. I certainly don't wish any harm upon you or your family. But, your dirty laundry is now available for anyone to see. I might suggest printing up this thread, and asking the moderators to delete this. God forbid *something* actually does happen to this women, fingers *could* be pointed back to you. Not saying you're right or wrong, but the situation is best left out of the public internet's eye.

Tah - posted on 10/22/2010

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you know...i don't know..this is just all beyond me...i like to think i am nice person...but some people know me better than others....sometimes people make me want to take it back to my carefree days, i can't even say some of the things i did...not sure of statute of limitations...but like Jenny said....someone needs to bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep....That is yur husband and not fair game, and if her husband had any sense he would see that she wants yours....Who cares if you put on 20 pounds..or 40...that is so besides the point..don't let her make you feel bad about yourself....keep records, if all else fails, buy an outfit all in black..borrow a friends car that would never snitch...catch her ass out and about and as my mother would say.."tear fire to her tail"..do you need an alibi, cause you were here all night...we watched movies had popcorn and wine...what ever is she talking about?...

Krista - posted on 10/24/2010

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No, but Sharon G. does have a point. Your husband does NOT want to be the one on the defense here. If his only "proof" of his fidelity is that he doesn't have an STD and that he likes pretty girls, well, that's one thing for you, because you KNOW him. But would those alibis wash with someone who doesn't know him as well as you do? He needs to go to his CO's with detailed records of what has been taking place.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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C. - posted on 10/25/2010

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Jackie, I know my husband and he would never do anything with her. He never even thought she was coming after him like that.. Sometimes he STILL doesn't. He just thought/thinks she's being friendly just as he has been friendly to their family.



Anyway, to answer your question.. His friend (this woman's husband) would let my husband shower over there after PT. My husband stayed with them for a while b/c our house was so lonely b/c nobody was there yet, just him. So all his stuff was over there at the time.



AFTER we got out there, though.. She still tried to get my husband to go shower over there b/c they live much closer to where he works. Our house was and still is (we live right around the corner from our old house) quite a ways away. And traffic is really bad out here, too. Most of the good civilian jobs are out near Honolulu, so the people that live in Haleiwa but work out there, go past the military reservation (where we live) in the mornings, which backs it up even more. So he was trying to cut down on his travel time and gas. Once he realized what she was doing (after her outburst for no reason), he started making sure he had enough time to come all the way out here to shower and get ready.



Sorry.. Went in to a little bit of a rant, there. Hope that answered your questions, though.

Jackie - posted on 10/25/2010

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Why on earth would she try to get him to shower over there when he has a perfectly good shower of his own? And why would he go there after PT and not home in the first place? Sounds fishy to me

C. - posted on 10/24/2010

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I understand that.. But there was one time out of the many that my husband was over there, that he was with her alone. And that was when they were walking through her old neighborhood to her friend's house so they could feed the dog. It took all of 5 minutes. All the other times, he was with their family.. Going to the beach, the park, shopping, out to eat, eating at their house, etc. She DID try to get my husband to take showers over at her house after PT but my husband only went when her husband was there, too.



I don't know.. I'm honestly just tired of worrying about it at this point.

C. - posted on 10/24/2010

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@Sharon Cohen-Fonzo.. I would never do anything to her, she's not worth getting in trouble over.

@Sharon Grey.. Trust me. This woman's got something. It would have been passed to both my husband and myself by now if he did anything sexual with her. Besides, she's not easy on the eyes at all and he's always been one to like a pretty girl.. (I've seen his exes). I know he didn't do anything with her nasty behind.

[deleted account]

I agree with the other ladies, keep records for everything and get this dealt with quick. Good luck

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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Thanks, ladies!

@Jenny.. I knew you were serious. It just made me smile though.

Well, I wasn't here for about 5 months after my husband got out here. BUT he always said she was like the sister he never had (he only has one brother). Apparently she was wanting my husband to be more than a brother figure to her.

I'll write more later.. There's a few more things I wanted to address, but I need to get off here for a little bit.

[deleted account]

Two words: restraining order.

That bitch is crazy. Glad your hubby sees that too, and really glad you guys are trying to eradicate her from your life. Be careful, though. She sounds like some kind of crazy bitch who'd attack you if she got the chance. Yup, a restraining order is very much in order.

[deleted account]

Wow, I'm so sorry you've got a nutjob on your hands. I can sympathise because we have a stalker problem too. Unfortunately for us, it's my husband's ex-girlfriend (from 5 years ago!) and every time her life turns to shit she starts up the psycho stuff. Instead of MPs or police coming to our house, we get DoCS (Child Safety) visits.

I agree with the others who've said to keep a log of everything! I do that, including hang ups (because we get a fair few of them). If you can get a restraining order, have your husband file it! Because her obsession is revolving around your husband, it would make a stronger case and be easier to get one if he files and includes you and the family. I would also recommend changing phone numbers (mobile and home) if possible. The phone company will change your number for free if you tell them that you have someone harassing you.

In our case, no one has our home number and it's unlisted. Just after we changed our mobile numbers, we told anyone who we gave the number to (only family) that it was not to be given to anyone, no matter what. It didn't work and somehow she got hold of our unlisted mobile numbers... I could never find the leaky source.

It does sound a bit like jilted lover crazy, which is another reason your husband should be the one to take action. Inform her husband and his superiors and restraining order (if possible).

It's not a fun thing to have a psycho wandering in and out of your life. We've had it for 5 years and counting. I used to be afraid that she would come and burn our house down one night while we were all asleep, or something equally sinister. Over the years I've come to realise that she's just a nuisance. I hope you're is just a nuisance too, but if you have the ability to push her back (with AVOs, talking to superiors, etc)... well, by all means, DO IT! I know from experience that she will not stop of her own accord. She may not escalate into doing harmful things, but why wait to see if she does or not?

Good luck, Christina! Go give 'em hell!

[deleted account]

wow!! and i thought i met some crazy wives when my husband was in the navy!! she wins the crazy crusader prize.. yeah block her from any contact avenue you can think of.. and i would definitely have mp number ready and i would also have your husband or you talk to superiors.. her hubby will get in a lot of trouble bc of her behavior, trust me.. hopefully that will open his eyes a bit.. yikes i hope she leaves you alone, just keep your eyes open

Isobel - posted on 10/23/2010

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I must admit...her actions do seem pretty consistent with jilted lover :(

Jenny - posted on 10/23/2010

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I was serious.

Christina, I hate to bring it up but are you 100% sure there was never any past relations with this woman? She must be receiving some sort of reward to continue this behaviour. If she doesn't then, ya, I'm going with sociopath.

April - posted on 10/23/2010

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i like the others' advice about the restraining orders and keeping logs. however, i do think it needs to be stressed that something has to be done urgently. it worries me how obsessed this woman has become. clearly it started small and has built up to her doing riskier and riskier things. she could kill you...i think jenny was serious when she said this woman sounded like a sociopath. it's a very real possibility.

Bonnie - posted on 10/23/2010

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Wow sounds like this woman has some serious issues. No one should ever have to go through this. She definately sounds obsessed!

Desiree - posted on 10/23/2010

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Sounds Like someone has serious trouble on their hands, better deal with it and very Urgently.

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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Hahaha.. No, I got that part.. I was talking about the whole Spain thing. :)

Tah - posted on 10/23/2010

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DNA test..you silly..lol....gezz..i forget some of chicks are on different times..lol

Tah - posted on 10/23/2010

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print the facebook messages out and tape them to his forehead...he needs to wake up..at the bottom give him the number to labcorp so he can have his mouth swabbed......i think he can do it on certain bases...my husband was 99.9 percent NOT the father of scallywags baby..he said he must not of even been in the country...lol...maybe he wss with her husband in spain when these chicks got knocked up..lol

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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Hahaha.. Thanks, Iris :) If she does it again, I will call her husband's supervisor.. I don't think he even knows she contacted my husband. But then, why would he tell her that he saw me at the commissary if he didn't want to start something? *sigh* I've heard crazy stories too.. Though I haven't been a military wife for very long.. This by far tops the cake.



My friend's husband is in this guy's Company.. I feel sorry for her b/c she has to see this psycho at Company functions.

C. - posted on 10/22/2010

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I did go off on her, after she started verbally attacking me. That's why I was about to get out the car. I just didn't want to go to jail for hitting a pregnant woman. She's not worth jail time.



Tah.. I love you :) That post made me smile.



Jenny.. Yours did, too :)



I really do try to be nice to people.. But when you've caused that many problems in someone's life AND marriage.. I guess I was too patient at the time. I put up with her crap for 4 months before she went off on me like some psycho. But now I'm just getting so fed up with this crap from her. Last year it was stalking me through the MPs.. What's it going to be this year.. Ya know?



Oh, and I also have the MPs number in my phone this time. So if she stalks me and starts something.. I can just whip out my phone and tell them they need to take that crazy witch to jail before I punch her. I try to be patient but this is just ridiculous!



*EDITED TO ADD* Her husband is clueless. She's cheated on him before. He doesn't even know that the likelihood of their last baby actually being his is slim-to-none (something she confided in my husband about that came out during pillow talk..) She's just nasty all around. Nasty attitude, nasty everything. Can't stand her.

Ez - posted on 10/22/2010

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Umm yeah.. you're far more patient than I am. I would have blown up ages ago. But I understand it's a difficult situation since you're on base.



Just be firm. Ignore and block what you can, and if it gets to the point where she is threatening you then report her.

Caitlin - posted on 10/22/2010

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I would have decked her, but I have anger issues when it comes to stupid adults (strangely my patience has yet to find an end when it comes to the kids).

[deleted account]

Rant away girl. You're a more patient person than I am because I think I would have gone off on her long ago.

Dana - posted on 10/22/2010

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That really sucks, Christina. I'm sorry you're going through something like that. I'd just ignore her and all of it. It's not healthy for any of you to be worried about it. It sounds like your husband is doing a good job of shutting them out of your lives too.

Jenny - posted on 10/22/2010

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WOW someone neds to punch her in the fucking face. What a piece of work. I'm glad to hear your husband is taking steps to cut her out of your lives.

I'm with the other girls. See if you can get a restraining order, file harrasment charges, keep logs of everything.

If that fails, hire an assassin. She sounds like a sociopath.

C. - posted on 10/22/2010

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Oh, Loureen.. My mom and I told hubby that this lady wanted him.. He didn't see it until she started stalking me through the MPs. She's trying to do everything to get me to walk. I love my husband, so that's not going to happen. Thanks for the info on the phone records :) That will indeed come in handy.

Krista - posted on 10/22/2010

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I agree with Loureen. I don't know what the hell that woman thinks she's playing at, but I imagine that when your husband was going over there all the time she was probably doing a little compare 'n' contrast with her husband, and liked what she saw in yours.

I'd go to the MPs and give them a condensed version of what you've written here: how she's been making overtures towards your husband, how she's been texting him constantly, how she physically threatened you, and now how she's still trying to contact your husband. Ask them what your options are, considering that this woman is harassing you and your family.

And yeah, keep a log of what time those phone calls come in. Keep a log of EVERYTHING.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/22/2010

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As they say KARMA IS A BITCH AND THEN YOU MARRY ONE….so just know she will get hers when she least expects it…

That IS messed up on so many levels that you had to deal with someone like that..

She is indeed a piece of work…

Charlie - posted on 10/22/2010

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Holy shit CP that woman is after your man BIG TIME !

Single white female anyone , isnt there anything you can do legally to block her from coming near you or your child ? you can get the phone company to trace the calls you get as long as you keep record of the time they occur , i think you need three recorded times before they block it .

Im so sorry you have this maniac woman bothering you and your family :(

Lindsay - posted on 10/22/2010

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Wow this lady sounds like a piece of work. No one should have to deal with all that BS. Sorry you're dealing with all that, girl!

C. - posted on 10/22/2010

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I've blocked her and her husband on FB and Myspace after all this happened last year. My husband didn't b/c he didn't think it was necessary.. Until last night.

He had a few phone calls last week that came from an unknown number. When he answered, they just hung up. Just last week when it happened, I told him maybe it was her trying to see if he had his old number after he came back from deployment. After what went down last night, I wouldn't be surprised if it really was her calling his phone.

[deleted account]

Wow! I think you guys should get a restraining order against her ASAP. He shouldn't be responding to her. Block her from anything that comes up... phone number, Facebook, whatever. Sorry you've put up w/ that for so long. :(

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